BAU baddies
Emily: so I have some regrets
Y/n: bestie.. there better not be another dildo on the ceiling..💀
JJ: If there is, it was Derek, not us
Derek: Why is there panties on my desk and why do I know it was Emily who put them there???🖕🏾
Emily: oh that's not my regret lol YOU WEAR PANTIES I BOUGHT YOU SOME 😎😎
Derek: what if I was suicidal..😔😔😔😔
JJ: 💀 dont joke about suicide hotch will force you to do a psych eval again
Y/n: Hotchner needs a sense of humor🤚🤚
Hotch: Pardon me?
Y/n: AYO UH I MEANT YOURE A DILF UH BYE 🏃♂️🏃♀️🏃♂️🏃♀️🏃♂️🏃♀️🏃♂️
Derek: Y/N💀💀
Emily: hotchy bestie boo, why are you only funny sometimes please 💅💅 its painful!
JJ: Man if I had to deal with all of us, I would be too he deals with his BAU children then goes home to his own its neverending
Hotch: ^
Derek: Just cope🙄🙄 damn💅🏾💅🏾💅🏾
Emily: DEREK PAINTS HIS NAILS AS WELL? OOOO OKAY I SEE YOU I SEE YOU 🥰🥰
Reid: What's wrong with men painting their nails? It's just polish
Derek: ^ YEAH PRENTISS EVEN IF I DID 🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾
Emily: YO IT WAS A JOKE OH MY GOD CALM DOWN WHY IS EVERYONE UNFUNNY TODAY I CANT COPE🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️
Y/n: Oh my god who put a block of cheddar cheese in the coffee pot you fucking menace
Emily: WHAT THE FUCK Y/N YOURE JOKING 😰😰
Derek: WHY IN THE COFFEE POT 😠😠😠 I WAS LITERALLY JUST GONNA GO GET A REFILL ARE YOU SERIOUS
Y/n: WHICH FAILED ABORTION DID THIS SHIT WHOEVER DID IT IS GETTING THEIR SHIT ROCKED 🤺🤺🤺🤺
Hotch: Why cheddar, why blocked, and why is it there? What does it mean?
Reid: Who the f*** puts cheese in coffee?
Emily: Spencie not you censoring fuck, you're an adult you realize that right? You can curse cmon it's okay 🤔🤔
Derek: Leave him alone 🙄🖕🏾
Reid: I only curse when I'm really mad. If I do it when I'm not, it won't get my point across as efficiently.
Y/n: damn that's smart, I will not be participating ☺👍
Reid: :)
Emily: LMAO WHEN IM MAD I JUST THREATEN MEN WITH ESCITALOPRAM
Emily: YO WTF?? SCISSORS** WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WORD
Hotch: Anti depressant
Derek: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT SO FAST??? Hotchy are you ok?🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
Hotch: Now I am, but when my wife cheated on me then killed over, no I wasn't! ☺👍🏻
Y/n: ... Okay! Thank you for sharing with the class!
Reid: Escitalopram is also used for generalized anxiety disorder as well.
Derek: PRETTY BOY???😔😔😔
Reid: No I did not have to take it, I was just adding on, it's not only an anti depressant. Thought most anti depressants can treat anxiety as well.
Derek: damn yall killed the mood af 🧟♂️ arregghghh, mood killers 🤺🤺🤺🖕🏾
Emily: SEE NAH THAT WAS HOTCHS FAULT HE BROUGHT UP HIS DEAD ASS WIFE AND THE MOOD GOT WEIRD 😔😔
Hotch: Technically I only answered your question, I got asked how I knew, I elaborated
Hotch: it's never stopped you guys from being absolute nuisances before 🤔
Garcia: hm
JJ: Emily.. why do I have a feeling u put the cheese in the coffee
Emily: WHY WOILD I DO THAT IM FUCKING OFFENDED 😨🖕🏻
JJ: why is there a cheese wrapper for a block of cheddar cheese in your purse? 😕😕😕
Derek: EMILY YOU FUCKING- 😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠😠 DIE RN
Y/n: EM???? PLEASE SAY SIKE😰
Emily: ...it was funny okay? THAT was my regret
Derek: YOU ACTED LIKE IT WASNT YOU ARE YOU KIDDING ME. FOOT FUNGUS ENERGY🤢🤢🤢
Y/n: FOOT FUNGUS??😭
JJ: DEREK PLEASE EJENENEN
Hotch: Prentiss.. WHY
Emily: I was gonna tell a joke about cheddar in coffee but it'd be too cheesy
Derek: ..
Derek: HOTCH KICK HER FOR THAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME RN🤬🤬🤬
Hotch: ..
Emily: WAIT NO IM SORRY ILL MAKE A NEW POT I SWEAR
[Hotch removed "Emily"]
Y/n: damn now chats gonna be unfunny but it was well deserved ig
Derek: DIDNT YOU SAY WHOEVER DID IT IS GETTING THEIR SHIT ROCKED??? AND CALLED THEM A FAILED ABORTION? 🧐🧐🧐🧐
JJ: 💀💀 emily is upset add her back
Hotch: No! ☺
Y/n: yeah but its Emily, I cant hit bestie 😔👍
JJ: FUCK YOU IT WAS FUNNY ITS ONLY COFFEE -E
Hotch: A full fresh pot of it, now we have to wait we're all literally addicted
JJ: damn ur right ig maybe ALSO ILY Y/N THANK YOU -E
Derek: oh my god fuck fuck fuck Hotch I'm coming to hide in your office and I'm locking the door
Hotch: Huh?? Oh hi??
[Hotch added "Emily]
Emily: THANK YOU
Hotch: I only did it bc Derek looks like hes gonna piss himself and I thought you were the cause??
JJ: Oh my god
Emily: I didn't do anything this time what??
Derek: I THREW THE PANTIES OFF MY DESK AND IG THEY LANDED ON SOME RANDOM LADIES DESK AND SOMEONE TOLD HER IT WAS ME AND SHE HAD PEPPER SPRAY
Hotch: That's not okay? How the fuck did she get pepper spray WE aren't even authorized to carry it that's literally a weapon
Emily: we carry literal guns wym "weapon"
Reid: Guns are required, and we go through training for it. Desk workers don't need weapons because they don't do field work.
Emily: WhAteVeR💅🏻💅🏻
Derek: ^^ SHE WAS LIKE TWISTING THE THING TO TAKE THE LOCK OFF AND RUNNING AT ME FULL SPEED IVE NEVER BEEN MORE SCARED IN MY LIFE 😱😱😱 WHERSS THE "PISSING MY PANTS" EMOJI WHEN I NEED IT FUCK
Y/n: it's funny I'm so sorry 😭😭😭
Hotch: Okay to be fair if you were doing it to inappropriate then I'd justify it, that's probably what she assumed
Emily: LMAO TOO BAD SHE DIDNT ACTUALLY GET THE CHANCE TO PEPPERSPRAY HIM
Emily: shes asking where you went lol
Derek: DAWG?????? I DONT WANNA RISK BEING BLIND FUCK THAT TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED ACTUALLY PLEASE 😧😭😭😭
Hotch: is that her banging on my office door??
Emily: lol
Reid: This is so chaotic, I need a nap.
JJ: me too tbh
Derek: 🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️🏃🏾♂️ me about to jump put this window
Hotch: oh Lord please do not jump out the window. You have a lot to live for
Rossi: like pasta!
Derek: That's it I'm jumping 😵😵