BROKEN LITTLE BOY —
chapter sixty-nine ;)
Korei carried her basket of bath essentials with her to the gender-neutral showers on the first floor. She was hoping that maybe Shinsou had done what they talked about...but she wasn't sure. Maybe he got his shower before her? Who knows. She just knew that she wanted to wait until just before curfew to get her shower and go to the gender-neutral showers, hopefully, to meet up with her boyfriend. Would he even be there though?
Is he even still her boyfriend?
They still hadn't talked since earlier that day, and Korei couldn't help but feel really bad for it. She felt like she had been too sensitive. She didn't really do anything wrong, but she still thought she had.
Slipping past the door, Korei found herself walking further into the showers. She found a locker for her things, noticing that no one else was in there with her. Sighing to herself, she couldn't help but feel like crying again. That's all she really did...cry. It's just that the idea of losing Shinsou made her physically hurt. Who would scratch the back of her head as she fell asleep on their chest? Who would laugh at the stupid things on TV as she cuddled into them and asked them questions? Who would answer those questions happily? Who would encourage her to eat more food when she felt like starving herself? Who would love her when she thinks she's just so...unlovable? If Shinsou didn't want her anymore...would she die alone? Would he die alone?
Now Korei couldn't help but picture him with other girls! He'd probably find a prettier girl; one who's skinny and loved by everyone. She'll have long hair, longer than mid-back, and she'll probably have really perky and big boobs, unlike Korei's that sort of sag and are probably only big because she's overweight. This new girl would have gorgeous blue eyes because Shinsou always seemed to like the blue-eyed girls in the television shows he watched...and she'd be a size zero. She'd be so nice to Shinsou, and she'd take such good care of him, but she'd be mean to everyone else because Shinsou doesn't like people. Sh-she wouldn't be as weird as Korei, and she probably wouldn't be as annoying. God...she'd just be better than her in every aspect and Shinsou would fall in love with her so easily. He'd forget about Korei because she was never anything important, to begin with.
Korei wiped her tears away and picked the shower closest to the light. She pulled the curtain shut and started up the water, standing aside as it warmed up. She liked that there were separate cubby-like showers. The only thing strange about them is that the walls separating each shower were only tall enough to block up to Korei's chest. If any other taller female or person with boobs were to stand in it then their chest would be on display for the person in the shower stall next to them! That sort of worried Korei, but she didn't think too long about it. Instead, she placed her basket on the wall and pulled out her shampoo and body wash. For some reason, her conditioner was missing. Had she packed it separately? She thought it was in the bag...maybe she left it in her room? Odd, Korei doesn't normally misplace things like this. She blames it on being so scatterbrained over Shinsou.
As Korei let the water soak her thick hair, she closed her eyes and pictured what it would be like having Shinsou in the shower with her. Don't judge her! He's just so handsome and she can't help but picture such sinful things with him! Shinsou was always saying things, whispering in her ear when she was half-asleep...talking about the things they could do when they get older...but Korei didn't want to wait that long! They were sixteen! Did he want to wait until they were dead or something? What's the point in holding out for so long?
See, eight months ago, she probably would have agreed with Shinsou that waiting was the best option. Not because she'd want that but because it's her religion. Korei had a mind of her own now and she wanted to do things her way. And after those moments with Shinsou...she didn't think it was possible to ever go back to that shy little girl she once was.
Humming quietly to the song playing in her head, Korei pictured Shinsou's hands running over her body. His hands were so big...and the things he could do with them!!! Goodness, her breath was caught in her throat just thinking about it! With her bottom lip bitten, she slowly drug her hand over her body; fingertips tickling her wet skin until it reached her belly button. Should she go further? I-it's be weird if she got caught...but she kinda liked that too.
A yelp nearly left her lips when she heard the door to the showers open and then shut. It was very quiet, but she heard it. Quickly, she brought her hand up and reached for her shampoo. Busying herself with washing her hair, her eyes squeezed shut and she prayed that this mysterious person wouldn't take the shower next to her. It'd be weird if they looked over the wall and saw her naked!
With anything but God on her side, Korei heard the shower curtain next to her open and then be pulled closed. As Korei was rinsing the suds from her hair, the person turned their own shower on. Working up the courage, she cracked one eye open to glance over at the person and see who it was. Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest when she saw it was Shinsou! His gaze flickered over to meet hers, glossing over her upper body first because he had such a good view. This prompted the chubby girl to squeak and turn bright red, golden-brown eyes wide with excitement and embarrassment. She opened her mouth to apologize for earlier, only able to get his name out before he stopped her. "Hitoshi–!"
"Shut up." Was his response, nothing else following. This made Korei's shoulders drop, the excitement draining from her face. Shinsou watched this happen, his girlfriend turning away from him to face the wall with the shower head on it. He took this time to admire her side profile, admitting that it wasn't as sharp as most other people's were...but Shinsou didn't like those other people. He preferred the softness of her face, enjoying those rounded curves. Korei was perfect in every way...even down to the way her toes were. Shinsou didn't care much for feet, but Korei's toes were so cute and perfectly taken care of. This girl's personal hygiene was beyond amazing, which explains why she's so high maintenance.
"I just wanted to–" he shushed her once more, asking her to not talk so he could mull over his next words carefully. He was unaware of how rude this was but it's not like he meant for it to be. This apology had to be perfect or else it would be worthless.
"Korei–" he stopped himself, gaze faltering to where the water in his stall was draining. Maybe he should be over there with her? Would she be okay with that? "C-can I come over there?" He asked softly, glancing over at her. The green-haired girl nodded, mumbling out a 'yes' and waiting for him to join her. Shinsou nodded and turned his shower off, yanking the curtain back and slipping into Korei's. He kept his eyes above her shoulders, wanting her to know that his apology was sincere. "I–i'm sorry," he whispered out, his voice refusing to go any louder. He repeated it, trying to make it louder but only causing his voice to crack. "Fuck," he growled to himself, feeling Korei's small hands glide over his arms and shoulders before coming to rest on his chest. Closing his eyes tight, he felt his throat close up and he never realized how fucking hard it was to apologize. "I'm sorry!" His hands clenched into fists, trimmed nails digging into his flesh with how tightly he was squeezing. Confused, Korei went to ask him if he was okay and Shinsou just grabbed onto her. One hand cradled the back of her head and his other hand wrapped around her wrist and yanked her hand off of his chest as he walked her back against the wall. Tears began to drip from his eyes, mixing with the warm water from the shower as his head tilted down at Korei's face. "I'm...so fucking sorry."
Korei frowned, looking up at her boyfriend as he refused to open his eyes. "Let me go," she whispered quietly, feeling his grip loosen before his hand dropped weakly beside him. She stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck and tugging him down to her height. "I accept your apology, Hitoshi."
Those words brought forth a full-on, gut-wrenching sob from the teenage boy. Though he was old enough to live on his own, old enough to decide to risk his life and save other people, he couldn't help but feel like a broken little boy. As he cried into Korei's shoulder, his free arm wrapped around her waist and held her tightly to his body, no spaces left. He continued to cry, whispering his apology over and over again in her ear, wanting her to know just how sorry he was. Korei just held him, listening to his pained cries and doing her best to comfort him. This wasn't exactly what she pictured their first shower together to be like, but she was happy with it either way.
fluoxetine