august 7th, 2020
7:12 pm
JOSHUA WAS TIRED of his parents and siblings making up errands in order to force him out of the house.
All he wanted to do was sleep and pack his room up.
Was that really so bad?
Joshua walked into the closest In & Out located to his house then glanced down at the note in his hand that held his family's orders.
The line was pleasantly short despite it being a Friday night.
The quicker I can get back to my room, the happier I'll be.
After he put the order in and paid, the cashier passed him a number and Joshua moved to sit in a booth.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a couple of familiar faces.
When he turned his head completely to the left, he could see Dior, Shareef and Ayoluwa's friend Nicholas talking quietly, their expressions grin and their heads low.
Joshua slowly rose from his empty booth to stroll to their table.
Once there, he tapped Dior's shoulder causing all three boys to look at him.
"What's good?" Joshua said as he sat on the other side of Shareef.
Dior, Shareef and Nicholas looked at Joshua then back at each other, clearly trying to decide if they should tell him or not.
"Ayo's giving up music." Shareef said finally.
"What?" Joshua's eyes bugged out of his head, "She can't do that!"
"Why do you care?" Nicholas asked as he raised a brow.
Joshua was quiet.
He couldn't say why he cared and now he couldn't act like he didn't have an outburst.
"I'm just curious because I know y'all fuck with it." Joshua glanced between Shareef and Dior.
"Okay..." Dior trailed off.
"Why is she giving up music?" Joshua tried to ask in a casual tone but by the expression on the trio's faces, he could tell that he wasn't doing very well.
"She thinks that giving up music will create more time to take care of Lauryn. That's-." Dior started.
"Her niece." Joshua interrupted, "I know."
Shareef gave him a look, "She told you about Lauryn?"
It was about then that Joshua realized that he should stop speaking.
The three were giving him such odd expressions that was making Joshua slightly nervous.
"You were saying," Joshua nodded at Dior.
"That's it." Dior dipped a fry into ketchup then popped it into his mouth.
Joshua could tell that this was all he would be getting out of them on the topic of Ayoluwa's music.
And it frustrated Joshua to no end but he couldn't lose his temper.
"Fifty six!" The cashier called across the slightly noisy restaurant.
Joshua glanced at the number to see if it was the one called, then stood up when he realized it in fact was, "Imma catch y'all later."
The cashier handed him a white and red paper bag that was greasy at the bottom.
Joshua gently put the food in the passenger seat then backed out of the parking space he had claimed.
Throughout the drive home, Joshua couldn't keep his mind off of Ayoluwa's decision.
Was she insane?
She must be.
Her music is a gift.
Joshua reached home, got out of the car and casted his gaze next door.
He could see the lights seep from from underneath the closed blinds at Ayoluwa's house.
Joshua decided that her decision was so ridiculous; he had to talk to her.
He marched across the lawn that separated the two properties and rang the doorbell before he could lose his nerve.
Ayoluwa opened the door, her locs tied into a high bun and a tan wide tooth comb in her hand.
Behind her, Joshua could spot a little girl sitting on the floor near the couch who looked about four or five, with deep brown skin and a head full of hair that was half combed out.
"What?" Ayoluwa asked in a tired tone, "I'm busy."
"Are you giving up music?" Joshua demanded.
Her eyes narrowed and she turned back to where Lauryn was still sitting on the floor, "Give auntie a minute, okay? Go take a snack break."
Ayoluwa stepped out onto the porch, forcing Joshua to step back a little, "How do you know that?"
"Is it true?" Joshua pressed.
"Yes. It's true." Ayoluwa said after a measured moment.
"You can't do that."
"What I do or don't do is none of your business. It wasn't before and it's certainly not now." Ayoluwa responded.
"Not when it comes to your music. You can't take that away from people, it's not right." Joshua argued.
Ayoluwa pursed her lips and then she opened the door to point at Lauryn, who was now peeling a miniature orange.
"You see her?" She asked in a low tone.
Joshua nodded and Ayoluwa continued, "She needs a mother. She needs a mother more than I need music."
"But music is everything you are." Joshua shook his head, "It shouldn't be this easy to give it up."
A lightning bug flew very close to Ayoluwa's shoulder, making the two follow the insect's movement.
Joshua glanced at Ayoluwa when she sighed and he knew she was thinking about when he had caught that lightning bug for her, back when he couldn't recognize that he was starting to like her.
"It wasn't. But making hard decisions is part of facing your future. It's part of growing up and I know that's a foreign concept to you so ," Ayoluwa stepped back into the house, "Now for the love of Jah, stop ringing my doorbell."
Then she slammed the door in his face, which Joshua knew he deserved.
He strolled into his house, his ego wounded.
Joshua released the bag onto the counter in the kitchen, "I'll be in my room."
As soon as Joshua closed the door, he let out a great tremulous sigh before going to sit on the floor, not quite ready to change into pajamas.
He pulled out his phone and went immediately to his camera roll.
Joshua tapped his thumb against the video of Ayoluwa singing Moon River, her siren like voice filling the room.
Joshua watched with a smile as Ayoluwa looked up at him in the video and smiled.
Joshua shook his head once more at the thought of Ayoluwa giving up her talent.
He wouldn't let her.
Joshua tapped the Instagram app and went to his direct messages until he found the username that he wanted.
The more Joshua typed, the more he was sure that this was the absolutely right decision.
NOTE FROM KY
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