『We don't live alone on this earth we are all responsible for each other.』
Day thirty-three: flood
Izuku shoots his eyes open as a rush of cold washes over him. His body aches as a pounding in his head. His body tries to move two different ways causing strain from each side. "That's odd." Izuku says. "I can't move my arm-"
"why won't you let me go?" Midoriya shouts.
"What? Midoriya?" Izuku questions feeling like he's missing a part of himself.
"Where are you Izuku. Stop taking over me! Let me move!" The greenett says struggling.
"I can't you're stuck- let go!" Izuku says straining his mind to part with the other.
"No you're not here. I'm me. This was my body! Not yours." Midoriya complains, struggling again.
"This is my body, stop trying to-" Izuku pauses realising he's not in the void.
"What? Why'd you pause?" Midoriya asks stopping as well.
"Split." He says. "We can't split."
"Wow you're a genius Izuku." Midoriya says sarcastically.
"No not like that I mean we can't physically split. We're fused? This isn't the void either. You're in my mind." Izuku explains.
"This is my body." Midoriya says again.
"Okay okay, I get it it's your body but why am I-" Midoriya cuts Izuku off.
"No Izuku I mean this is literally my body. Not a clone. This is me. We're not in the void because somehow you've trapped us in my old body."
"Oh." Izuku says, trying to process what he said. "Midoriya?" He asks out. "Yes Izuku?"
"You're me aren't you. The part of me that shows life?" Izuku whispers.
"I am. And like any good coin you are the other side. You show death."
The two fall silent. "I don't like this Midoriya." Izuku whispers. The boy sighs. "Izuku Will you let me go?"
"No, you show me things. I learn from you." The greenett laughs. "Izuku I'm dead." He says.
"I can't stay any longer. I have to leave."
"Don't leave me alone." Izuku begs. "I want you here."
"How about a parting gift?" Midoriya asks. "I'll show you who you need to remember. And when you need my memories, you'll have my heart."
Izuku whines feeling his fusion to the other fade. "I'm being forced out. It's survival of the fittest. Eri brought us back. Use that. You can beat him." Midoriya says.
"Us? You said us?" Izuku smiles happily. The connection fades completely and for a moment Izuku's back in the void face to face with his twin. "Goodbye." Midoriya says fading into tiny pieces and merging with the darkness.
Suddenly the darkness cracks open letting gray stream in. Is this what Midoriya wanted him to see?
He's up right in a room. He feel like he's floating and he can't feel his feet. They're numb like when you're too cold. But the room feels too hot. His body feels the strange clash of temperature and reacts by numbing the rest of his body. "Great." Izuku mutters.
He can still sense it. The room feels warm, too warm it leaves a prickly feeling against his skin. Fighting the numbness. He doesn't like it.
The room however feels different, other than the heat. It's plain and minimalistic. White walls. Black bed. It's not his fathers room. "Where did you send me?" Izuku asks out, waiting for Midoriya's explanation.
"Don't be afraid of him. He is not your foe." Midoriya rings out.
"I'm so glad your still here." Izuku sighs out.
A memory pounds at his head breaking free from the invisible chains of his fathers manipulation.
"Be quick Izuku. Shout." Midoriya command. "Shout what?" Izuku whispers feeling uneasy. This feels like a test. "Aizawa, shout for him. Make him hear you!" Izuku wheezes out clenching his eyes shut tight as pain rips his throat. "I can't- it hurts." He whispers. "I know. It's him. I don't have much time."
What does that mean? Why does talking hurt? Why does his throat feel tight. Cold pale fingers claw at his neck. The same feeling of suffocation comes back. Izuku's felt it before. He hates it.
His blunt nails do little damage but he still tries to pull away the skin. Anything to get some air to his lungs. Anything to keep him-. "No! No! No! It's happening again!" He croaks louder out as a flood of memories rush his brain like a brain freeze. "I'm sorry." Midoriya says guiltily. "But I don't have time, I have to force them on to you."
It's a very big, very painful, brain freeze. Izuku freezes.
The silver damn breaks and his fathers hold releases completely. He feels a sharp scratch on his arm and watches a small bead of blood trickle down to his hand.
What was that? Did someone just jab him? Memories go shattering through his mind all at once. Knocking any knew thoughts flying. Another cut appears cutting into his shoulder. "Why?" Izuku begs voice soft.
Why is this sending pain through his whole body. Wave after wave of stifling heat followed by freezing cold. Another cut on his leg. One on his cheek. His hand. Feet. Legs. Arms. Back. Stomach. More and more. Blood pooling and pouring. Why? Why why why? "Midoriya-" Izuku chokes. "Call him- say his name-" the voice replies patchily.
"Za..." Izuku starts. "Aza-" he tries again. "Close-" Izuku screws his eyes shut. "Aizawa!" He screams out almost to a full on panic attack or something close to it. He's not hyperventilate he doesn't really seem to be breathing only wines and gasps seem to happen.
The room glitches showing another room behind it. It's like he's in a green screen. Somethings being hidden. Concealed.
In the distance Izuku hears a door close harshly and loud bang against the wall. The boy flinches letting out a pained whine. Maybe he should lay back. Try to calm down and figure out what's happening.
He gently tilts his body back until he's resting flat on the bed. He tries to ignore the new memories that Midoriya just pushed into his mind instead working with what he knows.
1)He was laying sick on his futon in his fathers room.
2) a doctor decided to help him and they made him sleep for what he's guessing is the procedure.
3) he woke up startled when it felt like his whole body had been jabbed and floods of memories started pooling into his mind.
4) he called out a name then panicked.
5) he's laying down in what he thinks is the old room in the house, trying to go through his new information.
Closing his eyes he thinks back to the earliest memories he can. He's a young boy maybe 4? He's at the doctors with a woman... his mother and they're talking about quirks.
Right that's a good start he knows his father has many quirks and he was always told he was quirkless. But his father also said his mother left him. Didn't his father save him when he was 4? Did his mother leave because he had no quirk?
Think Izuku what memories come next?
Being hugged by a boy. Seems to be the same age. They were in a park
and he was crying? The other boy has a bloody nose and blond spiky hair. The hero boy? From the goo that Midoriya made him watch. Thinking back now that he's seen Midoriya, that boy in the memory looks just like him. Is that what Midoriya ment when he said he was the original? Was that why he's being shown this?
Keep going find another!
Being made fun off when the blond was away. Why isn't he around? Izuku was 6? Running off and finding a private garden with beautiful flowers. Looking closer and finding another boy asleep in a bush. He was beaten up so Izuku hugged him until he woke up.
Who was that?
Who cares find more! Find more!!
Izuku was 10 he was the only quirkless kid in the school. He had the blond friend he called "Kacchan" and a note book?
It's Kacchan the blond is this Kacchan he and Eri where talking about. Midoriya must have a connection to him. He's seeing all these memories from Midoriya's perspective!
Izuku and Kacchan were 13. Izuku had led the blond to the garden to meet the other boy. Izuku had called him shochan? He wasn't as beaten up today yet Izuku still fussed about.
Okay two names to two faces. This is good.
Izuku was 14 and running at a villain. He has Kacchan stuck and was suffocating him. The heroes weren't helping! Why weren't they helping?
This is a familiar one. One he's seen too many times. Even after he'd been forced to watch it, it would still creep into his mind. And now with the knowledge of himself and Midoriya, and deku and Kacchan-
"Need some help kid?"
Izuku made a deal.
Oh god. It all makes so much sense. So many things, so many gaps and inconsistencies. This wasn't real. He wasn't real. Midoriya- deku- Izuku was right. "I'm a clone." Izuku whispers. He was made. Tailored to his fathers liking. That's why his hair is white. Why he's called shigaraki. His sickly body was all intended. His father- was he even his real father?
"Yes. He is. I wish it wasn't true but he's definitely our father. We look identical to his brother. We look similar to him. And the records. How he talks about our mother.
We may be an only child but he is still our father."
Oh. Izuku feels his heart break. He's being tortured, tormented all for his father's amusement. And he had no idea? How many times has his father had to start over because Izuku remembered something he wasn't supposed to? Will he be terminated now that he knows? Can he hide it?
Izuku snaps out of his thoughts just before he saw the face of the person he made a deal with. "No," he whispers. Longing for the memories to come back. "Let me find him." Izuku begs. "I can't keep living like this."
He looks around spooked when Loud heavy footsteps sound. They echo off the wall followed by a voice. It's yelling out? More like projecting. Father. Father's back.
"Izuku." That's his name.
"Izuku." 'Is that you! You're back! Where? Where were you! Are you okay?' A memory overlaps in his head. Triggered by the word.
The boys heard a few mumbled 'please please please' in his head, that rattled with a voice from his old memories. Not Midoriya's, a much later memory. One where he was already dead but not in this hell hole.
Before he could dig deeper a bang at the door is heard. "Locked?" A voice asks. There's two more bangs. The door breaks in easily and a man walks through. "There you are~ oh my dear, I've missed you."
'There you are! Hay- Izuku hay! Hay? Izuku can you hear me?'
Izuku shakes his head to clear the memory overlap. He can't get distracted he had to focus on the man in front of him.
The boy looks up owlish eyes trailing around the surroundings. The distraction is enough to silence the pain and voices but Izukus eyes still well up.
"I'm here?" He mumbles feeling tears roll down his cheeks. That's a good sign. Dead people can't cry so this is a good thing... right? He's not dead, even if that's how he feels. "You should be dead Izuku." Midoriya reminds. "You've been gone more than 30 days- I wish you'd move on."
Izuku's body trembles violently as a new memory forces it's way to the front, "I'm cold." He says wrapping his thin arms around him. His lip puff out in a pout. As he snuggles down into the bed.
The older man snorts trying to breath normally. "God problem child I can't with your priorities. Are you really cold? I've had this nightmare before where you disappear as soon as I find you. Poof zukughost vanishes" Izuku winces at the mans words. Just How much griefs and regret has he caused. How many people has he affected with his pathetic excuses. Why did he let himself die?
Izuku can't even begin to think of the emotions that tie to that
memory. Did that happen? He was happy and dead? No father just Zawa? Dadzawa? There is one main emotion. He's feeling guilty. it's all his fault. He couldn't do enough. He wasn't enough
What would happen if he was back there?
"I-I'm sorry Aizawa. It's all my fault. I'm really here. I don't want to leave you again..." but I probably will, Goes unsaid.
"You gave me a heart attack I thought we lost you." The man says snapping Izuku attention again. Izuku mumbles slouching his raised posture, stumbling slightly over forming words. "This was never your fault problem child. You're just caught up in it."
He wants to go home. Take him home. He's needs to go home-
Izuku floats just above the clouds curled around himself in a tight ball. He's keeping his eyes on the man below. The man is picking him up. His body is there. He can see it. He can never unsee it. "Sorry..." the green eyed boy apologises down.
His death was not a pretty one.
There's two dark eyes glowing red with floating hair defying gravity. He cowers under the pressure. "I Um didn't know I was gonna...you know..." Izuku says breaking eye contact to fiddle with his fingers. "...die again." He says lightly.
"Again?" The man says coming closer. The word is a repeat of what Izuku said, well a part of it. The man doesn't try to hide the protective side of his voice nor the anger that's poorly hidden.
"I did this for you. Just because I've lost some control doesn't mean you're free to the world.
"The fact someone had attempted to meddle with life and death was worrying enough but the fact it had happened multiple time?" Gosh Aizawa can barely imagine the trauma. "Zuku i'm going to protect you, okay?"
The boy nods numbly. "Yeah I think, I'm not dead?." The man chuckles "what on earth are you saying treasure?"
"I think I'm just near enough that I could escape." He answered, "mentally at least I'm still..." he raised his hand through Aizawa's arm. "Yeah I'm still like I was."
Izuku let's out a weak laugh looking to his feet. "I uhhh. I really am sorry but I think I'm might be leaving."
It's a comforting dream. One that's never happened and never will. He likes Aizawa. Aizawa protected him. But against his father? There's never a winner.
He glances back to the mans face. Still stood at the door. It's unmoving. Izuku knows who's there. He knows who that is.
A new memory emerges. One that has already happened. Weeks ago when he was happy. Dead but happy. Accepting.
Izuku reached out for Aizawa needing the mans touch. Depending on the touch.
It went straight through.
"Oh." He said voice cracking. "I-I knew it would do that but it hurts more than I expected." He confesses. Fat tears free fall as the boys body flickers. "I'm so stupid!" He wails.
It's not fair. His father wasn't like that. His father needed to be constantly adding to Izuku. Moulding. Adding, subtract, carving. He was never enough. Then he died.
"Am I supposed to be perfect? I'm no human being." Izuku says numbly. He knows who he's speaking too. It's the face at the door. The one that stands still. Waiting.
"I'm just some Frankenstein doll for people to play and experiment on aren't I? I'm not right. I have too many qualities you hate. Father finds it fun to play. He just wants me perfect for him, so until that happens I guess I'll be tossed around forever." Izuku hardens his gaze. "Does father even love Izuku?" He asks.
"That's not right Izuku. Father loves you however you are. He loved you dead, he loves you alive"
"Are Eri and tomura still there? Are they safe from you? Will you only fixate on me and leave them be. Tell me you will. Go on say yes." Izuku goaded.
"Yes. We are waiting for you my creation." The face says. Izuku sees no features but he knows the face is smiling. It makes him angry. The cuts he'd forgotten about sting leaking with blood again. Each memory that disgusts him makes more wounds open.
"Izuku calm down." Comes a command. It's lost in memories.
Father destroyed him.
Father obsessed over him.
Father made him.
Father killed him.
Father saved him.
Father hurt him.
Father loved him.
Father hated him.
Father-
"Izuku."
The boy gasps a breath and his eyes roll back.