19th december
ross lynch
her hands trailed up my body as i kept my grip on her hips as she straddled me, her lips molded perfectly with mine
she tugs at the end of my shirt before i lean up as she strips it off my body completely, moving to her waistband i pull her leggings slowly off and under her ass before she sits up slightly so i can pull them lightly under her knees
her tongue dancing with mine in each others mouth, i missed her so much, and this feeling
she was sweating slightly, same with me, her hair hanging from her shoulder from where i pushed it off, her bra now completely off and somewhere around the room as she sat in just her underwear ontop of me
she really was an angel.
she tugs at the top of my joggers and before i could even blink they were off and on the floor along with her pants.
she runs her hand over my area and i fall weak, my hands make their way up to her face as i kiss her with more and more passion everytime
i sit up lightly with her still in my lap, her hands sit on my shoulders, she pulls away and i start trailing the kisses down her down and on her chest, her head leaning back so i can take more of her in
i stop for a second to catch my breath, looking at her glossy eyes put me into a state of panic, arching my brows whilst panting she shakes her head with a weak smile
"okay?" i ask out of breath
she nods eagerly, like she needs more of me, and i need more of her.
i nod with her as she goes to kiss me again but i stop her by leaning back to avoid the kiss
something took over me and i had such a desire for her, i needed her, i wanted her...all of her.
grabbing her wrists from my shoulders i hold them together, she keeps her eyes on her hands as i'm gentle with where i touch
"don't speak unless you want me to stop or your in pain ok?" i tell her
she nods.
"use your words" i rasp
"o-okay" she manages to speak out
~
kenzie louise
last night was something i never thought i would experience - in that way.
laying awake with ross nested next to me, buried in my chest as he lays on his side, i keep my grip on him as he sleeps peacefully into my chest
thoughts are surrounding my head and i'm lost on what or how to feel.
i was saying goodbye to my mum today.
as hard as that sounds i think i was ready, she taught me so much growing up and i'm so thankful for her, but i think it's her time to rest now - even if i wasn't finished with her dealing with me yet.
staring at the ceiling at 9am whilst the the noise of something i couldn't put my finger on taps on my window repeatedly
having to fight the urge to just sneak out and slid under ross to get to the window to see was driving me insane to the point i couldn't take it
my curiosity gets the best of me and i try my hardest to get out from ross without waking him
i take his arm from my waist and look at him trying to figure out whether he was going to wake up or not, he sturred slightly as i lifted myself up
i ran my hands through his hair, pushing it out of his face as he had a frown on his face, like he knew i wasn't there anymore
i was soon to get him back to sleep and make my way over to the window after throwing ross' jumper on that was huge on me, it hung above my thigh and covered my under area so i was okay
i throw my hair up before shoving my glasses on my face, getting to the window i open it slightly and lean my arms on the window seal taking in the view
something i haven't seen in what felt like years starts falling from the sky and landing everywhere around me including my arms that were peeking out the window
snow.
the white snowflakes fall on my navy covered arm and my mouth parts in shock, when i look back up it was pouring with snow, the palm trees were behind drowned in the fluffy snow and the roads were soon to ice up
the sky was still dark and it felt like some sort of sign.
my mum loved the snow.
knowing she was watching down on me at this exact time made me heart warm, i missed her so much words don't explain but i knew this was her telling me she's was resting easy now.
i got startled when i felt someone wrap there arms smoothly around my waist and bury their head into my neck from behind me
i can tell it's ross from the smell of his cologne that spreaded around the air.
i leant backwards into his chest as he kissed my neck softly, i hold my hands over his on my stomach and tap them to get his attention
he lifts his head to look at me and i nod in the direction of the window
i watch him turn his head and his mouth part when he sees the snow that was getting deeper and deeper by the minute
"my mum loved the snow" i speak up but still keep my voice down
"she's proud of you" he croaks from his morning voice
my heart flutters just by his words, i really didn't know how much i needed him until he was here now...with me.
my smile drops slightly when i think about everything, well...overthink to say the least, i didn't like how he just came back, it didn't seem fair but there was no way i was going to tell him that because i was getting him back, well at least i thought.
"kenz..." ross says in caution catching my attention
i lift my head and face him, his eyebrows were arched and i raise my eyebrows in slight confusion
"your overthinking...tell me what's on your mind" he said before turning my around slightly, he placed his hands on my shoulder and i fiddled with the ring on my finger
his eyes glanced down to my ring and i just could tell he was smiling from the corner of my eyes.
i look up at him to see his cheeks flushed a pink colour.
"you kept it" he said
i nodded with a small smile before looking back down letting the smile fade once again.
"talk to me" is all he says, knowing he could just tell my mood by how i was acting and what i was doing
i take all i have in me to tell him everything.
"the days i went without you were like torture" i said referring to what he told me last night
he stayed quiet.
"and i agree with you on what you said last night...i made new friends and so have you, and i don't know if it'll be the same again, if we try that is"
i look up at his furrowed eyebrows and confusion written all over his face
"i-i don't get it" he rasps
"well...think of it this way, your still touring for another four months, your be somewhere far away from here, on new years, christmas, your birthday, and i really don't want to go through what he did before because that wasn't fair, not for me and not for you"
his frown fades and the corners of his lips lift up in a smirk, i now knit my eyebrows before he tells me
"we're having a break from tour, from now..." he runs his hands down my arms and grabs my hands "until the start of january"
my face falls in shock "really?"
he nods with a smile on his face that makes me want to squeeze his cheeks and smother him with kisses
"yes" he says with an even bigger smile
i don't say anything else, my hands on his face and his on my waist i push my lips into his and we both exhale into the kiss, i felt like things were maybe going to get better
he pulls away too soon and rest his forehead on mine, my hands fall from his face and he's soon to link his fingers with mine, making my stomach flutter
"so...i know this is no romantic beach setting" he laughed slightly and it brought me back to so many old memories
"but kenzie...will you be my girlfriend...again?"
nostalgia hit me and took over everything i was thinking about
"yes, yes ross, i will" i nodded my head multiple times being very sure on my answer at this time
i crashed into his chest as he pulled me in for an embrace - one i really have missed.
our romantic moment got shut off with a bang on the door, it opened to reveal max mason and maddie standing there cautiously, peeping their heads around the door
i laugh under my breath and lean my head into ross chest in pure embarrassment, he ruffled my hair with his one hand whilst the other stayed around my waist hugging me close to him still
"are you guys..." maddie starts
"yes" ross says with a small laugh at the end
i hear claps from the other side of the door so i'm guessing that's what they all start doing - clapping
maybe i'll be okay.
~
a few hours had passed and it was around 1pm, the funeral started in 40 minutes and i knew this wasn't going to be easy just when stepping into my dress.
my dress was a strapped black dress, i paired it with tights and black converse along with a black fluffy jacket because it was december and very cold.
ross was suited in black suit pants, a white shirt, black tie and his hair was slightly damp from the shower we just shared
i stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom just touching up the curls in my hair, ross sneaks up behind me and turns me around, he leans down with a smile and kisses my lips
i hands immediately go into his hair and tug at it slightly, it wasn't a rough kiss, it was slow and meaningful, and i love these types of kisses.
his hands reach down from my waist and to my behind, squeezing it slightly before running his hands down to the sides of my thighs, picking me up and placing me on the counter behind me i whined in pain from the impact in between my legs
forgetting i now had lost my virginity.
i pull away and hold the inside of my thighs, ross' eyebrows furrowed as i try to shake off the fact that last night he fucked me so hard i bruised.
"it's nothing" i said leaning back in but he pulls back
"seriously ross"
he shakes his head with worry written all over his face, i felt guilty saying what i said next but if i meant i could have my make out session then i was down
"ok my legs are sore from last night but that's not your fault" i give in
a smirk grows on his face and i immediately feel embarrassing, my head falling to my hands as i cover my flushed cheeks, ross laughs and i just want to bury my head in his chest and hide from the world
i wish this counter was made out of sand and i would just simply sink straight through it and never come back out.
he lifts my chin up from his shoulder and whispered into my ear
"i went easy" he muttered into my ear causing the lower part of my stomach to flutter
i smiled cheekily before leaning in and kissing him one more time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a/n
WELL
i did some smut but uno
-katie