Four years feel like four centuries.
Was it an illusion? I ask myself everyday.
Was it some evil magic trick? That scent.
But the beast in me knows, it was her. She was there.
A reason to patrol the Rucussan border every night. If not night, the day.
The urge to sniff her scent, see her, hear her--makes me insane.
As if she has disappeared.
The day before Ceremony, King asked me about her. He listened to me keenly as I tried to describe her scent.
He patrolled the border like every Lycan Alpha does and found no scent like of hers to confirm it to himself. Still he searched for her during the ceremony, he told me. She wasn't there.
I couldn't doubt the Alpha's keen sense of smell, his aura and his instincts. He didn't skip her.
She skipped me.
King assured me that she is too young to look for her mate and participate in the Ceremony.
But I think the worse.
Miggy's fate makes me doubt my own. What if something happened to my mate too? The thought curls my heart with every breath I take.
It is easier for Oscar. He isn't left hanging in the middle. I have been and I get worried.
Virion and Adam have grown up. They searched the whole pack too. With same fates as ours, they await the mere sniff of their foreign mates' scents too.
The sound of cheers shake me from my thoughts.
The bright torches everywhere, the sacred fire, the roars and cheers from the crowd--piss me off.
But Aunt Rose is happy, I tell myself to calm my anger. Or maybe, jealousy.
Otherwise, Anton didn't spend a mere round in search for his mate.
No sweat. No tears.
These four years, his focus was on training his younger brother, following what my father says, what King says, what Beta Barald says. He leaned his teachings as ambitiously as we did, but without the longing for his mate.
He drinks wine and dances with the widows. Even during the festivals, he mumbles prayer to the Goddess with no sincerity. Working with us in the fields, instead of waiting, he lived his moments. He enjoyed his young age and took the responsibility of leading his family as perfectly as King and Salome do.
But the sincerity to wait for a mate? There was none.
We have been together since forever. We play with pups, tease our sister-in-laws, cook food with our mothers. We train, work hard in the fields, wrestle during the storms, swim in the lake, goof around together. We create joy with same liveliness.
But when it comes to valuing the presence of a mate, he has never shown interest. Oskar and I keep control on our gazes. But he watches the females like any attracted male would.
Three weeks ago, Adam couldn't handle his first shift properly. Anton ran in concern for his younger brother to the grounds near the Mystics' border, not letting him feel the absence of a father and the foreign scent reached his nostrils.
His mate was looking for him.
My blood boils at the thought.
He was too cocky while narrating us the story.
Who wrote his destiny? Who! Why my mate isn't looking for me? Why did it turn out so easy for him who didn't even look forward to meeting his mate all these years?
My empty days and nights, full of discouragement, makes me want to howl in hurt.
I have waited for so long.
I want to be upset and release all my anger. But will it calm my burning heart?
Nothing will. Only her presence will bring me peace.
I have gotten familiar to the forests around the border that touches her pack. Those trees have become my friends. They help me hide, they hear my bated breaths. The hear my heartbeats whenever I hear an approaching sound. They hear my disappointed sighs when it turns out to be someone else. The owls that sit on the branches there recognise me.
The long distance doesn't seem long anymore. Even if I don't use my mind, my feet take me to that border on their own.
On full moon, on new moon-I have looked for her in flesh, and in fur.
The scent never reached me again.
These three weeks, all Anton has been excited about was mating.
Alvena already seems scared of him. She respects the bond, the choice that Moon Goddess made for her. But she is sad like every other foreign bride. She is an Alpha's daughter. Her aura screams it with the way she doesn't let out a single tear. She smiles and respect the rituals.
But even the young pups must be noticing that Anton isn't someone she must have had dreamt of.
I wonder how an outsider think of us at the first sight? Alvena's eyebrows twitches everytime any of the aged male burps or chugs on the wine. She noticed the way males are snatching meat from the plates.
It is the same disgust I saw in Nysa's eyes during her bond with Robin.
Alvena notices as Anton chews a mouthful of meat too with his bare hand. He licks the gravy off his lips and hit the glass of wine with of Robin's hard enough to spill both their wines a little.
The bride smiles when her eyes meet Nysa's. They both exchange a tight smile that speaks thousand words about how their lives here will be different than the one they lived before crossing the border.
I wish it didn't have to be this way.
I would burn in shame if my mate notices me like that. I won't eat in front of her in the beginning. First, I will notice how she eats and lives.
Do I even look like an ideal Lycan? I doubt it.
There are accounts written about how radiant Ronyn looked when he would go for a round around the territory. His aura was what every Beta used to describe as of an ideal Lycan.
King holds authority now. He shines and doesn't exploit his powers. The pack respects him and loves him even more. When I look at him, I wonder how pleased the ancestors must be.
My gaze moves back on Anton and I blink in slight hurt again.
He is smiling eye to eye. He is smirking time to time, winking at us, telling us that this is the way.
To be calm and not wait for the mate.
How can I not when she is the only one who will be mine and mine only?
My jaws clench for a moment as I realise again that four years have passed. My blood boils and I rub my hand against my forearm. I breathe out a sigh and calm myself.
Anton is proud and pleased.
Mother welcomed his mate warmly. The instant connection of belonging to the same pack formed at the first meet itself.
There were tons of smiles of discomfort when both the mystics hugged and mumbled hymns that none of us could understand. I was inspired because Mother made her feel at home, instead of showing her usual sadness.
Nysa doesn't look happy with the way Alvena is behaving. She might have expected something else and seemed disappointed. I can notice that she wants to corner the new bride and catch up with what is happening outside.
I understand her curiosity. She will ask about the well being of her old pack.
I want to ask her about the Southern Pack myself.
Mother is growing old faster because of her grief. No matter how much I try to keep everyone happy, she has just given up.
Father notices my secret visits to eight towers. He once even stopped me. But I didn't stop. He is upset with me lowly. But I do not care. I won't stop. He even wonders if I didn't find my mate because I have been disturbing Severa.
She wouldn't do that to me, I know. She knows the longing.
It is all the doing of Supreme Serene. Our Moon Goddess.
Tara's shift is closer and I don't feel good about it.
It is the way Lucine smiles at her everytime she comes down to the village. With sadness and mischief. I don't feel good about what's coming for my little sister.
Lysar doesn't get the attention he needs. Half of the family is married. Half are pups.
He has friends out of the family. Noira and Alma used to play with him and other young pups at the grounds. But having so many elder brothers around, he is drawn towards being with the males more. Day by day, he scrunchs nose at the sisters and asks to join us at the physical tasks.
If the twin sisters were here with us, he wouldn't have thoughts like that.
I tell him to not worry about the pace. He listens but still paces. It is just the way he is.
I make sure to give him my presence as much I can as his elder brother. He seems the happiest when he tells me about his pranks with the aunts and Sister-in-laws especially, Amelia. But he also notices the way our parents aren't living as heartily as everyone should. He hides it by goofing around and getting along with the elder brothers.
Everyone has their own sorrows. To add more on them by sharing what eats me up in my heart, stops me from saying anything.
There are things I think of, wonder about, want to discuss. But there is no one whom I feel the heart to share with. Not everyone understands what I like, why I like. I tried to speak my thoughts but they seem unusual to others.
Being surrounded by a big family, I feel alone.
Even if I am in desperate need of my mate, I wish she doesn't feel the same loneliness in her pack. I hope she lives moments with her loved ones that she will be happy to narrate to me later.
I will wait longer if this is how it has to be.
She will spend more days with her family enough to not feel bad about leaving them, later.
"To our newly bonded brother and his bride!" King raises his glasses enthusiastically. Amelia mirrors his actions.
The crowd follows. I do too.
"Dance!" Lysar pulls me and Oskar to the middle of the wild crowd, knowingly.
I dance, in celebration, in misery.
Anton laughs.
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"Noira had to stay to watch over you. Because you kept curling up and hurting your neck in sleep. You still need to be careful about the postures to let it heal."
Nysa's voice had gotten heavier from her young days.
The one who used to rebel against the Lycans was now tirelessly doing all the tasks with no bitter feelings.
I woke up early today. Because the neck felt itchy. Noira said that it was a sign of recovery. She left early while Nysa returned as usual, preparing hot bath for me.
I dressed up in bright yellow long dress while she dried my hair. While I drank the freshly boiled milk, she waited for them to completely dry.
She talked about how the mark won't pain anymore and would instead be something I'd feel happy about with a genuine smile on her face. While her words attacked my heart, her eyes melted it.
All I wanted to do was hug her and tell her that I respected her. I had judged her, even thought of her as some maniac while she was just trying to blend in with the family after giving up on her strong self.
"I hear your throat shaking again," she sang while combing my dried hair. "If you think that any of us is angry or bitter about what happened, you are wrong. We are only grateful that you survived the mark."
She was braiding the hair loosely today to not hurt my scalp more after having a head burning from being full of Karam's past. She didn't pull much to not hurt my neck.
I kept gulping the lump that formed whenever she tried to talk sweet to me. I felt sad.
"For some reason I wonder what even happened. Did your mother give you any special thing to boost your immunity ever? The Lycans know when a being is about to die. Alvena was terribly scared when your heartbeats weren't rising. Your blood had gotten cold. Your skin had turned blue as if the Lycan poison was strictly determined on ending you. But something happened when you almost reached your end."
I blinked while hugging my knees close to me. Holding the grown nail of my thumb between my teeth, I heard her little hum at the completion of the braid.
She placed it softly at my back and came to the front to observe me. I sat properly, hanging my legs back from the chair and waiting for her to continue.
"You healed," she said while sitting on the bed in front of me. "Only the flower can cut the poison. Our wolf genes can fight the poison easily. But you have no wolf inside you."
"I was once bitten by Ryan's dog when I was twelve. I had to get four or five injections of anti-rabies vaccine," I mumbled while recalling hard now that she was stressing too much about it.
She shook her head and got up slowly, controlling the twitch at the corner of her lips.
"Enough of the isolation. Now go out and walk. Get active. You'll feel better." She rubbed her hands while passing me a glance and turned around to leave.
"Nysa." I called out without a thought.
She stopped and turned her head.
I pressed my lips tight, wondering what to say. "Does it really gets better?"
My voice was low and even cracked a little. Her curiosity faded after hearing my question. For a moment, I saw the rebel died inside her waking up and turning sad. She masked it with an empathetic gaze.
"It always gets better," she answered while blinking softly. "You'll just have to look on the good side."
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"Have you ever visited Rucussa?"
Alvena smiles in satisfaction. She knows I have been wanting to ask her this question from the last five days.
I pick up the bucket full of dirty clothes immediately while she nods and starts walking ahead into the forest.
The afternoon is not so silent. The sunlight is harsh and everyone wants to take a dip in the lake and wash clothes. Today, Amelia and Nysa stayed home because Alvena is mixing with us faster.
I was looking for a chance and this was it.
"Often." Just one word.
She is clever but doesn't show it. She stays humble.
"What kind of werewolves they are?" I ask more.
She stares ahead in the way. Her smile doesn't fade easily. But her eyes tell that she is thinking of her answers carefully.
"They are. . . Modern."
My lips part in surprise. "What?"
She glances at me with a smile and looks back in the front. "They are good wolves, brother. They are disciplined. But every pack has their own story. History. Brutal pasts. Their thinking is way ahead of us."
I feel a jump in my heart.
"They are different but loves Moon Goddess as much as we all do." She says and observes the path. "Alpha Gilbert doesn't have sisters if that's what you wanted to know. The Beta has one and she is Valeria."
I bite my lip in discomfort.
"Alpha Gilbert has daughters though. There are many common females too who are unmated. They are. . . beyond your imaginations." She says while checking for my smile.
I am controlling not to.
"Tara came to me yesterday with the same curiosity," she chuckles and the slowly it fades.
"Southern pack?" I immediately stop in my tracks. Because of the whole ceremony, I had forgotten that Tara shifted two weeks ago. She has been searching for her mate.
Alvena looks as worried as I am. "She asked me if I have a brother."
My eyes get wide in shock. "Don't say it." I whisper in disbelief. That means. . . She will be. . .
Severa is listening.
"I knew the moment she shivered when she greeted me. The last male I had hugged before crossing the border was my elder brother, Karam. Your sister will be a Luna."
My eyes fill up as Miggy's face appeared in my mind.
"Would have been. . ."
She shakes her head while narrowing her eyes outlined by kohl. The emerald talisman on her neck shines bright. She blinks and her bright eyes are full of mischief.
"She will be if you tell me where she is buried-"
The sudden slap comes from nowhere. We both are too numb in hope and shock, we fail to recognise Anton's smell.
I leave the bucket and step ahead to stop him from slapping her again. Anton growls at me. His eyes turns red and claws are out.
Alvena staggers back and falls on the dirty ground. There's a sharp cut on her left cheek. She isn't shocked. The emerald stops shining. The innocence on her face returns.
Anton grabs her wrist and starts dragging her.
"Leave her!" I yell.
Anton pauses and glares at me. "Do not interfere, brother. And none of us tells anyone anything about what she told you. We don't know who is Tara's mate," he says calmly, flaring his nostrils, looking me in the eye. "We don't! Do not dare build hopes and hurt your own sister!"
"If you'd help, we can find a solution." I mutter through gritted teeth.
Anton chuckles as if I made a joke and grunts. "The border is immortal. Our sisters can't cross it. But this witch can-"
His hand leaves her wrist and reaches for her long hair. Alvena flares her nostrils, preparing herself for whatever was coming.
He tugs hard. She whimpers in pain.
Anton looks at her in disgust. "I knew you mystics are like this only. I had warned you! You are not living with me on my land and stab me in the back.."
"Have mercy for your sisters!" Alvena says calmly through the pain. "The daughters! Help me, Anton. Help me-"
He pushes her on the ground. Pulling her by the hair again, he declares. "You are crossing the border and never coming back. I'd fuck widows than live with a lowlife like you. You live in my house, get my love and betray me! They don't send mates for mates, brother. They send puppets to spy on us!"
"Anton! Stop!" I reach them before he tries to slap her again.
I cover Alvena from his view while he growls at me. I growl back and push him on the chest.
"She won't do it again! If you take her to the border, create a scene--everyone will know. Tara will know! Your mother, she wants grandpups!"
Anton looks away in disgust. He is not ready to accept any kind of new proposition. Father's and Uncles' teachings are deeply engraved in his mind.
"She is your mate!" I remind him. He behaves as if he doesn't need her. He does. But he is too full of himself to realise it.
"No spying when she can't be here," Anton mocks as Alvena tries to stand up.
He turns furious again and I realise how possesive he has been of his things all his life. If he hated a male, he made sure to convince us to hate that male too.
I couldn't follow because an Alpha loves his pack and his family needs to love the whole pack too.
"She won't do it again." I tell him and move towards the right slowly.
He glares at Alvena who flinches and lowers her eyes. She cries softly. Anton clenches his jaws.
"Calm down!" I order with a low growl. "You cut her cheek. Wipe the blood!"
His eyes soften when he finally realises it. Before he could raise his finger to touch her cheek, Alvena looks up at him with bloodshot eyes.
"I am not even allowed to shift into my wolf by my own choice, here. You think I am dying to live here with someone like you. . ."
I open my mouth as Anton clenches his fists and I hear the crack of his fingers.
"You need me more than I need you. Your pack will die without males, mine will dance in celebration of my return. It is easy to hit an Alpha's daughter when she loves you. When she won't, you'll be counting your last breaths."
She loves him. She was looking for him. She waited to be with him, not caring about the border. And he treats her like this.
She turns around and walks away while wiping her cheeks.
I hold Anton tight as he growls and tries to free himself. He is losing his mind in anger and I get bored at seeing the madness.
I drag him to the side of the lake using full force and push him into the water.
"You don't deserve her!"
He floats absentmindedly, facing the sky, lost in his thoughts. While I turn around with deep worry rising in my chest.
Lucine will arrive soon and take Tara to the temple.
______
"What do you think?"
Please vote and comment.
___
I am in flow so I wrote this one too. I will write more.
I will publish PoV chapter later as I want all of us to be in the flow first. Because I updated very late. I am sorry 🙈 It's been hard. But I am writing continuously so don't worry.
We'll be enjoying fun chapters this week.
Good day/night. <3