It's technically Tuesday in some part of our world already, so here it is, an early update or you can say an update on time. ;p was too eager to publish it! Long chapter, hope you enjoy!
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Anika awkwardly broke the hug and stepped away. The moment of overwhelming emotion had passed and all that remained was awkwardness. She was surprised to learn that she actually loved being in his arms, and having his arms around her. She had started liking the proximity and even craving it.
According to what Chanda had told her, it was normal. But Anika was still unsure. In her life, things were never normal.
"I will --" she hesitated, trying to think of an excuse to escape the situation. She felt his palms press against her waist, she looked up to find a resolve in his eyes to keep her from running away.
"Are you awkward after what happened this morning between us?" Shivaay asked cutting to the chase.
Anika stared at him wide-eyed. How did he always manage to read her mind? "No," she said, nonchalantly.
Shivaay's face now lit up with amusement. "So, you don't mind if we do it again?" He teased.
Anika's eyes widened up looking akin to saucers, as she shot up her gaze at him. "What!"
Shivaay chuckled softly, stepping closer. She was so cute when flustered. He placed his forehead against hers. "Relax. It's normal for a husband and wife to kiss. Okay?" He whispered softly.
Anika was taking deep breaths. She had heard somewhere that they helped deal with panic. She didn't know whether the long deep breaths helped or Shivaay's soft reassuring voice, she felt better. She gently placed her hands on his arms, just above his elbow. "Okay!" She whispered.
Shivaay was tempted to end that conversation with a kiss but he didn't want to set her into panic mode again. He slowly pulled away, placed a kiss on her forehead, before stepping away.
"So, how did your elocution go?"
Anika had been expecting something else. She quickly grasped his words and answered, "okay." She wasn't telling him that she screwed up because she couldn't wipe away the image of them kissing.
"Cool," he answered looking at her and then around, wondering what was he up to until Anika became a distraction.
"I will go help Mom in the kitchen!" Anika spoke up, as her brain started functioning again.
"Yeah," Shivaay nodded.
With a blooming smile she walked out of the room. Maybe she and Shivaay could actually have a normal relationship.
Anika was walking towards the kitchen when she remembered Pari. She marched back to the room. "Billu ji!" She announced loudly, entering the room only to lay her eyes on a shirtless Shivaay. Can someone please fix her luck?
Her lips parted and cheeks colored up as he sharply turned to look at her.
"I-I-" once again, the train of word wa stuck somewhere between her head and throat. She tried looking to the side.
"What Anika? And can you please, not call me Billu Ji. It's annoying."
Anika looked at him defensively, "it comes out like automatic, I can't help it!" She replied and once again her eyes went down his neck to his hairy chest.
Shivaay followed her gaze and finally understood why she was blushing for apparently no reason. Of course there was a reason.
"You wanted to tell me something?" He prompted her, pushing away the temptation to tease her a little.
"Yeah, yeah. That's what I came for. We had to talk to Pari."
"Yes, genius. Can I freshen up first?"
Anika nodded robotically, looking down at the floor this time.
"Great, see you in fifteen!" Saying that he walked into the washroom. If Anika was going to react like that on seeing him shirtless, he wondered which calamity would strike when the roles were reversed.
* * *
Anika waited outside the room. She had called Saahil to catch up with him while Shivaay freshened up. Plus it would be a good distraction. Talking to Saahil always left her in a good mood.
Shivaay stepped out of the room to find Anika leaning on the railing while talking to her brother. His ears perked up at her words.
"Saahil, you are happy right?"
He smiled. Anika was a wonderful person. He wondered how she was so thoughtful all the time. He smiled.
"Okay, but you better tell me if you get into any trouble okay?"
Shivaay rolled his eyes. Anika was a walking trouble.
"Oh please. I don't go around messing things and causing trouble. It's just that after Billu Ji has come into my life everything goes wrong all the time. He is the root cause of all my problems."
Shivaay's jaw dropped at that. The nerve of this woman. She walked carelessly, talked thoughtlessly and invited troubles for herself and here she was blaming everything on him. He folded his arms looking pointedly waiting for her to wrap up the call and turn.
Anika turned around to find Shivaay looking at her. His gaze sharper than a butcher's knife. "What?" She mumbled.
"Really, Anika? I am the root-cause of your trouble?"
Anika looked surprised, "you were listening?"
"Just made it in time for the climax!" He muttered.
"You shouldn't overhear other's conversations."
"Look who is talking!"
Anika was offended. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, it's not like you've never overheard conversations. Remember you overheard Tia's conversation over the phone,"
"That was by chance. And be glad I did, that's how I knew she had a husband!"
"You overhear conversations all the time, Anika, admit it already."
"I can't help if some words fall into my ears when I am walking by." Anika spoke in her defense.
"That can happen to others too. Leave that aside. How am I the cause of your problems?"
Anika rolled her eyes. "Because ever since I have met you, things always go wrong."
"Really? You're speaking for me, because ever since you've come into my life nothing happens normally in my life."
Anika folded her arms and stared back at him with narrowed eyes. "Ulta chor kotwal ko daate!"
"What?"
"Nevermind. Can you not waste my time? I have to learn how to wear a saare after this, I need to help Mim in the kitchen and Omkara wanted to talk to me. So let's go to Pari and talk to her. She seemed upset too."
Shivaay looked amused. "After you," he muttered extending his hand.
"But I thought you said we'll go together?" She asked, her eyebrows curving deeply.
Shivaay held her arm and slipped his around hers, lightly pulling at it walking towards Priyanka's room which Pari was sharing.
"Anika, that is a chivalrous way of saying ladies first." He explained as they walked down the passageway.
"Oh," Anika exclaimed. "Got it. But why are you holding my arm, I know the way."
"Because this is what couples do." He said.
Anika smiled, "You never did that with Tia." She pointed out smartly.
"There's a lot that I didn't do with Tia, that I would like to do with you." He said, wondering if she'd catch all that he was trying to say. Their eyes met.
"You didn't kiss her?" Anika asked, as the curiosity cat bit her.
"Are you jealous?" Shivaay asked amused, his fingers interlocking with hers. He absolutely loved how her fingers effortlessly gripped on to his hand. He stared into her eyes.
"No, I am not. I was never jealous of her." She replied honestly.
Shivaay was a little confused, a little impressed and a little bothered. Why was she not jealous? He felt jealous when she as much as laughed at a joke that Yashraj cracked or he used to feel jealous when Daksh would lay a small finger on her. Why wasn't she jealous? Did she not feel that strongly for him that it ripped her heart apart to see him with someone else.
"Shall we?" Anika asked pointing to the room's door.
"Yeah!" He said a little distractedly walking ahead.
Ten minutes later, Shivaay was seated beside Pari on the bed while Anika stood by the balcony door. "Pari, just give this a chance. We won't ask you to get married right away or force anything else on you. If anything just say you don't like him."
"You think it will stop there? And you think Daadi will listen to my opinion? In Pawan Bhaiya's case also Daadi didn't ask him. She liked Bhabhi so she said yes."
"And see how happy they are now."
Pari looked up at him frowning, "I am scared."
"Look, I can understand Pari. This one decision can change your life forever. But think of it. What if you find a friend who understands you? A companion who is always there for you, who believes in you even when you doubt yourself?" He looked up at Anika momentarily.
"I know, it can be nightmare. I have been through that phase where I didn't know what was right, what was wrong. That phase when I was scared that I was making a wrong choice. But in the end, whatever happened happens for the best."
"Bhabhi, what do you think?"
Anika suddenly felt very conscious of the two gazes on her. "Do what your heart tells you to do, Pari."
"But marriage, I can't even take care of myself. I will be expected to take care of a family. I also want to be free, go on a date, make a career and maybe find love."
Anika couldn't help but chuckle. "Pari, love like that happens only in movies. Life is very different. I understand your insecurities. I understand your worries. Honestly, I would be as freaked out as you are if I were in your shoes. But Pari, you have brothers who can stand up for you if a man as much as says a bad word to you, you have a family that can literally call a war on anybody who hurts you. You have a mother, who has always kept you under the shield of her arms. You think a family, that will go to any length for your happiness, they'll snatch your happiness for a marriage?"
Pari shook her head in a negative.
"I think Shivaay is right. Give it a chance and whatever you feel after that, you should share it with your family. You don't have to rebel Pari, you just need to make them see it as you see things."
"Anika is right, Pari. I promise, I will be on your side, whatever your decision is."
Pari nodded and hugged Shivaay. Anika smiled and turned around stepping into the balcony tears made it to her eyes. She didn't know why but at that moment she felt overwhelmed and vulnerable at the same time. Maybe she craved all that Pari had.
"Bhabi!" She heard Pari's voice and wiped her tears quickly and turned with a smile. Pari threw her arms around her. "Thank you for being there for me!"
A tear rolled down Anika's cheek, she quickly wiped it. She gulped before saying, "now I better get going to the kitchen or mom is going to wonder what I am up to."
Pari nodded and stepped away. Anika walked past her and glanced at Shivaay. She smiled and walked past quickly, out of the room.
"Bhaiya," she called when Shivaay was about to follow Anika's trail.
"Yeah," he asked absent-mindedly.
"Can you talk to Sameer alone once tomorrow? I trust your judgment better."
"You think I was going to let him talk to you before doing that?"
Pari grinned.
"I will see you later," saying that he walked out. Why was Anika crying? He was sure she was wiping a tear, even though she made it look like she was clearing a particle from her eyes. He jogged down the corridor to reach her.
"Anika!" He called, holding her hand.
She looked at him surprised her gaze falling to his hand. "What?" He asked puzzled.
He stepped closer, his blue eyes analyzing her dark brown ones. There was a slight redness along the skin that lined her right eye. "What happened?" He asked softly.
She looked at him hesitantly. "Nothing!" Her answer was confident. But Shivaay knew it wasn't the right answer.
"Anika, what were you crying in there? I saw it, don't say something went into your eye, I am not going to buy that."
Anika looked at him straight in the eyes. "I was." She confessed.
"Why?"
"Just got a little emotional. " she said looking away from his piercing gaze.
His finger reached below her chin, gently pushing it up in order to make her look up. "It's okay."
Anika stared at him. "It's okay." She repeated, gently holding his hand and pulling it away from her face. "I need to go to the kitchen," saying tarts he walked away. She closed her eyes. She'd never let anyone know that Pari was her sister. That secret would die with her. She didn't want to complicate things. Pari had a happy life and Anika would never break that. She wanted Pari to always believe that she had a family of her own.
* * *
"Rudra, can we talk?" Shivaay asked entering his brother's room, shutting the door.
"Hey bhaiya!" Rudra said, jumping up, stopping his push-ups. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," Shivaay answered, pushing away thoughts of Anika. "How's your work going?" Shivaay asked picking up one dumbbell and sitting on the bed. His gaze went to Rudra's muscles. He picked up the same damn weight as him, why would Anika laugh about his arm. He didn't look bulky, but he was definitely strong.
"Oh, it's well okay. Some days are awfully boring while some days are fun."
"Is it?"
"Mom's cool at home but as a manager she's way stricter than my math teacher used to be in high school."
Shivaay chuckled. "Thank God, you don't report to Bade Papa or me."
"I should, you two are popular in office as Hitler and Mussolini!"
"Really?'Shivaay looked up surprised.
"Yep, I feel we are lesser knows as Oberois and more as dictators."
"Oh, zip it. We are just, very, professional and expect discipline and loyalty."
"That's what a dictator wants right?"
"Anyways, what about the wedding. Any pre wedding jitters yet?"
Rudra chuckled. "I am not marrying Lady Baba, I am marrying sumo. I won't show the symptoms that you showed."
"Shut up, Rudra! Marriage is a big deal."
"Not when you're marrying your best friend." Rudra answered, picking up his water bottle from the table and taking a seat beside his brother.
"Rudra, marriage is like a one time thing. You can't screw up. Are you sure about it?"
"Says the one whose headed for a divorce."
Shivaay stared at Rudra, and then put an arm around his neck. "Seems like you've finally grown up huh!"
"Aaahhaaa, Bhaiya!" Rudra squealed trying hard to get rid of his elder brother's steel like grip. "Okay, sorry!" He apologised with a grin.
Shivaay smiled. Rudra's words would have hit him harder had Anika rejected him. He didn't want anyone to know that Anika and him were giving a chance to their relationship, at least not until Anika had made up her mind entirely. He didn't want to rush her into anything this time around.
"Bhaiya, why don't you try to win Bhabhi's heart again? She loves us all and I am sure she'll forgive you and love you too. I can't imagine her not being around."
Shivaay smiled as he listened to Rudra's chatter about how Anika was the coolest member of his family.
* * *
Shivaay walked up to Omkara's room. It was about dinner time. He wanted to talk to Omkara before dinner. Luckily Om was in his room working on a painting.
"Om, we need to talk!"
"Not right now, Shivaay. I have had an eventful day, and I need to get this completed."
"I understand but this is important."
Omkara let out a groan of frustration and parted with his brush. "This better be worth it."
"Rudra is clearly dodging any talk about his marriage or Saumya. I tried to talk about his marriage and he brought up mine."
Omkara chuckled, "told you. That boy definitely has something up his sleeve."
"We have to show him that we are the elder brothers." Shivaay muttered walking around the room.
"Gosh, I am looking forward to a drunk Rudra for the first time in my life." Omkara remarked.
"Second problem is Anika."
"Shivaay, I think it's called wife." Omkara humored.
"Shut up, will you! There's something she's hiding as well." Shivaay spoke aloud his thoughts.
"Really? Anika can't hide anything except--" he paused realizing he was speaking out his observations. Anika couldn't hide anything except her inner most insecurities. But he would let Shivaay figure that out when time came.
"Except what?" Shivaay asked more than interested.
Omkara turned on the stool and looked at his brother. "You should try finding out. But what do you think she's hiding?"
"I don't know." Shivaay sighed before narrating their conversation with Pari.
"Shivaay, Anika doesn't have a family. Maybe she just got emotional on that count when she was trying to explain to Pari that she had everything that meant so much, and that lacked in her own life."
Feeling dejected, Shivaay sat on the bed. "Om, do you think there will be a day when she can really forgive me for treating her so badly?"
"Yes!" Omkara said without a doubt, with so much confidence that it surprised Shivaay.
"Yes, she can Shivaay. But will she? That depends on you." A silence fell as Shivaay absorbed Omkara's words.
"Did you talk to her about ...."
"Yes." Shivaay answered softly. He wanted someone to confide in.
"And?"
"She said yes." Shivaay smiled.
Omkara's eyes twinkled, "yes for?"
"She wants to give our marriage a chance."
Omkara beamed, "that's amazing! When did this happen and why aren't you elated about this?"
"I don't know, Om. Every time I try to take a step towards Anika, something bad happens. We've had a terrible history with a lot of misunderstandings, hurting each other and we are different. It's scary. Remember the other day, you said that I was scared of what I felt for Anika. You were right, Om." Shivaay let out a deep breath. He felt vulnerable voicing out his doubts and fears.
But it was only Omkara, he could count on. They were each other's safe place.
"What if it doesn't work out?" Shivaay voiced his fear.
"What of it does work out?" Omkara countered.
"We are very different from each other, Om. I don't want to hurt her looke I have done in the past."
"Is it hard for you to accept Anika, for who she is?" Omkara shot the direct question. "Is it the fact that she doesn't know her family, her parents or doesn't put a surname behind her name?"
Shivaay looked up at his brother. "That's the while problem. When it comes to Anika, I don't care about anything. I get out of control, O go out of my way, when it comes to Anika."
"Like you lose yourself when you're around her." Omkara said, trying to fathom his brother's feelings. Shivaay nodded. "Like she changes everything about you that makes you you."
Shivaay nodded.
"Idiot, you're badly in love with her! Don't you dare say that love is a stupid illusion. It's not. It is as real as truth. You can't define love, you can only feel it. It's like vacuum."
Shivaay looked thoughtfully.
"Shivaay, please, please don't screw up this time. Love doesn't hit everyone this hard as much as it has hit you. Anika deserves to know that there is someone who can lose himself to become hers."
Shivaay smiled, "you make it sound so beautiful. Just like you make every blank paper beautiful."
"Tell her Shivaay!"
Shivaay sat silently for a few minutes and Omkara gave him all the headspace he needed to wrap hinself around the fact.
"Okay," Shivaay sat getting up.
"What okay?" Omkara asked baffled looking up at his brother.
"I need some time."
Omkara closed his eyes, Shivaay could behave like a stubborn baby at times. "Fine, just don't make it too late."
Shivaay walked out with a smile. He was in love with Anika. Period. Omkara was right, Anika deserved to know, and she will when the right time comes.
Would love to know your thoughts. I think I may wrap up soon, around 40-45 chapters.
I had initially decided to give another twist, but I think it's just going to drag their story.
"Frozen", as the title suggests, this book was going to be the journey of melting of those frozen hearts. The way I see it, they both froze their hearts in the sense that they never accepted the love they felt. The melting signifies giving in, going with the flow and melting into each other.
Through Omkara's dialogue the hint is given and the title of the book is explained, if you read between the lines.
At least, from Shivaay's side we have the acceptance. While Anika has unconsciously already accepted he love for Shivaay in many scenes before. But she has to ---"
Sorry, I started reflecting on the journey so far with respect to this chapter. 🙈 Anyways looking forward to read all your takes on them
-Anami!♡