Hey y'all guess what I realized
I haven't fed any of you angst in a hot minute.
So you're welcome here's a sad one-
Um Trigger Warnings-
Su!c!de
R@p3
Se1f h@rm
"Oh Shirabu~ are you ready for today's insult?" I asked as he walked in. He groaned instantly making me laugh.
"Your hair is like Goshiki's."
"Hey don't compare me to that idiot!"
"Now now you shouldn't be speaking about your kouhai like that."
"Says you." He said smirking.
Damn. Really dug my own grave there huh?
"You know I'm joking correct?"
"Yea well I'm not. I mean it when I say you're an idiot."
"Aww so mean Shira!" I teased him. He smiled at me rolling his eyes.
~
"Morning Shira~ how is your morning."
"Fine, now let's get your stupid insult over with."
"Why are you excited to hear? Didn't know you were a masochist."
"I'm not a fucking masochist." Shirabu said glaring at me. Something is different.
"Hey are you okay? You seem off-"
"I'm fine. Why would you care anyways if something was wrong?"
"Because I care about you Shirabu. You're my friend."
"Yea sure."
"I am okay? Just know that." He looked back at me as I spoke before he smiled a bit.
It's probably just a bad day.
~
"Hiya Shirabu! How's your morning going?"
"Piss off."
"Jeez so mean!"
"Shut the hell up. I'm not dealing with your shit today." Shirabu said before waking over to the sinks and washing his face stopping only to take breaths.
"Hey Shirabu...what's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"You clearly aren't. Come on tell me I'll listen." I said putting my hand on his back. He instantly flinched stepping away from me as I pulled my arm back.
"Shirabu-"
"I'm fine. I-I'm fine. Just don't tell anyone about this alright?"
"What do you mean."
"You're a dumbass." Shirabu said shaking his head.
~
"WOA SHIRABU?! YOU HAVE A HICKEY??"
"I..." he mumbled before he turned away.
"I rather not speak about it...thanks.."
I watched as instead of changing in the locker room he went to a stall and changed.
What's up with him? Something is definitely wrong.
"Shirabu just talk to me. I know something wrong."
"Nothing is wrong. I-I'm fine..."
"No you're not. You're acting different."
"Bad morning okay?! Just get off my case..."
Before he left I grabbed his hand pulling him towards me.
"Shirabu if something is wrong please tell me. I want to help you anyway I can alright? I care about you-"
"Yea right." He said yanking his hand away from me before leaving. Before he left I could've swear I saw him wipe away a tear before he mumbled "no one does..."
Shirabu...please talk to me...
~
"Shirabuuu are you gonna talk to me yet?"
It's like everything changed. It wasn't cheerful, playful insults anymore. I couldn't help but worry about him. He was doing worse in the court and always seemed out of it.
"Just shut up."
"Come on you know I'm here for you...seriously Shirabu."
"You? Serious? Whatever."
He left to go change in the stall again and I sighed looking everywhere waiting for him. I noticed his bag and a shiny thing there. Curiosity got the best me and I looked before my eyes widened.
I t w a s a k n i f e .
"Shirabu....?" I asked holding it as he walked out stopping.
"S-Semi I-"
"Shirabu why do you have this?"
He stayed quiet before I grabbed his wrists watching his face. He winced before pulling away.
"Shirabu show me."
"Why? You wouldn't care. No one would."
"That's a fucking lie, I care about you so much Shirabu."
"That's a lie."
"Shirabu tell me what's wrong-"
"YOU WANNA KNOW WHATS WRONG?! FINE!! I GET RAPED BY MY DAD ABOUT FIVE TIMES WEEK!! THERE! ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY?! OR ARE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE NOW? ITS BECAUSE YOU DONT FUCKING CARE!! NO ONE DOES!! IM A LITTLE SHIT WHO CANT DO ANYTHING!!"
"I...S-Shirabu that's not true! You shouldn't say stuff like that, Shirabu y-you're amazing and I-"
"JUST SHUT UP!!" He yelled as tears fell. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything..."
He sighed before he turned to me.
"Bye Semi...I love you."
"What-" he then ran out and before I could chase after him Tendou and Ushijima came blocking the way.
"What happened to Shirabu?"
"...I-I don't know..." I answered.
I didn't know. I was so confused.
~
As soon as practice ended I rushed out looking for Shirabu. Where would he be. He wasn't in the locker room or behind the school. Then it hit me.
"Bye Semi..."
The rooftop....
I ran trying not to imagine the worst.
But it was the worst.
"SHIRABU DON'T PLEASE!!"
"I'm sorry Semi...I-I can't take it anymore..."
"Shirabu please!! I-I promise I'll save you. I promise just please!! Please don't go!!"
Shirabu flashed a small smile as tears fell before he let go of the railing that kept him from falling.
"SHIRABU NOO!!!"
I ran to him frantically trying to catch him, but I couldn't.
He was gone.
This...it's my fault...
I could've...I should've done something...
but it's too late now...
Should I write this from ShiraShira'z view because I'm extremely tempted too