Matti Williams
The heat from the flashes and the loud voices were making it hard to focus on the fact that I needed to get out of this conference as soon as possible and figure out what the hell was happening with her.
I felt Reese observing the back of the room too but it was unnoticed by the press in the room considering all eyes were on me at the moment.
But my eyes weren't on them—they were on the tiny brunette of mine that got carried out by my best friend.
"You need to go—I'll answer the questions." Reese whispered in my ear. Thankfully he was quiet enough that the words weren't picked up on the microphone. But the words were picked up by coach as he turned to me.
He hadn't seen what was going on but he made sure to give me the 'you're not throwing this away' look. But, I wasn't throwing it away my future—my future was sobbing her eyes out getting carried out the door.
As a reporter asked Reese a question, coach whispered in my ear, "I saw. But you need to stay here—you need to be selfish. Stay now and then go, she would agree." I paused.
I could feel my heart palpitating. I couldn't abandon her like this—but I knew he was right, she would hate herself if I left this conference because of her.
She hates attention and she hates the feeling of ruining a future.
I cleared my throat and grabbed the water bottle that laid next to the microphone. I opened it and drank the water. Hoping and praying that it would pass the time. I had spoken my truth, I had apologized, I had done my part.
Naomi needed me.
"Mattison! What are you looking forward to the most when it comes to the next few years in this new chapter?" A reporter asks me. I nod towards them, "Getting my life started—helping a team become the greatest it could be and more." I spoke as they thanked me.
I was most excited for her.
I wanted to see Naomi become the best person she could possibly be. I wanted her to be the best version of herself because she deserved it. She deserved to feel the happiness, she deserved a loving life—a beautiful family. A happy ending.
She deserved for her dreams to come true.
Coaches eyes were felt on mine—I couldn't focus with everything going on inside of my mind at the moment. There were so many emotions—so much going on.
Coach leaned towards the microphone, "Thank you all for coming—at this time we will be taking no further questions." He spoke as the reporters yelled out a few questions. He ignored them though. He stood up from his seat and that's when Reese and I followed suit.
I let out a huff as I finally walked out of that room that felt like five hundred degrees. I needed to find her, I needed to know what was wrong. "Matti! We still need to talk!" I heard my dad yell out from behind me as I walked with the coach.
I turned around, "I can't. I need to go, I'll call you." I spoke back loudly to him. I saw out of the corner of my eye coach let out a small smile. "Mattison." I heard my dad demand. I groaned, for the love of god.
"Reese go find them and then text me where you're at—please? I owe you one." I spoke as he nodded at me. I turned around and walked to my parents who were standing in the corner. My father stood with his arms crossed and my mother had a smile on her face. I sighed, "Hi," I spoke.
My dad cleared his throat, "This whole—mindset, mentality, whatever we want to call it. It needs to go, you can't lose your focus." He spoke in a hushed tone. I raised my eyebrows, "I'm a grown man. Don't tell me how to live my life." I spoke back to him.
He let out a chuckle before poking me in the chest, "Listen, tough guy. I got you to where you are today— don't fuck this up." He spoke and before I could respond, my mother got into the middle, removing his finger poking my chest.
"Colton, quit being such an asshole. He's getting drafted either way. Knock it off," She spoke to him as he shook his head. "He is throwing away his life! Over a girl!" He exclaimed as she shook her head. "You're throwing away our family over your receptionist! Don't think I don't know about this!" She spoke in an oddly calm fashion.
I took a step back. "I don't think you are in any position to give him relationship advice." She reminded him he looked at her—defeated. She was clearly hurt, but he looked at her in pain—she knew what he was doing behind her back.
She turned to look at me, "Go. Find her. I'll deal with him." She gave me a small smile as I gave her concerned eyes. But as a mother does, she conceals her pain and does what's best for her child.
I nodded towards her, leaned in and kissed her cheek.
I checked my phone and saw that Reese said he was in the coaches office. So I ran throughout the stadium, down the hallways, down stairs, and got to the long hallway. I got to the room and I pounded on the door. I needed to see her.
I ran a hand through my hair as the door opened—Nat.
I walked in and looked around, inside was Caden, Finnegan, Griffin, Nat, Reese, and Coach.
Naomi—not in sight.
I sighed, "Where is she?" I asked as they stayed silent. "Hello? You guys always have something to say about my relationship—where is she?" I repeated. Griffin sighed, "Sit down please." He pleaded.
I looked at him in concern, what the actual fuck was going on and where was my girlfriend?
I walked to the chair in the corner and planted my ass on it, I nodded for them to speak. "She isn't here." Griffin stated as I let out a sarcastic chuckle, "No shit." I responded.
"She's going back home." He continued and I shot out of my chair. "Home? She's going home!" I exclaimed. What the hell was I still doing here? He shook his head, "She's going home because she has to go to the hospital." My eyes widened, I felt pale.
Finnegan stood up, "Oh for fucks sake Griffin! You're terrible at explaining things. Matti—" She turned to look at me. I made eye contact with her, she slowly walked towards me. "She got a call from the hospital, they need her to come and identify—'' Her voice cracked.
I raised my eyes, what was going on?
"Identify what?" I asked as she took a deep breath. "They need her to identify if the dead bodies they have in their lab are her grandparents." She spoke and my mouth dropped.
Huh?
What?
When?
My heart was in my stomach. This poor girl could not catch a break for the life of her. She was the kindest, most warm hearted, fun loving girl. And not one good thing could happen to her?
"Blake and Sloane went with her—" I cut Griffin's words off. "They don't need to be with her. I needed to be with her!" I yell at them.
"Well unfortunately Mr. Big time—your career came first." Finn spoke back to me. I raised my eyebrows ready to explode.
"That's enough, leave him alone." Coach spoke as the two girls looked at him with blazing eyes. I did feel guilty though because what Finn said was true. If it weren't for my career, I would be with her right now.
God, she must be a fucking wreck.
I rubbed my hands over my face.
"What are the chance's—the odds? She has nothing, nobody! And like this shit continues to happen to her! You had the genius fucking idea to bring her father back and it's like it has had a ripple effect of her damn life!" Finn yells at coach. He just stands there and listens.
And I have to soak in her words. No, it wasn't coach's fault. But the girl who had nothing continues to lose what she had been holding onto by a thread.
I shook my head, taking a seat.
"Coach—I'm not going to any of my meetings with the NFL teams for the next week. Please let them know it's an emergency, I have to go." I pleaded with him as he just stared at me.
"Matti, she wouldn't want this." He shook his head at me. I groaned, "Why is it always what everyone else wants! For once, I just want to get the hell out of here and be with the person that cares the most about me because she needs me right now!" I speak in frustration.
Everyone turns to look at coach as he walks to sit at his desk, tired of leaning on it. Once he sits he moves his glasses to the top of his head, he rubs his eyes. "We don't even know if it is her grandparents." He speaks trying to reason. I continue to stare at him. "Matti. It's not a smart career choice bud," He states but again I stare at him.
I could give to shits about my career at this point.
"Let him go." I turned to look at Reese, who had just spoken. "When has the boy cared for anyone other than himself? He wants to—he's becoming a man. Let him go be there for her. If the teams don't understand, oh well. He can come back to the team for another season." I look at Reese in shock.
I look at the others who have their faces holding a look of shock as well, Reese Joseph was a boy full of surprises.
He just shrugged at everyone and sat back, getting more comfortable.
"I just—" I paused before clearing my throat. "I want to do the right thing for her. Right now, she may hate me for leaving, but she won't hate me for being there for her. I haven't really been there for her in the past, so I really think she needs me right now.'' I stand up and don't really care to hear their responses.
I look towards the two girls as they stare at my figure. "Well—who has her home address?" I ask the two as they nod. "I think we should all go." Griffin suggests as I shake my head. "No. Just me, everyone else is going to enjoy their break. She needs someone to be with and I can do that for her." I spoke as they all gave up not wanting to pose an argument with me.
Nat and Finn stood up to walk over to me.
"We'll head to the apartment and pack some stuff for her. You go home and get your stuff ready, we'll meet you guys there. Okay?" Natalie spoke as I nodded in agreement.
I look towards coach and he nods towards me. Everyone walks out of the room first but coach stops me. "Matti—one last thing," He says. I turned back from the doorway and looked at him.
"If she needs anything let me know. There's a lot more to the story than what you both don't know." He speaks reaching for his water. I raise my eyebrows, "Like?" I ask as he nods.
"She's not in debt." He says as I let out a chuckle.
"She wasn't going to be for much longer—I was going to pay it off at the end of the semester." I spoke trying to make sense of his words. He shook his head, "No. She's not in debt—I'm in charge of her trust fund. Trust me—that girl is covered for college." He takes a sip of his water and my mouth drops open.
That sneaky son of a bitch.
"So if she needs the money, let me know." He continues after swallowing. "Oh and Matti—keep this between us. I wouldn't want her dad knowing what her mom left her." He smiles at me as my mouth is still on the floor.
I nod and walk out of his office unknowing of what the hell to think.
This poor girl had been stressed for no reason these last nineteen years. And her mom left him in charge of her money? What?
I shook my head and walked towards the group that had been waiting for me. And then we walk in silence to our cars. I walk to Camille with my head hung low, not wanting any attention on me. I wanted to get back to the apartment and try to comprehend how this was all happening.
I wasn't going to let her be in debt much longer no matter if her trust fund covered it or not. I was sleeping on millions, I was about to earn more. She needed it more than I did—or so I thought. But like, what the actual fuck?
I pulled out of the stadium onto college avenue and tried to comprehend the fact that I would be receiving a text or call that would change everything. She was going to be fucking wrecked if it were her grandparents. She didn't deserve that shit.
I felt tears pooling in the bottom of my eyes in pain for her.
How much more would one have to go through for this horrible life to resolve itself?
I pulled into the driveway behind all of the boys and we walked into the house—quiet.
It was unlike us.
I walked up the stairs and into my room. I walked over to my bed—to Naomi's side and just sat in her place. Because this was the closest I would ever get to being in her shoes.
I felt a tear slowly drip down my cheek and I wiped it away. This poor girl and I know she hated pity, but this poor girl. She was only nineteen and been through so much. How would I even fix life for her? How could I help her?
Would she even accept the help?
Fuck her dad. Her dad was literally at the stadium whenever I left, his parents could be dead right now. He doesn't care about anyone but himself.
My phone buzzed and I jumped to grab it.
She's bad. - From Blake.
I'm leaving now. Any updates?- I sent.
I sighed. Of course she was down bad—how would you feel if the only piece of your family left was presumably dead?
My phone started ringing, I answered. "Hello," I spoke. I heard air in the background. "Hey. We just got to the hospital. Sloane just went inside to see where we were supposed to go." He spoke as I listened.
"How is she?" I ask. He clears his throat. "I'm outside of the car now but she cried herself to sleep in my backseat." My heart clenched.
"Matti." He spoke as I hummed. "Do me a favor?" He asked.
"Yeah. Anything." I responded.
"I don't know how much everything is going to cost her—" He paused, clearly choking up on the other end. "Dad checks my account so he would wonder why I spent two hundred thousand so can you do me a favor, Sloane has her wallet. If I send you her savings account information—can you put in the money for her. I'll pay you back when we get back to campus." He speaks as I inhale.
"Already on it." I responded.
Even if she had the trust fund set up for her, she deserved to have something nice. She didn't need to spend money on school—she deserved a new life. She can use the money to buy a house, or something for herself. Something to call her own.
I heard Blake clear his throat on the other end of the line, he was audibly upset. I knew seeing her hurt was almost as bad as I was right now. "She'll be okay." I spoke through the phone.
"Will she be? Really though?" He responded.
I couldn't answer that question.
All I know is wherever she would find herself in the future, I would be there.
Naomi Black was the biggest life lesson I had the privilege of learning in the past three months. I was so focused on my future that I didn't even notice that it was right in front of me—and I wasn't talking about football. I had never gotten as lost as I had before in a set of eyes like I had with hers. It always rains the hardest on the people who deserve the sun.
"I'm going to wake her up now and take her in, I'll text you. Okay?" Blake spoke and I cleared my throat, "Yeah. Goodbye," I spoke and pressed the end button.
I hated showing emotion, but she brought out everything in me.
A knock sounded on my door, Nat stood in the doorway. She walked over to me and sat next to me on the bed. We sat in silence with each other for a minute.
"This isn't how you wanted to spend the day of your engagement—now was it?" I joked as she chuckled. "I would do anything for Naomi so it doesn't really bug me." She responded as I nodded.
"Naomi is the best person I could've ever asked to-be in my life. She makes me feel grounded because I know how hard she has to work for everything. She—I, I just can't mentally wrap my head around the idea that she can't catch a break. She really makes everyone's life seem like a damn cake walk." She speaks while staring at my window.
I nod, "Yeah she does, doesn't she." I respond and she slowly nods.
"I texted you her address, however, if you guys need us just call us. Griff and I will drop everything and come over." She insisted as I turned my head and smiled at her.
"She's my little sister. I would do anything for her," She spoke quietly. I turned back to the window and slowly nodded. "I know the feeling." I whispered.
Naomi Black
I walked over to the two who stood in the middle of the waiting room. It was silent, nobody knew what to say first so I decided to speak. "Car accident. Grandpa had a heart attack, grandma was killed on impact." I spoke.
Sloane just stood frozen as Blake just watched me.
I wasn't going to cry.
I couldn't cry—I felt numb.
God, for the second and third time, I didn't get to say goodbye.
For the second and third time—I identified a family member's body.
Blake stepped forward and wrapped me in a huge hug. But I stood unfazed, emotionless like rock. Because that was who I was told I needed to be; a stone cold bitch. I felt his grip tightening as Sloane joined us in our hug.
I just wanted to go back home—to my house, and lay down. I needed to see Mimi.
"Can we please just go?" I ask as they nod. "Is there anything else you need to sign?" Blake asks as I shake my head. If I do, I'll do it later. I had zero motivation for anything at the moment. I just wanted to fucking go home and lay in my bed.
Sloane and Blake pulled back away from me and I started walking towards the exit. The cool air hitting my skin felt so nice. It was like reality wasn't setting in, but every other sense was.
I followed behind the two of them and we walked out of the hospital.
The door opened for the tesla and I closed it myself, not having the patience or time for Blake to shut it for me. I laid back down in the seat and breathed. I felt like I couldn't fucking breathe.
The tesla started up and Sloane started telling him directions to my home.
It wasn't even a home anymore—it would be a place with one single occupant and a cat.
I would have to sell my childhood house, I would have to start my life completely over as if I hadn't already done that.
But it would be okay. Bumps in the road were normal, right?
I just happened to have multiple bumps—craters almost.
Full of potholes.
But I would turn out okay—everything would be okay in the end.
I practiced my breathing in the backseat, reminding myself to not have a panic attack because it was the last thing I needed right now. Let's get real here. My twentieth birthday was this week. I was done with midterms, I was supposed to be thriving.
My grandparents just died, cheers.
Did anyone even tell my dad? Did anyone even call my dad?
My hometown was small—it was small enough where everyone knew everybody and their business. I had the same neighbors growing up as I do now; Stan and Emmy. They were the coolest guys on the block, they always threw the best Fourth of July parties.
We had a high school that averaged sixty people per grade. Total town population was 891.
Welcome to Western Pennsylvania: Where there were more potholes than people.
In the center of our town sat our town diner. It had the best burgers and fries. The best kinds of waitresses too. They always talked shit on people. Growing up I loved living here, but I never really had time to live. I was always working or studying.
I wanted my way out.
But somehow—I couldn't get out of this fucking life style I had no choice but to be born into.
My house was a cute one story house that had an enormous living space but with tiny bedrooms. However, the only good thing to come out of it was the treehouse. It had been my dads when he was younger but my grandpa had fixed it up for me. It had a glass roof so at night I could watch the moon and it's stars.
I could be with mom.
I remember mornings when nobody could find me and I would be up in the treehouse and nights when they thought I would've run away, but I was up there. The first couple weeks after mom died, you couldn't keep me away from that thing.
And now I had to give it up, I had to sell it.
Maybe the next family would be happy to have it, maybe they wouldn't have a technology driven child and they would have someone that would appreciate talking to mom every night as much as I did.
"Naomi—we'll stay for the night. I'll catch a plane to the city tomorrow morning and Blake will drive back. Okay?" Sloane spoke from the passenger seat. I just nodded, not wanting to find my voice.
It was the week of Thanksgiving.
Week when everything was supposed to be family oriented—I didn't want to be alone but I didn't have much choice considering that Matti was heading home, and so was everyone else.
I started twirling my thumbs trying to take my mind off of the fact that I knew that my depression was going to eat me alive until I got back to campus with people that I loved. I wasn't going to do anything dumb, but I was going to lay in bed until my hair was matted.
And then the car came to a stop.
I looked out the window at the familiar house. I felt like I was at home, but that would all change once I walked in that door and came to realize that it was just me now.
I was alone.
"Welcome." I spoke to Blake as he nodded. He opened the tesla doors and stepped out, walking across the pathway to get to my front door. The dead flowers that were once so beautiful in bloom fell into the walkway.
Walking up to the door, I dug into the flowerpot's old soil and grabbed the spare key. I unlocked the door and smelled something. It smelled like grandpa and grandma—it smelled like home. Grandpa's walker collection was to the left of me and Mimi was bouncing across the floors to see me.
I crouched down and picked up my cat.
I felt the tears rush to my eyes—she was probably one of the last things they touched.
I pushed the tears back, Blake told me I needed to be strong.
I turned around to see Blake and Sloane. They nodded at the place, "It's so homey and cute." Sloane commented as I let out a chuckle. "Sorry it's not the whole granite counter tops that you both are used to." I commented back as Blake shook his head.
"This feels a lot more like home than an expensive, cold piece of countertop ever could—actually." Blake spoke in his defense. He took a step towards me with his arms out. I raised my eyebrows.
"What?" I asked the weirdly standing boy.
"Give me the cat?" He asked to reach out for Mimi. I raised my eyebrows and handed her over.
"Sorry, I just thought you were like Matti and didn't like cats." I spoke as he grabbed her and brought her to his buff chest.
He gave me a look as if he were taken back, "He is such a liar. He loves cats." He spoke as I chuckled. "Well. I'm going to take a nap. Help yourselves to whatever." I spoke as I turned on my feet and walked towards my bedroom.
Opening the door, I smiled. It was exactly how I left it.
Full bed in the middle, television at the bottom, bookshelves lining the walls, a record player, my lights hanging, more importantly my window seat with my huge windows.
It wasn't night time yet but it was definitely getting there.
She would be out soon to comfort me.
I walked over to my bed and laid down. Matti's scent hugging me in his clothes. I missed him so much. He made everything better even though he made things worse most of the time.
He was my safe haven at this point.
I laid my head on my pillow.
My door was shut, the lights were off, and I was alone.
So I cried.
I cried for everything I couldn't have but I deserved to have. I cried myself to sleep.
✧
When I woke up, my alarm clock read nine at night. I slowly sat up in bed, I felt how swollen my eyeballs were. I knew I probably was so swollen in the face, but who gives a shit. I stand up from my bed and stretch. I needed a good stretch.
I walk over to the window and smile at the moon, "You take good care of them. You hear me? They have been watching me for a while now," I spoke to mom. I knew there was going to be no response but it didn't hurt to try.
Especially when you have nothing else left to lose.
I turned away from the windows and walked towards my bedroom door. I opened it straight to the living room but nobody was out there.
"Sloane? Blake?" I called out but no response. I walked towards my coach and saw a note that said they went for food, they would be back soon. I nodded towards the note and paused. All by myself now—in a house full of silence because I had no family.
It will be okay.
I walked towards the kitchen and entered. On the fridge were random magnets of me throughout the years. Some of those fuckers are really ugly. The soccer pictures are the worst though.
I was quite the athlete as a little girl growing up.
I opened the fridge and grabbed some water. I was thirsty, I had dehydration from crying out my water supply before I took my nap. I walked over to my couch and sat down. The pictures thrown all over the house brought me back to times I still wish I was in.
My dad and I with the few very little pictures we had when I was a little girl.
My mom and I together—I made my grandparents hang them up.
My school pictures.
I slowly observed and took everything in since it would be off of the walls soon. Where would I even put this stuff? I would either have to sell it or store it somewhere.
I took another sip of my water.
Blake and Sloane had been getting close, but not close in a comparable way to Matti and I or Griff and Nat. They were different. She was clear as day, still repulsed by him, but she tolerated him now.
I took in a huge breath of air.
I was going to be here for the next week or so. I had some things upstairs but I didn't even have a damn phone charger.
I stood up from the couch and walked back into my room in search of clothes. A knock on the door sounded and my body pivoted towards the door. It was nine at night, it was a good chance it was Blake and Sloane—but I grabbed my cane that was next to the door anyways.
I really didn't care about getting attacked at this point, bring it on.
I don't anything else could happen to me that I wouldn't fucking expect at this point.
I unlocked the door and slowly opened it, the door creaking.
I dropped the cane and gasped. It wasn't an intruder coming to rob me and take me throughout the night. It wasn't Blake and Sloane with food ready to feed me.
It was Matti Williams.
He looked at me with concern but he didn't have time to speak to me as I launched myself into his arms. I was being dramatic, I know, but he was the only thing that had a hint of home to me still. I took in a deep breath, the familiarity calming me down.
His arms around me are tight, my neck in his neck, his hands rubbing my back.
"It's gonna be okay." He spoke into my ear. That's when the waterworks were set off.
"I thought you had football." I spoke through tears. He walked into the house, me still in a hug and kicked the door closed. "I had a family emergency." He spoke and I chuckled.
He set me on the ground and used his two hands to wipe the tears from my cheeks. But they just kept falling from my red and swollen eyes. "You don't always cry ugly. But I'd rather you cry ugly this time because this one hurts." He kissed my forehead and I chuckled again.
"Pardon me for not crying in a specific way for you." I spoke. He brought me in for a hug again, this time his huge arms enclosing around my head and neck. "I don't know all that happened but I know some." He said as I groaned.
I sniffled and pulled away from him. He stood and actually took a look at the place.
"Sorry, let me just ring the bell and the maids will come out," I joked as he looked down and squinted his eyes at me. "I'm not that rich." He responded, and I raised my eyebrows.
"Okay—well, maybe," I cut him off with a laugh.
He nodded towards the couch. I walked towards the couch, him holding my hand. I sat on the long end of the sectional. I laid my body down, head against a pillow. He sat down and I put my legs in his lap. He rested his arms on top of my shins.
He always had to be touching me in some way, shape or form. It was his way of showing love.
I cleared my throat.
"What do you know?" I asked. He looked at me and nodded. "Well, I saw you getting carried out of my press conference, nobody but the people on stage noticed. I left the conference as soon as coach ended it to find you. You were gone, and they told me that you were going home. They told me you had to um—" He cut off his words as I nodded for him to continue.
The only way to cope through trauma for me was to talk about it.
"You had to identify bodies, to which I couldn't even imagine getting that phone call NJ. You're the strongest person I know. Blake called me and told me what was going on but..." He led off his sentence and I knew what he was asking.
But for the sake of him and not for me, I reached down to grab his hand and play with his fingers. I didn't dare look up at him but I felt his gaze resting on me.
I took in a breath, "It was my grandparents." I spoke as I felt his body go rigid and cold—I still wasn't looking at him. "They got into a really bad car accident. Um, my grandpa had a heart attack and my grandma died on impact." I spoke with no emotion in my voice.
No emotion unless I had to have it, I had to be a cold bitch.
I felt Matti inhale a huge, deep breath.
"Naomi...wow." He spoke in shock as I nodded, still playing with his fingers. "I couldn't—I don't. Wow, I'm so sorry." He continued as I nodded. The lines in his palms were very interesting at this point.
"You're so strong you know that?" I chuckled at him. "No. Look at me, seriously." He spoke as I looked up at him. He was looking at me with determination and concern. "You are so strong. You have lost everything but you don't seem as if you have." He stated as I raised an eyebrow.
"I don't have my shit together at all, trust me." I responded as he chuckled. "Just think, maybe they're both stars now and your mom can watch over them." He states and I smile. "Yeah, maybe." I spoke.
I didn't like talking about my feelings like this. I had always kept information about my private life private. I was always so ashamed of it. I took a deep breath as I released his palm. "So you left football for me, huh?" I asked as he nodded.
"Yeah. What's the worst that's going to happen anyways?" He joked as I shrugged. "I don't know. My whole family has died off in front of my eyes." I said with dry humor as his face turned into shock.
"NJ, I didn't mean it like that." He defended as I let out a laugh. "I'm just playing Mattison." I reassured him. He stared at me for a split second before grabbing my lower back and legs, completely flipping me opposite so my head was on top of his legs. He reached over and grabbed the pillow to set it under my head.
"What was that for?" I asked, trying to get comfortable again. "Let's talk." He spoke with his fingers, finding my hair, playing with it. I slowly nodded, "About..." I led off as he chuckled.
"I was really bad to you a week ago. Really bad. Your dad has just become on my hit list, NJ. I am so sorry for believing him. I'm sorry for judging you and calling you mean names. I was so wrong. I understand why you did it. I don't think we need to start over, but I just want you to know that I would do anything for you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He spoke in a hushed tone, while looking into my eyes.
His blue eyes captivated me, I was able to get so lost in them.
"Matti, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hid myself from you when you were opening up to me and everything. God, I wish I could take it back. I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I accept your apology, will you accept mine?" I ask as he raises his eyebrows. "You didn't even need to apologize, you know? But yes I accept." He spoke. I smiled up at him.
"And I'm sorry for making you punch my dad." I spoke as he let out a chuckle. "I love you, Black." He spoke looking into my eyes.
I blushed, his fingers still playing with my hair.
"I love you too." I responded back.
"No, I don't think you understand. I'm in love with you and whatever you need, you will get. I will always put my one hundred percent into you, from here on out. Nothing will change this. I love the way you ugly cry, the way you sit looking at your books for hours, the way you brush your teeth like a freak, the way you won't wear your glasses for me, the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh, the way you smile, the way you don't even try for me and I would still think you tried. You are simply the most complicated person I've ever met, but I wouldn't have you any other way, NJ." His hands stopped playing with my hair as he spoke this.
And all of the times that I heard Blake's voice telling me to be a bitch, diminished.
My hands reached up and covered my eyes.
"No. More. Crying." He spoke trying to pull my hands off my face, but I couldn't because they weren't tears of sadness. I was happy. I felt so guilty for being happy, I had lost everything, but he had made it seem that I had gained everything.
I took in a huge breath.
"Quit crying, now come help me with my bags. Since you don't have maids to fetch it." I let out a loud laugh as he chuckled. "Why do you have bags?" I asked as I removed my hands from my face.
"We're spending the holiday together—duh." He spoke as I raised my eyebrows. "Matti—" I spoke in shock but he cut me off. He nodded his head towards me, "Me, you, and that disgusting cat that's giving me the stink eye." He joked as I let out a giggle.
"You're really spending the holiday with me?" I speak as he nods. "Of course, why wouldn't I?" He asks as I look at him as if he were crazy. "You have a family to go home to." I point out.
He smiles at me, "You're right. I do." He speaks looking in my eyes, giving me a creepy look. I raise my eyebrows at him.
"Me, you, and that ugly ass cat that is about to get the boot if it keeps sharpening its claws against that cat tree over there." He continues as I let out a giggle.
"A family, huh?" I teased as he shrugged.
"You and I can relate," I raised my eyebrows. "I would feel almost as lonely as you if I went home right now." He spoke but I didn't question it any further. I knew his parents were a tough subject for him.
But he was right, maybe he and I were alike after all.
We got up from the couch and I watched him as I stood at the doorway, he brought in his bags and mine. The moonlight shining from the sky.
Deep Down, maybe this was supposed to happen. Maybe we were meant to be. Maybe we were living the life that my mom and dad should've lived. Maybe we were doing all of the right things this time.
"Thanks mom," I whispered into the air.
HI HI HI! What's up besties!
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and are some what recovering. Thank you all so much for your support as always.
Sending you all so so many hugs.
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