Vic
I turned the corner and walked down the sidewalk until I could hear light footsteps following. I turned and saw Mackenzie standing there looking at me with concerned expression.
"I can't believe I'm here.... again!" I exclaimed and she took a step towards me and I stepped away. I was pissed, I was hurt, I was PISSED.
"Vic-" I heard his voice call as he rounded the corner and stopped when he saw the two of us. Mackenzie looked to me and I nodded at her and she walked away, leaving Harry and I alone.
"Don't, I simply do not care Harry. I cannot believe you got me right back to this position, again." I spat at him, the courage from the liquor sat heavy on my tongue.
"Look at yourself right now, standing outside yelling at me for...what? Getting drunk and kissing a girl? We are not toget-"
"Do not. Do not finish that sentence because I WILL start yelling. No, we weren't together, but Harry, we WERE. You said over and over we were friends and then kept coming back for....more. I told myself I wasn't getting into this again and.... I did."
"Your emotional shortcomings are not my problem, Victoria! You said it point blank- we were not together.I cannot keep cradling your feelings every time they get hurt." He slurred to me and i was in disbelief.
"Have fun with all of....this then. Go fuck yourself, Harry. I thought you were....better than this."
"So this is done then? ...finally."
"Yeah... finally." I repeated and he stomped off back around the corner into the building. Mackenzie turned back around the corner and stopped and looked at me for a moment.
"So... I'm just gonna... I wanna get back to the hotel." I struggled to tell her and she nodded as we took a seat on the sidewalk, leaning against the building. Mackenzie dialed up Jeff and asked for a ride back to the hotel, she told me she texted Mitch to let him know we left so he didn't worry or look for us. The car pulled up and I climbed in with Mackenzie following behind me, we spent the ride in silence as I tried to keep my emotions together.
I rushed to my room and assure Mackenzie I would be fine, she asked at least 3 times and I had to promise to call her if I needed to talk about it. As soon as I closed the door, I locked it and leaned my back against it. I took a deep breath and as I exhaled I started to cry. I walked to the bed and opened my laptop and called Sophia. It rang a few times, and she picked up as she turned the lamp on in her dark room.
"Vic?" She asked groggily and I let out a shaky breath. "Oh my god.... are you okay? What happened?" She asked panicky and I shrugged and shook my head.
"You were right. He uh.... yeah." Was all I managed to get out.
"Oh honey.... no. Not again." She said softly and I just shrugged and climbed under the covers and set the laptop up in the pillow beside me, as she laid down in her bed, placing me on her pillow.
"He uh... he said some pretty... harsh things..." I mumbled and she took a deep breath and nodded.
"Tell me what happened...."
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I woke up with a terrible headache with my laptop open on the pillow with a black screen, I reached over and closed it, rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling, with the sunlight struggling to enter the room through the closed blinds. I forced myself out of bed to take some advil and a glass of water and forced two pieces of toast down to help the hangover.
The events from last night played through my mind and I tried to shake it off for a little longer. I went back to bed and grabbed my phone. I had a text from Sophia from an hour ago.
From Soph:
Call me back when you wake up
I quickly called her and she picked up almost immediately.
"Vic... something happened last night... Arlo um-"
"What happened? Is it bad?" I asked and I started to feel my stomach turn as she took a long pause.
"I think he had an accident, or, or maybe... maybe a fight? I don't know." She stuttered our and I felt like the sky started to collapse. I immediately sat up in bed and grabbed the waste basket beside me and vomited. I took a moment to compose myself again before picking the phone back up.
"Okay. I'm coming home I just- I have to make some calls." I told her, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I can't not go home for him, I also can't just abandon Harry and the team.
"I'll call you soon." I said quickly and hung up on her and immediately called Mackenzie.
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After a long talk with mackenzie, and figuring out some details, I texted Jeff to call me as soon as he could. It only took him 3 minutes to get back to me.
"Okay, I need to get out everything before you say anything okay? Okay. So, there's been and emergency back home and... and I have to go deal with that for a like... a week maybe? I already talked to Mackenzie and she said she would take my spot, I'm even leaving my cameras and equipment for her to use, you basically won't even know it's not me. I just-"
"Okay. You trust her? You're sure?" He interrupted and I took a deep breath.
"Yes. She has a degree in photography and film, she can do this." I assured him.
"Okay. I'll be in touch later in the week then."
"Okay. Thank you."
"And Victoria, I'm here... if you need anything." He said softly and I paused for a moment and pressed my lips together.
"Thank you, Jeff." I said and hung up and started packing my bags and looking for the first flight home.
I hopped on the plane and by 10am, and Sophia took Arlo to the vet to see what he could do for him. I'm just hoping nothing major goes wrong while I'm in the air without service. I would land tonight at 8pm, and Sophia would pick me up and bring me directly to the vet to see Arlo. I tried to distract myself with the in flight movies but, I couldn't get Harry off my mind, or all of the things he said to me. My 'emotional shortcomings'? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? This felt... debilitating, this grief I was carrying in my chest.
And I know it sounds pathetic to be this... broken up over a guy i wasn't ever actually with, but I love him, and I guess it's my fault for never telling him, because maybe it would've been different, maybe it would've gone somewhere, or maybe it would've been over with months ago and I could've been spared the extra weight of this agonizing feeling.
I put my AirPods in my ears and connected them to my phone and scrolled to Harry and I'd text conversation and scrolled through until I found the file he sent me of the song he wrote about that pub. I found the file labeled 'Sunflower' and pressed play and let the sound of his guitar start playing as he started singing.
"Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody, let me inside, wish I could get to know you" this was just two weeks ago, how could everything have changed so quickly? We used to dance in the kitchen, and now I can barely even think about talking to him. I couldn't even get half way through the song before completely closing my phone and fighting back tears. I don't think the guy in the seat beside me would appreciate if I just started crying only 2 hours into our 10 hour flight.
I just.... I can't imagine how he was so able to just shut everything off... to just stop caring. I just need this space from him for right now, I need a couple thousand miles right now.
-
I quickly got my bags from the moving belt and rushed for the exit to the parking garage, I quickly found Sophia and she got out and gave me a quick hug and helped me throw my bags in the trunk. I climbed in the car and buckled in and she pulled out and we made our way for the exit.
"What did the vet say?" I asked cautiously and she took a deep breath and glanced over to me and back to the road. My heart felt like it just came to a stop.
"Looks like he got hit my a car... the doctor, uh... he uh, he said he can't do much for him now. He's keeping him- he's uh, keeping him comfortable right now until you could come see him." My world stopped spinning. I'm about to lose my best friend. "He's not in any pain right now. He's resting, waiting for you." She said as her voice cracked and I took a shaky breath in and closed my eyes.
We rode the rest of the way in silence, as soon as we pulled in, she let me out at the entrance and I rushed in while she parked. I rushed to the front desk and gave her my name and Arlo's. She gave my a sympathetic smile and lead me back into the room he was in. I slowly opened the door and stepped in, letting it close quietly behind me. He doctor looked up to me and gave me a small smile and motioned me to Arlo. He was laying in his bed, with iv's attached to him, he opened his eyes very barely and stayed laying down.
"You must be Victoria. I'm Dr. Vincent." He said and pulled a chair up beside the table Arlo was on, and motioned for me to take a seat. I walked over and sat beside him and stoked my thumb over his head.
"It appears he got hit by car. His back legs are... shattered. His kidneys are starting to shut down, and he's sustained some head trauma." He explained in a soft voice. I nodded as tears fell down my cheeks as I looked at my poor boy, laying helpless in his bed. I think this might be the first time he's ever used it, I kept it inside in front of the door for him. "He doesn't have very long now."
"Can we just, can we have a minute?" I asked between tears and he nodded and left the room. Once he closed the door I let out a quiet sob as I leaned into Arlo, placing a soft kiss between his ears.
"Hey buddy... I uh, I'm so sorry i haven't been home, but just know I uh... I never forgot about you, okay?" He looked up at me and kept his eyes on me as I spoke. "I love you, so so much. You have been.. my best friend. Thank you, you've done so good, and I'm just... I'm so sorry." I sobbed to him as he slowly blinked and laid his head back down. "It's okay, we're gonna be, just fine buddy. I've got you." I said softly. There was a gentle knock on the door before the doctor came back in and gave me a sympathetic look.
"Is he... in any pain?" I asked and he shook his head.
"That iv is meds to keep him comfortable." I looked down at the small tube in his arm and back to the doctor.
"Can we just uh... get this over with? I don't want him having to be scared like this anymore." I said and he nodded and grabbed a clipboard and handed it to me.
"Just, a consent form." He said as he handed me a pen, I signed it quickly and handed it back to him. I leaned over Arlo and kissed his head again as the doctor came over with a syringe and a small glass bottle.
"This shouldn't take more than 15 minutes. He's already on a sedative to keep him comfortable and calm." He said as he put the syringe in the bottle and filled it with the medication. He took the needle and his small arm in his other hand and looked to me. This all felt so sudden, like my entire world was crashing down before me, he was just fine a few days ago, and now I'm holding his hand while I say goodbye. What twisted lesson is the universe trying to teach me right now?
"Ready?" He asked and I shook my head.
"No, but go ahead." I said and he took a deep breath and stuck the needle into his skin. It took 3 seconds total, and he cleaned up and left the room to give me a moment. I let out a strangled sob as I tried to catch my breath again. I leaned close to him and put my forehead to his.
"I love you good boy, you can go to sleep." I whispered and kissed him one last time, he took one last deep breath, and exhaled completely and the room went still. I looked at his now lifeless body before me and couldn't help but completely collapse. "Goodbye, my perfect perfect boy." I struggled to get out before I picked myself up of the table and let go of his paw for the last time.
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Anybody else completely in shambles? Just me? Got it.
RIP to the only one who kept Vic truly truly happy.
All the love
-r