The night of June's twentieth birthday came around with a loud clash of thunder lighting up sky , a light drizzle of rain could been seen racing slowly down each window in there home .
Sitting in front of her vanity with a soft sigh she let her eyes follow the drops of rain , a weird feeling of both excitement and unsettlement washing over her .
She was no longer a teenager anymore . She didn't exactly know how to feel about it either . Twenty seemed like such a more serious number , no more 'it's just what teenagers do' as an excuse for her whiplash behaviour .
Twenty years of boredom . Twenty years of nothing but misery and pain . June wondered if today would be the start of the new supposed chapter of her life , the pages had got to turn sometime didn't they? She couldn't stay stuck on chapter nineteen forever , she wanted to see what would happen next .
So many unanswered questioned joined the fogginess of her mind , her hand following her usual routine as she began to get to get ready . She had declined Cora's generous offer for them to get ready for her party together . June couldn't think of anything worse .
Apparently things weren't so sunny in her friends love life anymore , the various texts of complaints and fear of breaking up littered her phone .
June had long grown annoyed of hearing about it , she neither wanted to know or cared enough to hear about it . She had her own problems going on , Cora was the least of her worries .
She hasn't been able to look her father in the eye since she had found those hidden photographs, they had stayed buried deep in her bag away from her own prying eyes . She hasn't even shown them to Jett . For some reason she didn't want to understand , she felt ashamed .
She felt confused , unwanted , and responsible for her mother's own disgust towards her . She didn't want her or need her , June had ruined her life .
She didn't know what to feel . She she chose to feel nothing at all.
She had woken up that morning to jett's crooked smile beaming down at her , his eyes soft and welcoming as he took her into his strong arms and wished her a happy birthday .
He had kissed her slowly , twenty times until her stomach had rumbled loudly and demanded to be fed . Upon her request he had made her chocolate chip pancakes , waffles and sausage with a side of some cute , little colourful French macaroons he had made her while she was asleep .
She couldn't have loved him more that morning .
Her heart had felt wanted , needed and held firmly within his own chest as he had gently caressed her neck , moving her hair aside before his rough fingers had carefully clasped a dainty , silver necklace between her collarbones .
It was a simple heart being held by two small hands , he had personally engraved the day they had met onto the back , so small that you could barely see it . Inside were two small pictures . One of jett's fingerprint and the other was one of the two of them , cheek to cheek with him smiling down at her like she was everything to him and more .
She had felt a slight twinge of pain in her chest as her kind flashes back to the similar photo of her mother with that Johnny man. It was like history repeating itself .
June had left soon after with a thankful kiss to his lips , not wanting him to see the welling tears in her eyes as she turned away.
It was all feeling a little too strange and close to home.
She was twenty now yet she still felt like a little girl just trying to find her way in this big , lonely world.
By the time that June had arrived at Syd's apartment , the sky was a midnight blue , stars scattered beautifully across the sky . It was the first time in a long time that they had looked so clear .
Dresses in a dark green tea dress with a deep purple belt wrapped around her small waist , June felt her first taste of anticipation and happiness as heavy metal blades loudly down the stairs . She could hear it all the way from the door .
Syd was playing all of her favourite tunes . She realised with a grin as she ran a hand through her carefully curled hair . Her colourful streaks had faded till they were almost gone , only a few pale blue and pink strands remained .
The sleeves were ballooned down to her forearm , small pretty flowers embroider onto them and all down the skirt too . The hem fell in waves to the middle of her thighs , she felt like a fairy .
With silver glitter on her eyelids , rosy blush and her usual cherry lipstick , she knew that she looked good.
Feeling her confidence rise dramatically as the front door swung open and syds face was lighting up at the mere sight of her .
Eyes bright , he leant his side against the doorframe and looked her over with a bite of his lip .
His cheeks were already flushed from the alcohol and sweat, she could see that the inside was packed to it's max with strangers too.
"You look like a dream June." He told her matter of factly , eyes dreamy as he stumbled off the door and clumsily wrapped his arms around her neck in a warm hug .
Giggling lightly she gently tapped his back , swaying slightly from his head at weight as he rocked them from side to side childishly .
"You smell like cider ." She mumbled with a twitch of her nose as she took in the not so pleasant scents that were clinging to his hair and clothes .
Wearing a sleeveless iron maiden shirt and light blue Levi's , he looked like his usual self . Very good .
His long curly hair was curtaining the both of them as he pulled away just enough so that he could look at her .
His lips pulling into a amused smirk "I'm sorry . Would you have preferred if i smelled like vodka instead?" He jokes knowing her favourite poisons off by heart by now .
Grabbing her arm he quickly pulled her into the packed apartment , some LED lights that changed colour had been put all around the room .
Currently it was a dark shade of blue that they were bathed in , Syd's arm tightening around her as they pushed through the crowds.
"No." She responses to his remark as she spotted Cora leaning against the wall opposite them .
She didn't look very happy .
"That's flammable and you smoke . You'd go up in flames ." She stated peering up at him with a cheeky grin as they finally managed to get near a small free space of the living room .
He snorted loudly , shaking his head at her . "We wouldn't want that." He agreed lazily before grabbing a bottle of vodka that had a small red bow around it and shoving it into her awaiting hands .
Beaming she looked down at it with a happy laugh .
"where the hell did you get a bow from?!" She exclaimed quickly pulling it off and uncapping the bottle of the finest vodka there was.
He hasn't gotten her the cheap stuff either . She noticed with a pleased smile .
Syd simply shrugged and ruffled her hair , making her slap his hand away not even a second layer . Shooting him a scathing look as she quickly straightened it back out .
"I nicked it." He said making Cora gasp as she overheard them , coming to stand by June after she had spotted her .
Frowning over at syd in shock "there only like ... a dollar!" She said in disapproval "why bother?"She asked .
Rolling his eyes , he shot June a look that clearly states how much he didn't like her friend .
"Not all of us have a mommy with money to shower us in Cora . Some us have got to save up for other adventures !" He winked over at June , referring to the long conversations that had about there dreams to leave this town .
The whole country if possible . They would travel the world . They had decided together .
If only . June thought with a soundless sigh as she watched Cora flush in embarrassment .
She had once told June that she didn't like people to know that her family had money, that it would change there perspective of her . And she was right .
Syd thought she was a spoiled brat who hadn't been given all the chicken nuggets to make a happy meal .
By that, he meant that he thought that Cora was a brainless idiot who couldn't tell chicken from fish.
He was half right . It had made June giggle guilty but mostly she had been amused by his assumptions.
Cora was like innocence personified compared to June , it often annoyed her to see how sheltered that her friend had been. She didn't seem to want to leave her ignorant bubble anytime soon either .
She was much too afraid to leave this harrowing town . Much too timid to stand up for herself and much too dense to realise that june had bigger plans that sitting around and waiting for the stars to fall down .
She just needed to get her cards laid out right first . She needed to figure out what the hell was going and who the hell she was becoming .
She just didn't know and June had a feeling that if she didn't take the right steps , she would forever be stuck in the shadows of the past . That wasn't what she wanted , no , not at all.
"I'm not spoilt !" She zoned back into the argument in front of her , bottle already to her lips as she watches Cora frown up at syd , offended .
Taking a swig she fought back a snicker . Yeah right.
Her mind went straight back to Cora's room , the one that was most certainly fit for a princess .
Syd just scoffed , shaking head at her condescendingly .
"Oh yeah? Then who bought you those earrings and them rings then ?" He shit back looking pointedly over all over her new jewellery .
Cora blinked and stuttered a response , cheeks darkening even further knowing that he was right .
Feeling a little sorry for her and not wanting to deal with any more arguments on her birthday she decided to cut in .
"I like your dress ." She complimented her with a smile , easily distracting her friend from Syd.
Cora's eyes lit up , seeing to just remember that she was there . Leaning over to June she wrapped her thin arms around her tightly , a surprised sound escaping her lips . Having not expected the sudden affection from her .
"Thank you ! And happy birthday June ! How do you feel?" She asked her with a grin , her eyes brightening up and she pulled away and looked over at June curiously .
Tilting her head she pretended to think about it before shrugging. "I feel like getting drunk!" She laughed taking another long gulp of her vodka making Syd cheer loudly in agreement .
Copying her movements he downed the rest of his beer in one go , breathing out heavily as he wrapped his arm heavily over her shoulder .
"Happy birthday honey! I'm so happy to spend this one with you!" He declared happily , messily kissing the side of her head . The two of them nearly toppling over as a couple that was making out stumbled past them .
Laughing she looked up at him warmly "here's to another twenty more together!" She offered lifting up her bottle hopefully .
Syd just smiled proudly and tapped his now empty bottle against her own , his eyes softening .
Passing Cora a bottle of her own , she raised her brow at her friend teasingly "here's to me!" She giggled already beginning to feel the alcohol hit her small body , cheeks flushing as she looked between her friends .
"To you!" They cheered .
Two hours later and june was well and truly on her way to being drunk , her once perfectly curled hair was now slicked to her neck and face with sweat. She had danced and danced to every song that was played , all of her favourites that had her banging her head like a wild woman .
She had even mockingly slow danced to black sabbath in the middle of the room with Syd , she couldn't have felt happier .
This was the best birthday she had ever had . Usually she spent them all alone . Her father made excuses to be out of the house and he had only ever given her the same gift every year . A bag of cheap sweets that she had never liked . No cake.
This year she had it all. She had jett , a man that would do anything for her .
She had Syd , who was the greatest friend she could have ever asked for. She even had Cora ! Despite all of her naivety and annoying traits , she did like her.
They painted together . They had made memories . Ones that she would never forget .
Wiping the sweat from her eyes she looked around the room for her friend . Holding onto the wall tightly to catch her balance as the room gently rocked from side to side .
Exhaling a tipsy giggle she finally spotted Cora's bright blue sundress and purple hair.
She was shouting at someone . She realised with widening eyes as she pushed through the crowd of people to reach her .
Almost twisting her ankle in her boots , she saw Lennon scolding down at Cora , his face flushed as he pushed away from two pretty girls that he had been hanging all over.
"You don't trust me!" She caught the end of his response as she finally reached them .
Cora's eyes were wet with betrayal and hurt "I did ! And this is how you repay me for it ? You cheat on me!" She sobbed , heaving a sob as she then caught sight of June .
Her eyes widening she quickly latched onto her side , shoving her red face into her shoulder .
"I saw him kiss one of them june!" She cried to her "he had been flirting with them all night too!" She added hysterically .
Squinting her eyes back into focus , june carefully wrapped her arm around her heartbroken friend and patted her arm comfortingly .
Feeling herself being startled in sobriety as she glared in disgust over at Lennon who looked like he would rather be anywhere but there.
His eyes darting all around the room in mortification as people began to curiously look over at the commotion being made.
"You asshole!" She threw at him angrily making Cora wail louder , seeing Syd hurry over to them from the corner of her eye .
"What the hell is wrong with you? You not only cheat on my friend but at my fucking birthday too? Are you asking for a beating ?!" She snarled shoving Cora into Syd's arms , ignoring his grimace and annoyed groan.
Pulling a face as Cora weeped into his chest , mascara marking one of his favourite shirts . Gently pushing at her shoulders with his fingertips , huffing when she wouldn't budge .
Lennon glared back at her furiously , his hands fishing by his sides . "She's seeing things ! She's just drunk , I didn't do shit!" He lied through his teeth shifting uneasily on his feet .
Gasping in outrage she harshly shoved at his chest , sending him stumbling into the wall behind him with a bang . His face wincing from the shutter of pain rattling up his back from the force she had used .
"Fucking liar ! You scumbag!" She snapped , nostrils flaring feeling the sudden need to punch him .
He quickly moved away before she could even take a swing , his eyes darting pleadingly over to Syd who only pretend that he hasn't saw his look.
Still trying to untangle himself from Cora who was full on sobbing by now.
"This isn't the first time is it ?" She realised laughing coldly at his look of panic , knowing that she was correct in her assumption she inhaled sharply .
Shaking her head at him in disgust "you should be careful just who you piss of Lennon . You might wake up tomorrow and find yourself without a head ." She tutted in pretend pity , tilting her head or the side innocently "wouldn't that be so sad?"
He gaped back at her in horror "are you threatening me ?" He hissed back at her , pupils wide in stubborn pride as he realised that he was outnumbered .
June only smiled , eyes lit up in amusement as she finally took a step away from him .
Clicking her tongue "me? Never. It was just a thought . I would never do such a horrid thing ." She drawled pulling at Cora's arms to gently pull her away from the grumbling Syd who was scowling down at Cora , not liking her touching him at all.
Not giving him chance to reply she quickly dragged Cora through the crowd and motioned with a wave of her hand for Syd to get rid of his friend before she did something she couldn't take back .
Getting a understanding thumbs up in response , she last glimpsed him dragging Lennon out by nape of his neck before she pushed Cora into his room and slammed the door shut behind them.
The music now somewhat muffled , she turned her attention back down to the sniffling girl in front of her .
She looked absolutely pathetic. She thought with a grimace of sympathy for her friend .
Nudging her shoulder with her own gently "he was a shithead anyway honey . You'll find better." She muttered quietly as she stepped away from the door and looked around Lennon's room .
It was a pig sty. Clothes were strung messily in every corner of the room , the bed was still unmade with old Batman sheets and bright green pillows .
There were posters of cars and half naked models on the wall too , a typical males room. It stunk of sweat , sex and something awful , she didn't even want to guess what it could be.
Cora looked over at her tearfully "how could he do that to me? I was right there in the same room! He could have kissed me instead !" She exclaimed looking to her to understand .
June just rolled her eyes at her "boys suck ." She simply supplied as she pulled open the only window in the room and leaned over it look down and out of it .
It was a long drop. She rose a brow in thought . They were at least four floors up and below them was just the enter to the block of apartments . Trash bins were out and the grass was till wet from where it had rained earlier .
"Boys are not in it for a long time Cora . They just want the excitement , the sex and everything in between . They want to play video games in there blackout caves , not put a ring on your finger and make babies !" She told her seriously before looking over her shoulder back at her .
Glancing down to the clothes by her feet with a smirk "pass me them will you ?" She said with a tilt of her head .
Cora complied. Picking up Lennon's clothes from the floor and passing them to her carefully , all the while looking back at her in suspicion .
"Why?" She asked her curiously joining her at the window , wiping at her cheeks to get rid of any lingering tears .
June smirked at her mischievously "we're gonna throw out his clothes . Go on !" She exclaimed already throwing her handful out of the high rise window and watching in satisfaction as they hit the muddy grass below .
Cora looked on in shock before breaking out into startled laughter , still drunk and heartbroken she easily gave in and copied her .
Picking up a armful of Lennon's clothes she leaned over the window "prick!" She shouted gleefully before throwing them out with a giggle feeling better already .
June watched her proudly , stepping away from her just as the door to the bedroom opened again and Syd slid in .
His eyebrow raising as he watched Cora curse and throw another handful of shirts out the window .
With a bottle of cheap white wine in his hand he walked over them , snickering loudly in amusement .
"You're a bad influence ." He stated with a toothy grin as he nudged her side with his hip playfully .
Giggling she could only find herself nodding in agreement " I am." She said before pulling Cora away from the window before she could tip herself out of it .
Her face was flushed and eyes glassy as she looked back at june with a dazed smile "that was fun!"
Fighting back a snort she cocked her brow "you won't be saying that tomorrow ." She said honestly knowing that sober Cora would be mortified by her rebellious actions .
June kind of wished that she could be like this more often . It would be a lot more fun to hang out with her then.
Eyeing the wine in Syd's hand she quickly snatched it from him and unscrewed the cap , tossing it onto the floor carelessly , she then handed it over to her friend.
She took it from June in confusion , sniffling a little as she swayed to the side .
"What's this for? I don't like white wine ." She slurred with a frown , pointing at her drunkenly as though she had insulted her by handing her such a thing .
Grinning she nodded over to the bed "so does Lennon . He hates the smell doesn't he?" She said waiting for Cora to nod before continuing on.
"so you're gonna pour that shit all over his bed and carpet . He'll be smelling it for weeks !" She exclaimed encouragingly nudging her towards the bed .
Cora gasped and giggled like a naught child , "brilliant idea!" She praised loudly with a hiccup before lifting the full bottle of wine above the bed and tipping it upside down .
The waterfall of wine falling onto the sheet and quickly soaking the mattress, Cora humming happily as she continues pouring it all over the room.
Laughing june turned back around to face Syd who was watching her with a amused Smirk , tutting at her playfully before pulling her into bathroom across the hall. Leaving Cora to her newly found destruction.
She looked happy now . No more tears . June decided that was what mattered the most .
"He's gonna be furious ." He muttered chuckling as he closed to the door behind them , swaying slightly on his feet as he reached for her.
Backing into the sink behind her she tilted her head up at him with a sly grin "I should hope so. I would have done much more than that but I don't want Cora to cry about it in the morning when she realises what she's done ." She told him truthfully , blinking at him prettily .
Wrapping a hand around her hip , he dipped his head and brushed his lips against her own faintly .
"You're a bad girl June." He whispered against her mouth , lips turning at the corners as he pressed himself against her fully .
Breathing out a laugh she allowed him to kiss her lightly , over and over again . His lips then moved on , pressing then against the corner of her mouth , over her cheeks and nose softly . A mere brush of skin.
Eyes fluttering closed she sighed , losing her fingers into his wild hair . Tugging at the loose curls gently .
"Always ." She murmured feeling light on her feet , her hands sliding down his shoulders and over his hips just as she felt a familiar buzz in her bra.
Syd pulled away from her in puzzlement , his eyes wide as he looked down at her chest "are you buzzing ?" He laughed reaching out to palm her breast playfully .
Batting his hand away she huffed , pulling away from his body reluctantly .
Pulling her phone out of her bra she carefully checked the caller ID , her face falling as she realised that she already had a dozen missed texts from jett telling her to pick up her phone .
Silencing it she quickly looked back up at syd who was grinning down at her drunkenly , his eyes glassy and dropping as he watched her contently , waiting for her.
Plastering back on her smile she spoke , gently grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the bathroom and over to his own room opposite.
"You seem tired honey ." She cooed pushing him over to the bed , Syd went willingly along .
Allowing her to pull of his shoes and jeans before tucking him under the sheets . His hair sprawled messily over the pillow as he tiredly squinted over at her in the dark room.
"Aren't you joining me?" He yawned tucking his hand under his pillow and getting comfortable .
She shook her head with a soft smile , reaching down to pushing the hair from out of his eyes .
Lingering with a quiet sigh as she felt her phone shake in her hand again .
"I can't . My dad is calling me." She lied casually feeling a twang of guilt for doing so .
To make up for her lie she let herself kiss his cheek gently , patting his hand before pulling away.
"You know how he is." She pretend to be annoyed as she walked back over to door to leave .
She hesitated before looking back over at him , seeing him watching her with a small frown as he burrowed deeper under the blanket .
"I'll be back as soon I as I can be okay?" She promised him , waiting for him to nod in understanding before she finally pulled open the door and stepped out , closing it quietly behind her.
Walking over to the end of the hallway she quickly lifted her phone in her hand and accepted jett's call, lifting it quickly to her ear .
"Hello?" She answered with a frown , eyeing the door to Syd's room in bitterness wishing that her night wasn't about to end without him.
Her skin prickled as jett's furious and frantic voice echoed loudly down the line , her spine straightening at his concerned tone.
"I've been calling you for ages june! You need to come back here right now." He told her sternly , sounding anxious .
Eyes widening she frowned to herself "why?"
A long sigh rang though the phone "someone's here waiting for you ... she's at my cabin june . She won't leave until she sees you !" He hissed pacing as he glanced back uneasily into his front room where a small figure sat.
Heart pounding in her chest she felt her hands begin to shake , the same feeling from that morning crashing over .
"Who is it jett?" She demanded to know already pushing through the crowd to get the front door . Feeling a sense of urgency fall upon her as he hesitated to tell her.
Before shaking his head and pinching his eyes closed tightly in worry and anger .
"it's your mother June. She said she's your mother." He muttered finally .
And just like that June's world came crashing down .
Someone's hand patting her back before she slipped out the door , there faceless voice ringing through her muffled ears as the floor spun underneath her .
"Happy birthday June!" She heard before the door slammed shut behind her , her heavy breathing being the only thing she could hear as she ended the call with shaky fingers and a pounding heart.
Her mother was supposed to be dead. She thought hysterically as she stumbled down the stairs in a race to get out . The walls feeling like they were closing in as the memory of the photographs she had found flashed through her head.
Ruined her life . She had written . Unwanted , she had felt. All of her life . Lies , lies , lies.
Nobody ever told the truth .
The old familiar song faintly rang through her ears , the same song that jett had quietly sung to her as soon as the sun had risen up .
'Happy birthday to you . Happy birthday to you . Happy birthday dear June . Happy birthday to you.'
Make a wish ! He had said . She had closed her eyes tightly and wished to be happy .
Wishes , she thought dazedly, never came true.
It was time to turn the page .