*21 Years Ago*
Cas was in the garage with Bobby, not really doing much. He sat on his usual stool by the work bench handing Bobby any tools or equipment he asked for while he waited for Dean, Lee and Jo to come home from school.
The four of them were all going to study for their chemistry final together and Bobby had given his permission for them to form a study group in the garage as long as they stuck to studying and didn't start some kind of teenage party inside or something.
Cas had a free period at the end of the day and figured he'd head over to Bobby's and wait for the others instead of going home.
He didn't want to deal with his parents questioning him about why he was going out on a school night and having to make an excuse about studying with Gabriel at the library or something. He knew his brother would cover him for, but he wasn't in the mood to deal with his parents overprotectiveness at the moment.
"Damnit, I forgot to get the spray-paint out the truck." Bobby muttered, closing the hood of the car he was currently working on as Cas jumped off his stool, wanting something to do anyway.
"I'll go get it." He said, not waiting for the older man to responded as he walked around the corner and stepped out the garage.
He blinked at the sudden bright sun after being inside the dark garage for so long when suddenly something hard collided with stomach causing him to groan and double over.
Before he even knew what was happening a set of hands grabbed his shoulders and threw him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him.
He gasped for air, trying to process what the fuck just happened before a set of boots slammed into his stomach causing him to cry out in pain.
"Castiel!" Bobby's voice suddenly shouted.
Cas only just managed to lift his head to find Bobby rushing outside before he spotted Dean's father grabbing Bobby from behind.
John slammed Bobby's head against the side of the garage, knocking him unconscious before he turned his attention back to him.
Cas quickly tried to crawl away only to be stopped by one of Dean's cousins, blocking his path. He didn't even get a chance to say anything before one of them grabbed him from behind, pinning his arm behind his back painfully.
He heard Bobby groan to his left and Cas glanced in his direction as John walked back over to him and lifted the older man to his knees, but Cas didn't miss the deep gash on Bobby's forehead that was dripping with blood.
"Stay awake. You're gonna want to see this. Now, look at that." John instructed, grabbing Bobby's chin as he pointed towards something behind Cas.
The sound of a car roaring to life filled the air before the man who was holding Cas turned him around so he could watch.
It took his clouded brain a few moments to process what he was seeing before he realised that the other Winchester cousin was in John's truck and driving over Bobby's garden bed. He watched in horror as the truck skidded across the tulips, tearing them up, destroying them completely.
"There it goes! Whoo! Now, let me ask you something. Did you and your wife plant those tulips?" Cas heard John question.
He couldn't hear Bobby's response as Adam Winchester revved the engine and drove over to the next flower bed of tulips and began to destroy the flowers that Cas knew meant so much to Bobby.
"Stop this!" Cas shouted, thrashing in Christian's hold.
It was no use though, the other man outweighed him in muscle easily, but he wasn't about to just sit by and watch this happen.
"Shut up, fag!" John's voice boomed.
Christian suddenly let go of his arm only for a vice like grip to grab hold of it a moment later and he knew those hands belonged to John.
"You're that Novak boy hanging around my son, aren't you?" John questioned, twisting his arm further behind his back causing Cas to hiss in pain.
"In the words of a good friend. Bite me." Cas spat, but immediately regretted it.
A split second later, John snapped his arm on an angle that was not natural before the sound of bone crunching filled the air followed by Castiel's pained screams.
John wasted no time and lifted him up, pinning him against the garage door and the last thing Cas saw was a fist flying towards his face before everything turned black.
-
"You sure Bobby doesn't mind us staying the night to study? We could stay at my house." Jo suggested from the driver seat.
"Bobby is cool with it. Don't wanna bother your mother." Dean replied from where he was sitting in the backseat of her car, Lee sitting shotgun.
"You afraid of my mother?" She asked, glancing in the revision mirror at him with an amused smirk.
"I think so."
Lee nearly choked on his water as he laughed before Dean kicked the back of his seat.
"Easy, Winchester. You want me to spill water on these chemistry study cards?" Lee questioned, motioning towards the stack of paper in his lap with his water bottle.
"We both know you're terrified of Ellen too." Dean responded.
Lee looked over his shoulder at him, "I am not."
"Oh, that's bullshit." Jo commented causing Dean to burst out laughing as Lee flipped him off.
"I hate you both." He muttered, rolling his eyes.
"I'm literally carrying your fucking baby, you love me." Jo replied, resting her hand over her very pronounced baby bump before she turned down Bobby's driveway.
"I can't believe you're going to parents in a few weeks. Lee Webb is going to be a father, I still can't believe that." Dean said in astonishment.
"Hey, I'm going to be the best dad, just wait and see." Lee said confidently as he reached over and rubbed his hand over Jo's stomach.
"I know. You'll be a great-" Dean began to reply, but stopped when he glanced out the window and noticed the garden beds all ripped up.
Before Dean could really process what he was looking at Jo suddenly slammed on the breaks and that's when he saw Cas and Bobby lying on the ground outside the garage and his heart stopped.
Dean was out the car before Jo or Lee even removed their seatbelts and sprinted across the dirt driveway.
"Cas! Bobby!" He shouted dropping to his knees beside his boyfriend.
There was a deep bruises over the side of his face, but he didn't miss how Cas' arm was sprawled out beside him on an angle that made his stomach turn.
"Call 911! Go, now!" Dean ordered, glancing over his shoulder towards the young couple.
Jo ran towards the house to get a phone despite her heavily pregnant form as Lee knelt beside Bobby to check on him.
"Cas. Cas!" Dean pleated, his voice breaking at the end as he cupped the mans face with his hands. "Cas, sweetheart. Wake up, please."
Slowly, Cas' eyes fluttered opened, squinting at the light. His blue eyes glazed over as he stared up at him in confusion and Dean knew Cas definitely had a concussion as well as other injuries. God, where was that ambulance?
"J-John." Cas croaked out, his voice barely above a whisper as his eyes drifted shut again, but Dean heard him loud and clear and his blood ran cold.
His father did this.
His father came here and bashed his boyfriend and Bobby to get back at him? This was all his fault.
"Lee, stay with him. You help them." Dean instructed, hastily getting to his feet, passing Jo down the stairs as she helped Lee.
Dean stormed inside and made a beeline for his bedroom as he grabbed his rifle from his desk, quickly loading a bullet into the chamber before he rushed back outside.
He glanced down at Lee and Jo sitting by Cas and Bobby's unconscious bodies before he stormed towards Bobby's truck.
"Dean! Wait! What are you gonna do?" Lee voice suddenly questioned, but he kept walking towards the truck.
"Dean, don't do this!" Jo shouted desperately from somewhere behind him.
He just ignored them as he opened the drivers side door and climbed into the truck.
"Just talk to me! Give me the rifle." Lee instructed, opening up the passenger door and climbing in too, shutting the door behind himself.
Lee reached for the gun that was sitting on the bench seat between them, but Dean grabbed it first.
"Get out of the truck, Lee."
He glared at his best friend who shook his head as Jo reached the passenger side door, reaching for Lee through the open window.
"Don't do this. It's what he wants." Lee tried to say.
"Get out of the truck, Lee!" Dean yelled again, turning the keys in the ignition, bringing the old vehicle to life.
"Fine. If you guys are going, so am I." Jo declared, opening the passenger side door about to climb inside.
"No." Lee quickly said, putting his arm out to stop her.
"You're not coming, Jo." Dean added.
"Well I am. So go untwist your boxers and deal with it."
Dean stared at her for a moment unsure of what to do before he glanced back at Cas and Bobby still lying on the ground, unmoving.
"Honey, you're not coming." Lee suddenly said, his voice now softer as he climbed out the truck and grabbed her shoulders. "Think of our baby. You have to protect our baby, okay?"
Dean watched as his best friend leant down and kissed Jo's stomach before hugging her.
"Neither of you are coming." Dean stated, refusing to let his friends get put in harms way.
He quickly slammed the truck into gear about to take off before Lee quickly jumped back into the truck.
"Get out the truck." Dean shouted, slamming the steering wheel in frustration as his best friend shook his head.
"Lee, no." Jo sobbed as he turned his attention back towards his girlfriend.
"Stay with Cas and Bobby. Go to the hospital with them, we'll meet you there." Lee promised before he turned to Dean and nodded before Dean put his foot down.
He sped out of Bobby's property, barely looking for oncoming traffic as he took off down the road in the direction of his families property.
"Just think this through, man." Lee said from beside him as Dean's grip tightened around the wheel. "Calm down, this is crazy. Cas needs you. Bobby needs you. Your old man ain't worth it. Let's just go back."
Dean was barely listening. All he could think about was Cas and Bobby injured and unconscious because of his father, because of him.
"If you want to go, you can go." Dean said, glancing over at his best friend.
Lee shook his head, "hell no, man. You go, I go."
That was all Dean needed to hear before he put his foot down, driving way too fast to be consider safe, but Lee didn't seem to care.
A few minutes later, they pulled into the Winchester driveway, spotting his father and two cousins sitting on fold out chairs outside the house. They were smoking and drinking like usual, but Dean didn't miss the sheepish grin appearing on his father face when he realised it was him pulling up.
"Stay back, Lee." He instructed as the two of them climbed out the truck.
Dean sent his best friend a warning look and Lee just nodded, staying by the truck as Dean grabbed his rifle and began marching towards his father.
He raised the rifle once he was a few metres from his family, aiming the sights on his father causing his cousins to quickly sit up straight.
"Look at you, you're all dressed to kill. Is that what you are? You're a killer now? You're gonna kill all three of us?" John questioned, leaning back in his chair as he motioned towards Christian and Adam.
Dean could barely hear what the bastard was saying over the blood rushing in his ears as his finger hovered over the trigger.
"No. Just you." He growled, his grip tightening around the rifle.
The amount of times he had thought about doing this. He had thought about just ending it all, not even caring if he got sent to jail for it because if his father was dead, then it'd be worth it.
"Why don't you go on and do it then?"
John stood up from his chair and walked towards him until the barrel of the rifle was only inches away from his fathers chest.
"Put down the gun, Dean!" Lee shouted desperately from behind him.
"He will. Don't worry, kid. I know this one. He ain't no killer. You're not a killer, son. Here." His father said gently, lifting his hand as he grabbed end of his rifle and slowly lowered it. "You ain't nothing." John added and that was all it took before Dean slammed his free fist against the side of his fathers face catching him off guard as he staggered backwards.
"Hell no." Christian's voice shouted as he charged at Dean.
He easily dodged his attack and punched his older cousin in the face before Adam dragged Christian away, not wanting to get in the middle of this.
Dean turned his attention back to his father who was on his hands and knees, holding his bloodied nose.
"Get up!" Dean shouted.
He glanced down at his rifle that had been knocked from his hands during the fight to find it only a few feet from him.
"I gotta tell you. I didn't see that coming." His father began to say before he grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it at Dean's face causing him to quickly cover his eyes before John sprung up and tackled him to the ground.
He could hear his cousins cheering his father on as John pinned him to the ground on his back and slammed his fist against the side of Dean's face, but Dean just took the hit, not even bothering to try and block it.
The familiar sensation of knuckles hitting his cheek followed by sudden pain was almost calming before he punched his father in the nose again, sending the older man tumbling off him.
Without hesitation, Dean quickly got up, pinning his father on his back like he was doing only moments earlier before he began to punch him in the face. Hit, after hit, after hit, before he grabbed his fathers throat with both hands and squeezed, hard.
"Dean, that's enough! You're gonna kill him. Come on!" Lee voice shouted in the distance, but Dean didn't hear him over his heart pounding in his chest as he stared down at his father beneath him.
Suddenly, a set of hands grabbed him and he glanced over his shoulder to find Lee staring at him desperately and Dean knew he had made his point as he let his friend pull him away.
The two of them began walking back to the truck, Lee with his arm slung over his shoulder to keep him from trying anything else as his friend glanced back behind them, but Lee's body suddenly turned tense and Dean knew something was wrong.
He quickly spun around, his eyes widening in fear when he saw his father crawling towards his still loaded rifle that was lying on the ground.
Shit.
In an instant, Dean was out of Lee's arm as he sprinted towards his father, diving for his rifle just as his father got a hand to it.
Dean tried yanking the gun out his fathers grip, but he wouldn't let go as the two of them rolled around in the dirt, trying to get control of it, but neither of them wanted to let go of the weapon.
Somehow his father managed to get on top of him, his knee digging into Dean's ribcage as he began to tilt the rifle towards Dean's head.
He desperately tried to hold the weapon away from his face, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle.
His father had the upper hand and he knew he couldn't hold the rifle away from his face forever, especially not when his father was using his whole-body weight to push the weapon down towards him.
Out of nowhere, his father pulled the trigger.
Dean only just managing to keep the barrel off him as the bullet flew straight past his face and suddenly he couldn't hear anything over the ringing in his ears.
The blast of the rifle momentarily deafening him as he groaned before his hearing slowly started to come back.
"Uh... Dean?"
It took his brain a moment to process the words, the ringing in his ears still overwhelming, but he knew Lee had said something.
He tilted his head in his best friends direction and his stomach dropped.
Lee was standing behind him, bright crimson blood starting to seep through his chest before he collapsed to the ground.
"Lee. Lee!" Dean shouted, pushing his father off him as he hastily got to his feet and sprinted towards his friend, dropping to his knees beside him.
"Lee, no, no. Look at me, look at me." Dean begged, his hands grabbing his face as he took in the bullet wound on his chest.
Quickly, Dean covered the bloodied wound with his hand, trying to slow the bleeding, but it was too late.
Lee wasn't breathing anymore.
His best friend was dead.
-
"Lee had just started to get his life together. He was gonna be a dad. Bobby, he was gonna be such a good dad. He's the first friend I ever had, he was like family." Dean whimpered, lowering his head as he sat at a small table in a interrogation room, wearing one of Cas' suits while his hands were handcuffed to the table, waiting for trial.
"Look at me, son. I said look at me." Bobby instructed and Dean reluctantly raised his head and looked over at Bobby.
The older man looked tired as he stared at Dean, a large white bandage covering the cut on his forehead that Dean knew had stitches underneath.
He hadn't seen Cas since it happened, but Bobby had said that he was fine. A bit bruised and had a cast on his left arm, but other than that, he was fine.
"The DA doesn't want you. They want John. If you help them, then they will help you." Bobby started to explain, which was exactly what his lawyer was saying earlier, but he was still trying to process what happened.
"I killed him, Bobby. I deserve to be here." Dean mumbled, lowering his head as he tried to stop the tears from welling up in his eyes.
He killed Lee.
His father might have pulled the trigger, but it was his fault. Lee Webb was dead because of him. Jo has to raise a baby on her own because of him. It's all because of him.
"Yeah, you showed up there with a loaded rifle and... you're gonna have to do some time for that. But, son, there is a reason that you are here. You have a life to live and you're gonna fight back and you're gonna keep fighting back." Bobby said, his voice turning shaky as he leant forward and rested his hands on top of Dean's that were still chained to the table.
"'Cause no matter what you think, you are not just your father's son. Dean, you are not like them other boys. You're a good kid and you're my boy." Bobby continued, his voice breaking at the end and that was all it took before the tears Dean had been trying so hard to fight back, began to pour down his cheeks as he dropped his head on top of Bobby's hands and cried. "You hear me?" Bobby questioned, trying to keep his voice strong.
"Yes, sir." Dean whispered, lifting his head.
He bit his quivering lip, trying to stop himself from crying as he sat up straight and looked over at Bobby who's eyes were laced with tears and he nodded.
-
Dean ended up doing what Bobby and his lawyer had told him to, by telling the truth about what happened and giving the DA dirt on his father.
It reduced his sentence, but he was still stuck in jail for eight years, maybe a couple years less if he behaved.
Bobby had been with him the entire time, supporting him from the side-lines and had told him how much Cas had wanted to be there during all the court hearings and stuff, but Cas' parents weren't letting him out the house and Dean didn't blame them.
However, after the sentence, Cas had managed to sneak out a couple of times with Gabriel's help and visited him.
Dean didn't have much to do inside his prison cell other than think and he had been doing that a lot lately. Thinking about Cas. He couldn't stop thinking about Cas and how Cas was willing to wait for him to get out of jail, but that was eight years away.
He couldn't let Cas put his life on hold for him, he couldn't let Cas waste his life like that. But, how was he meant to tell Cas that? He wouldn't listen, Dean knew that, he was as stubborn as he was and he loved, but hated that about him.
"Winchester, you got a visitor." The prison guard suddenly declared, tapping his baton against the bars of his cell.
Dean immediately jumped off from the top bunk bed, glancing over at his cellmate, Ketch.
He didn't seem like a bad guy as far as Dean could tell. Said he was in here for killing a man who raped and bashed his wife, of course he could be lying, but Ketch hadn't bothered him, so it was fine.
Dean followed the prison guard down the hallways, hoping that it was Bobby visiting him and not Cas. He needed time to figure out what to say to his boyfriend. He wasn't ready yet.
But, as he walked into the small visiting room, where lines of booths with telephones sat, he spotted Cas sitting down on the other side of the far booth, holding the telephone to his ear as he waited patiently.
Damnit.
"Hey." Dean said, sitting down opposite Cas as he grabbed the other phone and looked at Cas through the glass window between them.
The bruises along Cas' face had finally healed, but the white cast over Cas' left arm was still a constant reminder of that day, but he knew the cast would be off in a couple of weeks which was a relief.
"Hey. I bought you some books and things. You just let me know if I need to bring anything else for you and I'll bring it next time, alright?" Cas asked, smiling sadly at him and Dean sighed, running his fingers through his hair as he shook his head.
"There can't be a next time."
"What do you mean?" Cas asked, tilting his head in confusion.
Dean looked down for a moment, composing himself before he looked back at Cas.
"I got eight years. I mean, it's what, six before I'm even eligible for parole?"
"I'll wait." Cas insisted, but Dean shook his head.
"No. No, I can't let you do that."
"You don't get to make that choice." Cas argued and Dean sighed, hating himself for doing this.
"If this was the last time you're gonna see me... what would you say?" Dean asked, feeling tears starting to rise in his eyes, but he fought them back.
This was the last place he needed to cry in.
"Please don't do this."
Dean could see Cas' eyes were now laced with tears too which just made Dean's eyes burn even more.
"I'd say thank you." Dean began to say before Cas cut him off.
"I'm not walking away."
"I'd say I love you." He continued, taking a deep breath as he stared into Cas' pleading eyes. "I always will."
"Dean, please don't do this. Please. I love you." Cas begged and Dean smiled sadly as he lowered the telephone from his ear.
With shaky hands, he hung it up on the hook beside him before he looked back at Cas who now had tears streaming down his cheeks as he frantically shook his head.
Dean stared him for a few seconds mouthing 'I love you' knowing Cas couldn't hear him without the phone before he stood up from the chair and walked off.