Naomi Black
Much to my dismay, I was laying across Matti's lap the entire ride home.
If I laid down flat—everything started to spin and I would throw up.
If I sat up straight, I felt lightheaded.
And I couldn't exactly just hold myself up in the position that I needed to lay down in.
"You throw up in the Tesla and you pay for the cleaning, Black." Blake warned as I chuckled.
"Blakey, I'm rich enough that I could buy my own Tesla now." I mumbled as everyone laughed.
The car ride was nice and quiet though, fast too. It was very late so the only people out were the drunk kids walking home from the clubs and the bars. I kept my eyes closed the entire ride, but I knew he was staring at me.
When he started to run his fingers through my hair, every second it was getting harder for me to be mad at him.
But now I was being carried up the flight of stairs from my lobby.
"I think it's best if I just take care of her tonight boys." Sloane states as I hear the keys jingling. I kept my eyes closed, the brightness bugging me even when they were shut. "Yes. Agree," I mumble, leaning against whoever was holding me.
"No–let him take care of her. You and I have some talking to do." I heard Blake speak as Sloane snorted. "No, I'd rather scuff all of my Versace than talk to you. He's probably going to leave her after five-" She got cut off by the voice of Matti.
The person that was carrying me.
"I'm not." He states those words with annoyance in his voice. I chuckled in my head—Sloane was right.
"She has to shower and get the blood out of her hair, plus she has to keep ice on her face—she hates you! Why would she listen to him over me? Exactly, she won't." She yelled out, too loud for me that I whimpered covering my ears–her voice was smacking off the walls.
"That's it," I heard Blake mutter. And with my eyes closed I could only use my sense of hearing to understand what was going on. Keys jingled, Matti balanced me in his arms, I'm assuming catching them in his hands.
And then a mumbled yelled.
"Blake! Put me down!" I heard Sloane yell, I felt Matti nod and then Sloane's cries became distant.
"You stupid fucking Republican! Aren't you guys afraid of gay people's children? Boo!" At that comment, I let out a laugh, a small one as Matti's chest rumbled.
A door was opened and I was through it.
"Okay. I'm taking you to the couch." He spoke as I groaned. "I'd rather you'd just drop me on the ground." I muttered under my breath.
I knew he heard me though.
He shut the door behind us and walked down the hallway, the apartment was dark—just how I needed it. I slowly opened my eyes and watched as Matti tossed the keys to the table. He walked to the long sectional and sat me on the end.
"So when did we become best friends again?" I ask, eyes closing slowly. "Nobody could take care of you like I could." He states and I chuckle, reopening my eyes. "Funny–I could think of multiple, including Helen Keller." I spoke.
He nodded, "Good one." He muttered.
He walked away from me for a moment but not before coming back with multiple pillows in his hands.
He gripped my arms, pulling me up and then laid me back down.
"I feel dirty," I muttered as I watched him turn his back to me, taking off his black blazer–setting it to the side. His black dress pants bunching up as he sat at my feet, placing them on top of his lap. His dress shirt buttons undone, showing a hint of chest and his necklace on display.
"Do you want a shower?" I shrug as he stares.
I watched as he slowly undid the heels that were on my feet, chuckling when he flipped them over. I raised an eyebrow, well—I tried to.
He faced me, holding the heels in his hands. "Never pegged you for a Jimmy girl." I groaned, laying back deeper into the pillows. "I'm not." I state.
He nods, setting them on the ground.
And so we sat in the sectional in silence. My legs lay over his lap. Him staring off—deep in his thoughts while I laid, miserable. "Um–Matti," I said as his head shot down to me.
"I need ice." I state and his face falls, throwing my legs off of him aggressively as he stands up.
"Right, right. So sorry, hold on." He apologizes and before I could tell him it was okay, he was gone in a flash.
I brought my hand up to my eye area and gently patted around it.
I was for sure swollen and I couldn't even imagine how much worse it was going to flare up.
"Here—here." He rushed over with a bag of frozen peas from my freezer. I chuckled, grabbing them from him and slowly placing them on top of my eye- feeling instant relief from the itching.
"Thanks." I comment as I close my eyes again.
I felt his hand on my leg as he reached for my wrist. "I'm putting your hair up." I felt him remove the band from around my wrist as he started to collect my hair in his hands.
"You're really good at doing hair." I comment as he chuckles. "More specifically, putting up girls' hair–almost too good." I will continue. If I had my eyes open, I knew he would be smirking. "From experience," He mumbles, sitting back down where he once was before.
And so we sat again, for multiple minutes this time, in silence.
My brain hurts to think— but my heart hurts worse.
I was so confused.
"Why are you exactly here?" I ask, my voice just above a whisper. My eyes still closed, so I couldn't see his reaction, but I was glad. I didn't like confrontation and I knew if I made him upset, it would be easier for me to forgive him.
But I didn't want to forgive him yet.
He sucked in a breath, probably not expecting my question.
"Because." He states like a child and I try my hardest not to roll my eyes. But instead, I pull the Pea's off my face and try to sit up and look at him, but I'm pushed down.
"Keep. The. Pea's. On." He orders as I let out a chuckle.
"Yes, sir." I obey.
"Because, why." I continue to hound him as he returns quiet.
But this time—I didn't get an explanation.
I huffed–giving up on it now, I would get an answer later.
"Go in my room and grab my makeup wipes- please," I asked him but he was already up and running- bringing them back in a hurry. I chuckle, "Guess you are fast." I muttered as he smiled.
He opens up the pack and sits down next to the couch, leaning in—too close for comfort at the moment. "Tell me if it hurts–okay?" He asks with caution. And then he pauses, busting out laughing.
I give him a confused look, "The last time I said that to you was the first time we had sex, and now look at us, you got in a bar brawl and I'm cleaning your face." He had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard, but I wasn't laughing.
I don't even want to remember any of those nights.
Matti saw my reaction and automatically, his expression dropped just like that conversation. Thank god.
He continued to wipe everywhere until I finally told him it was enough, he went and threw the used wipes away. Walking back over to the couch he spoke before sitting down.
"The nurse asked some funky questions–huh?" He asked but I knew what he was hinting at.
"Your period-" I groaned, I knew this was coming. "Is completely regulated, and I'm fine." I finished the sentence for him before he could finish it himself.
He looked at me with his arms crossed as I chuckled at him. "Angry doesn't look good on you," I hint at him as he nods.
"Yeah—well a black eye doesn't look good on you either." He teases as I roll my eyes. And then the joking was over as we sat in silence for a few moments, but we were interrupted as Mimi jumped up on the coffee table next to the couch-staring at us.
Mainly at me–with that weird ass fucking look again.
"Don't you think she's looking at me weird?" I ask him as he chuckles. "Have you looked into a mirror within the last couple hours, Black?" He asks as my mouth drops open.
"That was out of pocket." I spoke through laughter as he shrugged, not commenting—he was deep in thought.
"I'd ask what you're thinking about but I really don't care enough about you to ask." I sass as he looks down at me and smiles. "You're so sweet." He states with a fake smile.
I just give him a thumbs up because I can't nod.
"Your period is late." He started with a heightened voice as I groaned. "Matti! It's not late! I should've kicked you out whenever the nurse came into the room! This is normal." I remind him as he rolls his eyes.
"You're not being responsible with your birth control." He states as my mouth drops open, I struggle to sit up but I do. "I'm not being responsible—I'm the nurse, pretty sure I would know how to take pills you dickwad?" I spoke in shock as I chucked the bag of peas off my face and at him.
"I'm just saying Naomi-" I cut him off. "What? That if there ever was a chance that it was late that it would be my fault? Jesus, I knew you threw balls for a living and didn't get an education but I at least thought you had a brain." I erupted at him and turned to my side, closing my eyes. "Next time- I'll make sure that someone else takes care of me because right now, you're making my pain worse. I'm in my five day range—you're such an asshole." I state.
I didn't want to talk about this anymore.
He was being dramatic for no reason.
I heard Mimi meow before launching herself at the couch, pawing her way over to me and curling up to my side. I reached down and started to pet her.
"She knows you're stressing me out, douchebag." I fire one last shot at him as he huffs.
It was silent for a few moments until he leaned over, placing the bag of peas on my face again.
"You know—if you're looking for a thank you, I'm not going to give it to you." I state as he chuckles, hands resting on my calves, squeezing them. "I'm serious. If anything—I deserve for you to be here taking care of me right now because you couldn't be there for me a couple weeks ago since you felt like leaving me." I spoke harshly.
But he continued to stay silent despite me going at him.
And that infuriated me even more.
"And now you're just going to be quiet and act all innocent like you actually didn't leave me? I know we already talked about this somewhat, but I need clarity. You can't just leave and come back then do it all over again. I'm not that kind of girl and if you thought I was—you're wrong." I rant as I felt his fingertips start to tap against my leg.
But in that moment the anger had become too much that it just turned into frustration, but a sad frustration. I let out a groan of frustration, and removed my legs from his lap.
If he wasn't going to talk to me when he was the reason we were in this situation in the first place, he wasn't worthy of being in my presence.
So I turned my body to get off the couch, my one hand on the pea's, the other pushing me up. I hold my hand out to make my mind aware of my balance.
"Sit down before you hurt yourself more." He spoke as I ignored him. I continued to take slow steps away from the couch, and it wasn't like he could just grab me. I was concussed. One wrong move and I could get a traumatic brain injury.
He let out a huff of air, and followed me down the hallway.
I walked cautiously down to my room, but before he could try to follow me in—I slammed it shut.
I slid down the back of my door and sat–if I would've walked to my bed, I would've fallen asleep.
The clock on my nightstand read 3:30 in the morning.
I sighed, hugging the Pea's tighter to my eye. Out of all the ways I thought tonight would go, I never would've predicted this moment. I wish I could say my eye was throbbing worse than my heart but at this moment, nothing was.
"NJ, just open the door." I heard him plead from the other side, but I stayed quiet. He just was ignoring me, why should I talk to him?
"I won't come in—I just need to watch that you're okay." He continues.
He wasn't going to be watching anything. I was a nurse and I knew when I was going to go down, if I needed him, I would tell him.
"You're being selfish Naomi, I just want to help." And that was the last straw.
"Am I being selfish? After I just got punched in the face by one of your best friends because I tried to jump in a fight to grab my best friend, and now I'm holding a bag of frozen peas to my eyes?" I spoke harshly through the door.
"Are you that dumb?" I ask.
I knew he was probably sitting in the same exact position that I was.
"I didn't mean it like that, Black." He tried to save himself but stopped himself from speaking another word. I chuckled.
"That's the funny thing—you just stop opening your mouth now too whenever you try to talk to me, and I'm kind of glad. Is it because of guilt? Because you know how bad you hurt my feelings that deep down you know you can't talk to me like you used to because you don't affect me the same, now?" I ask as I drop the bag of peas to the ground.
I mean—he still did affect me the same, but I just didn't give a shit if he was in my life anymore or not.
This certainly wasn't helping with my headache—all I wanted was for him to answer the question.
"You know, when I met you I was so miserable. But after you left it's like you never came into my life in the first place! I was miserable before we met, you made that miserableness go away, but then you left so what the fuck did you bring all the happiness in my life for if you knew you were going to rip it away!" I cry out as I scootch towards my bed—away from him.
And that's when my bedroom door opened.
I groaned.
"Get out," I demanded as he stayed silent.
I heard him pick up the frozen bag and walk it over to me, him now in eyesight. He sighed, looking at my face, before handing me the peas. I slowly accepted them, but only because my face hurt.
"Letting you watch me was the biggest mistake ever," I said, curled up under my covers. He pulled my desk chair up and sat next to my head.
He's sitting next to me while I'm sick as I cuss him out.
He chuckles, "You're going to give yourself a headache with all that talking." He teases as I shut my mouth, but then I reopen it.
"Do you actually think I'm joking when I say I'm mad at you? Do you not understand what the hell you put me through?" I spelled out for him as he sat and listened.
"You almost made me fail at something that I worked so fucking hard to achieve." I remember as he nods.
Good, glad he can fess up.
"I could say the same thing though." He cuts me off guard at his comment.
Before I could respond, he stopped me. "Did you ever stop and think for one moment about how me leaving you affected me? Because— I can tell you, it wasn't pretty. I cried and cried because I had also worked so hard at something that I wanted to achieve so badly," He ranted, putting his head in his hands.
"I wanted to achieve love with you, and you just wouldn't let me give it to you. You almost let your dad ruin us because you didn't want to trust the fact that life would've worked out, Naomi. We would've been okay! Have you considered the fact that maybe- I've been dealing with a broken heart this entire time?" He continued as I listened.
"I get it—I get that I fucking hurt you by leaving! But don't you dare pin this all on me, because I'm hurting just as bad on the inside. You left me way back when you had that meeting with your dad." I closed my eyes, because I felt the tears of frustration coming on.
He did have a point.
My eyes were already throbbing and I didn't want to feel like this anymore.
"Just—call Sloane." I state as his face drops. "No." He automatically says as I shake my head.
"No–as in I'm not leaving, we need to talk about this. Our communication sucks," He demands as I chuckled.
"Actually, I thought we were doing great until you decided to not go with the plan." And that's when he got angry.
"But it wasn't our plan— it was your fucking plan Naomi! You wanted to leave me, expect me to wait- and then you'd come back into my arms? I felt abandoned!" He roared as I pulled back—okay, this was scary. Not everyday you have a man like Matti Williams screaming at you.
"I don't open up to anyone! And you can cry and your feelings are validated but don't act like mine aren't when you left me. God—You were right in front of me and I fucking missed you!" He continued to yell.
But I didn't do well with yelling.
I leaned more underneath my blankets, trying to hide every emotion my face was wearing. The main one was fear. I hadn't felt that type of fear since the car ride home from my mom's funeral.
I didn't like it when Matti was angry.
But he had a point, as much as I wanted to fucking not admit it- he was right.
For once, maybe I was only hearing him—not listening to him.
"Okay- I'm sorry!" I yelled at him as he was pacing around my room. He turned to look at me shaking his head. "Just quit fucking yelling! You're scaring me!" I yelled, lip quivering.
I huffed out a breath as his mean demeanor changed instantly, seeing the effect he had on me.
He was right.
"I can forgive you for leaving but I won't forgive you for almost failing me." I muttered out as he sighed, walking towards me.
"I don't need you to apologize or to forgive- you just don't understand that this isn't entirely just my fault. I can only be painted as the bad guy so many fucking times," He spoke exasperated.
I felt defeated at this moment.
"I leave tomorrow, by the way. I'm flying back to Detroit." My heart sunk in my stomach.
"I think it's best if we just end this note as friends." He continued as my heart sank even deeper.
I shook my head, automatically sitting up—wincing. "Why detroit? Why not Pittsburgh?" I asked in a rush.
He nodded, "Farthest away from you—" And I swear in that moment my heart broke ten times harder than it did with the note when he left.
"So this is it— huh? You'll actually have the decency to say bye now?" I mocked as he narrowed his eyes on me. Before he could respond he was interrupted by a banging on my apartment door.
I slowly got out of the bed and tried to balance my walking. He didn't follow me though, he just let me walk on my own. Good—I fucking hope I fall so he feels bad.
"Open the door! I know you're in there!" The banging continued as I gasped. It was almost four in the morning, what the hell was he doing here.
I opened the door slowly and he gasped, but he wasn't alone.
"Holy shit— Helen. Grab your first aid kit!" Coach yelled at the gray haired woman.
And in that moment, I could've fucking passed out because this woman looked exactly like my mom.
"What—wait," Coach steps aside as she slowly guides me towards the couch in my apartment. "Naomi- shush. You look horrible, hunny." Helen, I guess—spoke.
Coach let out a chuckle.
That's when I froze.
Either my concussion was really bad or this was actually happening at four in the morning.
"Okay okay, not everyone just needs to stop." I spoke as Matti rounded the corner into the living room. As soon as he saw coach, he started to reverse his walking. Coach hearing his steps on the hardwood floor, turned and saw Matti.
"Mattison. Get over here." I could've swore there was smoke coming out of his ears.
Helen's frail arms gently guided me so I sat back onto my couch. I chuckled, "I already went to the emergency room." I stated as she nodded. "And?" She asked as I cleared my throat.
"Nothing broken, bad concussion. Oh and also-" I turned to wave at Matti who was getting the worst glare from coach right now. "Not pregnant! Just in case anyone was wondering!" I exclaimed as Matti's face went pale.
Coach did a double take between Matti and I, not knowing where to start first.
"Okay. Let's all just sit down and have a rational conversation." Helen became a peacekeeper in between the drama as I nodded. I laid back on the couch, again on the pillows Matti had put out previously for me.
Matti and coach on the other side of the room and Helen sat with me.
Coach cleared his throat. "Someone better explain who did it and why." He states as I nod towards Matti the same time Matti nods towards me.
God—he was such a pussy sometimes.
"Sloane was with Caden, Caden cheated, Caden brought the same girl tonight, Sloane went after her- Caden and some other guys got in a fight and Caden did this." I rush out, pointing to my face at the last moment.
"Honey. Inhale and Exhale." Helen's soft voice spoke towards coach and I chuckled.
I said that all the time too.
"Matti—how could you let her get punched?" Coach asks, trying to keep his composure. Matti nodded, "Such a great question coach," Matti tried to come up with an idea but I cut him off.
"It was on me. I put myself in that position—it's not his fault." I defended him as Matti raised his eyebrows in shock.
He can't always play the bad guy.
"Naomi, why don't you show Helen the kitchen, you could get some food and water in you? I need to have a chit chat with Mattison." Coach asks as I sigh.
All of this up and down was not good.
It was like these people couldn't see or understand the fact that I was literally hit with an iron fist.
I slowly walked to the kitchen, Helen holding my hand. I sat on a barstool and watched as she located my glasses, pouring me a water glass. I thank her and take a sip.
She stares at me as I nod.
"You look like her," She comments looking down- finding my countertop very interesting. I chuckle, "Do I?" I ask as she nods.
"Almost scary." She continues as I point back to her. "You guys look loads alike as well." I tried to make conversation as she shrugged.
"This is probably weird for you- you've barely ever met me and now I'm showing up at four in the morning because the university hospital called saying you got punched by a football player." She tried to explain as I chuckled.
She frowned, "God—Crystal would've killed to look like you." She continued to gush at me as I giggled. "Nothing special." I shrug. She shakes her head.
"Matti! You're an idiot! Get your head out of your ass!" I heard coach yell at him as I winced.
Helen nodded towards the living room. "How is it that three generations pulled the same men?" She teases as I sigh. "I don't know but one would think we should've learned the first time." I joke as she laughs, turning around and reaching into my freezer.
I smile, my pea's in my bedroom were probably thawed at this point.
She pulled out green beans and I practically moaned as they hit my skin.
"How long have you and mister QB1 been going out?" She asked as I nodded. "Well- we're not anymore. But we talked for a while and then dated for like a week." I chuckled out a laugh at the end.
She smiled, "You guys got into a fight and he left, but now he's back?" She asked for clarity- but I couldn't even give myself that.
He was leaving to go back to Detroit.
Matti was leaving me.
Again.
"Yeah- but he has to leave for football tomorrow." I state as she nods. "Yes- the training camps start!" She exclaimed as I shrugged- I hadn't had time to keep up, and I could tell she was picking up on my uncomfortable vibe.
She slowly leaned towards me and offered me a small smile.
"Listen kiddo—I'm sorry for not being there for you. But look at how amazing you've turned out. I'm proud of you." And there was that reassurance that I always wanted but never had from a mother figure.
I was trying to choke back a cry but Coach appeared at the door- freezing. He wiped his eyes, "Sorry it was like I was walking in on old Helen and a young one." He teased, walking over to me.
"You good?" He asks as I nod.
"Really? Seems like you're not good." He continues to try to hound me as I shake my head.
"I'm a good coach—trust me." I reassured him as he put his hands up in defense and backed away. He looks at Helen and points to me. "You see that? She needs to be on my roster. She got punched and isn't even crying." I let out a laugh as Helen chuckled too.
"You gave us a fright kiddo." He states as I nod. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, now go back home and go to sleep." I smile at him, slowly removing myself from the bar stool.
I walk towards the door for them to head out.
Entering the living room, I was concerned. Matti was rubbing the back of his neck with his head hung low- I was confused. What the hell did coach tell him?
"Well—I'm sorry about this crazy family reunion. I just got really scared so I made us come." Helen states, buttoning up her trench coat. I slowly nodded, but I was not feeling good at all.
Coach looks back at Matti before looking at me.
Don't worry coach, I'll be fine by myself.
"Breakfast sometime?" Helen, or Aunt Helen asks as I nod. I just wanted everyone out of my apartment. What the hell had this last month been?
Finally after five minutes, they both left. Which left Matti and I together- again.
I spun on my feet and walked to my room, I wanted privacy.
"Wait." His voice called out as I left the living room. I huffed, walking back slowly and steadily.
"I'm sorry. I was an idiot. I love you—and I'll never stop loving you. However, we aren't okay to be in a relationship right now. There's too much damage- but we can rebuild our friendship. There's too little time left to fix us, but we have more than enough time to fix our friendship, Black. I'm sorry." He spoke from the bottom of his heart as I huffed out.
I nodded, slowly accepting his apology.
But it didn't mean he was forgiven, because he wasn't.
He slowly walked over to me from the couch, and gave me a soft hug. "You aren't going to block me on everything again—right?" I asked as he let out a round of laughter—pulling back from me.
"No, I'm not Black," He smiled at me as I nodded.
"Come on- you need to shower, you have blood clumps dried into your hair." He ushers me towards the bathroom, but not before picking me up slowly in his arms.
And this was the way it was going to be for a while.
Matti Williams was on his way to becoming one of the best in the NFL. I was on my way to becoming the best pediatric nurse the hospitals around here have ever seen. We were both accomplishing everything we had ever wanted, and this was for the better.
We needed to fix our friendship and find ourselves before trying again, and it was the right thing to do.
When we came back, we would be so much better together, and stronger.
Because good things take time.
We were young and we were stupid. We would make mistakes until we both would get it right.
This wasn't going to be the last of us, just the start of a beginning of a new healthier us.
And we would communicate with each other.
And us that would respect each other.
And us that would do anything for each other.
And us that would fight for each other.
Tomorrow—he will be leaving. Getting on a flight, and going to a whole new city, hundreds of miles away. He would be taking luggage of all sorts but most importantly, a piece of my heart.
Hey besties!
How are we doing today?
I love you allllll so much.
Thank you for everything.
ALSO—don't be sad this isn't meant to be sad I promise. All good things take time— like a nice cheese. Or a roasted chicken.
Xoxo
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