"Hey, you're up early today" Em spoke wrapping a blanket around her sitting beside me on the sofa.
"Yeah I had bad dream" I spoke putting my legs on her lap as she throwed the blanket on my legs.
"What about?" Em asked yawning as casted a look at the beautiful sunrise.
"Related to Ryder" I mumbled playing with the corner of her blanket.
"That asshole comes in your dreams too, ugh how much I hate him!should I go beat his ass for you? " em exclaimed pouting angrily. She looked like a cute angry bird.
I inwardly smiled knowing Em didn't question what I saw in the dream.
But then again Heather's words passed through my head. Should I tell them everything?
"Em you don't even know how to punch but it's okay. I'm fine, thank you though" I replied patting her knees.
"Hey! I was trying to help" She gasped fake glaring me.
"And I appreciate it" I retorted snorting at the image of Em fighting in my head.
She can't even kill a fly.
I hope I don't jinx that.
"What you bitches doing this early?" Roni mumbled coming out of the bedroom.
She climbed over the sofa between us, hogging the blanket as she rubbed her eyes.
"It's 9am. It's not that early" I protested as she pulled her kmees up keeping her head on it.
Em tried to straighten her knotty hair. They always look like a birds nest in the morning.
"Yeah 9 AM, that's called early" roni reasoned throwing her head back.
I shook my head as we silently viewed the mesmerizing nature. The sound of waves hitting the shore strangely makes me relax.
"what did you and mom talk about?" Roni asked finally. I know she's been dying to ask that.
I throwed my head back as I laughed.
"You woke up just to ask me that didn't you?" I teased as Em chuckled.
"She did. She just paced around while you guys chit chatted" Em chided in.
Roni huffed snatching Em's blanket.
"alright fine, I did think about it alot. So what did you guys talk about?" Roni muttered with defeat.
I sank back into the couch as I had a small desire to tell them everything, all of a sudden.
"I don't want our moods to be ruined in the morning" I said as they both watched me with calculating eyes.
"Seeing your face this early already ruined it." Roni added making me give her a "are you serious" look.
This bitch and her mouth.
Em stiffled her laugh seeing my annoyed face.
"When do the guy's wake up?" I questioned as em took a picture of the beach.
"Not for two more hours" Roni replied looking back at the clock.
"Okay, I need you guy's to listen to what I'm about to say and please don't interrupt me. Everything I did had a reason" I started as they both turned their bodies facing me.
I closed my eyes trying to take in everything. Am I about to do this? Is this the right thing to do?
"You guy's know about Ryder harassing me once right?" I stated to which they gave me a unsure nod.
I took a deep breath. Here we go.
"It wasn't once. It started on my birthday two years ago. Ryder -" I can't do this. I bit my lip trying to stifle my cries.
I'm gonna listen to Heather. She was never wrong, I'm gonna tell them everything from the start.
Em stood up coming beside me giving me a side hug as Roni squeezed my hand. I gave them a grateful nod.
I need to do this.
"Before I tell you anything about me, you guys know that Heather is back in London for her college. I lied" I admitted as Ronis forehead furrowed.
"What do you mean Har?" Em asked sitting down on the floor. The blanket long forgotten.
"I lied to you guy's. I'm sorry. Heather came with us here or I should say she's the reason we came here. Fin her ex boyfriend of that time assaulted her. He r-raped he-r" I sobbed balling my hands into fists.
Em gasped as Roni turned stiff.
"Please don't say anything now let me finish. Heather is in coma since that day. Precisely my birthday. It happened today two years ago. I saw her getting raped but I couldn't do a thing I was frozen as if time stopped,the same day I was kidnapped and held hostage for a whole week" I spoke softly trying not to show the cracks in my voice.
Em shaked her head as tears flowed down her cheeks, her whole body shaked with her cries. I glanced away as my heart broke once again.
Roni still was unresponsive the only thing that told me she was listening were her eye's getting harder my every second and her hands balling into fists tightly.
"Fin was the one who kidnapped me after he got to know I witnessed him raping my sister. R-Ryder was the one who did everything though. He would come everyday leaving a permanent scar everyday. He tied my hands and legs to the wall. A-and then one day he took my everything- h-he raped me again and a-again and I-i couldn't do anything to stop it. That's why those marks on my body. He branded me with his belt, his knife. His hands. I-felt dirty" I cried out as fat tears rolled down my body shaked as a headache formed inside my head.
"that's why I started fighting to let everything out. I-I self harm sometimes not recently though. It's the reason I don't like physical contact with guys anymore. I know you guys noticed" I stated not meeting their eyes as no word was uttered. The silence making me squirm uncomfortably.
"Why why didn't you tell - us?" Em sobbed hugging me tightly as I hugged her back as tightly.
"I'm sorry but I didn't want anything to happen to you guys. When I got home a week after, the police arrested them when they tried to go out of the city. Now they are out that's why Ryder came. It's too dangerous. I'm sorry" I apologized as Roni looked at me angrily.
"Why the fuck are you saying sorry?! Where is that fucking asshole, I need to kill him. I'll take his limbs out and make him eat it then kill him and dump him in a sewer" She spat shaking my shoulders.
I pulled my lips into a thin line. Now that they know everything my chest feels like a huge burden has been lift off it but I won't tell them that they are still after me. Or that Ryder abused me again at my own home.
"No they aren't gonna come near me" I shaked my head as em turned me towards her.
"can I see it? The s-scars?" She asked as tears swelled up in her eye's again.
"Yeah not right now Em. It'll be too much for you" I answered picking my nails.
"wasn't it too much for you too when he did it? Let me see it. Let me see what I missed noticing for the past two years. I cannot believe how I didn't notice you having panick attacks or Nightmares. I'm so sorry. I'm not a great best friend." she almost screamed regret swirling in her eye's.
That's what I was afraid of. Them blaming themselves. It's no omes fault except those assholes.
"Har don't you dare say don't blame yourselves. We do and will. I didn't notice you having this hard time and just told you about my problems and now you want me to let that go? No I won't. You're so strong to go through that on your own and still stand up strong to the world. I always wondered why you acted that way in front of others but not us. How I wish I knew the reason sooner. I want to help you now. Tell me how I do that please?" Roni fumed her knuckles turning white.
I cried quietly listening to her words. I'm so grateful to have them. I'm not gonna lie once thought if they knew they would be disgusted by me but now I know not them not my friends.
"Don't be hard on yourselves, I just hid it well and just please act normal with me" I pleaded as they both engulfed me in a hug.
We cried together for sometime. They nodded their heads but I know them it's not gonna be easy for them to not blame themselves.
"Are you sure?" Em aksed as I stood up to show them the bruises all over my body.
I nodded lifting my shirt up to show the light carved line from my abdomen towards my back. It wasn't that noticeable until you look so closely.
Em fell to the ground hugging her knees as she cried.
Lifting up my shorts I showed them more scars then one on my shoulder, one on my forearm which I got recently from Ryder but they don't need to know that.
"Oh god" Em cried out as Roni hugged me.
"you're so so strong. If you have any Nightmares come to me yeah? Don't harm yourself now you have us now" She pleaded not losing her grip as if I'd disappear.
"Okay. Thank you" I replied as my voice broke.
"I - ill be back. I just need to process this" Em spoke going out as I nodded at her retreating figure.
Astrea came out of her room tying her hair up in a pony tail. Her eyes connected with mime as I nodded at her. She walked up to us kissing our foreheads as roni slowly let go of me.
"Girls how does pancake and bacon sound?" Astrea asked motioning us to follow her to the kitchen.
"Lovely" I replied wiping my tears.
"come on then" She cheered as we both sat on the island watching her cook.
"Thank you fir telling us" Roni whispered squeezing my hand.
I nodded smiling at her. I'm alright. I feel happy.
"Omg bts butter just came out!" Astrea screamed with joy pushing her phone in her face as I laughed at her fan girl face.
"Dang, jungkook looks hot. Wait they all look good. Why can't I have them?" Roni whined giving me a side glance.
Astrea laughed connecting her phone to the speaker jamming to the new song and flipping the pancakes.
Aww she's cool I love her.
"Love, I told you to not call him hot! I'm the only hot one" Sébastien said wrapping an arm around her waist as she ignored him talking about bts with Astrea.
"where's Em?" Noah asked wiping his hair from his face as he snatched a peice of bacon from the dish making Astrea shove him.
"Stop ignoring me, love!" Sébastien whined kissing her cheek.
I love them. I'm so lucky.
Warmth engulfed me as I felt a presence behind me.
Sugar.
His hands snaked behind me sneakily taking a peice of my bacon pressing his front to my back.
"Good morning, cupcake" He whispered in my ear as goosebumps rose. My eyes connected with Astrea as she scolded Noah.
She winked at me as my cheeks tinted pink.
"Morning, sugar" I replied smiling back as we both Silently watched everyone.
"smile often it looks beautiful on you" Adrian whispered backing away hugging Astrea taking a plate of his own.
Here comes the blush.
I love this. I love them. I feel content now.
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Hey pebbles! It's been so long since I updated but here it is. Enjoy!