Naomi Black
"Matti. I'm going to throw up in point two five seconds if you don't get this hot-ass blanket off the top of me." I warned as his eyes flew open, yanking the blanket off of me. I sat up, feet dangling from the side of the bed because they couldn't reach the ground.
I took deep breaths and swallowed hard.
I had the worst fucking heartburn in the world.
I heard him sit up behind me. "You want me to carry you to the bathroom?" He asks as I hold up my hand. I wanted him to shut up. However, he seemed off this morning?
I covered my mouth with one hand, and I slowly rose from the bed. I needed a glass of water and the morning sickness would go away. "Babe, just go throw up. Get it over with, princess."
I uncovered my mouth. "Mattison Joey if you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to throw up on you," I yelled as I heard him go silent.
I was sweating uncontrollably, and I felt like I was two seconds from vomiting everywhere.
I didn't want to throw up–I fucking hated throwing up.
I opened the fridge and pulled out one of the waters Matti had insisted I drank, I slowly sipped at it. I stood near the kitchen sink–just in case it did flow out of my mouth.
I set the bottle to the side, my elbows resting on the counter my hands held my head. I leaned over, closing my eyes. His hands rubbed my back.
"What's wrong?" He asks as I groan. "You're warm." He states as I nod.
But he didn't seem like my Matti?
But even the nodding made me nauseous.
I heard him open a drawer, and then run the water in the sink next to me.
Suddenly a cold cloth was on the back of my neck. "This is exactly why you need to come with me to Detriot, baby."
"Not the time to argue Matti, our baby hates me right now." He chuckled at my warning.
"I read your notes," I perked up at his words. "I agree, we should keep the J." I chuckled, biting my arm, trying to focus on not throwing up in the drain right next to me.
I rest my forehead against my forearm, I hear him sigh, his hand under my shirt–rubbing my warm back. "It's only supposed to last for six more weeks," I state as he chuckles.
"Heartburn means the baby will have loads of hair," He states as I chuckle. "Mattison," I state as he hums. "You're not even the slightest bit mad that I'm pregnant?" I ask.
I feel another wave of nausea hit me. I swallow hard, continuing to breathe.
"Why would I be mad?" He asks.
I slowly lift my head from my arms. He removes his hand from my back, stepping to the side of me. Leaning next to me on the counter.
And that's when I can't hold it in anymore.
I step around the lanky boy and quickly run to one of the powder rooms, immediately throwing myself in front of the toilet. Matti wasn't long behind me, holding my hair back–crouching down behind me and rubbing my back.
I felt tears slip out of my eyes from the pressure and pain of the heartburn and throw up.
"I could never be mad at you for something like this." He states as I chuckle, sniffling. My hand reaches up and flushes the toilet. "Seriously, this is crazy and he might be coming at the most unexpected time but it's life and we have to deal with it." I heard his smile through his voice.
"She." is all I respond with as he lets out a laugh.
"She or he will come out with loads of hair." He states as I laugh.
"I need to shower. I need to get ready for the day, and I need to stuff my face with food." I slowly rise from sitting on the ground. "What do you want to eat?" He asks as I chuckle.
"Surprise me, but if I come out to see that smoothie of yours–I will leave." He puts his hands up in defense. I watch as he walks out of the bathroom.
"Matti! Sweet! Something sweet and sugary!" I call out to him.
"Artificial sugar isn't good for the baby!" He calls out as I ignore him.
He was deprived of sugar as a kid because of his athleticism. I wasn't deprived because I was forced– I was deprived because we couldn't afford it.
I could afford a million chocolate chip pancakes now. So that means whatever my kid wants to eat, they can eat.
I walk out of the powder room and enter the hallway- into the next restroom with the shower. I reach for the towels and walk over to the shower and freeze.
"Matti! How do you work this thing?" I yell as I hear him walk in–phone in hand. He chuckles as I point at all of the buttons. "You don't know how to work this shower?" He asks as I glare.
"This thing has a million heads. I just need one." I point to all of them.
"If you get bored their all detachable." He smirks at me as he turns on the water for me, the person on the other end of the phone laughing. "Thank you," I state as he smiles.
He exits, shutting the door behind him. I walk to the linen closet, grabbing towels before stripping off my clothes. I look in the mirror.
I turned to the side staring in the mirror.
I still looked like all of the gluten I ate was infesting my stomach.
I stepped into the shower–reaching for Matti's shampoo and conditioner.
The number of hair products this kid had was more than what Sloane and I had in our shower caddies freshman year alone. I felt so much better after throwing up.
"NJ?" Matti asked walking into the bathroom. I squealed. "Mattison!" I yelled as he chuckled.
"You're pregnant. With my child." He reminds me as I groan.
"Room service will be here in ten." He states as he stares at my naked body for one moment longer. I watch as he nods at me before walking out. I chuckle, I could only hope that he would look at me the same when I was nine months and swollen everywhere.
Last night, I wish I could've said I fell asleep as fast as I thought I would've.
I wanted nothing more than to be with him for the baby and me.
But I just couldn't jump back into us.
He leaves and then he comes back. He always comes back and then leaves. And then he comes and then he leaves. He rips my heart into fucking pieces.
It wasn't worth hurting me all over again.
I quickly rinsed out my hair and washed my body before stepping out. I wrapped the towels around me. I carefully walked to the sink, brushed my teeth, and walked out of the bathroom.
"Clothes are on my bed!" I heard him call out as I walked into the bedroom.
I chuckled.
It was his new jersey and another pair of sweats.
I quickly threw them on before heading out of the bedroom- into the living room. His back was to me as I sat on the couch. I reached for the notebook inside of my bag and a pen.
He whistled.
"Well damn, isn't that jersey cute on you?" He teases as I chuckle. He sets a cup of coffee in front of me. "You know how to make coffee?" I ask as he chuckles.
"I googled it." I gasped and then applauded.
I took a sip and then grimaced.
"Matti, what the fuck is this?" I ask as he chuckles. "It's decaf coffee. You can't have regular coffee." I narrowed my eyes at him.
"First my water, then my sugar, and now my caffeine!" I yell as he shrugs. "I can't be the mommy and the daddy in this parentship." He teases as I groan.
I focus back down at the pages as I pick up my pen again.
Dear whatever your name may be,
I've decided to start writing to you just in case you ever felt lonely. I only ever had the moon to talk to, but you deserve more than the moon.
I'm so obsessed with you already. Daddy thinks that this whole pregnancy thing is his lifestyle. It's not.
If something were to ever happen to me- eat all of the sugar you want. Don't play the sport if you don't want to.
Don't become a brat like daddy.
Whoever you are- whatever you become, be proud of yourself.
Someday, you will be life-changing for someone. You already are to me!
I love you to the moon and stars,
Mommy.
"Are you already shit-talking me as a dad?" I jump as his voice is heard right next to my ear. He chuckles. "Never," I state as he hums, kissing the top of my wet head.
I pause.
He pauses.
"I'm sorry, it was a force of habit." He tries to defend me as I nod. "It's okay," I smile at him as he nods.
Why was he acting so weird? Standoffish, almost?
The elevator dings and the food is delivered. I walk over to the kitchen, grabbing plates as Matti chuckles.
"NJ, the tray has plates." He states as I blush. "I knew that," He chuckles.
"Holy shit, we aren't feeding a football team!" I exclaim as I see the dozens of fruits, pancakes, waffles, bacon, and sausages. He chuckles, loading food on a plate.
I think it's for himself until he hands it to me.
"Matti. I can't eat all of that, I'll throw up." I warn as he smiles. "First–you are feeding a football player. Second, you need to feed yourself so you have energy for the day." I glare at him as his dimples pop out of the sides of his cheeks from smiling so hard.
What if I wasn't feeding a football player?
What if I was feeding a ballerina? Or a soccer player? What about a competitive cheerleader? What if she was a scientist?
I sit down at the dining room table, at the end. Waiting for him to sit at the opposite end of me, but he doesn't. He sits next to me. "Eat," He nods towards my plate as I pick at the strawberries.
I hope you're a girl.
"Are you okay? You're acting a bit–weird today?" I ask as he hums. I give him a look. "Nope. Nothing is wrong," He states innocently.
"Oh. By the way, Reese and Blake told me to tell you to call them." I froze, swallowing a strawberry. "About what?" I asked as he chuckled.
"I don't know–I didn't tell them anything. Did you?" He asks as I huff.
And by my reaction, he sits upsetting his silverware to the side.
He narrows his eyes, "What did Blake do?" He asks as I chuckle.
"Blake suggested that I had options and I needed to take them because I was ruining your career but I told him I wasn't pregnant because at the time I wasn't." He gave me a confused look.
"And Reese's mom let the news slip to Reese, and Reese punched a hole in my door," I whispered out the last part as I saw Matti's knuckles turn white.
"You mean–he punched a hole in your door because you were pregnant? He got aggressive?" He tries to clarify as I nod.
"Matti. It's fine-" He cuts me off. "He punched a hole in your door!" He exclaimed as I nodded.
"Why?" He asks as I take a huge bite of food, that way I wouldn't have to answer him. "Oh so now you want to eat? What the fuck is wrong with you that you didn't tell me about this!" He exclaims as I continue to take his words with a grain of salt.
He was just being overprotective.
I was pregnant and Reese punched a hole in a door in front of me.
I swallowed my food.
"He was excited," I state as he gives me a look. "Yep–he was excited so he punched a hole." I try to backtrack as he shakes his head.
"What aren't you telling me?" He accuses me as I shake my head.
"Nothing. This food is yummy." I continue as his knuckles turn to normal color again. He cleared his throat. "You know your uncle texted me early this morning." He states as I sigh.
Could I have one moment of peace in my life– ever?
"He asked what I was doing or if I could call him." He takes a sip of his juice. "It was three in the morning when we talked on the phone. He said he and Helen couldn't sleep because they were terrified for you." He continued to rant as I coughed.
"Matti. Just shut up we were having such a good morning and night yesterday, please stop." I plead as he shakes his head.
"You want to constantly hide stuff from me, that's fine. But when I already know the answer, just tell me." I look at him confused as he shook his head.
"I was up last night because your phone kept going off. The text's from Reese." I sat back in my seat as everything inside of me crumpled. "You went through my phone," I state as he sighs.
"I didn't go through it but I saw what was on the lock screen." He explained as I pushed my chair back, standing up. "No, we're talking about this Naomi." He states as I chuckle.
"No, you're making this so hard on us Matti! It's not a big deal–I don't feel the same towards him!" I exclaim. I'm in the kitchen, how did things go from good to bad?
"We are talking everything out now, so we can move on." He follows me as I groan.
"My best friend is in love with you!" He exclaims as I chuckle. "I don't understand what's funny about that? It's sick as fuck! It's heartbreaking for me!" He yells as I groan, throwing my wet hair into a bun.
"We need to talk or it's not going to end well for us, NJ." He states as I chuckle.
I spin on my feet.
"I didn't want to tell you about Reese because I didn't want to ruin your friendship." I defend as he chuckles. "And what about emptying your savings? Scared that I wasn't going to be a good dad?" He teases as I furrow my eyebrows.
"You're being so insensitive, sometimes. You know how things have hurt me, I was just trying to protect myself and the baby." I rant as he nods.
"Quit focusing on the past that's all you do! The past doesn't need you–your future does! You're so stubborn sometimes, I'm trying to help us, I'm not leaving you!" He yells at me, my lip quivers.
And suddenly I wasn't feeling so good.
I gripped the counter in front of me as I started to sweat. I felt hot, and I started to cramp, really bad.
I cried out.
"You're going to ruin the baby's happy ending before it even has a chance of having one!" He continues to rant as I gasp.
"Matti," I state his name as he walks away from me.
"Matti," I repeat as he continues to walk down the hallway.
I cried out again, gasping in pain. "Matti!" I called for him.
I knew this wasn't good whatever was happening, I needed to go to the doctor now.
I slowly sat down, leaning my back against the dishwasher. I close my eyes, holding my hands against my stomach. I would never forgive myself if what I think was happening was happening.
I hear his footsteps walk down the hallway.
"NJ?" He calls out as I whimper.
I hear him chuck whatever was in his hands on the island as he walks around and sees me. He gasps, "What's wrong?" He asks as I shake my head. "I need to go to the hospital," I state as he grabs me.
I lay in his arms, sweating- cramping. I let out a breath. "Matti, it hurts so bad." I cry as he presses the elevator button immortality stepping into it.
He stays silent, poker face.
I could feel how red I was turning from the heat. The elevator stopped, we were in the garage. "Car. Now." He called out to the valet. He grabbed the keys and ran to a vehicle with me in his arms. He opens the backseat, laying me in. He slams the door before rushing to his side, turning on the car.
"Are you bleeding?" He asks-stepping on the gas. I stay silent.
I didn't want to answer that question and I didn't want to check to see if I was.
"NJ," He whispers my name. I feel pale white looking at him as he looks at me through the mirror. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things to you." He looks me in the eyes before I close them.
I let out a breath of air.
"It's okay," I state as he speeds in the city.
"I'm sorry. I-" I pause, my stomach cramping. "I shouldn't have hidden the stuff from you intentionally. Reese and you already had enough drama and I love you way too much to be with anyone else." I rushed out as he stayed silent.
"I was just scared you didn't want us when the whole world was there to offer you everything." I cried as I watched his hand cover his mouth.
"I love you so much," I state as he nods. "I love you and I'm sorry about everything–I was already jealous of Reese and everyone expects me to be a horrible father. I promise I won't be–I read the letters, I know you were just scared." He apologizes.
He turned down an alleyway, speeding before turning into the entrance of a hospital. He pulled into the emergency lane before rushing out of the car, to me. He carried me inside, a worker immediately rushing towards us- freezing when she saw Matti. "She's pregnant. She's ten weeks, we got into an argument, she's cramping." The woman wearing scrubs nodded.
Two more people came behind the woman, with a gurney. "Sir, just lay her down here." Matti walked towards the gurney before laying me on top. I wasn't having the intense cramping anymore. I started to get wheeled, but Matti wasn't following.
"He can't come?" I asked. The two men looked down at me, nodding. "He will be back as soon as you come out of the emergency." They state as I sigh.
I would never forgive myself.
Matti Williams
I walked outside of the hospital, the phone in my hands. "Yo–what's up bro?" Griffin's voice speaks out through the speaker. I let out a sob as I hear him move around through the receiver, "Matti?" He asks as I clear my throat. "Come to the hospital, please? I messed up. She's going to never forgive me." I heard him suck in a breath.
"On my way, Nat is coming." The line went dead as I sucked in a breath of air.
Yesterday was such a good day, it was beyond a good day. I was happy for Naomi and me–truly.
I was over the moon when it came to her pregnancy, over the moon.
I was already having a tough time sleeping last night. I was too obsessed with the idea that my future was in my hands. It was two-thirty in the morning when I heard her phone going off from the kitchen. Ringing and vibrating, calls and texts.
I huffed and got out of bed.
I walked into the kitchen, her phone reading Reese's messages. Almost thirteen missed calls and ten messages.
The messages consisted of: I'm sorry that I love you, I can't help that I love you, You can't help that you love him, I'm sorry for being upset, You deserve the world, Congratulations.
I almost went and woke her up right then and there.
But I took a deep breath and let her sleep, she was pregnant she needed her sleep. I then decided to accept a phone call from Coach.
"Yes, coach?" I spoke into the receiver as he chuckled. "You're alive!" He exclaimed as I smiled. "Barely," I responded. "Where's my niece?" I chuckled. "In my bed," I state.
I heard him suck in his breath.
"Do you..." He leads off as I chuckled. "Yes, I know she's pregnant," I state as he sighs. "And you're staying?" He asks as I chuckle again.
"Why would I leave?" I throw the question back at him. He sighed, "Matti. You had just as much reason to leave as she had to stay." I frowned at his words.
"This baby–that's tough work. You guys need to hash out these bumps in the road and then get your shit together. You can't bring a baby into problems. The little one doesn't deserve that." I groan.
"I know," I agree.
"Ask Naomi tomorrow if the money transferred, please?" I chuckled. "What money? She doesn't need money. I have money," I defend as he sighs again. "Matti, she didn't believe you wouldn't leave. She put on a good act, but I saw right through it." He continued.
I clenched the phone in my hands.
"Matti?" I heard a woman's voice on the other end. I frowned, "Yes, Helen?" I ask as she chuckled. "Her mom had high blood pressure the entire pregnancy. Naomi must stay healthy–you treat her nicely, please." I heard her clear her throat.
"She's the only thing I have left of her mother's, and Crystal would come down from the night sky if she knew I let you let something happen to her." She warned as I chuckled.
"She will be fine, I promise." My voice was thick with emotion when we had hung up.
She lied to me–she hid things from me. As if we didn't have these problems before–now I have to deal with Reese and a pregnancy? I reach into her bag, pulling out the rest of the photos and the letters she wrote to me.
Sighing, I traced my fingers over the tiny bean. I set the photos aside and slowly opened the notes.
"Dear Matti,
Our communication fell off.
Not as bad as it could've but it dropped.
It was okay though- you still didn't know anything, nobody knew anything except for the girls and for now, I wanted it to stay that way.
Now that I know why I'm feeling like such shit all of the time, I decided it was time to start listening to my body- or my baby?
I had a doctor's appointment today, and yesterday we had to pick a name out of a hat to see who was going to be my step-in daddy for the day. Natalie of course partook in the game as well.
Finn and Sloane are on their way to the airport right now to go pick her up. Finn tried to get me to go, but I declined.
Even if I wanted to go, Sloane wouldn't let me in fear that she could hit a garbage can and kill the baby.
Or as they say "their niece''.
To be honest Matti, I don't think it's a girl- I think it's a little boy. If you did want him or her, or whatever they decided to be- I know you'd love them. Not because they're part of you, but because I know you'd make the absolute best dad in the entire world.
We'd make such a great team.
You'd be on bottle duty while I'm on diapers during the night. I'm pretty sure if you had milk ducts- you would even try to pump for me.
God, Matti. I'm so excited.
There are all things I couldn't just text to you, or tell you over the phone. I just can't wait to see you and show you all of the amazing things that our baby is accomplishing every day.
I just really love you and I can't wait to see you soon.
Love,
Mommy and baby. (9 weeks?)"
I chuckled. It was going to be a boy–no doubt about it. I wouldn't mesh well with a daughter, I wouldn't even know how to act. I would just probably throw money at her until she felt loved because I couldn't make sports talk with a little girl.
She truly didn't want to hide this from me as she did about Coach and Reese.
She wanted to tell me when the time was right.
I slowly closed that one and then opened the next letter.
Dear Matti,
I am scared.
I know it will be okay though- with any outcome. Don't get mad, I went to the first doctor's appointment a couple of days ago. It went amazing and I can't wait for you to hear the baby's heartbeat. It was a moment that I'll never forget and I hope that you would never forget it as well. I hope you get the chance to hear it- I hope you don't give up on us. I know you'll be scared at first, but it will be okay. There isn't one obstacle that we haven't faced that we haven't gotten through together. Matti- we were looking at names. Well, the girls and I were.
I've decided- the 'J' thing is staying with our babies forever.
We're so proud of you and you don't even know there's a baby involved in us yet! You have another person cheering you on! Whatever the distance is, we can make it work.
I was doing deep thinking tonight and maybe if you want we could do the first year with the baby at grandma and grandpa's house? I think it's perfect.
I know it's not butlers and nannies galore, but we could do it without them.
Bean is what Finn started calling the baby today
I'm scared of the fact that you'll be mad at me. That's honestly the worse scenario. I know that our life will be crazy with a baby but I'm willing to give up nursing for a few years to finish our dream together. We could do it- and we'd make an amazing team.
This is going to sound disgusting to you, but literally, my boobs are so sore. This means that I'm going to be lactating soon, that's crazy- right? You did this to me!
God- I'm just so happy Matti.
Whether you want the baby or not, just know that you have helped me have my happy ending in more ways than one. However, I don't want him or her to have another dad.
Please stay with us, Matti.
We deserve it.
Mommy and baby. ( Still nine weeks but we're about to tell daddy!)
P.S. LOOK AT MY FIRST PICTURE DADDY!
My heart warmed at this letter. She truly was scared that I was going to leave her, but I never was. She was it for me and so was this baby. The baby was the sign I had been looking for.
However, coach's words stuck with me.
We needed to work things out because we couldn't bring a baby up in this mess.
I just needed Noami to tell me what happened behind her thought about draining her trust fund, and I needed to know whether I could call Reese my friend or not.
"Matti!" Griffin yelled as he ran over to me, Natalie not far behind. I stood up from the curb as he reached me, wrapping me in his arms in a huge hug. "You okay bro–" He was yanked off of me.
"What did you do to bean?" Natalie seethed at me as I frowned.
"What happened?" Griffin asked as I couldn't move to speak words. "Matti, is she okay?" Natalie continued as I shrugged, the tears pooling again at the bottom of my eyes. "Is the baby okay?" And that's when I broke down.
"Baby? What baby?" Griffin asks a Natalie gasps. "Oh my god, Matti–what happened?" Natalie hugs me. "I tried to get her to tell me why she kept holding information behind my back! Like draining her savings because she thought I wouldn't want them or Reese confessing his love for her! She started crying and I walked out of the kitchen because I didn't want to see her cry. And then she called out my name–" I gasp for air in between tears.
"She called out my name and it was like, I felt her pain split through me. She sounded so desperate for help, and she never asks for help–I walked away from her for two seconds! I came back and she was on the ground–clutching her stomach and whimpering. She was cramping, hot to touch–sweating like crazy." Natalie pulled back from me, shaking her head.
"I know," I state as she shakes her head at me.
"Why would you do that! You knew she was pregnant! Why did you feel the need to add stress to her!" Natalie starts yelling, Griffin's eyes get wide- looking around, making sure we weren't being recognized.
"Natalie, it's okay. We don't need to blame people here." Griffin tries to calm her as I sniffle. "She has a good chance of having high blood pressure," I state as Nat frowns.
"Coach told me that last night, her mom had it too," I explained as Griffin leaned in–hugging me, patting my back for another moment.
"She will be okay. She and the baby will be okay." He states as I bit my lip.
I fucking hoped so.
I would never forgive myself.
I nod towards the doors and we walk in, as soon as we do–a doctor was already looking around, searching for me. I rush up to him, "Mattison Williams," I reach my hand out to shake as he doesn't shake back.
Okay.
"Mr. Williams, and who are the other two guests?" He asks as I point back towards them. "Natalie Reagan and Griffin Johnson," I spoke. He nods, "You don't care if they listen?" He asks as I shake my head.
"Okay. Miss Black is responding to treatment well, she needed loads of fluids. She is okay." I bite my lip.
"And be—baby." Natalie cuts herself off.
"Baby is fine. You got really lucky this time. Yes, she was stressed, her blood pressure was extremely high–that's very dangerous for a pregnant woman. But, her cramping wasn't a miscarriage or any type of that, it was just the baby settling on the wall of the womb." He states as the blood rushes back into my face, I sigh out a deep breath of relief.
"Thank you so much," I spoke exasperatedly as he nods. "Yes, please be careful with her. You all may go back and see her now. One at a time though—please." I shake hands with him this time.
"Matti or Nat? Who wants to go first?" Griffin asks as I nod for Natalie.
"Nat, she'd appreciate hearing more from you right now than me." She gives me a small smile and then a hug.
Griffin and I walk over to the chairs and sit. He clears his throat.
"You got extremely lucky." He states, looking at the television. I nod, blowing air through my lips. "It's going to haunt me for the rest of my life," I state as I watch him frown.
"Baby is okay though," He reminds me as I nod.
"Yeah, but my baby mama isn't and neither is my relationship with her." He cleared his throat. "Can I be honest?" He asks as I nod.
"This whole Detriot and Pennslyvania thing–will be good for you guys. We're in preseason right now. I think that you could come to see her or vice versa whenever you both are free. You guys need to work on this. One day at a time, need to be more open, I know you two are madly in love with each other– I do believe you guys will get married, you guys just need some distance to appreciate each other. She can stay with Nat if she wants to. That way she has a mom friend," I barely catch the end of his sentence.
"Wait," I state freezing, a small smile appearing on his face.
"Dad friends with matching beach houses?" He asks opening his arms for a hug as I squeeze him. "It will all work out, in the end, Matti. I promise. You two just need some time." He reassures me as I smile.
Heels on the floor, approaching us broke us away from our hug. "Matti–she's asking for you. She didn't want to talk to me," She chuckled as I smiled at her, pulling her in for a hug. "Thanks for coming guys." They both nodded.
"Do this again–and I'll fucking kill you," Natalie gave me the crazy eye as I frowned–nodding.
I walked down the hallway and slowly turn the door handle. When I walk in, all of the emotions I had outside hit me again. She had two IV bags running into either hand and she laid them into the pillows.
"Naomi-" She cut me off by waving me over. I sit on the edge of her bed. She frowns, reaching for my hands.
"I am so sorry. This won't ever happen again–I can't even explain to you how I feel and you probably could explain the fear you had either. I'm sorry, for whatever I did that affected you and the baby." I spoke, tears falling out of my eyes.
She frowns, her cold hands holding mine.
"I love you." She states. I nod.
"I love you too," I respond she nods.
"We need to fix us before we have the baby." She concludes as I nod.
"Whatever happened, is in the past. I won't ever bring it up anymore and I'm sorry." She rushed out as I shushed her. "It's fine–don't be upset. It's okay." I try to relax her as she cries.
"I felt like the worst mom ever–I had lost the baby before I had even given it the happy ending it deserved." I frowned at her words knowing they were mine. Tears were flowing from her eyes, I leaned up to wipe them, taking her in my arms and kissing her forehead.
"You're going to be the best mom the world has ever seen and I'm sorry for putting you in this position." I leaned back as she sobbed in my arms.
"I just think it's funny how my mom almost lost me to her addiction and I almost just lost my baby to my addiction." She laughed through her tears as I frowned.
I was her addiction?
"I think we aren't okay right now, but we love each other-" She hiccups. I nodd, wiping more of her tears. "I want this life more than anything with you but we can't continue to rush something that isn't ready to be rushed." She sniffles.
"I need to go with Nat and you need to go to Detriot. We can be in a relationship–we just need space until the pregnancy gets hard. We just need to need each other but not in a toxic way because all three of us deserve happy endings in our books-" I nod, my lip quivering.
"Please don't close the book because I fucking love you that it's unhealthy. I love our baby, I love our life, I love your disgusting smoothies–we just need time." She finishes her rant.
I kiss her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm with you two for the rest of my life." I rest my forehead against hers as she nods, tears still falling down her face.
It was just a crease into the page of their happy ending–that's all.
hey besties,
I promise- last curveball chapter- but we made it through:)
PLEASE DONT HATE ME—THERE ARE GOOD THINGS COMING.
I had to capture Matti's reaction perfectly to Reese- I'm sorry I scared you guys.
This was super long and I hope you all enjoyed it- there was so much I needed to cover and I hoped you all enjoyed it, don't worry- happy ending is still on it's way. Just relax and trust me.
Also around 13 or so chapters left! Blake and Sloane's book is currently being written!
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
Connect with me!
Instagram: thinkingofthoughtswrites
VOTE AND COMMENT