Helloooo:) This is like, my first Jacksgap fanfiction lol. I don't really like posting fanfics with real people in it because I find it awkward but then... whatever:) I really hope you enjoy it.
chapter one.
New in town with a made up name,
In the angel city chasing fortune and fame.
The camera flashes,
Makes it look like a dream.
-The Lucky One (Taylor Swift)
"Um... I'm obsessed with One Direction. I mean, you just can't not be obsessed with One Direction, I'm in love with those guys. Right, before any of you start critisising me for my lack of music taste, I'm going to shut my mouth, and start my song."
I'm broken, do you hear me?
I'm blinded, 'cause you are everything I see
I'm dancing, alone..
And that was how my youtube journey began. I was going to be perfectly honest, and say that I was probably too brave at first. I didn't excel at singing, or anything like that. I had an average to nice singing voice, the range smaller than I would have liked, but I put it on youtube.
All because of my love and obsession with One Direction.
Celebrating my one year anniversary with my account (and 6 month anniversary since my youtube partnership), I was invited to the Vidcon event youtube holds every single year.
14 year old me always thought she could do better than I am now doing, but 15 year old me has become a realist. I never knew I could go this far, let alone meet my other heroes on youtube.
Right now I was sitting on the plane that's going to LA, and thinking over the words I could say to my favourite youtubers. Even though I didn't like to be one or show it, I was a huge fangirl.
Ryan Higa (aka nigahiga) is the comedian I had watched for over 3 or 4 years, and he would always be the longest standing favourite no matter whom my current obsession was. Additionally, he was also Asian like I was.
Macbarbie07 is my favourite makeup guru, and I remember looking up to her for so long. My style was based on hers, and I learned to do makeup properly from her. She always seemed so fun and quirky, and I always thought we would be best friends if we met.
Smosh is one of my favourite comedians as well, but they lost their place a few weeks ago to Troye Sivan. He is the most adorable one among all my favourite youtubers, and is only 1 year my senior.
Now, my favourite youtuber(s) were introduced to me by Troye. I watched their videos after Troye talked about them (him, actually). Jacksgap. Now I am absolutely in love with Jack and Finn Harries. I'm not sure which I love more because that's like asking me to choose between chocolate and coffee- I just couldn't.
I'm sure they wouldn't even know me if I went up to them. And I knew for the majority of the time I would just stand on the sidelines and end up not talking to anyone at all.
They didn't really have to know that I was so socially retarded (or slightly wrong in the head) that I couldn't look some stranger in the face and say anything to them.
Attention please, we have reached LA, our destination. I hope you had a nice flight and enjoy the rest of the time in Los Angelos.
After retrieving my suitcases, I called a cab to the hotel I was staying at. I was really nervous by now. It's 2 more hours to vidcon, and I'm so nervous I'll be a shaking, pathetic mess.
I spent nearly the whole 1 hour picking out my outfit. Ultimately, I go with the white lace dress and cropped denim jacket (after all, I don't want anyone to see what was underneath) along with my cowboy boots (my statement clothing item). Frantically, I started my makeup. I'm one of those girls who never go anywhere without a little makeup, because honestly, I'm not that pretty.
On went my bronzer, highlighter, slight blush, light eye makeup and mascara. Popping on some tinted red lip balm, I gathered my messenger bag and hailed a cab. I didn't know who I was sharing a booth with, but I'd heard it was one of the Asian girls.
When I arrived, I found out that my booth sharer was Kina Grannis (eeep). She was absolutely gorgeous. And me? Oh well, at least she was genuinely nice and generous.
I put my items (markers, tags etc, things I needed for signing and all that) on the table and smiled at Kina, who returned the cheerfulness.
The rest of the vidcon, I guess, went quite smoothly. I wasn't that popular but hey, what did I expect? I was just one year old, and didn't have an overwhelmingly large amount of fans but I decided to go for it because... YOLO, I guess.
When the vidcon finally finished for the day, I was up and ready to leave. I wasn't in the right mind. I didn't even think about the fact that I wanted to talk to Jack and Finn, or Ryan Higa, or Troye or Smosh... I just wanted to leave; everything was too nerve-wracking for a day. I'd forgotten what socialising felt like- tiring.
I said goodbye to Kina, and then started to leave. And as I left, I saw Jack and Finn right in the corner of my eye, cheerfully talking to Caspar Lee. At that moment, my mind blanked and all I could think was: I'll talk to them tomorrow.
So hurriedly, I left the event. Of course, with my head down, as always.
I started up my camera in my room, and started talking.
"Hi guys! So I went to Vidcon today and it was completely craaaazy. Thanks to all of you who came to see me, and I really love you guys. So I think I'm going to do a song. That's like... Unedited I guess? Yeah, I'll try to do a one-take, I hope I don't fuck it up."
Say my name like it's the last time,
Live today like it's the last night.
We'll want to cry but we'll know it's all right.
Cos I'm with you, and you're with me.
Butterflies, butterflies
We were meant to fly, you and I, you and I
Colours in the sky,
We can rule the world someday, somehow,
But we'll never be as bright as we are now.
Standing in a light that won't fade,
Tomorrow's coming but this won't change.
Cos some days stay gold forever.
The memory of being here with you,
Is one I'm gonna take my life through
Cos some days stay gold forever.
Promise me you'll stay the way you are,
Keep the fire alive and stay young at heart.
When the storm feels like it will blow you away,
Remember, you got me and I've got you
Cos we are butterflies, butterflies
We were meant to fly you and I, you and I
Colours in the sky,
When the innocence is dead and gone,
These will be the times we look back on.
Standing in a light that won't fade,
Tomorrow's coming but this won't change.
Cos some days stay gold forever.
The memory of being here with you,
Is one I'm gonna take my life through
Cos some days stay gold forever.
I won't, I wont let the memories go
Cos your colours they burn so bright
Who knows, who knows what tomorrow will hold?
But I know that we'll be all right
"The Wanted, okay. I'lll stop the fangirling, I swear, someday. So, I guess I'll see you at vidcon tomorrow. Bye!"
Sitting on my hotel bed, I start to think over how lonely I feel this moment. And I completely hate it. I know that I am being a hypocrite, because technically I'm the one pushing people away from me.
If maybe I'd socialised, talked to someone at Vidcon, I would be having dinner with my heroes instead of sitting alone, reading classic stories. What a loner.
That night I fell asleep without doing anything more, which I guess was good in a weird way. At least I didn't feel much pain before falling asleep. That was good, I guess.
End notes:
I know it's kind of boring here but then... nothing's happened yet:) It's just sort of the introduction... so, yeah:) I don't know why wattpad won't let me change the rating... maybe because there's swearing lol. But yeah, anyways. I hope you enjoyed it, I promise the next ones will be better. There'll definitely be Jack and Finn.
Review and fan or add to library... whatever floats your boat:)