Why am I stressing myself over someone
who doesn't even ask me if am okay?
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Olivia Brown
His hands took a strong grip around my waist and lifted me up on the counter. One of my hands went around his neck and the other hand went to his bicep.
He licked my lower lip for an entrance. His tongue explored my mouth roughly, his hands went down to my behind. I tried to keep up with his dominating pace, but I couldn't.
He squeezed my ass as he went rougher with me. I took a grip on his t-shirt and moaned in his mouth.
Stop, why is he kissing me, and why am I kissing him back?
I couldn't do this. He didn't have the right to kiss me. He hurt me. He couldn't just beat me up then after a few days kiss me, then cuss at me, then make-out with me now.
He was handsome and hot, but I didn't feel anything towards him beside hate, and he didn't feel anything towards me either. I couldn't deny the fact that he made me feel something. Not love, but desire and lust.
I slowly backed away from his lips.
"Wait," I gasped quietly against his lips. He grunted in frustration and squeezed my ass harder.
"No," he breathed out and was about to kiss me again, but I turned my head to the other side.
"No, I can't," I whispered and jumped down from the counter.
"Fine. It was just a kiss. Don't make it into something it's not," he said coldly and backed away from me.
Ouch.
I gazed up at his green-blue eyes with a sweet smile.
"Likewise." I replied sarcastically then walked away from him. After I closed the door to my room, I breathed out in relief.
Ugh, I'm such an idiot.
Why did I kiss him? He was holding me hostage and threatened my life, and what did I do about that? Yeah, I kissed him. I was so mad at myself. Why did I let him kiss me after everything he had done to me?
Don't make it into something it's not.
What did he take me for? Some little girl who got attached easily?
Ugh, I hate him so much. From now on, I wasn't going to think about him or even come near him.
Since the other guys weren't home, I had no one to hang out with.
Suddenly, I got an idea. I picked up my favourite book, Wuthering Heights, then went out to the garden.
The garden was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. It had a big white fountain in the middle, around it was bushes, perfectly cut to rectangles. The grass was freshly cut, and the flowers bloomed so beautifully. I inhaled the fresh smell of grass and flowers with a happy grin.
There were huge spruces at the end of the garden like a fence. Without a second thought, I walked through the spruces.
A lake? There was a breathtaking lake behind the trees. I took off my shoes and felt the soft, cold sand between my toes.
Going closer to the water, I sat down near the small waves. A shiver went down my spine. It was a little sunny, however the autumn weather that year was strong. The wind blew stronger and stronger, making the waves bigger.
I took some time to just take in the breathtaking view.
When you look out and see the big world, you feel so small suddenly. Your problems and concerns don't seem that important anymore, there was so much more that was more important than you.
The space, the world, was so huge that I couldn't wrap my head around it. Like you didn't matter, you were just a little dot in this big world. No one would notice if you disappeared.
I always wonder if someone would notice if I disappeared. And I always came to the same conclusion that no one would have given a damn if I suddenly wasn't there anymore. I didn't mean anything to anyone.
At that point in my life, there wasn't anything I wanted more than to disappear. When I said disappear, I meant die without any pain or anything. Just... you were there and suddenly you were not.
All of a sudden, I felt a water drop on my cheek as the grumbles and growls got louder. The sun was now behind the dark clouds, completely consumed by the darkness. A strong thunderbolt reflected on the lake. The heavy rain could be seen on the water.
Drop, drop, drop...
I quickly put my book under my shirt, preventing it from getting wet.
The rain got heavier and heavier, the grumbles and growls got louder and stronger, the thunderbolts got bigger and brighter.
Standing up, I sprinted back to the mansion through the backdoor.
Since I was a little kid, I liked thunder. I liked the sounds that it made, the bright and powerful flashes, the sound of the heavy rain. I would go out when it was thunder by myself, considering Alex trained with Mateo and I had no one else to play with.
I played under the heavy rain, I jumped in puddles, rolled in them too. My chuckle and the grumbles were the only thing you could hear. That was the happy part of that story. When I came back home, I got beaten up for the sake of I was wet and dirty. I mean, I was seven years old, what did you expect?
I was about to enter my room when a sound came from a room nearby. Moans and grunts came from the room no one occupied. Weird, I thought everyone beside Antonio was on a mission. Maybe it was Antonio, expect that his room was on the third floor, so if he would have sex with someone, he would have it in his room.
It made me feel better that it wasn't Antonio that had sex right now in that room, I didn't know why. It just did.
Curiosity got the best of me; I went closer to the room. The moans from the girl got louder and louder.
Who could it be? The security guard and the maid? No, they wouldn't, I was sure they weren't allowed to do that. It sounded like they both finished.
I quickly left, I didn't want them to see me when they opened the door, they would think I was some creep that listened to people have sex.
Before I closed my bedroom door, I saw the blonde girl that was on Antonio from the event come out from the room. And behind her came Antonio out with a satisfied smirk.
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