Rub the scent against the door.
Push it open. Only a little.
Disappear.
Slide. Faster. Silently like a feather.
One more step and stick to the wall.
Leave before the scent can linger. Jump. Jump higher because I am still not as tall as eldest brother. Third jump before the gaze moves away from the door.
Here! One leg inside the room. The other. Jump inside on toes.
Tip-toes. Silent. Softly like a feather.
She is still looking at the door.
I have to laugh silently.
One more silent step on toes.
Arms around her in a swift.
"Karam!" Mother's squeals make me jump in joy. Her hands reach for my forearms before I can run away. She bends down to hold my ear in a warning that she doesn't really mean. My eyes never let her scold me, she always tells me.
As always, she sighs with a soft smile. "You must be too quick for my nose to smell your scent or eyes to catch you sneaking around, my little love. But my ears hear this heart beating in joy," she says, pointing at my chest.
My smile fades. "You can hear my heart, mother? But I was quick."
She settles on the floor and pulls me on to her lap, putting away all the baskets of clothes she was folding. "You always are," she says, with a chuckle. "Your brothers love to make everyone aware of their arrival just like your father. Loud steps. Laughters. Hums. Loud calls. But you like to sneak and surprise."
I push her hair away from her sight. They are too silky to settle in her braids. They cover her brown eyes. Sometimes, I feel she likes them this way. So, I will not see her sadness.
"I want to be like brothers," I mumble. I sniff in the air. She always smells of Lysar's scent these days. He takes all her time. "They can climb the trees and mountains. Brother King holds the largest bucket. I cannot hold the little one."
I look around towards the door for the other room. He is sleeping inside the crib that is not swinging anymore. His little legs bend and little fists curled. He looks like a cat, that often lingers around Anton's home.
Her fingers run through my hair. "You will, soon. When you will be bigger like them. But you are unique in your own way. When Lysar will be grown up, he will say the same."
Her fingers reach for my sides and she tickles. "That he wants to be like brother Karam."
I lay down on her lap and roll on the floor. My stomach hurts from laughing. She does it again. "Must we pray, he directly says Karam. Not Kalam like Tara."
"Tala!" I say the same way little sister takes her own name.
Mother laughs, pulling me to her again. "She will learn to speak properly. Soon. Your sister Lucine teaches her. Doesn't she?"
I nod. But why won't the sisters take me to the lake with them anymore? They only take Tara with them.
She gasps suddenly. "Did you give the bowl of gravy to your Aunt Rose?"
I nod again. "Yes, Mother."
"Did she look pleased?" Mother always want to make the Aunts happy.
I nod. "She has two hearts."
Mother laughs and pats my cheek. "The other heart is of a small Lycan. Don't you remember? Just like you could hear Lysar in my belly last year?"
I gasp. I remember.
"They will have a Lycan," I say while she nods with a smile. I sigh. "So many pups, mother. You don't play with me. Aunts don't play too."
She blinks. "Play with Anton. Oskar. Virion. Miggy will return from the lake and play with you. Ask Rosetta. She plays with all the pups in the street."
"She cheats to win. She glares and sneers at little pups."
She starts folding the clothes and smiles at my answer.
"Your brothers are going to the fields. Go with them, tomorrow."
I lay on the clean floor and look up at the dark ceiling. "Brother Robin starts playing with pups of his height. No little brothers go there. I feel alone. Brother Kingston hides away to meet—"
I bit my tongue.
"Amelia?" Mother asks while I look at her. She smiles slowly. "So, there is no one left for my Karam."
I shook my head, turning on my side and putting my head on my arm.
The loud cry comes from the room.
Mother laughs as I make a face.
"Looks like Lysar heard you. Go play with him."
"He pissed." I scrunch my nose as the smell lingers around.
Mother chuckles. "Every pup does." She gets up with me. "Come, I will wash him and then, we will sing and dance for him."
My heart jumps in joy. Lysar laughs whenever I dance and make faces at him. When he laughs, mother laughs too. When mother laughs, father looks less scary.
I cover my face and removes. "Bah!"
Lysar laughs. I wipe his tears.
Mother raises his feet and cleans him with a cloth. "I thought I'd be gone when he will arrive," she says.
I don't understand her. Lysar laughs more when I make another face.
"As if birthing him was nearly a ride to the Moon. So, I named him, Lysar. The distance to the Moon. But he kept me alive. Kept me here." Mother chuckles while swinging the crib. "How would I have survived if it weren't for you beautiful pups of mine?"
She stands up and takes the dirty cloths away. She will come back with a bucket and cloth to wash him.
Till then, I will have to not Lysar cry. I swing the crib slowly.
"Next time, I will have to be quicker while entering by the window. When I'll get bigger, too big to enter the windows, I'll use the doors." I tell him.
He laughs and curls his hand around my finger.
"But to grow that big, I'll have to wait. I hate the wait."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Misty."
The familiar voice reached my ears.
My fingers could move. But eyes could barely open.
They were too heavy. Too hot.
Everything was burning. Everywhere.
My throat felt dry.
"It'll pass, Foxy. It'll pass."
I could only hum a little in response before her voice faded slowly.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Let me go!"
A growl follows.
Lysar bursts out in tears. Mother hides his face in her neck. Tara curls her skirt in her fists.
Oskar stands beside me. Anton grabs my elbow, sticking close.
"I'll kill myself. I don't want to be here! Let me go!" Sister-in-law cries her heart out.
Brother Robin looks hurt. But he is angry. He keeps dragging her towards out of the home.
Amelia is quiet. But I know she wants to speak. She waits for my mother before doing so.
"Take her to the Southern jungles. Away from the colony. No one has been able to sleep because of her." Aunt Rose screams angrily while holding little Alma in her arms. She cries a lot. More than Noira. More than Lysar.
Uncle Radu nods silently at father who looks the tallest and stands ahead of us.
I do not understand why it has to happen this way. Why is she from outside? The place where we never go to. When we cannot go to their packs, why has she come here.
It is unfair.
When months ago, our uncles brought Brother Robin home, it was funny. He was crying. He kept screaming, "My mate! My mate!"
Father told him to wait.
When I asked brother Kingston about 'mate', he told me to wait.
I hate the word 'wait'.
Everything was fine before Nysa came. She herself must be fine before coming here.
She only cries here. She doesn't like anyone. She spits on Amelia's face and fights with her. She claws at Robin's arms.
Why are we keeping her forcefully? She begs to go home. She never replies anyone with love.
She asks me for water sometimes. Because I give it to her without a word. Everyone else only starts complaining about her behavior.
"Let me go!" The female screams again at my brother.
He is embarassed. He doesn't look at her. If he does, he will pity her. Just like I do.
The Aunts are glaring at her.
"Nysa, it is all right." Sister Miggy walks forward to stand beside father. She is nervous herself. Her fists are holding her own skirt. Her face holds pity. "We all are happy to have you. You can sleep with us if you want."
Brother Robin flares his nostrils. Sister Lucine elbows her in the stomach.
Amelia looks jealous. But she will not say it.
"Sleep? She doesn't sleep!" Aunt Pola growls angrily. "She messes around the houses, searching for something. We all know what it is. No matter how much we welcome the brides! No matter how much we love the brides! It all goes down to spying!"
"Enough."
Aunt Pola steps back and breathes. Uncle Armedyl holds her hand. He stays quiet and talks soft unlike father and Uncle Reed.
No one dares to speak when Father talks. The air shifts and stomach churns. Shivers run on my back. Everyone's heads lower down. Beta Barald says Father talks just like how Ronyn used to as per the old stories.
"Robin, leave her hand."
Brother stiffens but he stops dragging her. He lowers his head in hurt. Before the Ceremony, he was jumping around. I do not understand what is so special to find a female from outside.
Aunt Pola always praises our females. They are more powerful than the foreigners.
But Mother is a foreigner. Yet she is nothing like this female. She talks soft and doesn't yell at father. She respects him. Father's eyes soften when he watches her. She gets too shy.
But Nysa has been screaming since the day she arrived.
"We didn't grab your hand and pulled you to this land." Father says calmly.
My heart beats faster when he uses this tone. He is angry but not enough to growl.
Nysa shudders. Sweat has started to glisten her forehead. Her face is already red from crying and screaming.
"You crossed the border on your own," he says as the view forms in my head. "There is no going back. If the border was removable, we would have done it long time ago. But it is useless. In the end, you are only hurting yourself and your mate."
Brother Robin's fists curls and the cracks can be heard. It amazes me everytime. How does he do it?
"There is no harm in trying." Nysa replies.
I feel an ache in my chest. Because I know what happens now. I know that face of my brother.
He makes it only when he sees blood.
His hand grabs her neck and he forces her to bow down. "Forgive her, father. I'll take her away."
Nysa lets out a cry at the sudden jerk. She is in pain.
"There is harm in trying." Father says. "As if we can change what Moon Goddess makes for forever. It is not in our hands. You may only choose if you want to live here like a loving member of our family or the hated one."
Nysa flares her nostrils. "I had to leave my home for forever to come here and please your son. You cannot even let me try out my luck for once," she says and grits her teeth. "You would have known the pain if it were your daughters being given to the monsters stuck inside a border."
A slap echoes.
Oskar, Anton and I stiffen together.
We never saw Brother Robin raising a hand on a female. He has always been loving to mother, our aunts, our sisters. He would wink and smile at the females of the village.
Why was he keeping her when he hated her?
Nysa falls on the ground with the force.
Sister Miggy steps ahead to help but Sister Lucine pulls her back.
Amelia isn't smiling anymore.
"I won't stop." Nysa says. "I will tell the world what secrets you all have been hiding here! Where are the old brides! Where are the males who crossed the border? You never sent them back! I will run away and cross the border! You will rot alone—"
Another slap. Along with a deadly growl.
Nysa cries and cups her cheek.
Robin had clawed her cheek too. The paste is still on her nose. What if her piercing is still painful?
I touch the hoop of my earlobe. Mine doesn't ache a little. Maybe, because I am a Lycan. She is a wolf.
"Robin, enough." Brother Kingston says. But he turns quiet when Father gives him a glare.
"Bring the whip," says Father.
My heart thumps loudly. "She won't understand this way. She will keep hurting my son with those cruel words. You parents didn't tell what a mate is. I won't see my son suffering like this," says Father calmly.
I look at Oskar and he looks back at me.
Anton hugs me from the side in fright.
"Alpha, she will listen." Mother speaks up slowly. She rubs Lysar's head. "She is nothing like what Valeria did. What I did. Pups are watching."
"Barald's mate learnt it all in one whip. If she doesn't, she might be craving those whip lashes." Father says.
I can only see his back. His hair and beard is spread around. He is tallest and broadest. Ground shakes when he talks. My heart shakes when he walks.
How Nysa must be feeling?
"That isn't as painful as cutting her leg," Uncle Reed says and smirks. "She is prideful because she can walk."
Brother Robin stares at the ground. Nysa is shocked by their words.
Their heart beats are normal. She knows that they aren't lying.
I have never seen them punishing a female. I thought we only attacked the animals. For hunting. Or wolves from dirty colonies when they disrespected any Lycan. Oskar told me that they whipped one of the wolf from dirt colonies because he wouldn't drop his gaze in front of father. Why would he do so? Everyone has to lower gaze and have respect for the Alpha.
Ask for forgiveness, Nysa.
But she is shaking.
"Don't you dare hurt our pup again!" Aunt Rose shouts while patting Alma's back who now cries more.
"You are here to complete him and make his family," says Uncle Armedyl.
Nysa sniffles and sobs softly. "I want to go home."
Father's growl echoed around.
I feel a pain in my chest and stumble back. Oskar staggers back and falls down. Anton lets out a cry like other pups.
Mother is rocking Lysar's back while Tara is sitting on the ground, hiding behind her skirt. Her nose is running.
I breathe and palm my heart. It is beating faster in fright.
I look back at Nysa who is frozen.
She hesitates while glancing up at him. Her cheek twitches and a gasp leaves her mouth. Brother kneels down and wraps his arm around her.
He makes her stand slowly. But she hides her face in his chest and tries to hid herself behind him.
Father nods at the brother who gulps slowly.
He rubs her back while Father turns around.
Sister Miggy sighs softly putting her head on the shoulder of Sister Lucine.
"We are your family now," says Father while glancing back at her. "There is no harm in accepting the fates. Harm is in trying to change things. It is useless. Severa doesn't let it happen."
Father looks around and shakes his head. "We aren't playing in the middle of the night. Go back to sleep," he growls lowly.
We all run back to the houses.
Oskar and Anton went to their parents.
"Do not hurt her, Robin. Or I'll come for you," Mother says to the brother when I close the window.
He is taking her to the jungles.
Oskar said that they would mate. He heard it from his father.
What did he mean?
Sister Lucine comes into the room, straight for my cot, laying a sleeping Lysar on the side. "Tara wants to sleep with mother, tonight. Father will have to make it up to her for scaring her." She chuckles.
I lay beside him, looking up at her.
She closes the window properly, steals a candle from my box. She loves candles. Even when she sees in the dark, she likes to sleep with a lit candle beside her bed.
She covers us with furs. Lysar snuggles into my side.
I clear my throat. "What is a mate, sister?"
She stops walking and stares at me in surprise. Kneeling on the floor, she pushes back hair from my forehead and smiles. "You know it. Just what Mother and Father are to each other. Kingston and Amelia. Robin and Nysa."
"Nysa is different. She fights." I say. "I don't understand. If she fights with Robin, then why she has to be with him."
It looks as if she doesn't have eyes. They look white in the dark.
She blinks and sighs.
"Our soul inside us is a part, Karam. Someone has to reach us. Meet us. So our soul can feel being completed. It's a blessing from Moon Goddess. She chooses these souls for us," she whispers softly.
She always knows everything.
"Just like she chose our Mother for our Father. Nysa for Robin. When we grow up, we become beasts. Our mates' calm those beasts," she says while gulping hard. "Mates soothes all the anger. All the wait. We feel happy. It is like a gift from Goddess. We cheer up when they smile. We jump when they love us. It is magical."
I don't understand.
"Nysa lived outside the border. She is away from her old home. She is young and scared here alone. Because she doesn't know us. She hasn't realized how much we enjoy here. She doesn't know our names yet," she explains while I turn on my left side to look properly at her. "When she will be a little old here, spend more time with us, she will not feel scared."
"Why doesn't brother Robin have a mate from our pack?"
She laughs. "Moon Goddess chooses. There is a world outside the border. Wolves live there. We, Lycans, are special. Thus, we are protected by a border. Only special ones are chosen for us. Nysa is special. Don't you remember how Robin waited for eight months for the ceremony? Now she's here. She will be fine soon."
I blink. "What if we don't have one?"
Her smile fades. "It hurts then. We will remain incomplete. The Beast won't be able to calm down. We won't find love. Mates teach us love. We love them. We care for them. Our heart beats faster when we love our family. Our heart will beat the fastest when our mate will become our family. Our mate is only ours for eternity and beyond. Doesn't it sound wonderful?"
I look at the wall behind her. "Do I have a mate too?"
She smiles. "You are just eleven. You don't have to worry about it so soon, Karam. But yes, you have a mate too. Somewhere in this world. We don't know where she is though. Hidden in our pack as a Lycan. Or outside the border, a wolf."
"Like a special one?" I repeat her words.
She nods with a smile. "Yes," she chuckles. "Who knows if she isn't even born yet."
A fear spreads in my heart. "What if she will fight with me like Nysa?"
"She won't. Ah! Who will fight with my beautiful brother?" She whispered while caressing my cheek. "She will be in love with you the moment she will look at these dimples." She says while poking her fingers in my cheeks.
I smile and try to cover my eyes.
"These amber eyes will bewitch her. She will forget her home when she will learn how good my brother is at dancing. How hardworking he is. How he takes care of his younger siblings. How he is his mother's dearest pup. How tall he is."
I chuckle when she tickles my side.
She yawns when I yawn first.
"Did you find your mate?"
She blushes. "I haven't shifted yet, little brother. When we shift and beasts come out. We get stronger and powerful. Wherever our mate will be, we will find the scent sooner. I will after shifting into a beautiful beast."
"But you have teeth."
She chuckles. "Not as big as you think. They are yet to grow sharper. It takes time."
"I want to grow up and turn into a beast. I want to smell her scent and find her." I say while looking in the dark.
She hums lowly. "We will have to wait for it."
I sigh.
Looking everywhere through dark, among the light, I wonder how my mate will look like.
"Where will I find her?"
The voice comes out clean, burdened with no stress. Sister Lucine's voice makes me believe her easily.
"You won't have to. She will find you. Karam."
I can hear my own breathing. Why was my heart beating so fast?
"When?"
She smiles at me before kissing my forehead.
"When the love will blind you."
.
.
.
.
.
.
_______
"What do you think?"
Please vote and comment.
___
Hope, you liked it.
This was the little surprise I was talking about.
We are going to see some deepest moments from Karam's memory. It is happening because as you know she was being marked.
Let's see what happens ahead.
-
Please take care.
The pandemic is still not over.
Will update soon.
Love,
Nikki<3