"Accept what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be."
-Unknown
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Trevor's POV
Dinner was set and Alana was telling me all about her session today.
"...and so I realised that I am who I am and people like me for it. I felt so empowered and I wanna keep improving like this. Even though I may continue to have my downs, I realised that light can't be bright if there isn't darkness." Alana excitedly ranted out everything on her mind.
I felt something bloom inside of me.
To say I was proud of her just wasn't enough.
I seriously couldn't believe I can call a woman like her mine.
She has come so far and she's getting stronger by each day.
"You're doing amazing Snowflake! I'm so proud of you!" I sung praises although words can't put together all that I was feeling. It was more than all of that.
We finished up dinner and washed the dishes together before sitting down again for some ice cream.
Alana happily scooped a whole chunk of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and shoved it down her mouth in a blink of an eye.
I chuckled to myself before eating my mint choco one.
"How about you Trevor? Did everything go well today...?" Alana asked, trying to shine the spotlight more on me now.
"Of course Snowflake! There's nothing to worry about." I nervously covered up.
Telling her would make her worry too much...I didn't want to add on to her worries already...
"Trevor...stop trying to carry everything all alone. You are helping me deal with my father already and you are also handling your family...You can talk to me..." Alana comforted, giving me the urge to say everything out right there and then.
"I don't want you to worry anymore...It would stress you..." I explained.
Alana smiled warmly at me and she got up from the opposite table and sat down beside me. She took my hands in hers and cupped it.
"How can I have a worriless life if you're doing all the worrying? It doesn't work that way. Everything goes two ways and I want to be there for you too." Alana assured.
My eyes were shining with pride.
She really came this far...
She was so perfect.
I took a deep breath and decided to say it all out, knowing it is not something I should be hiding forever.
She was right. Relationships go both ways and communicating like this was important. It can't just go one way with me thinking about everything that benefits her and drowning myself in the process. It was all about fixing together and ship and sailing it hand in hand.
"My parents and sister apologised. It was so sincere...I understood where they were coming from when they blamed me for everything but...I still feel hurt. Aren't they my family? Shouldn't they trust in their son more than be blinded by the money...? I...just don't know...' I muttered out softly, feeling all too vulnerable.
Alana pat my back and I just continued, "My mum and sister were just in shock that day and probably because my father exploded they had to blame someone...Although I'm mad that it was me but I can't get over how angry I am at my dad..."
"He always put such high expectations on me. Although in all other parts of parenting, he did really well like playing with me and bringing me out on camping trips. He always forced success on me...It became so tiring. It felt like I had to succeed all the time and even if it was just average...it felt like a failure...I felt like a failure..." I managed to let out all of what I've been cooping inside.
Alana didn't say anything and so I tried to lighten the mood, "Haha that was all too deep wasn't it..."
Alana shook her head and she replied, "How lonely you must have been...struggling to "keep afloat" in that deep waters your father probably didn't know you couldn't swim in..."
My eyes filled with tears and it felt like a stab to the heart.
Someone can see through all that?
Alana wiped away one tear that flowed down my face and she left her hand on my cheek, stroking it with her thumb.
"You're so strong Trevor. You're not a failure. Look at you...You came so far and I'm so proud that I met you and can call you mine.: Alana said as she looked into my eyes intensely, as if looking at my soul.
Tears just continued to stream down my face and I laughed as an attempt to cover all of them up as I wiped them off with my hands.
Alana gripped my hands and placed it down on my lap and she started wiping it all off for me instead.
"Let it all out" and that was my cue to break down.
Alana engulfed me in a hug and I clung onto her for dear life.
My shoulders were shaking and all which made her hug my tighter.
She pat my back between regular intervals, murmuring stuff "You're doing well Trevor", "Let it all go" and "I love you".
I was genuinely comforted and I felt as if someone understood me deep down. Not as Trevor Knight, the CEO of Knight Enterprises but just me. Trevor Keane Knight.
I felt so reassured in this situation and just took it all in.
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After all the crying turned into short sniffs, I pulled away and Alana had tears on her face too.
"What's wrong Snowflake?" I worriedly asked.
"No...it's just...Don't carry all those burdens alone again...I want to help too. Rely on me..." Alana asked of me as she sniffed.
I wiped away her tears and she did the same for me.
I replied, "Thanks Snowflake...I will do that...I'll share all my burdens with you. Let's continue journeying together. I love you."
This moment was so raw, feeling like it was a opening the door to each other's heart session. Not the lovey-dovey heart but the deep down where all our insecurities life.
It felt so good.
"I love you too Trevor. We will get better together." Alana firmly assured, making both of us believe in her words.
We then fell into a comfortable silence, just making eye contact and letting each other know without words that we would always be there for one another.
Out of the blue, Alana cupped my cheeks and she pulled me in and her soft lips landed on mine.
I was shocked.
Too shocked in fact that I didn't kiss her back.
This was the first time she initiated a kiss.
Alana then pulled away, insecurely saying, "Was that not the right time to do it...? Hehe I always wanted to but...Was it..."
I smirked and before she could doubt herself more, I crashed her lips on mine.
This kiss was different.
It felt like we were all letting go of all our insecurities. Letting go of our flaws and just accepting each other for who we are. We both felt proud of each other and the love in the air was intoxicating.
I was drunk on her as our tongues were dancing to an unknown rhythm.
My body was heating up and I felt a need to close the gap between us. Thus, I grabbed her thighs and lifted her such that she was on my lap.
Her little gasp gave me the opportunity to take dominance over her little tongue that had been putting me a little fight with me.
I won.
She seemed really fired up and demanded that she should be the one in control through the actions of her tongue.
I continued teasing her, biting her lip, provoking her some more.
With that we continued, not really knowing the concept of time anymore.
With her, everything is way better.
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Alana's POV
Our foreheads rested on each other's one.
We were trying to catch our breath as well as just savouring the moment and the moments that led to all of these.
Life was just getting better.
With him, everything else doesn't matter.
"Hey um Snowflake?" Trevor asked.
"Hmmm?" I curiously looked up at him.
"I think mint choco and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream shouldn't be mixed..."
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Yea! Second update of the day :D
Hope y'all enjoyed this one (more Trevor focused and more into him than just on Alana)
Ah yes June is ending and what have I done? Lived like a pig and slept definitely like one AHHA
My hamster went to the vet today and I'm so proud of him! He came back home and slept like a log
Anyways thanks for reading and all of the support, it feels so fulfilling to come here and write for y'all.
See y'all soon! :D