,,Choose your battles wisely, most of them are not worth fighting." - A
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The night of the ball
Does a person know when they get a second chance at life? Or is it just a fifty/fifty chance where you try or give up?
Maybe in the past, my answer would've sounded something along the lines of No, you don't know , you just have to guess.
But I knew I didn't have to guess, the answer was yes as soon as my eyes scanned the green faded tiles or the new bottle of occamy egg yolk shampoo standing on my small shelf I was gifted by Pansy for christmas with a small I use this shampoo everyday and it made my hair so much healthier! fancy letter.
I couldn't help myself, admiring how my old bathroom used to look like. A complete opposite from the mess I lived in for Merlin knows how long.
Then it hit me, I was back– I got my second chance.
Slowly, my hand gripped the door handle pulling down until the lock clicked and the door opened.
And there he was, sitting in the same position I remembered so vividly. A joint in between his lips and the thin covers around his naked torso, his gaze locked on the brown old book.
The same way I remember it
,,Took you long enough." He smirked, his gaze directing towards me moments later. He was here, my Mattheo.
The boy I hated, loved , wanted and needed. He had the same tangled hair and the same lopsided smile but his eyes were different. He looked almost confused.
Because he was confused. And it took me too long to realize why. I was crying, warm tears spilling down my cheeks. Long enough for him to sit up, covers wrapped around him like a towel. His mouth was moving– that I could still figure out.
But what was he saying? Was he even talking or was he just silently watching?
He closed up the space between us, careful hands getting a hold of my wet cheeks, thumbs stroking the tears away. He was here, mere inches away. My Mattheo.
The warmth of his hands on my skin brought a new fresh wave of tears, silently falling down. He was still talking, lips still moving. Was he calling me? My Mattheo.
The door was banging, heads snapping towards the wooden door. I remember, Draco was behind the door.
Waiting to tell me I'm being used. Doing what he believed was right.
There was no time left, I needed to stop. Why couldn't I stop? Mattheo was distancing himself, his hands slowly leaving my face. The remaining heat gone.
No he couldn't leave, I needed him. Please don't leave me. My hand snapped forward, grabbing a hold of him again.
,,Don't leave me."
Brown brows furrowed ,,Why would I leave you?"
It's like finally hearing his voice , my senses came back together. The tears stopped , the view focused back and my mind cleared up.
,,Don't open the door." barely a whispered, but he heard me nonetheless. The banging eventually stopped and there was only silence.
I tried to speak, tell him what's wrong but no words came out, no idea how I'd start. So I did what I thought would make up for my silent words.
The shiny little metal turned in my hand. He stepped forward, his face a unreadable expression.
,,Why are you holding a time turner?" A question I knew was going to come up one way or another. Everything was not according to plan. If there would've been one.
I opened my mouth yet no words came out, but instead more tears were building at the corner of my eyes. Just tell him.
So I did, I told him how I've been through everything already. How we fought and he left, how we were in a war, on other sides. My body racked with sobs as I told him how I watched him die. The spark in his eyes leave for what I believed was forever.
He held me tight as my knees gave out and nothing but convulsive sobbing came out. He listened to me when I barely could whisper and not once told me to repeat myself when the words became muffled. Because he understood what happened.
He knew I lost him and I came back to save us. Save him. My Mattheo.
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No one ever teaches you how to save the world. No one from the wizarding world , nor the muggle world.
So how can you be prepared to do something you've never done?
The night I came back, Mattheo held me tightly while I told him every single feeling I had bottled up on the way. He let his fingers comb my hair and massage my scalp while my legs straddled his lap and his arm held me protectively close.
What felt like hours on end were barely more than two. Two consecutive hours of me sobbing into his chest. His smell engulfing me. I missed you
But when he decided to speak, everything came back to reality.
,,If what I remember is correct then we have barely three hours to come up with a plan before you get abducted by a group of death eaters."
The corner of my mouth turned upwards. Not once would I doubt his intentions. He'll save us, no harm will come to us.
,,How do you want to do this?" I whispered, stroking his hair out of his face. He closed his eyes , contemplating his options.
,,If there was a way to trick my father, let him fall into his own trap.."
,,Maybe we could use a little help." I suggested but he shook his head ,,We can't trust anyone, I don't trust anyone."
,,Mattheo we need to tell somebody, we need to be prepared it's a bloody war we are talking about! I've lost you once I'm not doing it again."
,,You won't lose me." He cut in, cupping the side of my face ,,You found a way to come back and now we are gonna make sure it doesn't go to shit."
,,We can't risk anything, we don't have to tell any professors, they are pretty useless anyway . If we can tell a couple of people we can be more prepared for what will come."
,,I'm not sure Y/N." He sighted, leaning his forehead against my chest. ,,We need to Mattheo, you need to stay alive, we both do." He was silent but then, a small movement of his head let me know he accepted his fate.
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The plan went as followed. By the time the ball started Mattheo and I gathered the small group of people we could trust.
Scratch that, I could trust.
The four walls room was soon filled with a group of people , eagerly dressed for the ball.
,,Can someone explain why they are here?" Pansy squealed as soon as she saw the trio together on the left side of the room. Adrian Pucey and Blaise Zabini agreeing. Snakes aren't fond of lions.
Mattheo was in the bathroom waiting for the queue to come in. After several shouts and threats the group went quiet, waiting for me to speak.
I touched the ring between my middle finger and thumb– not long before the bathroom door opened. As soon as the handsome man I fell in love with walked in, every wand was pointed at him.
My hand shot up, every wand flying in different directions hitting the four walls bedroom and clattering down to the floor, rolling away.
,,What the hell?" Adrian and Ron both shouted, narrowing their eyes at each other.
,,He's no harm. We don't want to fight we-" I corrected myself as soon as Mattheo's icy glare landed on me ,,I need your help."
,,And you need him and the three of them?" Blaise asked genuinely curious. I nodded, another silence followed.
Mattheo's hand was on my shoulder, distracting me from my thoughts. I looked up seeing as everyone was probably waiting for me to explain myself.
,,I-" but no explanation came out, frustration took over. Why is it so hard for me to tell everyone? I've told Mattheo about it. My lip was caught between my teeth, gnawing anxiously.
,,You don't have to, I told you we don't need help." Mattheo spoke, glaring at each and one of them.
,,No Mattheo we agreed on this. I just don't know how to explain everything."
,,You don't have to explain."
Everyone turned their head to the brown haired boy who pushed his glasses up his nose and scratched the back of his neck nervously ,,You can always show us."
When no one said anything he reclaimed his thoughts and explained himself ,,You can show us your memories if there's anything you can't form into words."
I stared at him, thinking this through. Maybe he's right. But even then, we has no pensieve.
,,We don't have a pensieve." Hermione mentioned. At this, the three slytherins gave each other a look so cunning you could've sorted them right then and there with no need of an old talkative hat.
,,You don't have one but we have." Pansy spoke.
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,,I might have to warn you." I remarked, staring down at the blue water surface.
Every pair of eyes shot up meeting mine. Was this really a good idea? I stood there watching as the memories were poured into the pensieve, regretting it more and more by the second.
,,What you'll see.. it's awful."
A reassuring hand layed down on my shoulder ,,What do you mean?" Hermione asked, tilting her head to face me better.
,,I've been stuck in there for fourteen months."
Fourteen months of misery and atrocious and awful loneliness. And that's how everyone stared at me. Like they've been through it themselves– pity themselves.
No one dared speak and when I looked closely I could see Hermione blink repeatedly to erase the tears. Something Pansy couldn't do and as soon as she could , she wrapped her petite arms around me and told me how awful she truly feels.
I knew that after this, there was no going back. I technically could go back in time but there's only so much I can fix over and over again.
,,We'll help you." Harry spoke shockingly. He held his head high. I searched his eyes for any signs of dishonesty but all I could see was a boy that wanted to save the world as much as I did and fix the mistakes I've made.
,,You know most of this is going to be your own battle. We can only do so much." Blaise interfered. The group and I all nodded. Most of the mistake that lead to the end of the world were caused by me and my need of acknowledgement.
,,So what's the plan?"
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March 3rd 1998
The walls shook by the powerful spell that hit the school. But no one seemed to acknowledge that. From every side spells were thrown like it's the purge. No one looked around to see if they missed or not, they all kept running.
Trying to survive.
From up the hill I could spot the two boys on the brooms, ready for my signal. Adrian and Blaise decided that they were good enough on a broom to try and take down our main targets mid air.
The head death eaters.
I closed my eyes and tried my best to ignore the cackling that came from behind me. Bellatrix was watching her so called show with the Dark Lord by her side. They were prepared to get Harry Potter in the Forbidden Woods any second now.
And before I knew it , I watched as Harry Potter was claimed dead and was carried down to the school by the big old man– Hagrid.
He knew he had to die, it was his prophecy. Harry Potter was the last remaining horocrux.
Even though I had to see it once, seeing it again didn't make it any easier. The boy that agreed to help me fix everything still died.
I watched as everyone emerged from the school, crying and screaming as they saw the dead body of their young hero.
Every second now the platinum blonde boy was going to appear. Draco Malfoy who was filled in on our hopefully successful plan.
And then he appeared, through the doors. He stared at me, hoping for success.
,,Draco." A female whisper. I turned my head slightly, staring at the blonde pair who were calling desperately for his son. But he knew he had to walk across to them either way.
Not because he needed to, but because he wanted to. And as soon as he called the shots, everything would go down again.
Draco Malfoy was a very strange boy. You would believe you know him but truly, no one knows him. No one but himself. So when he suggested to kill his own aunt, obviously everyone went silent.
You don't need to mate..
Yes I do. She's the reason I have this mark imprinted on me.
Malfoy c'mon she's your aunt.
And that's why I'll be the one to kill her.
He kept walking, his mother stepping forward to get to him. My lungs were burning with anticipation– and air. I was holding my breath waiting too.
It was like a gun just like wands but for muggles. As soon as he came in the same radius as his aunt, he side stepped her pointing his wand at her throat and whispering the killing curse.
Her body fell like a stone, the signal we were waiting for.
Blaise and Adrian shot forward through the fog, zooming towards the first row of death eaters that gathered on the opposite side of the school. None of them realized what was about to happen – too busy gasping over a fellow "friend's" death.
Both me and Draco jumped apart, a powerful bombarda coming our way. Screaming could be heard– the battle began again.
We split, running towards our partners. Mattheo appeared from under the Invisibility Cloak Harry gave him. Draco and Pansy were united, teaming up and ending every death eater they could aim on.
,,Watch out!" He screamed, pointing his wand towards me. I ducked, slightly tripping over my own foot and barely catching myself before a new spell shot past me. I stood up, standing next to my lover.
,,Clumsy are we?" He yelled over the loud explosion of spells and screams from students. I rolled my eyes, basically seeing the smirk on his face.
We fought until every last one that crossed our path was either splattered across the place or a limb body on the dirty blood covered ground .
,,Y/N Nott." A hiss from inside my head surprised me ,,You've betrayed me."
,,Well get used to it." I whispered to myself.
,,And you chose sides with my own traitor son." He added , but so did I ,,Yes I love him."
I relied on Mattheo that he would have my back while I looked around. Hermione and Ron– both looking awfully scqred‐ were pushed away by a strong familiar body. The silhouette had a shiny object in their hand. The gryffindor sword.
From its left , the bloody snake Nagini came slithering by. A small cackle escaped my lips at the sight of it being slashed in half followed by big round eyes of disbelief.
Neville was the one to kill the snake. Voldemort was still alive but Nagini was dead.
,,Y/N focus!" Blaise shouted, flying past me while turning on his broom to dodge a spell– my braid hitting my blood and dirt covered face. He's right, I need to focus.
I turned back around , locking eyes with Mattheo. He looked at me knowingly and nodded. I had to find Voldemort and put an end to this.
Maybe my prophecy was right in a way. I have killed the boy who shall save us but I came back and now I'll be the one to avenge him.
I ran back into the castle, throwing hexes left and right. Bodies were sprawled across the floor anywhere you looked.
I stopped dead in my tracks when a very familiar peck of red hair caught my eye. My throat went dry at the recognition.
Fred Weasley layed on the cold Hogwarts grounds. If it weren't for the adrenaline floating through my veins, I would've thought I went crazy when realizing he was in fact smiling.
The search went on. The more I ran deeper into the castle , the quiter it got. How come a castle can be so quiet while there's a war happening right outside it?
No one was anywhere to be found so I went for the outside hills. Everything was destroyed and broken. Murmurs came from my left and as soon as I rounded the place, Voldemort came into view.
He was standing with his back towards me, distracted with talking. Maybe I could kill him right away. An avada to the back.
His body slowly moved out the way and the more I closed up on him , the better I could hear him.
,,You are going to die once and for all boy!" He spoke , voice high. He finally got out of the way for the person he was referring to , to be recognized. My wand clattered to the ground and my body froze.
Harry Potter ?
He was alive. Alive and well. How did he survive the killing curse once more? Despite his awful appearance he looked alive and breathing.
The sound of my wand clattering to the floor caught Voldemorts attention. He turned around , narrowing his eyes as soon as he saw me.
,,Look who decided to come seal their fate."
,,The only person sealing their fate is you Voldemort." My comment made him snarl. Good, he was fucking dumb to think otherwise.
,,I never thought I'd get the chance to kill both of my enemies since I assumed you'd be dead by a death eaters hand. Who knows.. " He continued , pacing around and staring at both me and Harry ,,Maybe it would've been your own lover."
,,I'm alive and well thank you, but I can't say the same for your side . If I'm not wrong then almost every single one of your dirty followers is either dead or captured by the order and students."
He scoffed, his left eye twitching ,, I assume I'll deal with you later you foolish little girl."
I would love to believe that if it weren't for my own mistake, maybe I wouldn't have looked over to Harry. I would've kept staring at Voldemort and catch his dominant hand with his wand moving towards me. A purple spell colliding with my chest.
All I could witness before it got dark was the yell Harry let out and green and red meeting in the middle.
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Hey guys! I'm here to deliver the last remaining chapters of the story, also for anyone who might think negatively about Y/N , keep in mind the girl lived months alone knowing she was the reason the love of her life died. Isolated and utterly alone.- I can't believe we are almost done.. <3