The Best Of Me

Chapter- 12

"Don't." Jo quickly said, holding her hand up towards him. "I know what you're gonna say, Dean. It wasn't your fault."

Of course, it was his fault. Lee's death was on him and there was no way anyone could tell him otherwise.

"It was. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Dean apologised, his voice barely a whisper.

He wasn't sure if Jo heard it or not before she suddenly took a step towards him and lifted her hand, resting it on his shoulder.

"You told him to get out of the truck. We both did. It's not your fault. It wasn't on you." She responded, but Dean shook his head.

"No, but I didn't want to do it alone." Dean admitted.

He should've tried harder to get Lee to stay, he should've done more. Now, his best friend was dead and Jo had to raise a baby alone.

"The right thing would've been to send his ass right back to Bobby's instead of bringing him with me to confront John."

Jo smiled at him, "like to have seen you try."

Dean just shook his head, wondering why Jo was even talking to him, let alone trying to make him smile. He got her boyfriend killed. The father of her child is dead because of him... how could she forgive him for that?

"You carry all kinds of crap you don't have to, Dean."

"You should be able to see that I am 90% crap." He responded as he looked back at her. "And we both know it."

"No." Jo quickly argued, shaking her head. "You're not. You deserve better."

"No, you did. You deserved better, Jo."

Jo didn't say anything for a moment and Dean refused to look her as he stared down at Lee's grave.

Seriously, how could she just forgive him for that? He couldn't even forgive himself.

"Jo-"

"It wasn't your fault. Please forgive yourself, Dean." She whispered, but he still refused to look at her.

Cas had said the same thing.

He had asked Dean to forgive himself, but how does someone who's hated himself for so long and blamed the himself for something over 20 years, just move on from that? How could he forgive himself for that? How?

"It's just something that lives in my head, you know? I play it over and over..." Dean trailed off as he stared at the ground.

"Look at me. Look at me. Dean, you didn't kill him. They killed him... and now it's my son." Jo said causing Dean's head to snap back up at her. "John and your cousins started coming around when Lee Jr was about 14. They took him out, eased him in. You know, girls, cars, booze and..."

"So he's been hanging around out there?"

"All the time. He didn't get in any real trouble until your father took him under his wing. And now he's running errands for them and making deliveries. He's a good kid. He's not like them. He's like his dad." Jo explained, her voice breaking at the end and Dean pulled her into a hug.

"I'll deal with it. You still living at Ellen's?" He asked a few seconds later as he pulled away and Jo nodded, confusion forming on her face. "I'll bring him back and make sure they stay away from him."

-

After he left the cemetery, Dean drove straight to his families old property. Despite promising himself that he would never go back.

Lee Jr deserved better than his shitty family. He didn't need to get in the middle of his fathers shit and Lee Webb sure as hell wouldn't want that for his son either.