¡Kairi¡
°Wednesday°
OKAY, so you know what I said about love and how it is so great to have it and you feel like you're in cloud 9?
Well forget I said that, because that is not true!! For the most part, I mean if you're not two boys named Mattia and Kairi, then I think you're okay.
It's only been three days, and I'm losing my mind. Alvaro came over earlier and told me he punched mattia for 'not sticking up for me' so I told him what happened between me and Celia.......
he went and punched me too
What a guy to rely on yk? Really keeps you grounded.
Celias still here and as a matter of fact, she's now going to school with me. Which means a lot, and all of that is negatives. Mhm, and to make things worse! I mean even worse than being punched by the weakest (who rlly isn't the weakest like we all say) in the group. Celia + Alex + Jenna. They had already somehow became friends, and if there's one thing they share it's drama with us.
If you wanted to see mean girls just come to New Jersey.
Back to Mattia and I, nothings really changed. At school, we'll walk in together, meet up with the boys, and then do school like we always do. I guess the difference is that we don't sit next to each other, or talk, unless it's a group discussion. But I can only assume that nothings changed considering this is his first time being back at achool since Sunday, and of course that was my fault, everything that took place on Sunday was just a disaster.
But really no one's caught on. Besides alvaro. Which makes everything more awkward, and I know, we can just tell them, but then it'd just get all weird again, and what's wrong with figuring it out as a couple.
"forreal tho, what the fuck is going on cause I can smell the awkwardness from my house." Robert complained, as he walked into my room. "ah fucking big nose boy, nice to see you." I welcomed sarcastically, placing my remote down.
"sup oompa loompa, I asked a question. What's going on? Cause there's clearly something going on. I know there's something going on, Alvaro's been more cranky, and hes always like that when somethings happened, can't hide it from me now boi" he grabbed my remote, continuing the game.
I sighed, leaning back in my chair, "man it's too much I'll tell you that." he curtly snorted. "always something going down with y'all." I nodded, taking my headphones off this time.
"I cheated. Man, not really, it wasn't my fault, like I didn't initiate anything or anything, but it was me who was kissed."
Robert paused the game, and stared at me. "deadass? With who?" I leaned back, "Celia." Robert blew out air, and sat back, "oh man that's fucked. You told mattia though, right? All you can do it just wait I guess. Fucked up on both ends, you're gayer than ale and Alvaro combined, so her just kissing you, sorry about that."
I shrugged, "thanks? I think. I know I have to give mattia space, that's what he asked for, but I can't help but feel stupid and useless for doing it. I wanna just go and apologize for everything, even if I already did!" Robert turned to me, "then fuck it man. Go see him. Or not. I don't know, you're giving him space, which is probably what he needs, but space is overrated. Especially when it comes to you two.
Everytime you guys 'give eachother space' it makes everything so weird. Might as well go, and get kicked out of his house, than wait here like a dipshit, moping all over valorant." I shoved him, scoffing. "whatever man, you staying, or what?" I asked him, grabbing my house keys, and shoes. He nodded, "yeah man. Just in case you come crying when he dumps you."
I immediately looked up at him, "I was joking, relax." I grabbed a shoe that as next to me and threw it at him. "wasn't funny, asshole." I mumbled, walking out my room. Nervous wouldn't describe how I'm feeling right now.
What can I say to him, that could possibly help? Sorry is just an excuse to not feel so guilty about what you've done. And is it bad to feel like I haven't done anything wrong? Like yeah, so I was kissed. Not that I wanted to. Maybe it was my fault though, maybe I looked...inviting?
Sighing, I finally decided to just knock on the door. I probably looked like some stalker if I wasn't so known for being here. "thought you'd never come, nevertheless knock on the door, idiot." Gian stated, opening the door. "thanks for letting me look like a fool." I muttered, walking past him.
"you deserve it." he spoke, patting my back, walking who knows where. Licking my lips, I decided on doing what I came here to do. What if he didn't want to see me? What if he just decided to ignore me for the rest of his life?
I never thought in my life, would I have to ponder whether to knock on a door or not. Yet here I am, yet again, wondering if this is something I should do. I'm already here, let's just keep pushing my luck while we're at it.
"mattia-" I opened the door, and closed it just as quick. Mattia was in there alright, but so was Jenna. They weren't doing anything, clearly there was nothing going on. Considering they had books out in between them. Plus, who was I to just go and assume things? That'd make me hypocritical.
Instead of going back in, retreating back up to the main house seemed better, I'll just wait. I can wait, maybe think of what I want to say. Gian was also there in the living room, playing fifa, so I sat next to him, grabbing a remote.
"what?" he questionly looked at me, I looked back at him, "add me in, what else?" he rolled his eyes, but quit the ongoing game, and started a new one, with me in it. "so...how'd it go?" he asked, after we played two rounds. "don't know yet. He's busy." I quietly cheered, as I made the goal, while he groaned for not keeping it out the goal.
"oh.. Kai, you didn't mean to cheat on him, did you?" he asked out of the blue, and i slouched at the question. "of course not. i had just gotten with your brother. Gian, I've liked your brother for a long time. If I wanted to be with anyone else, kiss anyone else, I'd probably would've done it before getting with him. I'm not a cheater, or well maybe I am now, I don't know anymore. It's not like I was held against my will to be kissed, but it's not like I was aware of it. It's like a surprise attack, but without the surprise. "
He laughed at that, and I guess it was a little stupid now that I think about it. I smiled a bit, then checked the time. Maybe mattia didn't want to see me. I got up, and ran a hand through gians hair, " I'm gonna go now. It was nice hanging with you kid." he smacked my hand away, but nodded. "you should come tommorow. If he doesn't talk to you then, you can come and play fifa with me again."
I shrugged, "maybe. I'll see you later. Now come be a good boy for your guest, and open the door." I mocked, as he smacked my stomach, opening the door for me anyway. "bye kairi. Don't cry yourself to sleep!" and the door was slammed on me.
Sometimes, I can see the resemblance of the two Polibio boys. They were snarky, and their anger was just so prominent. And they just flat out looked like each other.
Walking back to my house wasn't so bad, walking into my room was a different story. "Robert, what the fuck, i didn't say throw a party while I was gone." he looked up, as well as Alejandro and Alvaro. "how was making up with your boyfriend?" he asked instead, throwing a cheeto at me.
I sat down, kicking my shoes off, taking my hoodie off as well, showing the finger at the three as they started whistling. "fuck all three of you, forreal. And, I don't-we didn't talk, he was, you know, busy with stuff."
Alejandro looked at me with an expecting look. "so I just kicked it with Gian. Now, if you guys can, in the kindest way possible, fuck off. I'm tired."
They laughed, but got up nonetheless, and made their way out my room.
Except for Alejandro. "what was the real reason you guys didn't talk?" he asked, crossing his arms. I shrugged, "I told you. He was busy with school." he rolled his eyes, "and we all know he'd drop work for you any day, now seriously Kai.."
"okay okay! I really do think he was studying, with Jenna, which is fine. I trust him, and I know what you're going to say, 'but can you trust Jenna?' and honestly ale, no, but I trust mattia enough to know he won't do anything. Plus, we're still together, he hasn't said anything about that, and I think I owe it to him to let him be his own person."
Alejandro pursed his lips, but shrugged it off. "alright Kai, if that's the case. You're a big boy to make your own decisions, and I'm not your mom to talk you out of your choices. I'm here for you, always though." he kissed his three fingers and wiped it on my forehead.
"how sweet." I muttered, but smiled at him as he walked out the door. It was also times like this where I really appreciated my friends. We were there for each other without having to make choices for one another. We were just there when some choices werent the right ones.
Still, I had one problem, and no matter how much I tried to think of anything else, he was still there in the center of my mind,and I didn't know if showing up at his house was going to help me talk to him either.
··KxM··
Damn dawg,,
I'm srry to bring Jenna back, but she is now a very important factor in this book🤞
well...all the girls will be an important factor in this book now..
anyways,,
it's been a while?
hope you're all doing well, and as always enjoying this
also, my writing(?) I think has changed a lot from the beginning of the book, probably not by a lot, but yk
it'd be less cringier I hope God I hope
considering it's been almost four years since the start of this book
and I am so sorry for barely finishing it now, I know nothing new abt the boys, other than what they post of their spams, and I feel so bad
pls bear with me ily all<3
Stay Gold🖤