HEY BESTIES GUESS WHO IS DONE WITH SCHOOL
i hope you're all well btw <3
my writing is a bit lacking atm since i havent written anything in a hot min sorry abt that ;;;!!!
but allow me to repay u guys for waiting a bit heh :p
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They are each other's teachers,
learning the different definitions
of what "love" feels like.
One taught the other how,
while one taught the other to not be afraid.
Yet they shared the same type of love too:
the type of love that no matter the distance between,
they always find their way back to each other.
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"Ahn Hyejin, are you out of your fucking mind?!"
The booming voice of her own mother didn't surprise her at all. Hyejin sat at the edge of her bed, staring at herself in the mirror while listening to the racing steps coming from the outside of her bedroom. The guilt that had radiated throughout her body had begun to transform into heat in her eyelids, yet as much as she could possibly cry, she couldn't for some reason.
God, she just wanted to cry and accept the shame she had put herself through, but she couldn't. It was either she had cried too much to the point where she run out of tears, or because she didn't want to show herself as weak in front of her own goddamn mother.
And as she continued to stare into the mirror with her focused eyes, slowly breaking herself down flaw by flaw and piece by piece, the adrenaline had rushed in the moment her bedroom door had swung open, causing her to nearly fall back with surprise. Then there was an unexpected force that made her look up, and she saw that look in her mother's eyes.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you know how much trouble you have caused for your father and I due to your behaviourial issues? Because you can't just seem to control your damn self in school?"
Hyejin clenched her fists tightly to the point where her nails dug into the skin of her palm, leaving the fighting stare with her mother and down towards the ground. And she sat there, taking in the words from her mother and absorbing the anger inside of herself. Her heart had raced with a mixture of emotions; it was either an outburst between herself or an outburst towards others. This time, it was toward herself, which only fed the possibility of exploding even more.
"You're heartless and never listen," her mother spat. "and all you do is cause trouble. Your father and I... we provide for you, give you a roof over your damn head and food on the table, and this is how you repay us? You repay us with anger towards those with your already tarnished reputation? Our family's reputation? Was the first incident not enough for you, was that it? That you had just had to surround yourself with uncontrollable anger?"
Suddenly, Hyejin had found herself standing up to her mother's words, "Do you know what it's like everyday, to know that people are talking about you behind your back? To be told that you'll never be enough for any𑁋"
"Did I say you could talk back to me?" her mother interrupted her, causing her to close her mouth out of fear. "I'm your mother; you don't have the right to talk back to me, understand?" Her mother only stepped a bit closer, before completely blocking her view in front of the mirror. Hyejin only looked up to meet with her mother's angry eyes. "Do you want to be unsuccessful when you grow up? Do you want to be a failure when you're older?"
Hyejin felt the tears run down her eyes now, though as she tried to fight them back, nothing worked. She had always tried to not cry in front of her mother, or anyone in general𑁋she was afraid to be labeled as weak, afraid to accept that sensitivity and vulnerability was a gift because she would be doubted. Her own mother would be the one person who doubted her the most, and it struck her heart more than anything else. Her mother had been the one to convince her that because of her behaviour, no one would want to be close with her.
"All you've ever taught me was ange𑁋"
This had earned a loud slap from her mother, which made Hyejin completely face away. She felt her face already tingling and heating up with the aftermath as she tried to keep her senses together from exploding once again.
If only her mother could realise how much her actions are influenced upon her.
"I've had enough of you today." her mother sighed, as if the slap was enough to express her frustration, even though it clearly wasn't.
And Hyejin only watched as her mother trailed out of her room, closing the door harshly behind which made her flinch. The tears in her eyes had stopped falling to her surprise, and she sat completely still as if all her emotions had left her body at that very moment.
At that point, the only explainable emotion she was feeling was just pure... numbness.
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Wheein wasn't at school today.
Of course, Hyejin would be the only one to notice this while time and reality just seemed to have continued like normal for everyone else, but hers felt paused. So the moment she had walked into the classroom with the pairs of eyes from all her classmates on her, she could only keep a gaze onto the empty seat that had been next to hers while ignoring everything else around her. It made her heart sink out of her chest as she tried to keep her multitude of mixed feelings together.
She can only feel a sort of discomforting feeling in her gut as she sat down, keeping her eyes low and putting all those dreading thoughts of Wheein to the back of her head. For a moment, she felt a lingering sense of guilt about herself𑁋that Wheein wasn't there because of her, but how does thinking that lead her anywhere to real reason why the girl wasn't there?
Hyejin just stiffens thinking about it. She hated this feeling.
Another feeling she hated was that knowing her parents would be home by the time school would be done. Specifically, she would be seeing her mother. Hyejin believes she has a closer relationship with her father even though the man was out most of the time. She missed him dearly, yet Hyejin can't get herself to open up to him about everything because her mother would always be lurking behind her shoulder.
Hyejin finds herself thinking about the type of loneliness Wheein had been dealing with throughout her years in school. It wasn't the type of loneliness that she had expected—but Hyejin indeed felt... alone. Purely alone, almost out of the world, how in the world did Wheein manage to make it through this?
"Seems like someone is lonely without the nobody by her side."
The familiar voice makes Hyejin snap her eyes open as she looks around to see that the entire classroom was empty... entirely empty, even though she could've sworn that the entire room was completely filled just a moment ago.
Hyejin just rolls her eyes, grabbing her backpack beside her feet and securing it over her shoulder. She doesn't bother meeting eyes with Jieun, instead trying to brush past her to head out of the class. But Jieun steps in front of her, stopping her.
"Woah, what's the rush?" Jieun questions, stepping forward a couple of steps and making Hyejin back up. "I thought you liked confrontations, isn't that right? I thought you liked getting in trouble because you can't keep your stupid little mouth shut. I thought putting those into place was your thing."
"You're blocking my way," Hyejin smiles sarcastically, trying to give her utmost politeness even though it was evident she wasn't in right state of mind. "Shouldn't you be getting to your next class?"
"Shouldn't you be doing what you're best at?" Jieun counters, before scoffing, "Or are you just proving that you're weak just like you've always have been? Are you proving that you're weak, and insecure, and𑁋"
"I don't think you have the right to be meddling in my personal issues." Hyejin quickly jumps in, but judging from the look on Jieun's face, there's more to be said.
Jieun shakes her head, smirking slightly, "I don't think your mother would like to know what's been happening to you at school, right? Being rude to other students, being troublesome..."
Hyejin's mind went blank for a moment, How the hell does this girl know about her mother?
This... this isn't real, is it?
Hyejin feels her fist clench tightly around the strap of her backpack. She can feel the anger being pent up inside of her, almost needing to be let out.
"...and how can I not mention about your relationship with the nobody? That two of you spend so much time together because you're just so lonely? Because you're both are just at the bottom and don't have anyone else?"
Hyejin can feel something inside of her just lurch inwards painfully, the suppressed anger inside of her slowly creeping out even more. No one had the right to talk about Wheein like that, ever. No one had the right to speak about her feelings, regardless of what they are and who they are for. No one had the right to speak about the quiet girl she found herself falling more for each day, each passing second, each fucking moment.
"You're just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode." This time, the voice sounded like herself. Hyejin blinks a couple of times, realising that she was now completely alone in the room. Well, not alone... it was just her and herself, a complete mirror reflection.
She was staring at herself, as weird as that sounds. Yet at the same time, it wasn't her. This person in front of her... it's not her, not even remotely close. Where was she? Lost in her own self-doubt?
"You're just full of hatred that you don't even realise it," her own voice says, even though she wasn't the one speaking. "And one day, it'll all get to you. One day, you probably won't be able to stop yourself. You have so much to say but you just can't let it out because you're scared of being weak, when you're already the weak one."
No, this isn't real, Hyejin thinks, squinting her eyes shut as if trying to imagine a shield around her. Don't listen, it's not real.
Hyejin, wake up.
"Shut up," Hyejin begs, her voice breaking slightly as she squeezes her eyes close. "Please just... shut up."
Somehow, her desperate, willing begs do make them stop. And as she opens her eyes and peers around the room again, it was just entirely empty, and it made her reminisce about what had just happened. Whatever had happened nearly put her to her breaking point once again; it nearly made her break, and it wasn't even real. None of it was even real.
Suddenly out of nowhere, she feels a tap on her shoulder, making her shoot her eyes up towards Mr. Kim from the desk, "Hyejin, you need to wake up. Sleeping in class is not tolerable; you should know that by now."
Hyejin releases a small groan as she tries to pick her body up, which felt painful to do.
She acknowledges the man's words with a bow, "Sorry, I just... I just haven't gotten that much sleep recently. I'll try my best so it won't happen again."
Mr. Kim gives a nod as Hyejin quickly grabs her backpack to race to her next class.
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Hyejin doesn't even try to stop herself from walking to Wheein's house. It was natural at this point to go to the girl's house, despite the mental blockage between the two of them, and Hyejin just had to see her before heading home. Thinking of Wheein made her calm each time, unsure of how, but it just sort of happens. It felt right to her.
Even if she tries to dismiss all the words of what her mind was telling her, Hyejin knew they were right. Her and Wheein... they both found comfort in one another, and it only evolved from there𑁋from the single encounter under the cherry blossom tree at school, then into each other's arms. It all happened so quickly; the feelings happened out of the blue before she even knew it, where even the small sight of Wheein's smile would make Hyejin feel safe, or the rarity of the girl's voice would make her heart throb.
And despite the loneliness that surrounded them everywhere they went, despite the two different words they seemed to live in, the only sense of comfort they had... were each other.
Yet according to her mother, she didn't have a heart, because she's more known to break them with her anger.
Hyejin only continues to near the girl's house, steady footsteps up the path towards the silent household. She notices the faint lights emitting from the window, feeling the slight jump in her step in the hopes of seeing Wheein. And as she finds herself in front of the door, she feels the reluctance in her limbs to knock.
She sighs, praying for a quiet moment before finally knocking. It was just a couple of soft knocks, not too loud or too quiet, but to make her presence known. A single chill runs down her spine as she looks around the area for a second, before facing back towards the blankness of the front door in front of her.
Hyejin stills the moment she hears something behind the door creak, waiting patiently as she listens to the locks becoming undone. Her breath hitches as she runs a nervous hand down the dark strands of her hair, and before she knew it, the door opened, revealing a seemingly equally-nervous Wheein. The smaller girl had worn her hair down, wearing her normal attire of oversized clothing. Hyejin could only see half of the girl's body, but it was still enough.
The two meet eyes in a millisecond, making something inside the both of them jump from the eye contact.
"Ange𑁋" Hyejin quickly stops herself, giving a moment before continuing, "I... I just wanted to stop by to check up on you," She takes a moment to scan over Wheein's facial features with a faint smile. "Are you doing okay?"
Wheein only continues to hold the door, half of her body hidden away while Hyejin's words roam around her. She gives a small nod to the question, yet the action makes her frown slightly.
Hyejin can feel her thoughts begin to relieve. "Okay, that's good. I guess I can head back now," She takes a brief look behind her, easily sensing the awkward tension between the two of them. It had been the first time where the air between the both of them feels a bit different than before, but neither of them seemed to acknowledge it. She turns back towards Wheein, "I'll see you soon?"
Wheein gulps something down in her throat as she watches Hyejin slowly begin to turn herself around. There was a tingling feeling in her system𑁋merely the desperate feeling to call after the girl.
"Hyejin-ah." The name comes out awfully hoarse, as if Wheein hadn't used her voice in a long time, yet it catches Hyejin's attention automatically. As Hyejin glances back towards the house, she sees as Wheein steps more behind the door, motioning in towards the house and offering for her to come inside.
Hyejin lifts a brow, letting her shoulders relax loosely before walking back towards Wheein's home and stepping inside. She allows her nose to intake the familiar home-like scent of the house, seeing as she hasn't been inside for quite a while, and it makes her relax from the aura that surrounded her.
Wheein observes the girl for a moment, taking a quick second to admire the presence of Hyejin inside of her home once again, with the corners of her lips lifting up imperceptibly as she closes the door. And once the door closes, the entire house is immediately filled with silence, and it makes Wheein's heart quicken to a certain pace.
"This place makes me feel more at home than my own home," Hyejin admits casually, heading towards the single couch in the middle of the room and sitting. She looks back towards Wheein, who was still standing next to the closed front door. "You know that, right?"
Wheein just shakes her head, letting her eyes look down at the floor for a moment. Hyejin just leans back on the couch, stretching an arm out to pat the empty space right next to her, silently hoping for Wheein to accompany her. It takes a moment for the smaller girl to comply, and Hyejin's eyes just follow as Wheein nervously sits down next to her.
The two of them exchange nothing but silence, each not knowing whether or not to say something or just leave everything be. Wheein finds herself missing these sort of silent moments between her and Hyejin; she loved the silence, like it was her only friend, as long as Hyejin was right next to her.
"I'm sorry," Hyejin suddenly says, and it makes Wheein glance up in her direction curiously. They both meet gazes as Hyejin continues, "for not being the best at emotional support. I'm not that great at handling the feelings of other people, but I try my best. And... I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable before."
Wheein gives an understanding look in Hyejin's direction, having the need to also apologise for her own actions too. It makes her overthink for a moment𑁋recognising that her own feelings may be way harder for other people to be able to handle. It makes her feel like a burden from seeing Hyejin struggle with the way she digs a grave for herself. If anything, Hyejin shouldn't put all this effort to be with her... right?
Those thoughts are swept away the moment Wheein feels the touch from a pair of gentle fingers pushing back some hair behind her ears. Wheein can feel her breath hitch from the touch, closing her eyes for a second and beginning to relax.
"My parents are supposed to be home tonight," Hyejin admits, eyes focusing upon Wheein's side-profile. "I'm really not looking forward to seeing them, especially my mother."
The mention of Hyejin's parents makes sometimes inside Wheein boil.
"When I was a bit younger, she used to call me heartless," Hyejin continues. "I've been trying my best to prove to her that I strive to be a better person than my younger self, but she hasn't noticed that yet, and I don't think she ever will. My one wish is just to get her approval, just for once."
Heartless? Wheein questions in her mind. How in the world could someone like Hyejin be considered heartless? The thought of Hyejin's mother saying that to her struck her in the chest as the irritation grew inside. She wanted nothing more than to just approach the girl's mother to prove that Hyejin had a heart, but Wheein knew she could never have the guts to do that, even if she despised the woman that much.
"But I'm scared that one day all my failed efforts will get to me, and my anger will come back again," Hyejin sighs, yet the mention of anger doesn't seem to match with the level of softness in her voice. "and I don't want you to see that side of me. I hate it; I hate it so much𑁋knowing that I can't control the hurtful things that come out of my mouth. I fucking hate it."
Wheein tenses a bit to Hyejin's words. She surely hadn't experienced that kind of side from Hyejin, and she hopes to never see it. But it was just hard to imagine for her𑁋how Hyejin can be this gentle and this affectionate around her and only her, while showing a whole different side to someone else.
"I'm just letting you know beforehand if something like that happens," Hyejin says. "don't chase after me. I don't want you to get hurt, okay?"
Wheein feels her heart sink to the bottom, head rapidly shaking to the request. She reaches over to grab onto Hyejin's hand, squeezing it tightly into her own. The action surprises Hyejin as she stares towards Wheein with widened eyes, looking back and forth between her hand and up to meet Wheein's puppy eyes. Wheein tries to fight off what her head was trying to tell her by allowing her heart to speak for her.
"N-No, I..." she begins, voice trailing off in a second. She takes in a deep breath, lips tightening in frustration, "I-I'm not... I'm not going to run away from you." Wheein grips tighter on Hyejin's hand, almost as if trying not to let her go.
Hyejin couldn't seem to the find the right words to leave her mouth, feeling her tongue twist together from hearing the saddened yet determined tone in Wheein's voice. Her limbs go numb for a second as Wheein seemed serious upon her words, and she could only continue to stare into the smaller girl's eyes.
"Wheein, I𑁋"
The sound of a phone interrupts Hyejin, making the two girls jump away from each other. Hyejin just audibly groans in annoyance to the sound, knowing right away from who it was from. She reaches her hand into her pocket to pull her phone out, and her eyes widen briefly to see that this time it wasn't call from her mother, but her father.
Hyejin hesitates for a moment before tapping on accept and bringing the phone to her ears, "Hello, appa?"
"Hey, kiddo. We just arrived at the airport and we'll be home pretty late, are you finished with school now?"
Oh, God. It had been practically months since the last time Hyejin heard her father's voice. Even though his voice didn't change at all, it still makes her happy knowing that at least her father seemed to appreciate her, even if they were far apart in distance.
"Y-Yeah, I'm..." Hyejin meets eyes with Wheein once again, who gives her a reassuring smile, making a blush form on her face. "I'll see you soon. I'm glad you're back home, appa."
She hears a light chuckle from her father, "Thank you, Hyejin. I'll see you later."
Hyejin says a quick "bye" before hanging up, and the smile leaves her face once again. Yet in a moment, she's the one to flinch from feeling a warm hand cup her cheek. She feels at complete lost for words once again by the time the silence returns between her and Wheein.
"I... I think it's my time to leave now." she mutters, however still not budging from her spot on the couch next to Wheein, bodies turned to face one another and gazes fixed on each other.
The awkward atmosphere had already left at this point, and all left was just comfortable silence. Their gazes lock, and Hyejin, in a swift movement, leans in to press her lips softly and gently against Wheein's. This time, Wheein felt ready and finds herself kissing back more confidently than before. She didn't know what had gotten to her at that moment𑁋didn't know how she suddenly felt all this determination inside of her, but it felt good, even if it lasted for just a quick minute. And the minute was enough to convey the subtlety of their feelings, enough to show that at this moment, they weren't leaving each other's side.
Perhaps listening to her heart had led to this, even though it was hard to control the thoughts of her head taking over.
The kiss lasted a bit longer than usual, however the two girls didn't seem to exactly notice before pulling back, slightly out of breath. Hyejin's eyes could only wander Wheein's face, caressing lightly with the tip of her fingers.
She leans in again, not for a kiss, but to whisper into the girl's ears.
"Even if you think you're not an angel to anyone else," Hyejin's voice sends goosebumps up and down Wheein's spine. "just know that you're my angel, okay?"
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dont worry, we'll see what hyejin's parents are up to soon :)
i just love soft fluff and angst sorry
see you guys soon (: will check for mistakes bcuz im tired asf