TEXTS
PIPER
okay so i feel like i should tell you this
but i'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell adrian and alex
SAM
are you pregnant
PIPER
i don't think that'd ever be possible
SAM
sperm donors
PIPER
Im not pregnant
SAM
ARE YOU DYING?
PIPER
how did you jump from pregnant to dying sheesh
SAM
i dont know you never have secrets youd like to keep from the guys
PIPER
well this one's delicate
SAM
so are you pregnant?
PIPER
sam 😭
SAM
you kissed JJ
PIPER
yeah what the fuck
SAM
it's better than my other guess 😭
at least it's more likely
PIPER
no i meant what the fuck that's exactly what i was gonna say
SAM
WHAT?
BACK UP
YOU MEAN
ASIDE FROM FILMING?
PIPER
christ yeah
SAM
HOLD ON IM CALLING YOU
PIPER
NO IM ON SET
i dont want anyone to hear anything theyre not supposed to
SAM
okay okay
fine
tell me everything please?
PIPER
in oxford, last week
we were really drunk and you know how i dont have a filter when im drunk. i told her i liked her and thankfully she didnt take it in the "i fancy you" kind of way but the "i like you you're a nice person and a good friend" way but we were just laughing and somehow we were sitting really close and then we were kissing
but like she only kissed me because she was drunk and i was literally
sam
GOD
it was amazing
it was really really fucking amazing
and i swear for a split second, it didn't feel like she was kissing me because she was only drunk
it felt real. it felt like she wanted to kiss me because she liked me enough to do so, because she fancied me
SAM
okay, wow
kudos to drunk Piper for having the guts to do that
but are we sure she's straight?
PIPER
i don't know, she could be bisexual but it really doesn't matter. She's engaged.
SAM
yeah, I get it
wait is that why she didn't end up tagging along with us when you came back to london?
PIPER
yeah i didnt end up asking her if she wanted to go out again
SAM
not fair that im the only one who hasnt met her yet
but anyway
sooo what are you going to do now?
PIPER
sam i have no fucking clue
it's so awkward on set
and it's all my fault because i cant bear to look at her without making it obvious that i want to kiss her again, completely sober
SAM
wait, you're supposed to film the sex scene today right?
PIPER
yeah
well
we just did
it took us like 10 takes
and im literally dying right now
like iM SHAKING
i think it ended up so bad
you'll probably be able to see just how tense i was in that scene.
I don't know how she's coping, she was completely find the entire time
BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW HOT SHE LOOKS HALF NAKED?
I COULDNT LOOK HER IN THE EYES SAM
I BLOODY HATE BEING GAY
SAM
Wow okay
I'm sure if the director didn't ask for more takes then it means it went well!
and as for JJ, don't you think you should talk to her?
You can't just give her a cold shoulder because you can't handle being attracted to her
PIPER
what am i supposed to say? "hey im attracted to you, wanna make-out even though you're in a long term relationship with a sucky man and probably aren't even into me?"
SAM
yeah exactly! except if she's the slightest bit into women, she's defo into you
PIPER
none of this matters sam
i cant do anything about it
SAM
because you're choosing not to
PIPER
yeah
and even if there is the slightest chance that she might be into women, im not about to be a home wrecker
SAM
you're right
but you also deserve to know if there's a chance that any of this could go anywhere, and she deserves to know why you're acting like an idiot and pushing her away
PIPER
idk
look, i dont wanna jinx the last week of filming. were almost done with everything so im not gonna do anything stupid, until the wrap party maybe
WHICH REMINDS ME, you're coming right?
SAM
absolutely! I wouldnt miss it for the world.
wanna go out for hot chocolates and brownies when you're done?
PIPER
Yes ):