『It's a strange world isn't it?』
Day twenty-seven: the split mind of a dead boy
"Izuku my sweet boy can you sit up?" His father coos sweetly, placing a tray of food on the ground next to the boys futon. The tray holds a bowl of soup and a water bottle, easy to eat and digest. The smell brings Izuku out of his trance. He looks around wearily trying to find the source.
"Father?" Izuku rasps out. His voice croaks like he's been screaming or crying. Thinking back to his restless nights maybe the screams and cries in his dreams happen to him for real. Eri did mention yesterday in the café how he cries sometimes when he sleeps.
He seems to be crying a lot recently. Izuku finds that his mind feels like it's splitting in two and every thing is fuzzy. There's two of him and he doesn't know the other but they know him. It's unsettling. It's overwhelming, so maybe just this once Izuku won't be mad that he's crying.
His father smiles sadly down at him, it looks genuine and caring. His father always seems to know what's going through his head. Izukus father seems more switched on with his emotions that Izuku is himself. It all adds to how great a parent he is. Always soft and gentle. Never angry or violent. Always doing what's best and never ever judging him.
Izuku wouldn't even be surprised if his father really did know what's going on in his head. His father has many quirks that help many people from all around Japan. Helping heroes, villains and civilians. Izuku hopes to be at least a sliver of what his father is. Able to share his kindness through the world to help every one.
But Izuku doesn't have a quirk. And that's why he's sick in the first place. If he wasn't so weak his father wouldn't have to take time off just to look after him. He's wasting his fathers precious time and for what? Izuku can't do anything at the moment. His body collapsed just because he took Eri to the park. He tried to be kind to her and now they both have a sickness.
Izuku is so glad he got the worst one. He'd hate to see Eri suffer because he aloud them to go out. He should have asked his father! But he didn't want to bother him! Gosh can he do anything that won't end up going wrong?
If he was normal his father would be less stressed and happier, his siblings would be happier too, Izuku could go about his days helping them without being asked. Like a little house husband showing his gratitude. Taking the chorus off their plate so they have more time to relax. Instead his father is here, sat sadly next to him having to use quirks on him to keep him awake and moving.
The only problem will be if his father can make out the fuzzy haze his mind has become.
"Oh my precious doll what am I to do with you?" His father questions down at him. Even kneeling down the man still looms over the white haired boy.
Izuku cracked a smile and shifted as best he can. It seems Izuku's immune system has seen better days. The time outside yesterday caused him to catch a bug of some sort. A high fever and fatigue plagued his body. Eri luckily seems to only have a slight cough so the eldest sibling tomura has taken to looking after her. Izuku sighs happy with his evaluation.
The children's father has taken the day off work to look after Izuku who seems to be in much worse shape then the youngest. "Sorry for the trouble father." He says wincing at the movement. His father chuckled before placing himself behind the boy and pulling him up to sit in his lap. This caused Izuku to let out a whine that had his father awwing at him. "S-sorry." Izuku whispers face already flushed because of his fever.
"Now now that was too cute if you keep this up I'll never be able to let you go." His father says grabbing the bowl and spoon. "Open wide now," he says squishing the boys jaw with his free hand. Izuku complies letting the man feed his son. "That's my good boy." He says releasing the hold on the boys jaw instead wrapping his now free hand around the boys torso. "My my," he says squeezing the boys waist. "You're far to skinny no wonder your body falls ill so often."
Izuku tries to squirm uncomfortably. "Sorry father I just don't have an appetite, I forget eating is something I need." Izuku says quietly looking down. His father hums shovelling another spoonful into the teens mouth. "Don't fret too much little doll I can help you, you are my child after all."
A bright smile beams down from his fathers face. Izuku tries to copy it leading his head up to face the man. "I'm not a child father I'm..." he pauses letting his head fall down again. How old was he? He can't remember. What year even is it? Is he still the lost four year old or is he 10? How old is Eri or tomura? Is he 18?
"Now don't think so hard precious, you'll hurt your aching mind. You are just like a baby to me. So small and young. You can barely do tasks Eri can, so extra help will always be needed. But," he says placing the spoon down to caress the boys cheek "I know your brain is much more developed. If your quirklessness wasn't such a toll on your body maybe I could let you go but alas," he says turning to face the door. "You are just too small."
Izuku thinks hard about what his father just said. He's a baby, he's small and weak and can't really do much. This all seems to be true his father acts like he's small carrying him around helping him with simple tasks. He knows he's old enough to do most of these on his own and knows only yesterday that he'd taken Eri out yet now he's stuck in bed again with his father degrading him back to a baby.
To be fair his father is big. Very tall very broad. Izuku can easily curl up in the mans lap. He's barely as tall as the adult when he's sitting down. Even then Izuku still lacks a few inches.
As he thinks, he is partly aware that his father has gone back to feeding him. Maybe if Izuku said something his father would back off. But his idea of possession over Izuku is something the whole family sides with. He may be older but he can't do anything without a quirk.
After a while Izuku became tired so his father sighed placing the half empty bowl and spoon down. "It seems you need more rest let me chill this for you again," the man says taking the cloth previously on Izuku's forehead. He lays the boy back down comfortably stroking his white hair gently as one of his quirks cools the rag.
The green eyed boy looks up at the man eyes fluttering. He is so lucky to have a family that cares about him. And especially when his father holds so many powers. So what if he had never been told his age. Or if his father is babying him. He's loved. He has a home. He's safe. That's all that matters.
Izuku can't say he's not jealous of his father, brother and sister. He's always wanted a quirk yet he seems to be burdened with not having one. This has made him practically useless. As the white haired boys thoughts deepen, a painful frown made its way onto his face.
The older man laughs placing the newly cooled rag down. The shock brings Izuku back into the room blinking slowly. "Father!" He whines again. "Oh my creation," he starts caressing the boys face again. "I had to stop your frown. It has never suited you." He says slightly pinching one cheek. "What ever made that expression appear hmm?" He questions down at the boy.
Izuku immediately seems embarrassed. "I um well you see..." he starts looking to the side breaking eye contact. "Embarrassed are we? What ever could your head be thinking..." His father trails off. "If you are unable to tell me I could always..." The man trails off slowly seeping into the younger boys mind.
Now then my perfect boy. What's got you upset?
Izuku goes stiff in his bed, his father doesn't notice pushing deeper into his mind. Izuku desperately tries to shoo him out before he learns of anything too secret like his dreams or-
Dreams? His father repeats echoing in his head. What dreams exactly? He presses.
Oh sugar.
Izuku? His father lulls.
"No." Izuku whines trying to push the voice out of his head.
Now now darling I just want to know. You can't push me out you're far too weak.
"No they're scary." And a bit depressing and sad. And make him feel worthless. He just wants to be like him. He wants to be him. He just wants-
Like who izuku? Who do you see in your dreams. Who do you want to be? His father pushes forcing for an answer.
Izuku wriggles tears pricking his eyes. "Dreams of being a..." he trails off mind still in a daze due to his fathers appearance. "Oh my flower." His father says returning back and leaving his thoughts alone. "Are you sad you have no quirk?" Izuku nods numbly. "You know I'd be happy to give you one but your body, It's not strong enough and I'd hate to loose you, the pain and grief I'd hold knowing I was the one to cause you pain. It would be soul crushing." He says twisting his words and making them so sweet sounding.
Izuku blinks wondering why his mind just screamed at him. Something about lies and manipulation, it sounded like that imaginary friends his brain made up, the one who knows him. The original. But that may be his own imagination.
Guilt floods Izuku's body as the aftermath of his fathers words sink in. "No father, I'd never ask that of you!" Izuku rushes. Fix it. Fix what you said! Make him happy. Don't get hurt. Don't let him know.
"If anything I look up to you and your amazing power. You help so many people! Your truly a hero to me and our family." He says trying to cheer his father up. I wish I could be helpful to you and our family. The words go unspoken but he's sure his father heard them.
His father hates izuku putting himself down. Any bad thoughts about himself are strictly prohibited. "I'm sorry father I didn't mean it." Izuku apologised looking away from the man.
He prays he didn't disappoint him as that would only make him feel worse. How can he always manage to ruin everything nice.
His father smiles widely. Letting a hand run up his arm to his cheek. He pinched it lightly before grabbing his chin forcing the boy to look at him. "Oh dear Izuku, did I hear you putting yourself down? I can't have that's against your rules." He says sinister smile still in place.
Izuku's mind screams for him to say no. Fix it. Fix what you did. Don't get hurt. Don't let him know!
"I-" Izuku hesitates. His father tips his head up further. "Yes Izuku?" He urges almost daring him to say no.
"I- I was. I was telling myself off for not being useful to you. I want to help not be helped."
The tight grip vanishes. "Good. It would have been very bad if you had lied that would have been two rules broken." Izuku nods steadying his heart rate.
"Look at you my green eyed doll you are so precious, so adorable I'd keep you all to myself if I could. You're as fragile as a cherry blossom. If I let you go you'll float away." His father exclaimed. Izuku shivers at the thought. His father did keep him tho he had very little freedom. His only escape came in the form of his dreams and Eri's requests. "I am already yours father." Izuku says sweetly. Beaming up at the man. Pushing any countering thought away so deeply that his father can't find them. Ever.
His father smiles and sighs, his hands caress Izuku's arms and up to his boys face. "You are. Just like your uncle. So kind and precious. Devoted to me and your family. You look like him too. With you white hair and green eyes." Calloused fingers circling too close to Izuku's eyes.
"He was also quirkless you know." Izuku listens closely. He's being monitored. He'd like to keep his sight one wrong word or move and he may be "fixed"
He remembers Eri talking about their uncle but the memory is fussy at best. Like most of yesterday afternoon.
"My uncle." Izuku tests out. "Yes my son. Sadly he died before tomura and you were born. You'd have got on so well with him. I miss him so very dearly but you my little doll help me grief and let go." Izuku notes the fondness and pain that his father hides. Maybe the possessiveness runs deeper that just the mans son. "I'm helping?" Izuku whispers.
His father shuffled so he was next to Izuku again. "Yes you are him with so much more. I have so much more. Now sleep, you need it." The man says as a wave of drowsiness washed over Izuku. "Yes father." He says slipping his eyes closed to embrace the darkness of sleep. He knows this tiredness is forced upon him. One of his fathers quirks no doubt but he's sure his father only does it out of love and care. Izuku finds it hard to sleep on his own so his father is helping him. Like any father should.