┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓
𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘
chapter fourteen:
but at least for now, I gotta go
my own way !
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ATHENA, ALONG WITH everyone else, gathered in the auditorium of North High. She stood with her friends — minus Ricky, who was standing a little ways up the aisle — as they stretched and warmed up their voices. Athena shook out her hands in front of her and tried to keep herself calm.
However, once she looked up the aisle, that whole thing of trying to calm her nerves was thrown out the window. She saw Lily trying to talk to Ricky as he walked down the aisle. Athena's eyebrows knit in concern and she slowly walked to the end of the aisle to try and hear what they were saying (okay, she knows it's rude to eavesdrop, but it's Lily — in the wise words of Taylor McKessie, that girl's got more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match.) Violetta trailed after her, the two of them doing some arm stretches to make it seem like they weren't listening.
". . . I think it's really cool how you're handling your girlfriend speaking to me like that," Lily was saying.
"What are you talking about?" Ricky asked. "You kind of deserved it. I mean, you literally stole the necklace I gave to her. You know, Athena's right. You are jealous of her."
"Jealous?" Lily repeated, an eyebrow raised. "No. But I heard of that little fight you two had the other day."
"How did you know about that?"
"Oh, I have an inside source. Don't worry about it, it doesn't matter. But didn't she tell you that she wouldn't be waiting around for you to come back? Sounds like a girl who doesn't care about you at all."
Ricky was silent. Athena froze, her mind spinning and her heart dropping as she frowned.
"Your girlfriend seems like she wants some space from you," Lily continued. "Anyway, let me know if you're looking for one who doesn't."
Lily casually walked away. Athena kept her gaze on the floor, not even bothering to pick her head up and look at her. She didn't want to. She didn't even want to look at Ricky after that, because all of the sudden, two horrible memories of things Ricky had done to her entered her head after seeing him and Lily together.
Number one, the night at the El Rey when they were forced to look for other places to put on High School Musical after a fire burned down the auditorium. To be honest, Athena had thought about that night more than she should have — not him confessing his love to her, but what actually happened at the theater.
She had caught him almost kissing Nini — him and Athena were dating at that point, and Ricky had almost just cheated on her with his ex. Athena left the El Rey with nothing but tears, a slamming door, and a broken heart. She had written a couple lines of an untitled song about her feelings, but then Ricky showed up on her front porch and basically spilled his gut feelings to her. Athena's feelings were all over the place and she told him she loved him too, and then they were fine.
But they weren't. That tension was still there. Athena played it off like it was fine and Ricky seemed to forget about it after a while, but she didn't. The scene of him and Nini on that piano bench played through her mind like a broken record, even now. She had finally talked to Violetta about it a little while ago.
I think you forgave him too fast, Violetta had told her. You need more time to process what happened.
Athena took her best friend's words to heart. Perhaps she did. But Ricky was going through a lot, and she needed to be there for him. That made her forget that she needed to be there for herself, too.
And number two, their fight in the hallway that Lily had brought up. Athena got it, Ricky needed space, but she was so tired of him just pushing her away after dumping all of her troubles onto her. That seems pretty selfish of Athena, but it was true. He just left her in that hallway, yet again with a broken heart, and didn't talk to her until later that day when he showed up on her front porch again. Like she always did, Athena forgave him and told him they needed to work on communication.
Both times Ricky had hurt her, both times Ricky had fought for them, and both times Athena had forgiven him. But right here, right now, Ricky didn't even respond to Lily when she said that Athena didn't care about him. That wasn't something that could be brushed off so easily.
Athena didn't want to admit it. She didn't want it to be true, but maybe, her and Ricky needed some time apart. Athena didn't want to continue the cycle of hurting, fighting, and forgiving. It wasn't healthy for either of them. Maybe they just needed to heal themselves before coming back together.
Ricky suddenly appeared by her side again. "Hey, you seem a little out of it. What's going on?"
"Hmm?" Athena hummed in response, looking up at him hesitantly. "Oh, uh, just a little nervous, I guess. I don't wanna mess it up."
"You won't. You're gonna kill it, Attie. We all are."
"Okay, everyone warm-up is over, gather around," Lily announced. Athena crossed her arms and stared up at the stage where she was. "I will now press shuffle to choose the song."
"After which, I will prepare a dance remix of the song, since I, on occasion, DJ," Antoine added.
"Ah, of course he's a DJ," Big Red commented bitterly.
"Non, monsieur, I DJ, but I would not say I am a DJ."
"Thanks for the clarity."
"Everyone ready?" Lily questioned. "And, it's . . ." she dramatically lifted her arm and pressed on her phone screen, her face visibly falling. "The Mob Song."
"Yes!" EJ exclaimed. Meanwhile everyone else began to complain, and EJ stared around at them. "I knew you all didn't like The Mob Song."
Violetta patted his shoulder. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but it's just not a personal favorite."
"It's not really a dancing song," Big Red insisted.
"It's boring!" Ashlyn agreed.
"It's fine, guys," Gina cut in. "We're East High. We can make anything work."
"Yeah, we can," EJ responded.
"Open the curtain!" Lily called.
The big red curtains then opened to reveal a beautiful set consisting of a platform and some stairs. Athena's eyes widened while everyone else began to comment about it in shock. North High's Beast — for some reason — was standing on the steps wearing his Beast mask and his costume. Athena raised an eyebrow. Uh, didn't Lily say no costumes?
"Is it just me, or is all of this, like, off-the-rails insane?" Nini inquired.
Athena shrugged. "Nini, if you're not comfortable, you don't have to do it. We're not pressuring you into doing this."
"Yeah, don't want you to feel confined," Ricky added, obviously insinuating towards her Rose Song.
Nini shook her head before walking away. "This is a bad idea."
Athena elbowed Ricky in the ribs. "Uncalled for."
"May the best school win," Lily voiced. "Places, please."
Everyone made their way up onto the stage — East High on one side, North High on the other. Ricky took off his jacket and slung a guitar around him, North High's Beast doing the same. He stepped forward to start the song while Antoine set up everything at his DJ stand. Athena felt a surge of pride flow throughout her, but the overwhelming feeling of hurt and confusion powered over it. God, she was so confused.
"Through the mist, through the woods, through the darkness and the shadows, it's a nightmare, but it's one exciting ride," Ricky sang.
North High's Beast went next. "Say a prayer, then we're there, at the drawbridge of a castle, and there's something truly terrible inside."
Ricky leaped towards him. "It's a Beast!"
"He's got fangs."
"Razor sharp ones," Ricky continued as him and North High's Beast circled each other.
"Massive paws, killer claws for the feast," North High's Beast voiced.
"Hear him roar, see him foam."
"'Cause we're not coming home till he's dead. Good and dead."
"Kill the Beast!" everyone chorused.
Kourtney stepped forwards to dance first. Athena cheered her on and cupped her hands around her mouth to cheer. One of North High's people then stepped forwards to challenge her in dancing.
Both schools crossed to the other sides of the stage. East High then set themselves up on the stairs. Athena stood in the back row with Ricky. He offered her a smile of encouragement, but she looked away. Any thoughts of him right now were intrusive.
"Light your torch, mount your horse, screw your courage to the sticking place," East High harmonized as they began to perform their own choreography. "We're counting on Gaston to lead the way." They moved closer to North High, making them back up. "Through a mist, through a wood, we're within a haunted castle, something's lurking that you don't see every day."
North High then ran up to the steps and began to perform their own choreography as well. "It's a Beast, one as tall as a mountain. We won't rest till he's good and deceased." They walked up the steps to the very top of their set. "Sally forth, tally-ho, grab your sword, grab your bow. Praise the Lord and here we go."
Antoine walked down the steps. "No one's safe until he's dead, he'll come stalking us at night."
Carlos stepped forwards. "Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite."
"He'll wreak havoc on our village if we let him wander in."
"So it's time to take some action, boys." Carlos joined East High's group again and they all moved forwards, making Antoine back away. They lifted Carlos up in the air. "It's time to follow me."
"We don't like what we don't understand, in fact, it scared us," both East High and North High vocalized as they crossed each other again. "And this monster is mysterious at least. Bring your guns, bring your knives, save your children and your wives, we'll save our village and our lives. We'll kill the Beast!"
Gina and Violetta stepped forwards and began to dance (fabulously of course, it's Gina and Violetta) before two of North High's dancers tried to one-up them. Athena then noticed Lily move out of North High's crowd and walk up to the platform on the steps by herself. Discreetly, Athena snuck past everyone and went to the other side of the set. She found another staircase that led to the top of the set in the wings and took that up.
"Hearts ablaze, banners high, we go marching into battle, unafraid, although the danger's just increased," Lily sang as she began to walk up the steps, obviously ready to have her big moment.
Athena gladly interrupted it, her hair billowing behind her as she walked confidently out onto the set while all of her friends cheered for her. "Raise the flag, sing the song, here we come with fifty strong." She smirked at Lily's surprised reaction and followed her down the steps. "And fifty Frenchmen can't be wrong."
"We'll kill the Beast!" they all finished.
Athena stayed face-to-face with Lily on the lower platform. Neither of them broke their gazes at all.
"Don't mess with me," Athena told her quietly as the auditorium was stuck in a tense silence. "I will fight back."
She turned around and walked off stage into the wings. All of East High's members followed after her after collecting some of their things. They all gathered backstage, none of them saying any words to each other. Athena reached up and gently touched the Saturn charm on her necklace. She knew what she needed to do — even though it would hurt.
"Let's get out of here, guys," Ricky said.
"Uh, for the record," Lily began, running backstage with a laugh. Athena rolled her eyes and turned back around to face her, along with everyone else. "We won."
Kourtney chuckled. "Are you serious?"
"Fat chance, blondie," Violetta stated.
"Yeah, did you see Gina and Violetta's moves? No way you beat that."
"Maybe we should have figured out some sort of points system?" Seb asked.
"You know what?" Carlos cut in. "It's fine. Let her say they won. This dance-off doesn't matter. The Menkies matter, and we're gonna win that, because we've got one thing you don't have."
"The sympathy vote?" Lily questioned.
Seb chuckled as Nini walked back into the room to join them. "No, Nini's Rose Song."
"Um . . . sorry, not sorry, Wildcats, but if you perform her song in your show, you will be disqualified from the Menkies," Lily revealed. "You can't alter the original Menken text."
"Well, let's just do it anyway," Nini suggested. "Stick to the plan and take the risk."
"And risk letting them win?" Carlos inquired. He then looked over to EJ. "Isn't there a sports metaphor for this?"
EJ just stared at the floor with wide eyes.
Violetta looked at him incredulously. "Oh, you've got to be kidding. The one time. The one freaking time."
"EJ, you had one job!" Carlos insisted.
"I mean, what if the song didn't really fit in the show anyway, you know?" Ricky asked. "Seems a little heavy."
Athena sighed and shut her eyes for a moment. "Nini, we all love your song. You know we do. You're incredibly talented and an amazing songwriter, but . . . if this gets us disqualified from a competition as big as this one, we can't have it in the show."
Nini kept her gaze on her and Ricky for a long moment before deciding to leave the room altogether. Athena threw her head back in frustration. First, things were rocky with Ricky, and now things were rocky with Nini? She really couldn't catch a break.
Athena gave Lily one last look of loathing before following her friends out of the theater. She placed her hands into the back pockets of her jeans as she slowly walked towards the exit of the school. A presence then appeared by her side, and from the feel of it, Athena knew it was Ricky.
"Wanna come back to my house?" Ricky offered. "We can bake some cookies to make ourselves feel better, maybe order some takeout?"
"Actually, can you, um, take me home?" Athena asked him, her heart already breaking at what she was about to do.
Ricky looked down at her. "What, you don't wanna drive back, miss drivers license?"
She shook head. Ricky's smile dropped off of his face upon noticing how her mood was extremely deflated.
"Is everything okay?" Ricky questioned in concern.
Athena played it off. "Yeah. I'm good."
Nothing was okay and she definitely wasn't good, but nevertheless, the two of them walked out to Ricky's car to go back home.
--- ☆ • ♫ • ♪ • ♫ • ☆ ---
THE CAR RIDE was silent. Ricky could tell that Athena didn't really want to talk, so he didn't say anything. He glanced over a couple of times at her during the ride to see her just staring out the window. There was an aura of melancholy around her that he couldn't quite pinpoint.
Finally, he pulled up in front of her house. Athena looked inside to see that Artemis' light wasn't on — surprise, surprise — and that the living room light was, which meant both of her parents were there. She unbuckled her seatbelt and contemplated for a moment.
This is for the best, Athena thought to herself. Listen to your heart.
"Here we are," Ricky announced. "Uh, I guess I'll FaceTime you later?"
Athena sighed and turned her body to face him for the first time since leaving North High. "Ricky, I . . . I have to talk to you."
"Okay," he replied, laughing nervously. "What about?"
"I — um . . . I think we rushed back into things," Athena admitted quietly, her gaze not quite on him.
Ricky's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?"
"I forgave you after you almost kissed Nini that night at the El Rey," she continued. "And I forgave you after the fight we had in the hallway. But I don't think I fully had time to heal afterwards."
"Heal?" Ricky repeated. "Wasn't me confessing my love to you good enough? Or apologizing?"
"You were about to cheat on me and you said you didn't care that I wouldn't be waiting for you to come back," Athena insisted. "And now seeing you with Lily like that . . . it's bringing back some awful memories of those nights. This circle of hurting, fighting, and forgiving each other isn't good for either of us." She finally looked up at him. "I told you we had to work on communication. Well, this is me communicating."
He stared over at her. "What are you trying to say?"
Athena felt tears pool in her eyes and she began to get choked up. "One of the best things about us is that we know when to give each other space. But this time . . . I think we need space from each other."
Ricky seemed taken aback. "What, you mean like . . . break up? Athena, no, you can't—"
"Please don't make this harder than it already is," Athena pleaded, her voice shaky. "This might be best for us right now."
His eyes turned glassy, like he was also about to cry. "No, Attie, I — I need you. Whatever I did, whatever's going on, I — I can fix it. Please."
"Ricky . . ."
"I haven't had feelings for Nini since we broke up," Ricky rambled as he desperately tried to fix them. A tear dripped down his cheek, making Athena begin to cry as well. "I didn't mean anything that I said in that fight, and Lily doesn't matter to me at all. You and me? That's what matters. You . . . you can't just let it all go. I — I don't know how to do this without you."
Athena smiled sadly at him — Ricky was fighting for them, but she knew after she forgave, another thing would just hurt her again. That was exactly what she didn't want to happen. So she did the first thing that came to mind.
She reached behind her neck and unclasped the necklace that rested there, the same one she had just gotten back today. The owl, the letter R, and the planet Saturn hit against each other as she took off the necklace. She put the piece of jewelry into Ricky's palm and gently moved his fingers so that his hand was making a fist. Athena placed both of her hands around his fist and gave it a small squeeze.
"I love you, okay?" she told him sincerely as she sniffled a little, a tear streaming down her cheek. "To the moon and to Saturn, no matter what. Please remember that."
"Athena . . ." Ricky trailed off, his voice full of hurt. "Athena, baby, please."
She leaned over the center console in the car and kissed his cheek. Athena was sure that if she gave him an actual kiss she wouldn't leave. She offered him one last sad smile with tears falling down her face before leaving the car.
No protests, no nothing. She walked up the pathway to her house crying as she walked away from Ricky's car and Ricky himself. Athena turned around once she got to her door, only to see Ricky staring down at the necklace in his hand in shock. Her bottom lip quivering, she entered her house and shut the door behind her. Ignoring the concerned glances from her parents, she ran up the stairs to her bedroom while crying harder.
Because he said forever, but Athena had to let it go.
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. . . oops?
y'all got this book to 10k reads a couple days ago and I leave you with this as a thank you 💀
OK DON'T BE MAD AT ME LET ME EXPLAIN LET ME EXPLAIN
athena has to focus on herself first, yk??? this entire book and last book has been her being there for him at any point (which I mean as she should she's his girlfriend) but she never gave herself a chance to get over things that hurt her bc she was so focused on ricky, mind you it was things that ricky did that hurt her. THAT'S why she broke it off.
I also heard your protests about athena forgiving ricky too quickly that night he almost kissed nini . . . don't worry, I didn't forget, it was all part of my MASTER PLAN