↳ ❝🍓 [chapter 31] ¡! ❞🚬
YOONGI IS BACK in his house with Hoseok. He sits in his cold, empty room all day and all night. He doesn't know what to do. He can't collect his thoughts. All he can think is that he's a plain and simple dumbass.
He should call her but he's too much of a coward to pick up the phone.
Why didn't he just say I love you back? It would've been so much easier. They could've loved each other. They could've been happy.
But he can't be happy.
Yoongi sniffles, his nose all stuffed up from crying so much. His face is red and burning and his eyes are raw with pain. He stares at the window, watching as the sun begins to peek over the horizon, the break of dawn.
Eva's probably getting ready for work right now. Maybe she was wallowing in bed just like him.
She wasn't. She had bills to pay.
Eva wanted to stay in bed all day, oh how pleasant it would sound to curl up with one of Yoongi's shirts and just cry, but she didn't want this to affect her day.
This had happened before. This was nothing new. She had learned not to let it get to her.
She walked to work that morning. It felt like ages since the last time she did so. She had forgotten how important it was for her to get the chance to fully wake up through her walks.
Either way, she missed Yoongi. She really did put herself out there and he just up and left. She felt disregarded, disrespected, disappointed. Eva couldn't find it within herself to be happy, to find the beauty in all that she saw.
When she got to work, she didn't say good morning to anyone like she normally did. Not even Namjoon. He immediately recognized that something was wrong.
"Eva, are you okay?" He asked her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. Eva shrugged it off, taking Namjoon by surprise. He knew that something happened.
"I'm fine." She said before walking away to get ready for the kids. Namjoon watches her rush away, his brows were pulled together with worry. He didn't know what was wrong with her but he certainly knew that something was wrong.
She was off for the entire day. She wasn't as energetic with the kids. She was quiet for the most part. Eva took breaks in the bathroom where she cried over her phone, debating on whether she should call Yoongi and get this fixed.
-
Hoseok sighed as he made his way downstairs to eat breakfast. He rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes with the sides of his hands. He wasn't sure how long he had stayed out last night but it was certainly too long.
He came downstairs and turned the corner, immediately, Hoseok jumped back and let out a scream at the sight of Yoongi on the couch curled up with a pillow, but his tired brain didn't recognize it as Yoongi.
When Hoseok did register it as Yoongi, he sighed. "I fucking hate y-" then he saw the tears and the reddened face. It was just a peculiar sight to see Yoongi emotional. Yoongi was the least emotional person Hoseok knew.
"What happened to you? You look like absolute shit." Hoseok forced himself to wake up as he shuffled over and sat down beside his friend. He was awkward. Emotions were awkward.
Yoongi shook his head. "I fucked up, Seok. I fucked up really bad. She-...she told me she loved me and-" He sniffled. "I told her that I didn't know. What the fuck is wrong with me?" He ran his fingers through his hair and slouched against the couch.
Hoseok shifted, tensing. God, Eva told him. She did what he said and she told him. Hoseok had this sinking feeling that he was responsible for this. He encouraged Eva to confess without asking Yoongi about it.
"I'm sorry." He says quietly, twiddling with his thumbs like a nervous wreck. "Have you tried to talk to her since then?"
Yoongi shook his head against the arms of the couch. "No. I think she hates me now."
"She can't hate you. You're both just...upset and overwhelmed." God, Hoseok felt like a marriage counselor. "You should try to talk to her once you figure out your emotions, but if this backfires, please know that I know nothing about serious relationships."
Yoongi wasn't sure of his emotions. He didn't know how to express them. He was one to overthink everything and make things more complicated than need be. He was scared, terrified to open his heart to someone. His everything felt all over the place.
"Maybe I should give her a little space," Yoongi murmured. Or was it him who needed space, who needed time to bring himself together?
Hoseok gave a sympathetic sigh. "I do hope you two work out. You both deserve to be happy." And he truly meant that. They were perfect together. So perfect it was sickening. Hoseok couldn't see them being with anyone else.
Happy. Such a fleeting word. You could be the happiest person alive one moment and then feel like literal trash the next.
Yoongi felt like he was fast on his way to the lowest point of his rollercoaster, screaming on the way down.
He didn't know how low it could actually get.
-
Hoseok came around later that day. Night was quickly befalling them and Eva had just so happened to text and ask if he could take her home. She made no specific request that Yoongi couldn't come as well. Hopefully, if he forced them in the car together they'd have to confront what happened and talk things out with each other.
Yoongi was still on the couch, depressive episode in full swing it seemed. Apathy swirls in his eyes as Hoseok comes to stand in front of him.
"Come on, we're gonna pick up Eva from her work." Her name is the only thing that penetrates the rough exterior of his face, the weakness to his suit of armor it seems. He wants to see her and he wants nothing more than to apologize but how do you come back from saying "I don't know" when someone confesses their love to you? They can't exactly just go about their lives like it never happened and they'd always have to have the conversation another time.
"Don't be a fucking pussy, Yoon, get up. Win your girl back. You love her, I know you do, so why not just tell her? It's not gonna make a shit's difference if you say it verbally or not. It's not going to enact some big, catastrophic event if you do." Hoseok was tired of his shit, Yoongi refusing himself love when it was laid out right in front of him like this. "Get up, stop being a coward, and let's go."
It seemed that was enough to get Yoongi up and going. Better to have this conversation now than try to keep running with his tail tucked between his legs from it. He can't keep playing things "safe" because what if this is the only chance he may have to tell her? Normal people get the option to wait until they're ready. He isn't offered the same luxury.
He reluctantly goes with Hoseok, hops into his car and doesn't think too hard about what lies ahead as they begin rolling down the street.
Eva stands in the front lobby of the community center, alone. She told Namjoon to go home despite his protests to stay with her until someone comes to get her. She assured him that her friend was just around the corner and that she was fine. Really...she just wanted to be alone.
Her lover doesn't love her. How is she meant to cope with that?
She waits by a window, gazing out at the quiet street this small community center sits upon. She wants to go home, curl up in one of Yoongi's shirts and sleep forever, or long enough for this pain to leave her.
Her lamenting is brought to a halt at the sound of rubber burning against asphalt, loud and abrasive screeching of tires leaving marks on the road below it. There are four loud pops, glass immediately shatters around her, shards flying around her. She screams, dropping by pop three. Her reaction time was horrible.
Yoongi and Hoseok were just coming down the street when it happened. They saw the arm stretch out of the window with a Glock in hand and the flashes of light as bullets leave their home in the magazine and are propelled less than 50 feet from their destination. Hoseok's foot slammed on the brakes and before he could even fully come to a stop, Yoongi was already out of the car, door ajar, running to make sure Eva was okay.
"Eva!"
Fingers grasp the edge of a windowsill, shards of glass sinking into her skin without a care. Eva peeks her head over the way and Yoongi lets out a relieved sigh. Relief is a fleeting feeling however as she stands fully and reveals the growing red spot on her shirt, right against her right side. It starts out small but quickly begins to cover more surface area. It grows rapidly. Blood meant to be circulating through her veins is now dripping from the hole left by the bullet which had torn through her body.
"Yoongi?" She asks softly. Fear fills her eyes to the brim and her gaze falls to her fatal wound.
Yoongi cared not for the glass that covers the window frame and jumps through it. He cuts his palms open on the glass and crimson red seeps from the wounds. He goes care, he can't care when Eva's bleeding so profusely.
She falls into his arms, trembling. The pain hasn't fully hit her yet, adrenaline, shock maybe, all Eva knew was that she was scared.
"It's okay, it's okay," It's definitely not okay. Yoongi can hardly grasp the situation displayed before him. He holds his hand over her bloody wound and applies as much pressure as he can in some feeble, desperate attempt to hold her blood inside and stop the bleeding. His blood intermingles with hers, his wound meets her wound and they are one once again.
Hoseok's stepping through the shattered door with his phone in hand. He had called for an ambulance without ever seeing if she was okay, just in case, he figured. But now that he could see the full scope of her injury. Blood was beginning to drip out onto the floor, most of it soaked into Yoongi's clothing. He was in the midst of trying to assure her everything was okay
"Just hold on," his voice hangs on his trembling lips, tears swelling in his eyes. He looks to Hoseok, the phone in his hand will on call with 911, calling to ask him to stay on the phone. "Help's coming. Just keep your eyes open." They both know damn well she's bleeding out far too fast for any ambulance to get in in time to save her. They don't know the extent of the damage, but at any rate, Yoongi was slowly gaining more and more of her blood on his clothing.
"Yoon." Eva's almost calmer than he is. Yoongi's hardly keeping it together, tears begin to stream his burning cheeks as he looks down at her. He holds her tight in his warm embrace and all she can think is that he doesn't smell so much like cigarettes anymore. She doesn't know if she misses it or not. "You smell nice." She's trying to distract from the fact that they both know all too well how this is going to end.
Yoongi can't help but smile meekly at her which she returns with all the brightness of a thousand stars. His star. He was finally seeing it as it currently exists which is to say it will exist no longer. His laughter soon devolves into quiet sobs. One hand was covered in her blood, and the other stroked her cheek, smearing a bit of his own blood against her skin. "I'm sorry."
He has a lot to be sorry about but now, the idea of whether he chooses to tell her he loves her or not seems so small and irrelevant now, doesn't it? Yoongi so very obviously loves her. He is in love with her, with every gesture she makes, every breath of laughter she lets out, every smile like this one. Yoongi is so head over heels in love and the fact that he never told her doesn't make a lick of a difference in how this ends.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry-" he chokes a bit, "that I couldn't keep you safe."
She was getting weaker, her smile faded, but still remained on her lips. It's reassuring. Eva didn't want to spend her last fleeting moments feeling resentment for the man she loves, the man so desperately grasping onto her, sobbing over her as the red liquid meant to be keeping her alive soaks his skin and clothes.
"I feel very safe right...now." She whispers to him. It's true. Eva almost wants to claim that she's never felt so safe, bleeding out in his arms surrounded by shards of glass. "Thank you for doing all that you could." There she was with that trying shit again. It doesn't matter if he actually spawned the results he wanted, all he had to do was try in order to get her praise. What good has trying done for him? Eva's dying in his arms. Yoongi didn't try hard enough.
If there was any time to tell her it was now. If they were the last words she ever heard, then so be it. At least she'd know that she was loved by him.
"I love you." He presses his forehead to hers, lips brushing softly. Her breaths are shallow, lips mouthing something hardly audible beyond his crying.
And then it stops. She draws in her last breath but it isn't expelled from her. It just remains there in her lungs and her once tense muscles relax all at once as she falls limp in her arms.
There's something so horrifying about seeing the small glint of life flicker out of someone's eyes. Something that will haunt him for the rest of his life. That sparkle in those pools of chocolate brown is just...gone. Everything that once made Eva...Eva was just...gone. The very essence of her was expelled from her body.
"Eva?" She doesn't respond, she's staring at the ceiling with a million-yard stare. There's nothing in them. They suddenly aren't Eva's eyes anymore, they're just...eyes, an anatomical feature every person had. Nothing about her was Eva anymore, just the threading together of parts which had no life, no meaning, no personality. It wasn't a person, just a body, a vessel that once housed a person.
And she had taken a piece of him with her.
Yoongi was overtaken with the undeniable, overwhelming urge not to let her feel alone though it's not like she's feeling much of anything now. He cradles her, crying in quiet, broken sobs with his head against hers. He rocks her gently, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, assures her that he's right here and he will be until they meet again.
And in some sick twist of fate, he can hear the sirens of the ambulance in the distance. Just a few minutes too late to do anything.
They come rushing in, 5 of them. 4 of them run over to Yoongi to care for him and the body in his arms while one goes to check on Hoseok who was now sitting on the ground with total and absolute devastation in his eyes. He's shellshocked.
They attempt to pry Eva from Yoongi's arms and find that it's harder than they imagined. He seemed steadfast in his intent to continue holding her, even as they try to reason with him. Soon that doesn't work and so they try to forcibly rip her away from him so they could help her if that was even a possibility at this rate. Yoongi still fought them tooth and nail, a wild animal backed into a corner, lashing out at anything and anyone that dared move closer to him.
Finally, Hoseok gets up, completely bypassing the EMT who asked him to stay where he was. He came to Yoongi, knelt down, and placed his hand on the man's shoulder. Yoongi looked at him with puffy, red eyes, filled with unrelenting tears.
"Let go."
It takes him a moment, but he does. Yoongi loosens his hold on Eva and allows them to take her. They don't bother to put her on a stretcher first. She was already clinically dead and they had to administer CPR immediately.
They tried for nearly 15 minutes, 15 long, excruciating minutes while the police came. People were beginning to crowd around, whispering amongst themselves as they looked on like this wasn't a real person, like she was just a spectacle for them. She was a real fucking person.
Sickening cracks ring out in the air at around 5 minutes, fractured and broken ribs from all the chest compressions. 10 minutes later is when they decide to stop and declare her dead. From here, they can only treat Yoongi's wounds while they await a vehicle to take her to a medical examiner.
"Who was she?" The EMT who busied herself cleaning the cuts on his hands asked.
Was. Such a degrading word. Who is she? Who will she always be? Someone as permanent and constant as Eva will never be a was, always an is.
"She's my girlfriend."
She hums like she's heard it a thousand times before, sob story after sob story. "Sorry for your loss."
His loss, his love. Same thing.
*.✧ Kᴀʏs Eɴᴅɪɴɢ Nᴏᴛᴇs
I'm not even gonna say anything. Leave your hate comments here, I will accept them with open arms. Curse and cry as much as you want, I will too.
Thank you all for reading. I hope you guys enjoyed, I wish you all an amazing day/night
사랑해
~Kay (｡•́︿•̀｡)