Over a week had passed and besides her occasional meetings with the Marauders to practice transfiguring, Eleanor could most of the time be found studying in the Library. She studied with her friends or just on her own, whatever suited her best on that day. Amelia had definitely noticed something was up with her, but every time she asked about the matter Eleanor just started to talk about something else.
The truth was that Eleanor herself didn't even know what was wrong. That night after seeing Sirius with that girl, who she learned was Denice Wiley, her heart ached every time she thought back at it. It definitely didn't help when she found out the two were actually dating. Even James had tried to confront her with it, but she didn't want to hear it. She had other things to be bothered with than something silly such as that.
The only person who wasn't aware of anything was Regulus, and each time they met up to just go over their Potions assignments together, Eleanor felt like a weight was lifted from her chest. At least, that's what she thought.
The two of them were sitting together at their usual desk in the Library on a Tuesday afternoon, writing their essays on the Calming Draught. It was also the day of that month's full moon, and Remus had gone to the Hospital Wing to stay there that morning. He had only told her, she hadn't visited him like she usually would. Eleanor didn't feel like it.
"Were you at the match Saturday?" Regulus asked her with furrowed eyebrows. Ravenclaw had played Hufflepuff and lost with two hundred ten to seventy.
"Yeah, I was, but it was really boring," she said flatly. Regulus chuckled beside her.
Eleanor continued to write, trying to get her essay finished. But Regulus seemed to have other things on his mind when she noticed he was tapping his fingers nervously. She got to learn that he did that when he was really focused, or nervous. Just like she picked at her earlobe when she studied.
Eleanor put down her quill. "Okay, what's wrong," she said and turned to him.
"Well- it's just that I've seen you kind of avoiding James and his little gang-"
"Bloody hell, not you as well," she groaned, rubbing her temple. Regulus raised his eyebrows and Eleanor gave him a sideways look.
"Have you been stalking me?" she asked him with a grin. He rolled her eyes but she noticed his cheeks flush a little anyway.
"Of course I haven't, who do you take me for?" he snorted, "But I've just noticed for example with dinner and stuff that you don't really sit with them anymore." He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.
Eleanor shrugged. "I've just got other things on my mind right now, as should they," she said with a frown. She continued to write. "Bloody OWLs coming up but they never even bother to study."
"Well, I dunno about the others but I know Sirius doesn't need to," Regulus said while fidgeting with one of the buttons on the cuff of his shirt. Eleanor stopped writing and thought for a second. Regulus had never spoken to her about his brother. It always felt like a sort of taboo to her.
She lifted her head up a bit and put a strand of hair behind her ear. "Have you two ever talked after what happened?" she asked softly. His grey eyes turned away from her and he shook his head.
"I'm gonna ask him to come back though when we go home for the Christmas holidays," Regulus mumbled. Eleanor's eyes widened slightly in surprise.
"Chances are slim he will, of course. He probably likes it way better with the Potters." Eleanor knew for a fact that that was true, Sirius would never go back to 'that hellhole,' as he always put it.
Regulus cleared his throat, "But I can always try," he added softly, more to himself than to Eleanor. She could hear the pain in his voice, but she just wondered why it was there. She was going to have to be careful with this because it could easily ruin their friendship.
Eleanor turned in her chair to face him properly. "I know it's none of business, but why does Sirius- hate you so much?" she asked cautiously.
Regulus sighed deeply, shrugged, and shook his head. "I wouldn't know for the life of me," he said, briefly looking into her eyes. Eleanor diverted her gaze shortly and then looked back up at him. She knew what had to be done, and now was the time to do it.
"It's not your fault," she whispered.
Regulus frowned slightly. "I know it's not my fault, but I just-"
"It's not your fault," she whispered again, still looking at him. His eyes roamed her face and he shook his head.
Eleanor put a hand on his shoulder. She felt his body tense up. "Reg, it's not your fault," she looked up at him.
And then it happened. The wall he had built up around himself for protection had finally broken down as tears started to roll down his cheeks. He wasn't sobbing like crazy, though. He had just hit a point of realization, and it hurt. He propped one elbow up on the desk and leaned his head in his hand.
Regulus wiped away some of his tears. "I just- I just don't understand what I ever did to him," he breathed. Eleanor rubbed her thumb over his shoulder for comfort.
"I always tried to be there for him, but he just never wanted me to," he said sounding helpless. Eleanor nodded to show she understood his frustrations. But he wasn't done yet.
"And then, when he left he didn't even tell me. One morning h-he was just gone," his voice cracked mid-sentence. "The first time I saw him again was here, at Hogwarts," he added in a whisper. Wow. That's just cruel.
Regulus inhaled through his nose and looked at her again. "How did you do that," he said with a slight chuckle. Eleanor laughed softly and looked down.
"You needed it," she said and squeezed his shoulder. Regulus nodded and started to pack his stuff. Eleanor did the same thing. They both didn't feel like studying anymore, and it was close to dinner time anyway.
Regulus and Eleanor got up, hung their bags around their shoulder, and left the Library. They didn't speak while they were walking, but Eleanor did not mind. She didn't know what to say either way. When they reached the doors to the Great Hall Eleanor automatically turned right to enter, but Regulus grabbed her wrist.
"Thank you," he said, looking straight at her. Eleanor felt like his cold, grey eyes could see right into her soul; they always did.
She smiled and said, "Any time." Regulus nodded, let go of her, and walked on. He was probably going to their common room first, he always did before dinner.
Eleanor proceeded to walk into the Great Hall and was surprised to find Peter there, sitting all by himself. She furrowed her eyebrows and took a seat across from him.
"Hey Pete," she smiled at him. He smiled back at her. "Why are you on your own?" she asked while pouring some tomato soup into her bowl.
"I went to see Remus," he said nervously, "James and Sirius had to er- do something else." He quickly took a sip from his goblet. Eleanor frowned slightly but decided to let the matter go.
They continued to eat in silence until James and Sirius joined them after about ten minutes. James sat down next to her and Sirius next to Peter.
"Fancy seeing you here Ella," James smiled at her. Eleanor forced a quick smile and put some food onto her plate. Sirius didn't say anything but just helped himself to some food as well. James raised his eyebrows and breathed a quick 'OK'. They all resumed eating.
"So you guys ready for tonight?" James asked with his mouth full. Eleanor almost dropped her fork as those words sank in. She had completely forgotten about that. Peter and Sirius were nodding eagerly, but Eleanor closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.
Peter frowned. "Something wrong Ella?" he asked sounding a bit concerned.
She shook her head. "No, it had just slipped my mind. Long day," she said with a sigh and then continued eating.
The others joined them not long after. They all sat together and talked about things like classes, school work, and teachers. Nothing interesting, and Eleanor wasn't really a part of any of those conversations. All she could think about was what was going to happen that night, the first time they would accompany Remus during a full moon.