"Nice work, Lila. Keep it up."
I squint one eye, getting incredibly closer to my target as I pull the trigger once more, begging for mercy and hoping more than anything that it just hits it.
Of course, this isn't the case as it is closer than my last shot, but still not where I need it to be. And of course, I'm still on the bullseye.
"You'll get there, LJ," Major Hood says to me comfortingly, as if seeing the defeat course through me.
"I hate this damn thing," I say, gesturing towards the gun as I want nothing more than to chuck it across the room.
"Yeah, well you need to learn to use the damn thing or you're screwed," Major Hood says, pointing out the obvious as I groan and throw my head back, taking it upon myself to initiate a break even though I'm far from deserving of one.
I place the gun down, grabbing a quick seat and a sip of water as I'm overwhelmed already. We've been in here for almost an hour and my lack of progress is nothing short of frustrating.
"You seem distracted," Major Hood says, taking the seat beside me as he flips it over so the back of the chair is facing me and rests his elbows on top of the chair, lacing his hands that hang off together.
I shrug my shoulders considering that is absolutely the case but I'd never in a million years admit that to him. His friend Luke is the only thing captivating my thoughts right now as all I can think about is what happened last night and the way he made me feel.
"Major Ho-"
"You know you can call me Calum, right?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at me with a smirk on his lips. I raise my own eyebrows, surprised by his words as I didn't know he was comfortable with me using his real name. "Just not around anyone but you don't need to call me Major Hood."
Calum.
That's going to feel weird leaving my lips.
Smiling, I start again, "Well, Calum, I was just going to say that it's impossible to focus on something when you know you're no good at it. My thoughts are just taunting me as they remind me that I'm a failure."
Calum shoots me an incredulous look, as if shocked by my words to describe myself. My own words don't surprise me as my lack of abilities behind a gun really is shooting me down and making me feel useless.
"We'll get you there, LJ," he promises. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
We'll get you there.
I feel like I've heard this quote a million times but have yet to 'get there'. It leaves me wondering just how long this is going to take. Am I actually going to get there?
"I knew I hated guns for a reason," I say, speaking of my normal life where I always was one to hate guns.
They're senseless and the only purpose of them is to kill. I never understood why they were ever allowed in an environment that isn't war.
"This is all new to you, it'd be weird if you were really good at it," Calum says.
"But I want to be good."
"And you will be," he assures, standing from his chair in order to offer me a hand. I take it, allowing him to tug me into a standing position as he takes the gun from the table I had set it down on. "I was nowhere near a pro when I first started shooting."
My eyebrows raise, intrigued to hear more as it's nice to hear of someone who was once in a similar position as myself.
"I was a little bit better than you but hardly," he says, moving the gun from hand to hand. "I just practiced every day and didn't allow myself to become frustrated. The second you become frustrated is the second you give up."
Calum turns away from me, aligning himself with the shooting position and aiming his gun towards the easy target. I watch him begin shooting, showing incredible expertise as I try to pick up on anything that could help me out.
How can this be so hard?
His shoulders are broad and they assert dominance as his stance is nothing short of incredible. It's clear that he's an absolute expert as he doesn't show any signs of weakness. Instead, making this look nothing short of easy.
I know I look like the biggest idiot when I attempt to do the same.
Instead, I showcase nothing but insecurity and weakness as the gun overpowers me completely and quite frankly, terrifies me. Then again, I'm assuming that's the first big step I need to take; letting go of my fear of the gun.
And I thought the pole was going to be my biggest problem here.
Calum finishes off the bullets, turning to me in order to blow air at the tip of his gun and say, "Bada bing, bada boom."
"Show off," I decide to tease.
Calum just shoots me a cheeky smile, a wink following in response as I roll my eyes, preparing for him to make me line up once more.
"Come on, I'll help," he says, gesturing for me to come next to him.
I follow him regardless of the fact that Luke already tried helping me in this way and unfortunately, it didn't stick with me. Instead, it seemed to escape my mind entirely as he managed to distract me a lot more than he managed to help me.
Reluctantly, I approach him and watch as he nods towards the spot that I always stand on. As a result, I abide by his silent request and spread my feet apart in a parallel fashion.
Calum steps behind me, grabbing onto my wrist and holding it out in front of me.
"It's kind of fun, actually," Calum says casually, his grip tightening around my fingers that holds onto the gun. "Especially when you're not actually shooting someone. You can just do a straight power hour and shoot like a mad man."
I cringe at his choice of words as there have been many circumstances where real assholes held onto a gun like this and actually went out and shot like a mad man. Due to that, I certainly wouldn't want to pretend to put myself in their shoes.
"When you put it that way..." I say sarcastically.
Calum just laughs, using his other hand to hold over my fingers as well in order to give me a powerful stance.
"Just take a deep breath, James," he says, his chest pressing to my back.
I do as he says, keeping my gaze on the target as I straighten out my posture and prepare for another failed attempt at this daunting task.
"You've got to make sure you keep a firm grip on this or else it's not going to shoot straight. The second you loosen your grip is the second your alignment is fucked up."
I nod, knowing I need to work on this as my fear tends to take over me, causing me to have a weak and shaky grip. I'm certain that this is what's preventing me from being successful but I don't know how to move past this prodding fear of guns that I have.
"Now on the count of three, I want you to shoot, alright?"
This, of course, sends a shiver up my spine as I'm reminded of the last time someone told me they were going to count to three. As a result, I'm nowhere near the correct mindset as I feel my head getting hazy because of the memory I've tried so hard to rid myself of today.
"One..."
Jesus, fuck.
"Two..."
Is he doing this on purpose? He has to know that these words are an instant trigger and I'm sure it's obvious in the way that I fix my footing, attempting to shake myself of the thoughts and memories hounding in my head right now.
Just as he's about to say the third and final number, he's instead interrupted by a different male voice-- one that's much more familiar.
"Three."
Due to the familiarity of the scenario and the words that sound just as deep and dark as they did last night, I jump in Calum's grip, immediately dropping the gun as a loud gasp leaves my lips.
"Jesus, Lila," Calum says right away, my heart racing at a million miles an hour. "The safety lock isn't on, what are you trying to do? Get me killed?"
"I-I-" I start, turning my head, catching sight of a smirking Luke who leans against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest in satisfaction as he is just as familiar as myself of the last time someone counted down for me.
"Yeah, what the hell, Lila?" Luke asks, stepping into the room further as only him and I would know the message behind his words. "Did you not get any sleep last night or something?"
My eyes narrow subtly, knowing he's testing me as he's the reason I reacted in such a dramatic way. He saw that coming and now he's relishing in every second of it.
"I just was startled," I answer. "Not exactly the best idea to sneak up on someone who has a gun in their hand."
"Watch your mouth, James," Luke says, as I know he's getting incredible enjoyment out of this.
He has the upper hand and he knows it.
I shut my mouth, deciding to bite my tongue as I don't want anything to slip. Especially at the fact that Calum counting down just as Luke had done before I reached my orgasm affected me in a way that I wish I could make sense of.
"What's up your ass?" Calum asks jokingly, clearly not minding to have a playful attitude with his friend while I'm in the room.
"I don't want my soldiers dropping a fully loaded, unlocked gun just because they're startled."
"Yeah, that actually totally could've gotten one of us killed, LJ," Calum says to me, bending over to pick up the gun and switch it into it's locked position.
"He's lucky I didn't turn around in surprise and have it pointed at him," I say mostly to myself, not intending for anyone to hear it.
"Excuse me?" Luke is quick to ask, a small hint of amusement in his voice that I don't miss.
I'm sure to Calum, he doesn't recognize this in the slightest.
"Nothing, sir," I say, knowing that our facade is important in front of anyone.
Even if I have a good relationship with Calum, I know he needs to be just as oblivious as everyone else when it comes to Luke and I. Especially as he's the Major of this army, I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate the idea of his Lieutenant messing around with one of their soldiers.
Luke doesn't say anything else, only walking further into the room as he eyes me in a suspicious manner. I don't meet his gaze, knowing it's going to make me weak in the knees if I do. Mostly because the only thing I'll be able to think of is his hand having covered my mouth in order to keep me quiet as I screamed his name in absolute pleasure last night.
"How's she doing?" Luke asks, seeming to have finished his morning sessions as he came and visited me while we're nearing the end of ours.
"Better than yesterday," Calum says, in an attempt to show I'm improving but also nowhere near a master at this.
Luke nods his head, his eyes scanning my body once in a way that comes off as intimidating but nothing short of tempting to me.
God, how I wish I could just scream out 'cherry' right now. After all, that's the word we settled on when we desperately need one another regardless of the situation we're in.
However, I absolutely can not wait to use it to my advantage.
I wish I was ballsy enough to test him right now and use it.
"Which is why I came," Luke says, grabbing my attention. "I want to spend some time with Lila behind the gun. Especially as I'm done with my own lessons, it'll give you a break."
Calum's eyebrows shoot up in amusement, as if not used to the idea of a break. I only feel excitement course through me at the thought of having some alone time with Luke. Even though I need to focus and actually learn, I could never deny some alone time between the two of us.
"Really?"
"Yup," Luke says, picking up a lone gun that's off to the side. "Maybe step into Ashton's workouts and torture them a bit."
A smirk crosses Luke's lips as it's no secret that they never found out who had stripped me from my bed and dragged me down to the waterfront. As a result, they just make sure to be extra strenuous on the men when they least expect it.
On top of it, they absolutely never take it easy on them.
I think they accepted that they'll never find out who did what they did that night. As a result, the only thing they can really do is make everyone's life hell.
"Now we're talking," Calum says. "There's nothing I love more than making a grown man cry."
Luke snorts, clearly finding it amusing as well as I don't doubt that they give these guys hell. After all, I feel as if they give me hell and I'm not even a part of the separate workouts.
"Good luck, LJ," Calum says to me, sending a salute in my direction as he gathers his things. "Take it easy on her, Hemmo... she's trying."
My heart quite literally beams at Calum's words as they're nothing short of sweet. Considering he has no idea that Luke doesn't torture me like he used to, I'm thankful for his desire to look out for me.
"Yeah, yeah," Luke says, waving him off. "Don't tell me what to do."
Calum shoots me a look, as if wishing me good luck and I just wave goodbye to him, a small laugh leaving my lips. If only he knew that luck is the last thing I need right now.
We both wait until he exits the room completely, even giving it a few minutes before greeting one another properly.
It's as if our eyes instantly find out another's and I don't miss the look in Luke's eyes that I don't doubt is any less hungry than my own.
He immediately starts walking towards me, me being frozen in place as I anticipate him being only a few steps away from me.
"I've been waiting to get you to myself all day."
"What took you so long?" I ask, outstretching my arms in order to tug him in for a hug.
Luckily, he gets the hint, immediately wrapping his arms around my lower back and lifting me from the ground for a moment. I squeal as a result, Luke only placing me back down in order to place a kiss on my lips.
"Oh you know," he says, once again connecting our lips for a moment. "I've got hundreds of soldiers that I need to prepare for war or something like that..."
I don't know whether the proper response to this is to laugh or apologize or agree, either way I decide to do neither as I kiss his lips for a final time before pulling away from his arms.
"I didn't appreciate your entrance," I say, backing away from him as I raise my eyebrows.
Luke smirks, a knowing look in his eyes as he asks, "Which one?"
I tilt my head at him disapprovingly regardless of the fact that his words make me blush and there's absolutely no hiding that.
"Is that why you came here?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. "To remind me of something that's already been distracting me all day?"
Luke puts his hands up defensively, even though his smile is still prominent on his lips. I can tell he's proud to hear this and I don't blame him as his actions were nothing short of mind blowing last night.
"No, I came because I missed you."
I feel my inside warm up at this as I believe it to be true considering Luke probably has a million other things that he could attend to right now. Instead, here he is with me, cutting my lesson short with Calum in order to step in.
After all, once we got back to our cabin, we passed out pretty quickly in Luke's bed. We were wrapped in one another's arms entirely and hardly took a second to pass out. It was clear that we were both worn out from the long night and wanted sleep to consume us.
As a result, I almost woke up late for my session with Calum today. In fact, Luke and I both woke up frantically and had to scram out of the cabin in order to get to our sessions in time. We barely had time to get a word out to one another.
This is our first time really being around each other and lively after what had happened down by the waterfront. And because of this, I can't help but feel nervous around him for the first time in a while.
"Mhm," I tease, even though I'm sure this is the case.
Luke's smirk continues to reside on his lips as he looks at my lips for a moment before finding my eyes once more. His hands reach out to me, placing them on my hips as he doesn't look away from my eyes for a second.
"I had a good time last night."
"I'd say the same but I think that's obvious," I say considering he had me melting against him last night and I didn't try to hide that in the slightest.
Luke lets out a genuine laugh, seeming to find this humorous as I couldn't convince him that I didn't have a good time even if I wanted to.
"Been distracting you all day, huh?" he asks, nothing short of amused.
"Yes," I say, shooting him a reprimanding look. "How am I supposed to focus on shooting a gun when all I can focus on is you?"
Luke squeezes my lips, his amusement incredibly obvious as I certainly am hyping him up, as he deserves. However, I'd like to think that I was on his mind just as much considering he came all the way here to end my session.
"Let me try to help," is all he says, letting go of my waist and stepping away from me.
"With what?" I mutter mostly to myself considering shooting a gun isn't the only issue I'm having right now.
Luckily, Luke is the more sane one between the two of us as he just smirks at me, looking over his shoulder for a brief moment before walking up to the station where the targets are lined up.
Unlike Calum, he doesn't let me settle for the easy target and instead, begins switching to the next phase which causes my eyes to widen as I'm nowhere near completing this one.
"Luke, this is so unrealisti-"
"Come on, come here," he says, gesturing me over, nonetheless.
I practically groan in response, prepared for the disbelief to come from Luke as he'll be so astonished to see how little I've progressed since the last time we were in here.
I abide regardless, standing beside him as he hands me off the gun once more.
"Let me see you get into position," he says, standing beside me in order to watch me carefully.
I do what he says, finding my stance and holding the gun out in front of me, fearing coursing through me immediately. God, I wish I could express just how much I hate this damn thing.
"Stand up straight, Lila," Luke says, noticing the slight hunch to my back that reeks of fear. "Once you find your confidence in your stance, you're going to lean forward slightly but still keeping that powerful position."
I listen to his words, doing just that as I eye the terrifying new target that consists of circles sporadically scattered against the wall, that I have no doubt will be my targets. The difference is, this isn't a bullseye. I don't have the same leeway as I did before.
"Good," Luke informs. "Now as always, your dominant hand should be on top, controlling ninety-five percent of the grip, whereas your opposite hand will provide a base. This will cover the last five percent and help in anyway that your dominant hand can't."
I find my grip, tightening it right below the neck of the gun, letting out a few soft breaths as I try to control my thoughts and rid myself of the taunting fear I have of this weapon.
"There's a crevice right at the top of the gun and that's where you want to align the target with," Luke says, jutting his finger towards it, it becoming clear to me as Calum had tried to explain this to me. I unfortunately didn't hear him correctly and was too afraid to ask again so I never knew if the crevice should be aligned above or below the target. "You should look right through it and see the target."
Ah, well that explains that.
"And you should have an absolute clear and focused mind," Luke finishes. "If you're distracted and your minds everywhere, you're not going to have an accurate shot. I understand that once you're out there and you're worried for your life, it won't be as easy clearing your mind and putting yourself in the right headspace but you need to work on filtrating your mind with something that'll put you on track while this weapon is in your hand."
I wait for him to elaborate as I don't exactly know how to tell him that the only thoughts that pound in my head are ones of horror whenever I am around this weapon.
"For example," Luke says, me not turning my head in the slightest and instead, keeping my stance where it is and keeping my gaze on the target. "When I'm practicing for combat or even when I'm out there, I run through the names of the people who I love that they have hurt. I focus entirely on all the people that have suffered at their expense so I feel nothing but anger and determination which drives my desire to have a perfect shot."
I can understand this as I don't doubt it sparks an anger in him unlike any other. As he always tells me, I need to find my anger and I don't doubt this is the perfect way to do this.
"You can't think about what guns mean outside of combat, Lila," Luke says, seeming to read my mind. "You have to think about what they mean in combat and how they're meant to protect the people you care about and rid the people who have caused pain in your life, in Declan's life, in all of our lives. They want you dead and the only way to survive out there is getting rid of all the people who have no other goal in mind other than to kill you. They don't care about your life, Lila."
I feel my jaw clench, reflecting on them having no care for Declan and how they had tried to kill him. Not only that, but they had a goal in mind to kill Luke as well and that's enough to make me extra heated.
I don't want a single person out there harming him. We're supposed to make it out of there together.
"These things are scary, but they're not as scary as the people you're going to come in contact with out there, Lil-"
Before he can finish his sentence, I shoot without even thinking, watching the bullet whizz in front of me, immediately landing on a target as I shock myself completely.
I almost gasp in surprise and relish in the moment but Luke has other plans as he says, "Again."
Turning my shoulders slightly, I aim for a ring on the other side, once again sending a bullet through it as my heart begins to rush of adrenaline, not even believing this as I fight back a smile that threatens to form on my lips.
"Again!"
Turning to the other side once more, I shoot again, deciding to take it upon myself to shoot the targets as quickly and as accurately as I can. Luke steps aside, allowing me the full control as I shoot in a way I never thought I'd be able to.
In fact, I even take Luke's advice as I run through the names of the people that I care about in my head, knowing that I'm protecting them by firing each one of these bullets.
Declan. Luke. Ashton. Michael. Calum. My mom. My dad. Sami. Declan. Luke. Ashton. Michael. Calum. My mom. My dad. Sami. Declan. Luke. Ashton. Michael. Calum. My mom. My dad. Sami.
I keep shooting, my breathing heavy as I imagine any of them dying at the expense of one of these targets, regardless of the fact that they're nothing but marks in the wall. However, all I can think about are Damien and Carter and how they want to come for everyone that I care about.
Not only are they out to get all of them, but they made it insanely clear that they are without a doubt coming after me. I have no choice but to find trust in this weapon and depend on it as I won't make it a second out there, otherwise.
As a result, I go crazy with the lethal weapon.
In fact, I don't even stop shooting until my gun runs out of bullets, quickly bringing me back to reality. Luke seems to notice this as he grabs onto my arm, lowering the weapon as my breathing remains heavy and inconsistent as I had such a rush take over me that I didn't even know I had in me.
I can't believe that I actually managed that. How could I have gone from intense shaking while holding this weapon to finding such a strong desire to rid it of every bullet as I imagined no one but Damien and Carter on the other side.
Luke leaves me at my spot, walking up to the wall in order to observe my shots. I stay where I am, my chest heaving up and down as my vision is practically foggy as I come down from that invasive feeling that sparked an anger in me like no other.
Luke's fingers graze the wall, as if checking the intensity of each shot and it isn't long before he says, "Nice work, James."
I raise my eyebrows, prepared to hear how I did as he continues his observational trek.
"You got some really good shots," he says, his tone impressed as a smile stretches across my lips. "You definitely missed some but that's expected, either way, you definitely made some as well."
I throw my head back, overjoyed to hear this as I'm just glad I was able to do something right while in this room. Hopefully, this only means I'll progress from here as I can continue to remind myself of everything Luke told me, with or without his presence.
"Either way," he says, holding a hand up to me in a high-five motion. "I'm impressed. There are some real clean shots."
I smile ear to ear, high-fiving him with joy as I feel proud of myself. This was obviously something that was really frustrating to me so to know I finally made a massive amount of progress is the most relieving feeling.
"Should I reload?" I ask, turning my head in order to look over towards the reload station.
Luke instead grabs onto my wrists, removing the gun from my grip in order to hold one hand of mine in his and keep the other hanging by his side.
"Or," he starts. "We can take a quick break."
Knowing what his intentions are, my smile fades into a smirk as I ask, "How quick are we thinking?"
Luke shrugs, his eyes drifting off towards the door as he shoves the gun into his back pocket, clearly being unbothered as the gun isn't loaded.
"I guess we'll decide when we get there," he says, surprising me as I hadn't taken him as one to allow us to get easily distracted.
Nonetheless, I definitely don't fight against it as he attaches our lips, my shoulders instantly relaxing as I'm reminded of the last time we interacted like this.
The thought alone is enough to make butterflies course through me as I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling our bodies closer to one another as I massage his lips with my own.
God, I missed this feeling.
Luke's hands meet at my back, quickly rubbing along it in order to grip onto my waist and bring my body closer to his. As a result, I lightly scratch the back of his neck, wanting to increase the small amount of pleasure in any way I can.
Luke begins walking us backwards, keeping a firm grip on me in order to direct the way as he lets go of me once more, stretching his arm behind him in a seeming attempt to find a surface for us to sit on.
I bite back a laugh, imagining the sight as I'm sure it's nothing short of amusing.
However, it isn't long before he succeeds, as he takes a seat on the chairs that Calum and I had been sitting on not too long ago, myself following as I sit on top of his lap, immediately making myself comfortable.
Luke removes his lips from mine in order to attach them to my neck, placing gentle kisses all over as his nose lets out small bursts of air from his breathing.
"Fuck, Lila... I missed you so much."
A stupid smile stretches on my lips, loving these words as my fingers find their way to his curls, dragging through them softly as I tilt my head in the opposite direction of his lips.
"What are the odds of getting you as my permanent personal trainer?"
Luke chuckles against my neck as we both know this is definitely unlikely. As much as the idea is tempting, I'm not the only person out here and we both know that.
"You'd like that, huh?" he hums against my neck, squeezing my waist as he tugs me further against him.
We need to stop before I need more.
Nonetheless, I go against my greater judgement and nod my head as I bite on my bottom lip. I shouldn't be getting worked up already, we just started kissing and now every part of me is craving more of him.
"How come?" he asks, his kisses dipping lower. "So we have more time to do this?"
"Luke..." I can't even refrain from moaning as my lips part accordingly.
"Yes?" his lips trail up once more, as I feel the pleasure building up on his behalf below me, making it that much harder to keep my cool at this point.
"Cherr-"
I barely manage to get the code word out before our attention is interrupted by the door to the room being slammed open as I don't even have time to tear my body from Luke's. Terror courses through every inch of me as I feel frozen in my spot.
Luke seems equally as surprised as he doesn't push me off or attempt to get me off of him, instead, turning his head to look over as well as I can practically feel his heart drop.
"I knew it!"
a/n
woaaahh this felt so weird to write knowing luke is an engaged man
wow anyone else HURTIN? like im so happy for him and i love sierra to death but im just like wow im old hes old we're all old we're all growing up and doing adult things and it's not the old days where everything was so simple and not real and young and wow idk what im saying
so yes what im saying is im BEYOND myself happy for the two of them i love their love so much and im so happy he found her and idek if id be happy if he married anyone else bc shes the definition of perfect in every form but its definitely a scary reality check
also i felt weird writing this but i keep reminding myself that this isnt luke luke all it is is his face and certain parts of his life represented so i guess i can sleep in peace? hopefully?
another also, so many people reached out ab last chap and were like WOAH this smut is so different from ur normal & that's honestly bc I've been reading a lot on here and picking up on some things and smut here on out will definitely be more intense/descriptive as I feel like a lot of stories are switching into that gear nowadays anyway?? or am I wrong??
lmk if its something ur not cool with and you'd like me to tone it down a bit lmao
wow this was a long a/n
anyway thank you for reading and yay for a quick update! i hope u guys liked! who do you think it was that spotted them?
ALSO, i have another luke story up called safeguard that's a fun one and i think you'd all like it! id love for you to give it a read and lmk your thoughts!
but that's it for now, this is a long boy a/n so hope you all are well. i appreciate and love you all and will see you soon!