july 2014
kenzie louise
i shot up from my dream with my hair stuck to the side of my face with sweat
i leant my head in my hands and waited a few minutes trying to control my crazy breathing
"i'm here" ross cooed to me in his croaky voice
i calmed down almost immediately and looked up at him, tears drying on my face
"same dream?" he asked as he rubbed my back gently
i nodded and gulped
"it's okay, i'm here, your here, we're okay" he reassured me
i smiled weakly as he placed a kiss gently on my forehead before laying down
i layed down next to him after a few seconds, my eyebrows still furrowed in confusion
"ross?" i asked seeing if he was awake
he mumbled into the pillow, i looked up and him to see a smile on his face but his eyes closed, he was asleep.
"i love you" i whispered as i drifted back off to sleep
i did love him. i really did, but i didn't want him to know.
~
i woke up the next morning with ross snuggled into my chest, our legs were intertwined and the cover was nearly taking over ross completely
i didn't want to move, i wanted to stay like this forever, i was becoming attached, and i knew that i shouldn't.
"goodmorning" i whisper as i see him shift a little
"hey" he whispered back
i smiled at his morning voice as he came out of my chest a little and layed on the pillow with his arms around me still
i had my hands around his neck whilst our legs were intertwined still
"your so cute" he said as he held me tighter
i blushed and tried hiding my face in his neck; making him laugh softly
~
it had been around an hour since i woke up, me and ross were in one of those conversations i never wanted to end
"no because if i was to go skydiving you wouldn't come" he argued back
we were discussing our future with everyone, what it would be like when they went on tour and how busy he would be, we wanted to do a few more things before they left for tours
and skydiving was one.
"no! i wouldn't" i laughed
"exactly" he laughed back
as our laughs died down i carried on "i would just be scared, like what if i was to fall, or my parachute didn't work, i would just die!"
he laughed "you wouldn't die"
"oh yeah? how do you know?"
"because i would catch you if you fell" he smirked
i rolled my eyes before replying "you wouldn't be able to"
"i already did" he whispered
i knew exactly what he was talking about; how i 'fell for him'
"whatever, you can be my superhero" i laughed
"always and forever" he said sticking his pinky finger out for me to promise him
i interiwned our pinky fingers and we both brought our thumbs to our mouths and kissed it softly
another promise added to the collection
~
"what's your biggest fear" ross asked me as we were layed on the beach watching the sunset
"probably loosing someone important, after looking...her, i'm terrified, but i try not to show it" i say as i feel my eyes watering
he put his arm around me and i hid my face in his chest
"it's okay" he said rubbing my back
i let some small tears fall of my cheek before looking up at him
"i'm sorry" i said
"hey hey hey, for what?" he said in shock
"this" i said wiping my tears
he frowned before sitting up and grabbing my hands "am i someoke important to you?"
"yes...yes of course" i sniffled
"then i promise you, i'm not leaving, maybe for tour, but i know that you are different, before i met you, i never believed in love, i hated it all, all i did was talk to a few girls but i never felt this way for them before, your different kenzie, and i'm so happy i met you, and got to know you" he told me
by this point more tears were rolling down my face
"okay?" he asked
i nodded.
"hey" he said squeezing my hand to get his attention
i looked up at him before he continued
"i promsie" he let go of my hand and stuck his pinky finger out
i intertwined my pinky with his and brought our thumbs up to our mouths and kissed them
~
"hurry up!" ross shouted from the stairs
i checked my hair one last time before running out my bedroom
"can we go to the arcade now?" he whined
"fine" i sighed
the arcade was our favourite place when we were at the beach house, and we went to the same one before as little kids, but we never knew it was the same one
"yay" he practically shouted
i laughed before slipping my converse on, i grabbed my keys before opening the door
"we're be back soon!" i shouted
"okay" is all i heard back
i shrugged before walking out with ross behind me, he shut the door as i jumped in the drivers seat of the van
"let me drive" he insisted
"no! i'm a good driver" i defended myself
he rolled his eyes before telling me to get out
i did as he said a jumped out, with a strop i sat in the passenger seat
i crossed my arms over my chest and ross starting driving down the road
he looked over at me after a few minutest days saw me in a mood, i heard him laugh a little before he starting talking
"kenzieeee" he whined
i shook my head.
"listen, when we get to the arcade i'll buy your favourite strawberry ice cream?"
my head immediately turned to face him
"is that okay?" he laughed
i nodded my head impatiently
he laughed "okay"
when we got there i stepped out the van and made my way over to ross, he shut the door after stepping out and intertwined our hands when we starting walking in
i was suprised but i let me.
"can we have one strawberry and one chocolate chip cookie dough please" ross asked the man behind the counter
ross got the money out and payed still holding onto my hand, my anxiety was starting to kick in and ross realised, he gave me my hand a squeeze catching my attention
he furrowed his eyebrows but i just nodded in response, he payed and i squeezed his hand saying thank you
he smiled down at me before letting my hand go to get the ice creams
"pier?" he asked as he took a spoonful of ice cream and put it in his mouth
"sure" i smiled
we headed to the pier and sat down on a spare table by the edge of the sea
"thank you" i smiled at him as he sat down in front of me
"it's nothing" he shurgged
i mumbled in response.
once we finished our ice creams we walked around the pier for a while, ross nearly made me wet myself when he got angry because he couldn't hook the duck on the hook and it was making me laugh a lot
he did end up getting it on and won me a huge bear
"pick" he said pointing towards the bears
"hmm, this one!" i pointed to a medium sized brown bear holding a pink love heart
he smiled before standing on the stool to reach it, even though he was 6ft he wasn't tall enough
he handed it to me and kissed my cheek and i held the bear in my arms blushing
the sun was setting and we were sat on some beach chairs at the edge of the pier, looking out onto the sea
"can you tell me something?" he said randomly
"hhh" i mumbled
"promise me that, no matter what, we will always do this whenever we can, this will be like...our thing" he said getting excited
i laughed a little before nodding
"yay" he smiled as he brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed it lightly
i blushed when he took out his pinky finger and held it out for me to intertwine them, so i did.
we brought it up to our mouths and kissed our thumbs.
this was our thing.
and i couldn't be happier.
~
"so i'll be your superhero then?" he smirked
"always and forever" i laughed
he smiled before pushing his lips into mine softly, i pulled back when i heard a knock at the door
"mhm" i mumbled loudly
"we're gonna head home" riker said as he opened the door
"we need to rehearse a song tomorrow, so if you guys wants to come over in a few days, your more than welcome" he smiled
i nodded as he shut the door walking out.
"you need to go" i whispered to ross
"i don't want too" he shook his head
"i know, but think about it, you have so much out there ahead of you, your gonna be huge! it's worth it, i'll see you soon" i said as i patted his chest
he groaned before getting out of bed, he walked to the bathroom and did his stuff, packed some more most likely
i layed in bed staring at the ceiling when it all came to me, i wasn't going to see the love of my life for 8 months
i sounded so dramatic but i was really going to be lonely
i turned my head a little and saw the three polaroid pictures in a small photo frame, it was black and white picture of me and ross, when we had a cosy pizza day, when we went to the arcade, and one from my birthday
i hate this.
~
"can we just cuddle and eat pizza all day?" ross groaned as i rolled out of bed
"really?" i furrowed my eyebrows
he nodded a load of times
i rolled my eyes after giving in, i snuggled back into ross' chest as he held me close, he grabbed the remote and turned it on
"romeo and juliet" he smiled
"fine" i laughed a little as i saw him get excited
he put it on after ordering pizza, we snuggled and took a few pictures, including the ones now in the photo frame.
~
"i'll see you in a few days" ross said as he held my hands in front of him
i nodded.
we were stood behind the front door, whilst the others were saying there goodbyes, i was seeing him in a few days yes but this was the last time he would be at my house for 8 months
"let's go!" rocky shouted as he climbed in the van
"goodbye superhero" i laughed
"goodbye baby" he smiled before kissing me softly
we pulled away when riker beeped the horn
"that's my queue" he smiled
i nodded, he let my hands hand dramatically when he walked away
"text me" i whispered as he looked at me once last time before shutting the door
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a/n
:(((
sorry updates are getting slower, schools hard
but thanks for everything