Nervous
Jangmi felt uncomfortable entering the school gates with her brother. It wasn't just because she was absent for the entirety of last week, but also because of what happened when she was stuck at home. When Sunghoon left the house, she felt a little disappointed that he had to leave so soon—after four hours of staying with each other.
All of a sudden, she wanted to see him again. Jangmi opened her eyes so quickly, anticipating the older boy, but instead saw her older brother. She groaned in disappointment.
As much as she tried to forget it, she really wanted to see Sunghoon again. But now that she had the opportunity to see him again, she was nervous. It was like she couldn't decide whether she wanted to see him or not. If she didn't see him, she would be sad; but if she saw him, she would be a nervous mess and run away.
She didn't know what to do.
"Jangmi? Are you okay?" Her older brother nudged her slightly as he unlocked the door of the car. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at him. "Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?"
Jay watched his sister's actions and concluded that she was jittery based on the way she spoke and moved too quickly. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Are you scared because you missed school for a whole week?"
His younger sister nodded her head a little too automatically. "A little," she said timidly, knowing that her answer was partly true and partly false. She slung her duffel bag on her shoulder and closed the car door behind her before following Jay. Jangmi was set on not telling her older brother about her thoughts on his own best friend.
"The teachers already know about your absence because mom called them last week. They said to show your medical certificate in case they ask you for further proof."
Jangmi nodded in response. She found herself clinging onto her older brother's arm. Although he found it cute, he couldn't help but be concerned. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I just think that I missed a lot, oppa. I know I'll be able to catch up, but it's just a lot to think about," she told him. He shook her grip off of his arm and transferred his arm around her shoulders. "Don't think about it that way. We don't want you getting stressed right after being sick or you might relapse, okay? So just take your time, and you'll be able to catch up." he told her in a lighthearted manner, earning a nod from the younger girl.
The Park siblings continued to walk into the school building and stopped in front of the stairs—or the railing of the stairs. Jay pulled Jangmi in for a tight hug before kissing her forehead while his little sister snuggled into his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso. She smiled as she saw her older brother looking at her lovingly. "Stay safe, okay? Don't forget to drink a lot of water," he reminded her. Jangmi nodded. "Yes, sir!" She saluted to him, making the older boy chuckle. He ruffled her hair before starting the climb up to his floor.
When he was no longer in sight, the girl felt a few light taps on her shoulder; making her turn around instinctively to see Sunoo smiling widely as he waved his right hand to greet her.
Jangmi's day instantly felt better.
She wrapped her arms around his frame and held him close. Her best friend, already being accustomed to her touchy-feely side, was not surprised anymore. "I missed you," She said in a sad tone as she placed her head on top of his shoulder. Sunoo rubbed the girl's back reassuringly. "I missed you too, Jangmi. I felt so alone last week," he hummed out.
He pulled away from the hug and held her shoulder's tightly. "It's not the same without you!" He fake cried dramatically. She couldn't help but laugh at how he looked and sounded like.
She really did miss him.
"I was also alone at home last week!" Jangmi mocked him, fake crying dramatically as she also held onto his shoulders. He rolled his eyes, clung on her arm and started to drag her with him towards the classroom.
After her best friend had filled her in with what happened last week, their laughter had died down. It wasn't much of a bad thing; it was just that she found herself caught up with another thought.
"Sunoo?" She called her best friend. His turned his head instantly to face her direction.
"How does it feel like to be crushing on someone?"
Jangmi was happy and relieved to see that Sunoo didn't think too much about it and just answered her question. She just didn't want him to make such a big fuss out of it. Her best friend, on the other hand, couldn't believe that she asked such a question. Sunoo didn't think much about it though as he thought that it was just her curiosity since he was aware that she never had a crush.
He thought deeply about his answer before responding. "It depends per person. Some people say that your skips a beat, or something like that, when you're near them. You can't stop staring at them. You think about them all the time too. Some people want to run away while others want to see them all the time..."
Jangmi's thoughts instantly went back to Sunghoon as her best friend continued to list more of these 'symptoms'. The more she listened, the more confusion she felt. When the older boy's face was so close to her last week, she felt exactly what Sunoo was describing.
"...personally, I'm more of the 'see your crush all the time' kind of person," he finished before looking back at Jangmi. He noticed her blank expression and became concerned. "Are you okay?"
She gulped. "Yeah! I'm fine," she replied to Sunoo in fake enthusiasm as she started to speak quicker than usual. He raised an eyebrow, instantly spotting the lie.
"You're not fine," he told her while shaking his head, resulting in the girl's heartbeat quicken. Sunoo wasn't stupid and she was well aware of that. Jangmi just didn't want to make such a big deal out of it—and knowing him, that was exactly what we going to do.
When her best friend gasped out loudly, she knew that she could no longer keep the truth away from him.
"DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE?" He shouted in the hallway. People stared at the both of them weirdly as she hit him and placed her palm on his lips to shut him up. They stopped right before they entered their classroom.
To be honest, Jangmi wasn't even sure if it was a crush. But with how she had been feeling throughout the past week, she couldn't help but piece things together slowly—and she didn't like the answer she was getting to.
Sunoo's eyes widened, half in shock and half in excitement—mostly excitement. "WHO IS IT?" He asked so excitedly. As much as his reaction was something Jangmi didn't hope for, it still made her smile. Once her best friend was happy, she would instantly be affected.
She hummed in thought. Did she really want to tell her best friend about her crush? Of course, she did. But again, she still wasn't sure if she had a crush on Sunghoon. She thought that maybe she was still confusing the feelings she felt for other feelings.
"It's..." she hesitated. Even his name sent her heart racing. Sunoo tried to wait for his best friend to tell him, but he was too impatient. He started naming people to try and narrow the list down for himself. "If you say it's Beomgyu, good luck. He sits right beside you, and you won't be able to focus in class. I know you. And you can't run away from him either because—"
"It's not him," Jangmi told him. She could feel the nervousness eating her up. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell him, she was just nervous to acknowledge the crush because admitting it would mean facing it head on. She knew that she would end up drowning in the emotions, but she let the name roll off of her lips nonetheless.
"It's Sunghoon oppa."
When the both of them got to their classroom, Jangmi tried to forget about the conversation she had with Sunoo a few minutes before. After she acknowledged her feelings to him, her worst nightmare had come to life. She couldn't get Sunghoon out of her head. Although she was still paying attention in class, she found the older boy sneaking into her mind at the most random times.
During the time wherein the class was dismissed for lunch, Sunoo happily skipped to Jangmi. He was acting as if he was the one crushing on someone, but it was just because he was happy and excited for his best friend. "Ready to see him today?" His voice was teasing.
That was the question currently in her mind: was she ready to see him today?
They walked outside the classroom when Jangmi felt uneasy. "Speaking of that," she started. "I don't really want to eat with my brother and his friends today." Her statement made her best friend confused.
"Why not?" he asked, pouting at her slightly.
"Seeing Sunghoon oppa would just be weird now!" She exasperated. "It would be so awkward around him, and I don't know what I'm going to do."
It was the fact that she had never felt this that made it worse. She didn't know how to deal with these racing thoughts and rushing emotions.
Sunoo chuckled at his best friend. He found her confusion cute and innocent. Honestly, he was shocked that she began to like someone—but was not surprised to find out that it was Sunghoon. With how close the older boy was with Jangmi nowadays, he kind of expected it to happen—just not as soon as now.
"Just act how you normally would!" He advised. "The both of you don't even talk that much during lunch time because you're so busy with your schoolwork."
Well, he had a point.
Jangmi clutched her notebook and pen tightly as they entered the cafeteria and ran towards the line to get their lunch. To her, time suddenly felt so much faster, like she was losing track of it while thinking about him. And, the thought of it scared her.
"Since when did you even like hyung?" Sunoo asked you softly in order for the news not to spread. He caught her wandering eyes that seemed looking for something to avoid the topic with. "Look, Sunoo! Chicken and kimchi jjigae!" She told him as she pointed at the glass casing filled with food.
"Jangmi! Don't change the subject!" He complained, hitting her playfully. She finally turned around to face him. "Fine," she huffed.
"Maybe last week?"
"LAST WEEK?"
"SUNOO, STOP SHOUTING!"
People gave the both of them weird stares again, but it was none of their concern. "When you were sick?" He asked, this time, in a softer voice. All Jangmi did was nod as a response.
When she and Sunoo moved through the line, he nudged her slightly. "Remember: act like you normally would around him," he reminded his best friend, who just spotted Sunghoon enter the cafeteria as soon as they had their trays filled.
Jangmi could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she took a good look at the older boy. He was so good looking that she almost lost her footing and tripped until Sunoo told her to watch her step. The older boy was lining up to get his food while the two best friends were the first ones to sit down at the table. "I won't even look at him," Jangmi told herself in a mumble. Her best friend nodded in agreement.
After a few minutes, the table started filling up. It was Jay first, then Jungwon, Jake and Ni-ki, Heeseung, and then Sunghoon was last.
The eldest looked at Jangmi with a wide smile on his face. "You're back!" He said happily as he patted her shoulder and ruffled her hair. She smiled back at him. "Did you miss me, oppa?" She joked.
"Yeah, I really missed you," he replied sadly, making everyone widen their eyes at him. The young girl missed the flash of panic in the all of the boys' eyes before Heeseung spoke again. "We ALL missed you. Especially Sunoo, he kept complaining all week."
"Yeah, noona! We said it felt incomplete without you!" Jungwon calmly added to Heeseung's statement. All the boys knew that Jangmi had no clue about the eldest's crush—and Jay planned for it to stay that way until he felt like it was the right time to tell his younger sister.
She simply smiled at the fact that everyone missed her. "I missed you guys too!" She smiled brightly at all of them and made brief eye contact with Sunghoon while doing so, and she felt her heart beating too quickly for her own liking.
"Wait, excuse me. I need to use the restroom," she announced before standing up and running out the cafeteria. Happy that no one else was there, she approached the mirror and looked at herself.
Jangmi brushed her hair with her shaky fingers. She tried to recall all of the times that she and Sunghoon have been with one another and felt her cheeks flush instantly.
Sunghoon was always kind to her. She realized it in the way he was protective—less than her older brother but still protective. He was sweet to her as he took care of her a lot, and was always the first person she went to when she wanted to talk about the struggles being an athlete. He listened to her intently many times and helped her through many difficult things. Whenever he was with her, she felt safe and comfortable.
Jangmi felt like she had been hit by a truck. She couldn't explain the feeling, but one thing was for sure.
She really liked him.
Hello! The eighteenth chapter's up!
SO JANGMI FINALLY ADMITS HER FEELINGS FIRST YAY!!! I basically have nothing else to say but the fact that I'm so happy that we've finally reached this point of the book 🥰 ALSO I REALLY MISS ENHYPEN 😭 I need to catch up on them, but how will I when I have so much papers to do???? For next week, I'm not even sure if I can update-- so just wait for an announcement on that. If I don't post an announcement, then I'll be able to update!
ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE 6.7K READS AND 454 VOTES WOW 😍 You guys are so incredible. I've said it many times and I will say it again, but thank you so much for reading "Gold". It makes me so happy to know that you guys are enjoying it as much as I do. I love you all 😘❤️ AND HAVE A GOOD DAY / NIGHT whenever you are!!
Hope you guys like the chapter! Don't forget to vote and comment if you're enjoying so far! 💛
See you in the next chapter!
- Lia