A little while later I got up and saw a new message on my phone.
Hey, its Kyle.
Hey Kyle! I miss you : (
I miss you too Tiger ; )
WYD?
Nothin You?
There's a party tonight. I know you don't go out as much, but you'll be with me
It sounds fun
Seriously?
Yea lol I don't wanna be home lol
I get that, I can pick you up in an hour?
Sounds good, I cant wait
I get up with excitement and get in the shower and then get dressed. I decide to dress more lowkey since its Kyle and I'm lazy. I put my hair half up and curl the bottom, my outfit is black skinny jeans and a Halestorm T-shirt. I do some homework while I wait since I want to graduate and leave this shit place.
Here.
Okay Ill be down in a second.
I put on my shoes grab my phone and keys and quietly exit the front door locking it behind me.
I see Kyles' red pick up Truck and knock on the window. He wasn't paying attention so he screamed making me laugh. The door clicks and I let myself in.
"Jesus Christ! You scarred me girl!"
"I figured you would be more aware of your surroundings!"
"Nah Tiger girl."
We laughed it off and he started the car to wherever we were supposed to go.
"So, how you been, Tiger?"
I shrug not saying anything. He doesn't say anything until we get to a red light and he looks at me. "Please Spencer, please let me in."
I let out a sigh, "I don't know what you want me to say, I don't know what there is to be said."
"We used to be so close. You, me, and Fallon."
"I know Kyle, I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it anymore it was so so painful it became too much, all of it."
"So you just casted me aside like I was nothing? Like we didn't grow up with each other? Like we all weren't the best of friends? The trio? Huh? Your still close to Fallon and I technically knew you longer! She tried to keep up with me but without you it just wasn't the same. You guys ditched me, you know how that makes me feel?! I don't even know what happened and if you ever cared about me then give me an explanation please."
What he was saying made sense, when I moved to this town at five years old Kyle lived down the road, it wasn't until the first day of kindergarten when me and him met Fallon and we all became friends.
The light turned green and he drove in silence muttering 'unbelievable' under his breath.
Once I gathered my thoughts I spoke up, "There was for of us."
Kyle furrowed his eyebrows, "Huh?"
"Four. You, me, Fallon, and Luke. You didn't say Luke."
He gasped, "Spencer.... I- I'm so sorry, I just-"
"It's Okay. I haven't even uttered his name in over a year. But there were four of us, even though he was five years younger than us he was apart of the group too. He was my brother Kyle. And then—and then he was no longer here. And every time I saw you I saw Luke, you too were so alike, we always called him mini Kyle. I couldn't deal with it Bear. I really really couldn't and I'm sorry I am but it hurts so much."
Now it was his turn to be quiet I guess he didn't expect so much honesty.
"You remember why I started calling you Tiger?"
I shook my head no, "Cuz, Tigers are fearless, and brave, they care about the pack and do what they can to protect the pack. That's you Spencer, always putting on a brave face, always trying to do the right thing, taking care of your mom, taking care of Fallon, caring so much about others you forget to care for yourself. I miss Luke too, he was like a little brother to me but he wasn't my little brother he was yours and as much pain and sadness I feel, I cant imagine what it was like for you. But you're a tiger, I know it."
Tears come to my eyes. I wanted to tell him I was worthless, I wasn't brave or strong or anything he said, I was weak and broken. Talking about Luke made me so sad, the pain was still there even after all these years. But it felt good to hear his name, no one has brought him up in years its like everyone forgot, but I didn't forget, I never can.
"It feels good talking about him. No one mentions it, not even Fal."
"They're probably scarred to Spence, your not exactly open about stuff."
I nod in agreement.
"Maybe.... We can?" Kyle asks
I smile, "I think I would like that Bear, I don't want to forget him."
"You wont I have an identic memory."
I chuckle knowing its true, I could give him about any date, and he would be able to recall everything that happened that day.
"So, where we headed?"
"The fields, there's a bonfire."
"What? You should have said so before I would have brought marshmallows!"
"Back seat."
I look back and sure enough there are everything we need for smores and he got me my favorite beer.
"YES!"
He laughed and soon we arrive.
There were already a huge cluster of cars and more parked on the dirt path. Since the town is big fields and the farmers have to keep one field empty, they let the kids hang out as long as everyone is respectful, and it doesn't get too out of hand. Its about the only thing we are able to do in this shitty ass small town.
Parking Kyle honks letting everyone know we have arrived, I guess. He is part of the lacrosse team which for some reason is a big thing around here so his team comes by and they all start greeting each other.
Great. More testosterone, just what I need in life.
I get a beer from the back and give it to Kyle to open. Now everyone is focused on me.
"Hey there.... Uuuhhh....."
"Spencer."
"Oh yea! Spencer! Riiight."
Fucking idiots.
They are all giving me looks while I'm just tryna drink my beer in peace.
"Can I help you guys or something?"
Kyle awkwardly chuckles and I give him a half shrug.
One of the other guys decides its his moment to shine, "Nah girl. Kyle just didn't say anything about a girl that's all."
I start laughing at the absurdity of this, "First off my name is Spencer and you shall refer to me as such since not two seconds ago I told everyone my name. second, it's the fucking town bonfire everyone comes, why does it matter who he brings?"
"Well you know, your just not that great to look at."
I start laughing even harder, "right because as a woman all I'm worth is what some stupid, below average guy thinks of me right? I'm just supposed to be something to fuck that it right? Not that it fucking matters but we've been friends since we were five so you don't know shit."
I take the beers and the marshmallows and turn to where Kyle is starring, "Bye Bear, I'll catch up later okay?" I give him a smile but I'm certainly not sticking around for that bull shit.
Walking close to the fire I plop down finishing my beer I see I'm now gonna have to struggle opening the other ones.
Freaking great.
I try to twist it since that's what Kyle did, but it won't budge. Maybe the other way? Nope. Still won't budge. I try using my shirt for grip not really caring at this point, but it won't twist off.
'God freaking dammit!' I shout.
"Woah there."
I hear from behind me. Looking up I see Kyle amused face.
"Not funny." I grumble.
Kyle sits down next to me taking the bottle and popping it open with ease.
"How??"
He laughs as I roll my eyes and open the marshmallows assembling them on the skewers.
"What happened to the Neanderthals?"
He gives me a pointed look, "Told them I'd catch up with them later. They said not to bring that 'Spencer' around so for now its just me and you."
"Well at least they called me by my name."
We chuckled at that and I handed him his stick. Kyle is not someone that gets bothered easily so I know he isn't mad at all. He knows I don't have the patience with people like them and I wasn't going to sit there and take it because I owe them nothing.
We assemble a bunch of smores and because people around us started to smell them we gathered quite a crowd. I didn't mind though because no one engaged with me, I just assembled the smores whilst Kyle toasted the marshmallows. Some people brought different types of chips and others had cookies from the store that got passed out. Fireball, titos, and Whiskey started making the rounds and the popular girls lead by Monica had Pink Moscato; snobs.
Me and Kyle sit and talk while handing out the smores. I have to keep him from burning the marshmallows and he keeps me from being a bitch to everyone, it's a good partnership. We sit and talk, he catches me up on life, telling me all about lacrosse and even though I don't care for the sport I care about him and how it is a huge passion in his life, so I sit there and listen, responding when appropriate. During him telling me how he scored i see movement from the corner of my eye.
In my direct line of sight, I see Tyler, all in black, with his leather jacket making out with Monica. I can tell he has his hands under her shirt and now her pink bra is exposed to everyone. I few guys yell out a 'woop!' and 'get it!' which makes Monica laugh for whatever reason.
I can tell Kyle is watching me, so I turn to face him, "What?"
"Didn't I see you and him at the dinner awhile back?"
"Yea"
I take a few big sips of my beer.
He raises his eyebrows, "What was that about?"
Now its my turn to raise my eyebrows, "We went to the beach and after I was hungry."
"Uh-huh"
"You got something to say?"
I finish the second beer.
"Just doesn't seem the beach type."
I laugh really laud at that. "Yea your right."
"Neither are you though. You always hated the beach."
"Yea true. Too much sand everywhere."
"But you went to the beach with Tyler Madden?"
I let out a breath, "yea I thought we have established that."
He holds up his hand in surrender, "Okay, just wondering what's going on with you too, rumors are going around between you too."
I nod, I pretty much knew this from the way Fallon hadn't been gossiping with me as of late, I figure it doesn't matter though, nothing goes on between us anyways and he is clearly preoccupied so it doesn't concern me on bit.
"Yea, they're just rumors though. Typical high school bullshit."
He nods, "Good."
For some reason the way he said good irritated me, in fact this whole situation irritated me, plus I have a nice buzz happening and Monica's annoying sounds were ruining it.
"I'm gonna go get a water bottle you want one?" I say
Kyle shakes his head no and I get up, stumbling a bit I giggle and salute him off to find some water.
Wandering off I find a cooler with sodas and water bottles, making sure the bottle is unopened and clean I take it and take a few sips. It was nice hanging with Kyle, but I am not a people person anymore so its hard interacting with everyone, its exhausting. Drinking makes it easier, but I have to be careful since I love drinking a whole lot. Sitting on top of the cooler I observe everyone with their friends having fun. I'm here alone but I'm happy. Its better that way, I'm so damaged and ruined no one can deal with that, its better this way.
"Hey."
I screamed, "AAAHH!!!"
Turning to the sound I see Tyler smirking at me.
"Dude what the fuck! Stop doing that!"
"I didn't do nothing. Stop being so jumpy."
"You scarred me!!!"
"I noticed."
I rolled my eyes, "Can I help you?"
"Get up."
"Uh- excuse me?"
He rolls his eyes, "I want a water."
"Ask nicely."
He steps closer giving me a look, "Move."
"No."
He puts his boot on the cooler and leans in, "Do you even realize you're the only one that talks to me like that?"
"Cant imagine why. Your kind of an ass."
He lets out a little laugh, "A little?"
I look up at him and nod, he doesn't say anything for a moment and just stares at me while I sip my water.
"Can you move for a minute. I want a water."
I pause, well at least he wasn't as rude this time, baby steps. So, I get up to let him get a water.
After he gets his water, he then proceeds to sit on the cooler.
"Hey! That's my spot!"
Rolling his eyes he scoots over so I can sit next to him. I scowl but sit anyways. I can feel his warmth radiating next to me and for a second, I think that this isn't so bad.
"Having fun?" He asks.
"Yea its nice I guess."
"That's good, I saw you with that guy."
I nod, "Yea that's Kyle you met him at the diner shack that one time."
"I remember. That was fun."
"Yea it was. Its funny me any Kyle were talking about it and he was confused."
"Why?"
"I don't like the beach."
He widens his eyes in surprise. "Why'd you let me take you to the beach then?"
I sat and thought about it for a second, "I like the beach with you."
At that he gives me a mind-blowing smile that absolutely takes my breath away and I can't formulate any cognizant thought.
"I like the beach with you too."
I smile back at him and hold up my water bottle, 'Cheers.' I say as we tap our waters together and sip in silence.
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Hey Guys! I've been going through a lot and super depressed lately which is why I haven't been posting but im finally getting out of it so here ya go.
Let me know what you think as well what you might wanna see happen next :)
*EDITED* Im Finally doing better :)