Dear Me,
I've spent the last (almost) 15 years with you. I was with you through everything. But the funny thing is, I was never really there to help you.
It's obvious that I'm not the prettiest, skinniest, smartest, or the best at anything. And you and I have both put yourself down for that. Who I am is not who I want to be. I wish I was nicer, or tried harder in school, or anything else. But I'm not. I'm not proud of who I am. I'm not good enough. Not even for myself.
I dissapoint people and people dissapoint me.
But do you think I wanted to turn out this way? Absolutely not! I see every flaw and remember every mistake about myself. Even ones that are nonexistent. I am unbelievably insecure. And I don't know what to do about it.
I've tried loving myself for who I am, but something always messes it up. I'll look in the mirror and break down crying. I'll turn to the side and look at myself and see that my stomach goes out farther than any other part of my body. I'll see a couple in public and remember that no one's chasing after me; that I'm unwanted.
Why do I do this to myself? I don't want to and I don't know why this is happening.
I don't want to be like this. I want to be care-free and be able to pull my hair up without looking at it in the mirror. I want to be able to put on an outfit and not have to suck in my stomach. I want to be able to look in the mirror and be proud of how I look.
.That is how I want to be. But you are the only person who can make that happen. So please, Me, help yourself become a better person. Not just to the people around me, but to yourself as well.
Love,
You