Naomi Black
"Oh—no, no, no. You aren't going with me." I jump up, despite the dizziness to try to catch up to him before he reaches my uncle. I stand in the middle of his path—placing my palms in the center of his abdomen. He looks down at me and chuckles.
"Naomi, get out of my way." He warns as I shake my head.
I didn't want him to go—I knew this was the last thing he wanted for Matti, and I knew he would run his mouth, making me feel like shit. It was the last thing I needed because whether I liked it or not he was Matti's brother more than he was mine.
"No—you're not going because that would attract too much attention for me. I need to go, by myself." I tried to reason with him but it was almost as if his ears were clogged. Suddenly, I was hoisted over his shoulder to which I squealed.
"Blake! If I am—you can't hold me like this! Your shoulder is digging right into the—" My whisper yelling is interrupted as he sets me on the ground, and to the side of him. He leans down, gripping my shoulders.
"Digging right into what? The baby?" I frown at his tone as he shakes his head rolling his eyes.
"Stay right here– I will be back. I'm going to tell coach that you need something–we are going to the doctor, and you are getting a test." His voice threatens me as I cross my arms over my chest.
You know what—I'm sick and tired of being a chew toy for everyone to walk all over and put down.
"Blake. Don't worry–no mess of mine for you to clean up anymore. I'm going to the store and buying my own. I will take these tests by myself because you know what? I realized within the last few minutes—that if it is positive, he's going to hate me, so just join the fucking train Blake!" I freak out on him as he pulls away from me.
Luckily the boys were at the other ten yard line and couldn't hear anything because the dome exhibited such an echo.
He frowned, reaching out towards me but I held up my hand. "Naomi—" I cut him off.
"No! I'm just so over you guys just saying whatever you want to me and me having to forgive you guys! It doesn't work that way!" I exclaim, walking away from him and towards my uncle—who was in the middle of a conversation with the defensive coordinator, but I didn't care.
He sees the look on my face and frowns. He holds his hand up to the coordinator, almost mimicking me. "What's wrong?" He asks as I shake my head.
"I'm going home—I'm not feeling so well. The only one left that needs to be checked is Blake." I give him a small smile as I walk away from him.
But everyone knows—you don't storm away from a coach.
"Get your ass back here little lady!" He roared as I continued to walk away from him. But he continued to follow me, even down the hallway. "Naomi Jade! What is wrong!" He asks again.
I sigh, "I don't feel well, like I said I'm going—" My conversation is cut off because the same girl from earlier that was running him coffee approached us.
"Grandpa—I need you to sign this for me." She gave me a small smile as my eyes widened at him. He stares at me, as I stare at him—she looks at us as if we both had two heads.
I slowly nod.
I reach out my hand. "Hi, I'm Naomi." I smile at her as she grips mine back.
"I know." I raise an eyebrow to her words as she chuckles. "I meant—Hello, I'm Ellison but people just call me Ellie. You're my cousin right?" I give her a small nod—unsure of her.
Coach or her grandpa and my uncle, wraps his arm around her shoulders.
"Ellison will be a freshman next year studying English and journalism here!" Uncle Bud spoke as I nodded.
"That's super cool—just stay away from those quarterbacks" I winked at her as she blushed. Uncle snorted, "That's too late. The new one is already making a move—Mitch? Did you meet Mitch?" He asks me as I chuckle.
Did I meet Mitchell Hudson?
Yes.
Sadly.
"Briefly. But hey—don't let boys ruin your future. Trust me, you'll have the best time of your life being single here." I spoke as she blushed.
And now that I look at her—she looks a lot like me.
Dark hair, short with glasses, and her hair was long. But she had freckles across her cheeks and bright blue eyes.
She was so cute.
"Alright—well, it was nice meeting you. I have to go now!" I waved at her as a smile beamed on her face.
"Goodbye, Naomi Black!" She waved and Coach gave me a warning stare—he definitely wasn't dropping today.
I hurried out of their eyesight and walked as fast as I could to the campus store—which luckily, was empty.
But their shelfs were not.
How many should I get?
Five?
Seven?
Ten?
This was the most stressful shopping trip of my life.
I settled for seven, and I was literally gagging—it was almost fifty dollars for seven tests.
If I would've known this was going to happen—I would've just bought the damn Plan B, because it would have cost me the same damn thing and wouldn't live under my roof for the next eighteen years.
I choked on my own saliva at the thought.
I could be pregnant.
I could be.
But when?
I've had sex ten times with Matti—all of them we used protection.
Except for the one time of me begging, practically withering in his arms for him to put just the tip inside of me in the shower.
Shit.
But he pulled out?
But there is still a 14%-24% failure rate for that.
I walked as fast as I could back home—and I swear, it was the longest yet fastest walk of my life. Me pissing on a stick could change my entire life.
I threw my keys into the door, but then realized—I had to be quiet. It was only coming around nine in the morning. Everyone would still be asleep.
I quietly slid off my shoes, and then tiptoed down the hallway, hugging the paper bag to my chest hoping and praying it wasn't making too much noise.
I entered the bathroom and slowly closed the door.
And that's when operation time.
I locked the door and turned on the faucet—wanting any noise that was made to be overheard by the running water. I grabbed a styrofoam cup and pulled down my pants.
And everyone knows—when you have to force yourself to pee–it won't come out.
I groaned, when the hell did my life come to this moment?
Finally, when I did pee, I set the steaming cup of piss to the side—flushed the toilet and washed my hands under the water.
And then I took a deep breath.
This was it. This was the fucking moment of truth.
I took the tests and slowly dunked them into the cup, making sure they had enough piss on them that I could forsure know the results now. Once all seven were dunked, I released my breath.
I turned off the faucet.
I had five minutes.
Five minutes to figure out if Matti and I were actually going to do this thing—well if I was going to do this thing. Because I was doing it with or without him.
The thought of that made me tear up—I know he would never, but would he really never leave?
I washed my hands again and wiped my eyes.
I slowly tiptoed to the bathroom door, and opened it—peaking around the corner, making sure nobody was coming. And then I bolted across the hallway to my room to grab Mimi.
If someone needed to know–it was her.
I walked into my room and nearly cried at my thoughts–where the hell would I even put a baby crib? Would they even allow me to have a baby?
I scooped up Mimi from one of her cat towers and spun on my feet to walk back into the bathroom quietly. I slowly tiptoed—Mimi in hand.
Before I could shut the bathroom door all of the way–I was stopped.
"Uh, what are you doing with Mimi?" I heard Sloane ask. I mentally screamed.
But then again—Sloane wouldn't judge me, would she?
"Mimi needs a bath." I spat out as I only had the door open a crack. I was sweating–cold sweats. Mimi was staring at me, at my stomach, she was judging me.
Sloane chuckled. "You dipshit! We don't have a bath here. Put her in the sink. Here I'll help!" Sloane was being loud. I went on red alert.
"No—nope! We're good!" I tried shutting the door but she barged in like the nosy bitch my best friend was. "Okay, do you have gloves? This bitch will scratch the shit out of us." Sloane tried to crack a joke, but I was shitting myself.
I was hoping and praying, but that wasn't enough.
"What's wrong with you?" She asked, reaching for me.
I was blocking the counter top that all seven tests were lined up on.
Her pink lace-silk pajama set moving with her gesture as I held my hand out for her to stop coming closer.
"Okay? Quit acting like a freak. You forget I'm three inches taller than you." She shoved me to the side as I ripped my hair out of my head.
And then she saw the test—that probably had the results displayed by this moment.
She gasped, looking up at me.
"You thought you were pregnant and didn't tell me?" She asked as I froze.
How do I answer this?
"Yes." I stated as she gave me a funny look, pointing down at them.
Wait—thought?
I looked down and air escaped me.
One line.
One line.
One line.
One line.
One line.
One line.
One line.
"I'm not pregnant." I said through shock.
Holy shit.
She looked at me like a psychopathic maniac as I started to laugh, curling over and letting out full belly laughs.
"You see—my period wasn't late but I was having every sign and I thought I was in the clear but I got in my head. I'm good—I'm good." I smiled as she reached out her hand and pinched me.
"Ow! The fuck was that for?" I squealed as she shook her head at me. "For thinking I shouldn't know about this monumental moment! Your first pregnancy scare! I remember mine like it was yesterday! In tenth grade because I wanted to experience the feeling of it erupting inside of me." She spoke in a haze as I gave her a disgusted look.
She shrugged, "What? I haven't gone bare since–leave me alone." She defended herself. I started to chuckle but then her chuckling followed.
I collected the tests off the counter and threw them in the trash bin next to the toilet. "Now that we've had our morning fun—let's go get some breakfast." She states as I nod. "Please, I'm starving." I beg as she smiles.
I wait for her to get ready to go and then we bounce.
Luckily, we took her car so I didn't have to go walking again.
I'm assuming all of my symptoms are due to my period, but maybe I should go get checked out? I work for pediatrics so I see gynecologists all of the time—maybe I should do that.
She pulled out of the apartment complex, but didn't turn on the music.
"I need to talk to you about something." She states as I nod.
Hopefully, this was the conversation that we desperately needed to have.
"I'm relapsing." She admitted as I looked at her, in sympathy. As she frowned, "Do you know what set it off?" I asked as she sucked in a breath.
"The girl he cheated on me with," She spoke exasperated.
I frowned again.
Sloane Beck had nothing to worry about. She was stunning. She had long legs. She was tan in the summer and pale in the winter. This made her Russian complexion even more exotic. Her bright blue eyes shine like the sea and her hair almost as white as snow.
"But Sloane—look at you." She pulls onto College Avenue.
She chuckled—the Starbucks in sight.
"Yeah, look at me." She mocked me as I watched her get choked up. I reached over to hold her hand which was clenched, sweaty against her leg. "I'm everything that every man should want—right? Long legs, blonde, blue eyed, and skinny?" She continues to question everything about herself as I look at her in awe.
"Well—I look like this because I was bullied into looking like this! And now even the man I loved didn't like the way I looked so I want to change myself again!" She exclaims—pulling into the parking lot.
She slams the car in park as I watch her rub her eyes. "It's just unfair, NJ." She cries as I start to tear up. "He gets to be happy after doing that to me! Why? What the hell did she have that I didn't make him want to want me?" She continues to exclaim as I shake my head.
"You were too good for him, Sloane!" I yell at her as she shakes her head. "Yes! You were too good for him so he left to someone closer to his level. You will find someone one day that loves you for the way you are! Don't change yourself because he didn't feel good enough for you!" I tried to reason as she wiped her tears nodding.
She inhaled and exhaled a few times before trying to project a smile, it was a shit one.
It broke my heart to know that he did this to her.
She was relapsing because he felt like cheating on her.
She was beautiful—he didn't deserve her and he knew that. He wanted someone easy, like one of Chloe's friends. Even Finn agreed.
"Okay—let's go get coffee and help me eat a muffin." She states as I chuckle.
"Are you okay?" I asked as she shook her head. "No, that's why I want a muffin." I smiled at her.
We unbuckled ourselves and finally got out of the car, stepping into public light for the first time since I confessed to almost being a mommy and she confessed that she was relapsing.
We walked in, ordered our coffees and for every bite I took of my chocolate chip muffin—she took a bite out of her blueberry muffin.
She'd get through this.
She was Sloane Beck, she could get through anything.
As we got back into the car I pondered the question that I've been wanting to ask but I didn't know how to go about it.
But it just came out.
"Sloane—you sleep with guys, to make you feel beautiful?" I ask as she pauses and then nods. Okay.
"So why haven't you been sleeping with guys to stop you from relapsing?" I asked as she chuckled. Oh god—that can't be good.
"I have never felt more degraded—more slutty, than on New Year's Eve." She states as I frown.
She continued, "Blake. He just basically degraded me—verbally abused me if you will, while you were in with Matti." She summed up as I felt the flame ignite inside of me.
"What did he say?" I asked, demanding an answer. She chuckled, shaking her head. "It's done and it's over with. I'm building myself back up from now on, not reliving the past. I'll be okay." She smiled at me as I gave her an unconvincing look.
"Sloane." I state her name as she pulls back into our apartment complex.
She shakes her head.
"I'll tell you another day. It's not necessary right now. I just ate a muffin—I'm feeling good. Just let me vibe right now." She suggested as I nodded.
But it was just the fact that Sloane hadn't deserved any of this at all.
Why couldn't she have sex and not be degraded by Blake? He probably has had more one night stands than Matti. Blake Day is the most eligible bachelor in America at the moment.
Any woman wanted him and I'm sure in his free time he was over using that to his advantage.
But he wanted to degrade her for doing something that was natural and normal?
"Is he jealous?" I asked her as she slammed on her brakes.
I jerk forward as she chuckles. "No way. He literally hates my guts from what he told me after him and I dropped you and Matti off." She tried to make sense of it but I shook my head.
"But—what did he want to talk to you about?" I ask as she sighs.
"I can't tell you that today." She tried to reason but I gave her a shocked look as she pulled into our parking spot. "Sloane Grace, what the hell?" She shrugged.
"You didn't tell me you thought you were pregnant." She hit me back as I shook my head.
"It doesn't work that way." I state as she nods. "Oh yes it does, NJ." She teased turning off the car. I chuckled.
I grabbed the coffee I also got for Finnegan and we walked into the lobby. I chuckled, sipping at mine as she fumbled with the keys, but too bad our apartment was already—unlocked?
Uh?
We opened the door and she walked down the hallway first.
She groaned as I followed.
Blake Day sat at my dining room table with an innocent smile on his face. I raised an eyebrow. "Leave." I state as he chuckles, shaking his head.
"Little girl—sit down." My mouth dropped open.
He didn't.
Blake chuckled, "Oh—yes I did." He started with a smirk, pulling his arms above his head, leaning into the dining room chair. I glared, shaking my head.
I pulled out a seat as I sat down at the farthest end, away from him. I watch as Uncle Bud walks out of my kitchen with a cold bottle of water. I sighed—here we go.
All of this drama for nothing.
He pulls out a chair and sits down, folding his hands in front of him. Staring at me. I raise my eyebrows.
"You know—your mother didn't want to tell us she was pregnant either." He states as I chuckle.
"So which was it? You wanted her to go out of her way to tell you so you could wish for her to get an abortion? Or you wanted to go down the route of her not telling you but the same outcome?" I fired back at him as he pursed his lips nodding.
Blake cleared his throat to speak, but I flipped him off before he could even speak.
"What is this an intervention?" I ask as they both chuckle.
"No. But we are giving you the chance to tell us and then we can discuss options." My mouth dropped open. Discuss options?
"First of all—it's none of your choices. It's mine and Matti's. More so—mine! The baby is mine! And whatever I want to do with the baby is my choice!" I exclaim as Sloane whistles.
"You know what—I can't believe you guys just said that to me, considering I'm not pregnant!" I yell at them as they both raise their eyebrows in shock.
"But I'm really glad to know you both think you have a say in the matter." I finish off the spiel as they stare at me in awe.
I shake my head—more pissed than sad, but I felt tears. I quickly sucked them away.
"Well damn, mama bear is definitely present in your personality." Blake chuckled, before clapping.
I crossed my arms over my chest and sat in silence.
Options?
Choices?
There was none for me.
As much as I hated to admit it the relief felt good, but deep down—I wasn't happy. Maybe I could've had a child give me the unconditional love that I had never felt because I was always being left.
Or the fact that I could've given my child who is more than deserving, a life better than the one I lived.
No matter if Matti wanted them or not.
"Darling—I'm sorry." Coach started to speak as I shook my head. I didn't want to talk to anyone at this moment.
It was so wrong of them.
It was wrong of Blake to involve him—just because I wouldn't let him come with me?
Spoilt brat.
"Alrighty—we will be going back to practice now." Coach spoke as he slid the chair back. Blake followed in pursuit, but he just walked down the entrance hallway. Coach stopped.
"I just wanted you to know that I am sorry. I shouldn't have come off that way, but you know I would've been there for you both. I've already discussed the amount of interest I have in your children—if that day ever comes. Again, sorry I made you feel this way, Naomi." He states, almost in a pleading apologetic way.
I wanted to cave and give him a hug since he was the only living family member that cared about me, but I didn't. I just nodded.
He turned on his feet and walked down the hallway, the door opening and closing.
And then there was silence.
Sloane didn't have a word to say to me and I had no words to say to her.
Footsteps were heard down the hallway as Finn appeared, crazy hair from sleeping.
She gave us a smile.
"Well—that was a fantastic show that I just took a morning piss to, however I must pose a question," I nod at her as she gives me a tight lipped smile.
"Are those seven positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom yours, Naomi?" She asked as my mouth dropped open and Sloane flew out of her seat and down the hallway.
Fuck me.
Hey Besties.
Love you besties.
Talk later besties.
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