Jake
I smiled as I cuddle the fluffy penguin Sunghoon got me in the game. My mind travelled back to those scenes where he laughed when he didn't hit the target, how he almost fly when he won the toy and when he looks surprised when I gave him the puppy. All my life of being mute, I began to feel scared of the outdoors and my mom became so strict that I am not to go outside. I also began to fear going outside because I'm scared of people looking at me when they see me do hand signs. I hate the look on their faces and I don't even know why.
My eyes started to feel heavy as I slowly close them as I cuddle the penguin. It feels so comfortable actually. My mind was just occupied by a certain someone who looks like a royalty from a fairy tale story. As I slept, I slept so soundly that night.
I woke up with the feeling of the sun on my face. I look around and I saw the penguin beside me making me smile. Gosh it looks so adorable. I went to the bathroom and freshen up before I open the door of my room but instead of seeing Sunghoon's room in front of me, I saw a different room, my old room to be exact.
My body tensed as memories of that room flashed before my eyes and speaking too soon, I saw myself as a kid opening the door and running outside laughing like crazy as I shout.
"Jackie hurry ! Daddy is gonna get you!"
My voice does sound good. I kinda miss it though, but at the same time, I hate to hear it as it reminds me of those moments.
Tears fell on my face when I saw her emerge from the door as Dad runs after us. Her hair is in a beautiful pony tail, not any hair out of place and her dress is now wrinkled from all the running.
I am speaking loudly some words I don't even understand.
I was watching us when the room vanished and I sobbed when I saw that horrible scene of me and Jackie on the ground, blood is everywhere and a truck is also there. My knees felt weak when I saw how her eyes slowly closed and her body go limp. That event is fresh in my memory, as if it happened yesterday.
Just then, I was again back at the house but this time, I am so silent and there they are again, laughing at me.
I didnt know how I became mute but last thing I heard about that condition is a few weeks after the funeral. They said it's sort of a traumatic event and that I will soon speak.
"You killed her Jake, you did it. You should be punished for that"
They all say that.
I think that's why I lose hope of speaking as every time I open my mouth, they will blame me and remind me over and over again that it was my fault.
My fault on the other hand is actually believing them.
No!
My breathing increased as I saw my young self about to do my worst nightmare but before I saw that, the door opens and I saw a familiar puppy stuff toy. Am I back in the present? I ran inside Sunghoon's room only to see myself standing beside his bed with a knife on my hand.
Why do I see another me?
No this isn't real. ..
Someone wake me up please ..
I saw him.. .
Sunghoon is lying lifeless on his bed with blood all over. My eyes drifted to my left and I screamed as I saw Jay on the ground, the same state as Sunghoon.
Please wake me up!
"YOU KILLED THEM JAKE!!! YOU KILLED THEM!!"
Please wake me up!
"JAKE WAKE UP!"
I felt my body being shaken so hard as voices filled my ears.
My eyes shot open as I look around the room, Sunghoon, Jay and Jungwon are all staring at me. Jay handed me the water which I immediately drank before I started to cry again. I can feel my body shake and I felt so cold that even my blanket can't give me warmth.
I let my body fall on the person who is closer to me which is Sunghoon who with no question wrapped his arms around me. Thank goodness.
I felt safe at some matter and I felt really warm.
I am crying non stop as those images flashes before my eyes.
No .. You're seeing things . they're not real.
I stretch out my hand making Jay hold them and I smiled, they're real. I squeezed Jay's hands.
Sunghoon
I didn't know that the first thing I will hear from Jake are his sobs. It's breaking my heart to pieces.
It was a normal night, Jungwon has gotten better and is not sick anymore while I am cuddling the puppy at this late hour I heard . . . cries?
Oh please don't be a ghost or something. Sunoo? Are you there?
I slowly walk out my room in attempts to go to Jake's just in case there really is a ghost. When I got closer, I heard it, soft cries are coming out his room.
He's crying? And I can hear it. I just don't know if I should be happy that I can hear a sound from him or be panicked that he's crying and probably having a nightmare again.
I open the door and my eyes widen.
His cries are now louder and he's making painful sounds as if someone's hurting him. Sweat is forming on his forehead as tears fall down his face. .
"Jake . . .Jake wake up . . Jake"
I tried to shake him but it's no use as he just became worse and starts to breath unsteadily.
"Jay!! Jay!"
I violently knocked on Jay's door and as it opens with Jungwon still half asleep I ran back to Jake who's already sobbing. Painful sobs that made Jay tear up in an instant.
Jay ran to him as he tried to shake him awake but just like me, Jake didn't wake up.
"JAKE! WAKE UP!"
Jay shouted and thankfully Jake's eyes snap open and it broke me when I saw how fear and sadness filled his eyes so the moment his body fell on mine, I didn't think twice in wrapping my arms around him, pulling him closer as I felt his body shiver. His hands reached out and Jay immediately grab it as he softly plays with his fingers as if telling him that he's here.
After a few minutes, Jake finally calmed down and I released him from my embrace before placing him back on his bed.
"Jake, you feeling alright now?"
Jungwon was first to ask as I am still lost in playing with Jake's hands and Jay went to grab some more water.
Jake slowly nodded as I grab the penguin and hugged it after I release his hands.
He signed something and Jungwon smiled.
"Don't be sorry, we're fine. The important thing is that you're alright now. I really believe that you're much more stronger than them"
Jay came back with some water to which Jake immediately chugged in.
He signed again and Jay looked worriedly at him.
"Are you sure? I mean we can stay"
Then he signed again.
"Ok, just sleep well. Wait, there's this night you didn't have nightmares"
Jake suddenly points at me making me confused before signing again.
"Oh? Well I think he won't mind"
Jungwon let out a small giggle.
OK I'm like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.
"You know I can do anything to make you feel well and comfortable"
Jake nodded and smiled before Jay turn to me.
"Sunghoon, can you stay with Jake tonight?"
My eyes widen after he whispered those words.
"Why can't you?"
I asked and he laughed before turning to Jake who is now sleepy as Jungwon fixed his blanket.
"I think it's for me to know and for you to find out. You want to help Jake? That night he asked you to stay and you did, he slept well Sunghoon and that hasn't happened for like forever. If you just being his company can help him with his nightmares, then . . . -"
"Alright. .. I'll stay with him"
He smiled before signing to Jake and he and Jungwon exited the room.
Jake smiled and so do I as I turn to close the door.
"Will you stay?"
Jake typed and showed me with wide eyes.
I let out a small laugh.
"I can leave if you don't want to. I can stay if you say so"
He slowly nodded before making a room for me and I then slipped inside the blanket.
"I see the penguin is having a great life"
He laughed before I saw his lids slowly giving out.
"Good night Jake"
He smiled before his eyes closed.
I stared at him and I didn't notice how my eyes are also giving up and I finally fall asleep.
I woke up the next morning and I saw Jake still asleep but the change is that, my hands are now holding his and my heart is beating like crazy.
I slowly got up and went to my room to freshen up. I showered and I kind of stayed in the shower for a long time.
Why?
Well, I'm just thinking, how can I feel like this again?
Have I moved on?
I really need to visit Sunoo.
Sunshine, can you hear me? Can you tell me what am I feeling and how am I feeling this and why am I feeling this?
When I eventually walk out the shower, I saw a note on my bed.
"Hey Sunghoon, thank you for staying with me last night. That was my best sleep for as long as I can remember. When I got back, I promise to not let you feel lost about me again. I will tell you what you want to know I promise.
-Jake-
When I got back?
I ran to Jay's room and saw Jungwon
"Where's Jay?"
"Oh.. They left. Jake wants to say goodbye but you're in the shower so he left a note I think."
"Where are they going?"
"I think in Australia? Jay said Jake needs a final consultation"
I went back to my room and sat on my bed as I stared at the note.
"Jake, when you come back.. I promise to also introduce who I am and not just you."
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I plan to publish tomorrow but then my lazy self decided to be productive and so I wrote this chapter. . haha
I hope you like it