I spent the next few weeks helping Erwin in whatever way I could, whilst also continuing my work at the paper. I learnt how to shave him, helped him with his writing, even acting as a scribe when he needed to write something longer. If we weren't close already we grew closer from this and although he struggled tremendously in private he still managed to maintain his composure in front of the scouts and new recruits.
I'd started to become closer with them too, I'd been helping out so much that most of them knew who I was. And we would often greet each other as we passed in the hallways or at dinnertime if I was still helping Erwin in the evenings.
Evenings spent with Erwin were my favourite. His office was usually warm and on the days it wasn't he would often wrap me in his blanket once he saw me start to shiver. His arm had healed well but he still felt phantom pain from it.
On those days I tried to keep him distracted as best I could by asking him to talk about battle strategies or about his childhood but lately he'd been experiencing it more and more. Each time we would talk for hours as a distraction but we had soon run out of things to talk about in enough detail to help him forget the pain momentarily.
It was another of the evenings where the pain was almost unbearable for him mentally and physically but we'd exhausted every topic of conversation. I sat helplessly in my chair thinking of what I could do next time it flared up when I noticed Erwin wince again. Being the strong soldier he is, he often wouldn't let on if it was bothering him but I'd learned to see the signs and act before it got too out of hand.
I turned my head towards him slightly, picking my brain to think of a solution. He flinched yet again gripping his residual limb tightly in an attempt to stop it. I couldn't bare to see him like this.
Before I knew it I was on my feet and standing beside Erwin.
"Dance with me?" I said a little nervously.
He chuckled a bit despite still clutching at his arm.
"Okay?" He stood up from his desk and held out his hand to me leading me into the centre of the room.
I placed my hands on his shoulders as he placed his hand on my waist. I smiled at him my cheeks blushing a little. I began to hum softly as we swayed back and forth. I moved closer leaning on Erwin as we swayed. The lavender scent I loved so much still lingered on his skin and I closed my eyes still swaying gently back and forth. Erwin adjusted his head turning slightly to look at me my head so peacefully on his shoulder. His arm moved from my waist to push my hair from my face and he planted a gentle kiss upon my cheek.
My eyes fluttered open a little taken aback by his action and I stopped humming.
"Sorry, you're just so beautiful. I couldn't resist." Erwin gazed upon me his eyes twinkling in the fading sunlight.I moved my arm to Erwin's cheeks stroking over his smooth skin and chiseled jaw before moving my lips to his and locking them in a gentle yet passionate kiss.
As we kissed and held each other close I could feel Erwin's steady heartbeat beneath his shirt which contrasted my own racing one. His bolo tie pressed against the bare skin of my clavicle and slowly warmed to my body temperature. Our lips parted and Erwin once again caressed my cheek.
"I'm so happy I met you y/n. And, despite everything. In this moment, even if I had the chance to change the moments that have led us to this point. I wouldn't change a thing."
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I knocked gently on the door to Erwin's office.
"Come in." He replied.
I entered his office my leather bag draped across my body my scarf wrapped tightly around my neck. It was becoming winter and the mornings had become bitterly cold.
I'd received a few more letters from Hermine district but it wasn't the right time to take off again. It wasn't urgent so it could wait. I knew they wouldn't be impressed with my lack of correspondence and so I knew I needed to do something seriously good to make up for it. I had to do something soon.
"Good morning, Erwin." I curtseyed a little in jest and walked over to his desk kissing his cheek softly.
A small smile crept into his face.
"Good morning, y/n."
I looked around the room my hands grazing over the bookcases.
"Do you have any plans for today?"
I asked taking a book from the shelf and wiping the dust from it with my sleeve
"Not that I can think of, why?" He looked up from the paper he was signing.
"It's just, I think it might be time we organise your office. I've been putting off asking about it but I feel like there's a lot of old files lying around and if we organised it a bit better it might be easier to keep track of everything." I coughed a bit from the dust.
"Very well then." Erwin put down his pen and pushed the papers on his desk aside. "Let's get to work, it's going to take a while thought, you are aware of this right?"
"Of course. But who knows it might even be fun?" I pulled the chair over to the desk and began to flick through papers making piles around the room as a way to distinguish what they were for. People had continued to come in and out all day, including Hange, but they didn't stay for long for fear they would be roped into helping with this gargantuan task.
Soon the piles had taken over most of the room and I was beginning to think this was a bigger task than I had originally anticipated. The information contained within all this paper work was not only interesting but also incredibly dangerous if it got into the wrong hands. So, organising it and making sure it was well kept would be the first step to making sure that it didn't get leaked anywhere.
Just as we were stopping to take a short break Levi opened the door carefully holding two cups of steaming hot tea.
"I thought you two could use a beverage." Levi stated plainly, walking over to the desk and placing the tea down.
"Thank you Levi, much appreciated as always." Erwin said in response.
"Yes, thanks, I was just starting to get a little parched. But how did you know we were doing this?" I asked taking a sip of the tea.
"Hange told me. It's a big task, I've attempted it many times myself. Consider me impressed." With that he left the room. I couldn't help but feel a little triumphant that it seemed Levi was finally starting to warm up to me.
"You really must have made a good impression. I don't think he's ever made tea for a guest before." Erwin chuckled and went back to signing papers.
As much as I appreciated Levi bringing me this tea, it might be the opportunity I've been looking for.
I reached across Erwin's desk to grab a paper and knocked into the tea cup causing it to fall onto its side and spill its contents onto the desk.
"Oh god's!" I hurriedly picked up the stack of papers closest to it to avoid having them get wet. "I'm so sorry, I'm so clumsy sometimes, I'm always spilling ink at work too."
"It's alright, you managed to grab the papers out the way before the got damaged so no harm done. I'll just go and grab a cloth to clean that up" Erwin stood from his desk.
"It's okay, I can go." I turned my head towards Erwin as he rounded the desk headed for the door.
"No, it's okay I needed to stretch my legs, anyhow. I'll just grab one from the storage cupboard down the hall." Erwin cracked his knuckles on his leg before smiling at me and leaving the room.
Perfect. Now he was gone I hurriedly grabbed my bag pulling out my notebook and going behind Erwin's desk opening several of the drawers looking for the diagrams that had been mentioned in the letters mother had written me.
'Damn, where could they be in this mess.' I thought to myself before noticing one of the drawers on the desk had a key hole
"Curses." I muttered. "Where would he keep the key?" I knew I didn't have long before Erwin would return and the last thing I wanted was for him to catch me rifling through his desk drawers and especially not picking the lock.
I tugged on the handle and to my surprise it pulled open with a slight jolt. I guess he left it open. He clearly trusted me. I pulled out the blueprints and began to hurriedly scribble down measurements and any drawings I could muster as quickly as possible. Glancing to the door every now and then.
After I had got enough to recreated the blueprint at a later date I put the papers back and closed the drawer before grabbing one of the papers off the top of one of the piles that I had sorted earlier and writing down information about an upcoming mission. I became lost in writing down the details, they always nagged me for not being specific enough so I'd give them specifics.
Creak.
The sound of a floorboard under someone's weight.
I turned my head quickly to see Erwin in the doorway his blue eyes dull and numbed. No cloth in hand.
We stared at each other in silence for a few moments the blood draining from my face before Erwin finally spoke his voice full of hurt.
"Was it all a lie?"