『Dying is easy to live now that's a challenge』
Day twenty-eight: you're back
There's black. It's the only colour Izuku's brain picks out. It's everywhere. No light or shadow. Jusy one very big mass of black that holds his soul captive.
But there's something about the colour that has Izuku's heart warming. It should be scary, he should be worried but his brain calms ever so slightly. A familiar face peers down at him just out of focus. It's like an old film. Over saturated, grainy and dark. A name that dances on the tip of his tongue. "Izuku- Kid please stay with me!"
Huh someone was calling him. It's distorted or perhaps it's just far away. The face loomed closer, what Izuku assumes is the mouth moves frantically. "Are you calling me?" Izuku asked. This blurred figure continues talking to him, but Izuku can't make out what they say. It seems like they're calling him. He made out the first part but now it's silent. Who is that?
"Who are you?" Izuku tries. There's no response. "You know me?" Izuku asks aswell as states. Something tells him he knows whoever this is. The figure shifts around the picture almost frantically. A second figure appears a lot shorter that the first. The two seem to argue or shout. "What are you saying?" Izuku whispers as the grainy figures loop before burning out leaving behind the feeling of loss. Darkness returns to him and he's alone again.
'At least his Izuku isn't gone forever.' Someone in his mind says. Izuku looks around for the owner of the voice. He's met with black. "You won't find me." The voice says setting Izuku more on edge. "Where are you?" He asks, spinning in the black void. 'The same place you are,' it says. 'Your mind.' Izuku frowns. He knew he was sleeping that much is obvious. A dream then?"I've herd you before." Izuku says. 'You have.' The voice agrees. 'I was trying to save you, it didn't work.' "Save me?" Izuku asks. 'Yes. I tried to over power your mind so your father wouldn't take it but I'm too weak. He got you and now the memories are gone.'
Izuku mind clicks. "I do know you!" He exclaimed. "You showed me a memory before when I was... when I-?" Izuku stumbles scrunching his face. "Who are you?" He asks.
The voice sighs. 'It's okay Izuku, you are not to blame.' The white haired male nods. "Do I know you?" He asks. 'You do.' The voice responds. "Can you take me away from the darkness?" The voice goes silent. 'I can-' it huffs frustrated. 'I can show you something. But I can't let you leave.' Izuku shrugs accepting the answer. "What will you show me?"
The projector of his brain appears again. It's frozen on a particularly unclear part. Izuku squints. "Who's that?" He asks. The voice stays quiet. "Hello?" Izuku asks out letting his gaze wander from the fuzzy image. 'Wat-ch I-it.'
Izuku startles, the voice sounded like it came from with in him. But he complies looking at the image. Slowly the grain clears up taking with it the burnt, saturated filter. "That's a man?" Izuku says studing the cleared up image. "Do I know him?" Izuku asks. 'Look.' The voice rings sounding strained in his ear. The image wobbles before shattering into tiny crystals. "That's pretty." Izuku smiles. 'I can't maintain memories I haven't lived. That's your job, but to do that you need to remember.'
Izuku frowns again. "Have I forgotten you?" Izuku whispers. Scared of the answer. 'You've forgotten a lot Izuku.' "I don't want to forget."
The voice sympathises 'I know. I've watched since you were born. I know how he treats you. I know what he does to you. I know how hard you fight.' Izuku slouches. "You make no sense to me. That man he made no sense. He's dark, earthy and warm. He's Calming." Izuku says trying to keep the image in his head. 'Yes he is. He cares for you.' The voice says. 'Think hard. What's his name,' the voice guides. 'What does he sound like? How does he act. What does he say?'
Izuku tries. Izuku tries so hard to scavenge his brain for any hint of this man. He uses what the voice has asked. He kept the image in his mind. He dug and dug through years of memories. "I can't-" Izuku complains feeling the strain of over exhaustion. 'You can, think, remember, dig.' The voice says.
'Dig-' "-zuku almost there-" The voice glitches dipping lower. It's gravely and deep but calming and comforting. "Kid why are you here?" Izuku snaps his head up. He's found it. The name of the person glides on the tip of his tongue. He opens his mouth to try and speak it. He needs to find and hold on to the information.
His voice is shaky and uncertain. Izuku takes a deep breaths and focuses, "Sota?" Izuku frowns, it wasn't Sota. That didn't sound right. 'Close Izuku keep going you're close.' The voice encourages, clearing as it sounded around him. No longer in his head. His head, inside of his mind that was also in his head? Whoa confusing much.
This is the person that's always there. Izukus feelings says he holds deep respect for them. The way his brain shows up little snap shots. All different detail from eyes to voice, tone and even body language.
If only he could remember this new man...
A man! It's a man! But what should he call him? A man who lives in shadow but called out for him to stay. 'Sounds like a father, don't you think?' The voice helpfully supplies. The thought draws a bubble of laughter from Izuku. "This man seems like more than that. A father, a mentor maybe even a hero."
He hasn't even realised his environment changing how his eyes crinkle shut as he smiles. Izuku soon opens them to see his new surroundings. He drops the smile as he floats. It seems he's alone in a vast space again? Where is he now? 'You made it to the other side.' The voice says.
"What? had the universe killed him off already. Man I knew I was sick but is this really what comes after life... seems a bit boring..."
'Izuku-'
"I'd rather be a ghost and haunt people."
'No izuku-'
"At least that would be less boring."
'IZUKU.' The voice shouts spooking the boy.
His body fades in and out of visibility as he hovers. Looking around all he can see is gray and blue mixed into a Smokey night sky, occasionally broken up with flashes of red orange and green. Each one shooting high up like a flare and silently bursting before diffusing into the sky. Even though he's surrounded with the darker colours he can see as clear as day. "At least its not black." He huffs.
There's no direct light source but it's bright all around. Honestly it's confusing to try to understand so Izuku doesn't think.
He listens to the universe. Feeling a deep voice inside of him reaching out to something far away. A tug on his being trying to return him to a place he belongs.
Maybe his father is calling for him with a quirk? But it feels strange. Alien. Its not hot the tell tail force his father uses.
It's like he has a string connecting him to this place. His body screams for him to leave and go where fate is requesting. But a small piece of his brain asks that he stays. His father needs him, It calls
He is needed here.
He has worth here.
'You are trapped here.' The voice argues back.
Izuku feels the pull of being split in half again. This time pain comes with it. He feels his bones ache and grown and his body tugs to opposite side. He feels like he's not breathing. He can't control his body.
He feels dead.
Like he has no being that is living. Is he breathing? It feels like a strong pull of astral projection. Yet he is still in his body, well as much as he can be in this weird dream like state. A being but he has no connection to life. Then the tugging ends.
His body relaxes. He heaves in a breath, he must not have been breathing, good to know. He shivers settles in the new soothing warmth that appears. Contradicting how he's been feeling.
The warmth is faint and far away but it's steadily gaining. Coming closer and closer. Getting hotter and hotter. Izuku panics for a moment worried it will burn if it ever arrives at him.
But his fears ease when a quiet voice hushes him. It repeats calming phrases like a mantra and laughs softly putting the green eyed boy completely at ease. Izuku's eyes half lidded, face at peace. His stiff constrained body eases, the warmth relaxes his muscles. slouching as much as this weird dream will allow him too. 'Relax Izuku let me take you to my memories instead.' The kind voice soothes.
Izuku nods slowing the voice to seep in and over take him. It pushes happy feelings and short memories onto him. All fuzzy and hazy. Izuku hears the sounds a feels through the voice. He's calm. He's happy and stable until the voice goes silent.
The boy feels his stomach flip as he waits for the inevitable. "Something is wrong." He shouts. Trying to find the voice. "Hay can you hear me?" Izuku shouts again. 'I zu ku?' The voice breaks patchy. "I'm here!" He called.
"Where are you-whoaaa" He grasps out at nothing as he plummeted of the edge into pure darkness. Not again. The illumination that was around disappears. No please not again. Izuku looks up feeling an odd sense of Déjà vu. Has he called before? He stretches out an arm hoping to catch or be caught. Looking up he sees two boys. The reach out for him but he's falling to fast. He squints but the two get burry the further Izuku falls.
Izuku can't tell if he's shouting, screaming or crying. He can't hear anything, but his mouth is definitely open, and his eyes water. He feels like begging. Maybe the extreme plea would wake him up from this new nightmare.
His mind seems so heavy. Like memories that weigh a tone are flooding it. When he closes his eyes strange faces flash before him. A man so short prying his eyes open to flash a light on them. Strange glasses or goggles and a moustache. He can hear his fathers voice commanding something and the man nodding before letting his eyes fall closed again.
He feels movement but not like he's falling. Someone's carrying him gently stroking his face, whispers things he can't make out. Izuku knows that's his fathers voice. He knows what he's hearing is probably nothing good. Then he falls again. He plunged beneath an invisible blanket that shrouds him in cold. He can't breath he's under water. Feeling the liquid creep into every area of him. Holding his breath to save his life but he's not feeling light headed. He's not feeling the burn of his lungs. He's not feeling the ache in his chest.
He's not feeling at all.
He's not even breathing.
Emerald eye flutters open to see the dimly lit room. "Oh good morning my beauty. How do you feel?" Izuku turns his head slowly to see the man looking down at him. "Tied... tried to, Umm no father said you... forget...black... it was warmth? Dark." Izuku slurs out letting his eyes slip shut again.
A pounding headache seems to slip his thoughts around, sloshing together like water in a shaker. "Oh my," his father cooed smiling gently. "Your fever picked up again." Izuku wants to question how he knew without a thermometer but stays quiet in his hazy daze of confusion and choppy thoughts. A cool hand presses against the boys head managing to sooth some of the ache. "There how's this?" The man says leaning down and placing a kiss to the mop of white hair.
Izuku nuzzled the cool hand trying to sort his brain out. There was so much information he couldn't pick anything out. Fact from fiction it's all so confusing. "Mmmm" the boy says smiling. "Now my gorgeous son sleep soundly."