BAU groupchat + Reader

By agenthotchisadilf

1.2M 33.1K 74.2K

how I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some s... More

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29.4K 774 1.2K
By agenthotchisadilf

               Bau groupchat

Y/n: at lowes rn, so many dilfs 🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏻

Derek: y/n go get a sugar daddy aH🤑

Reid: What is a "dilf"?

Emily: ... i

Derek: Hotch is a dilf tbh let's be real daddy hotch

Hotch: I'm so close to leaving this groupchat. Do not ever call me that again.

Emily: omg he is, only exception af

Y/n: hotchy boy the dilf

Hotch: thin ice all of you

Reid: This doesn't answer my question? I'm confused.

Y/n: "Dad I'd like to fuck" that's what it stands for, basically really hot dads

Reid: I regret asking nevermind

Reid: I don't think I wanna know what a sugar daddy is then.

Y/n: google is your bestie, bestie

Derek: lookin for some hoes tbh🐆

Emily: stfu derek my god💀

Rossi: you all confuse me, my iq drops anytime I open this groupchat

Reid: 🐢 he watches.

Derek: WHAT ???

JJ: what is that even supposed to mean I'm scared

Y/n: menace to society af

Emily: MENACE TO SOCIETY Y/N UR FUNNY AF 💃🏻💃🏻 ITS TRUE BESTIE

Derek: I juSt got vodka splAShed in my FACEF OH MY FUCKDING GOD OW

JJ: damn the rejection LOL

Emily: stop being a predator

Hotch: Emily. Not nice.

Emily: I SAID PREDATOR NOT CHILD PREDATOR

Derek: I'm going home this is embarrassing my ego.

Derek: JK AH 😜 IDGAF IM LOOKING FOR ANOTHER BADDIE

JJ: oh my god my son just shit his pants brb

Emily: yo wtf💀💀💀

Rossi: isnt he like 6 ?

Derek: that just ruined my mood jj what the fuck

Y/n:

Hotch looking at the messages, wondering why he puts up with us ^^

Hotch: no actually.

Garcia: HEY FRIENDS HI IM NKT DRUNK MAYBE NO

Reid: Oh my god someone normal, hello Pen!

Garcia:

Me rn HEHE

Reid: Nevermind, goodnight.

Rossi: gn kiddo

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