It's been months since I haven't physically seen my friends and my family which by the way sucks. I'm the type of person that gets home sick, that's why when I do trips, they're not that very long.
I've definitely made some great friends, rekindled some semi- burnt out ones and I feel very welcome and warm. Aside from the part being lonely all the time when I was so used to being around with so many people all the time, but I keep reminding myself that change is in fact good. This is for my future, I'm ready for this.
As I focus on my studies at Oxford, I still have a job that is stable but isn't always up my ass all the time which I actually really like. Although I am filming a movie, technically I'll be in the movie for 30 minutes of it with a few lines but you know, it's another really big thing.
"What are we doing today?" I picked up my macbook from middle of my bed, and sighed "I've got plans, what about you dudes?"
Z, Lili, Mads and I all facetime so much more than usual, now that we can't hang out on demand anymore, but we could if we wanted to but it's really a hassle with jet lag.
"Oh plans? Didn't know we were having plans" Mads moved over the camera toward Lili, they were filming new episode for their new show. Lili looked at Mads with that face that screams "tea". Zendaya was caught up prepping her lines for a Spiderman film but that definitely caught her attention "Uh, excuse me? Who are we having plans with?" Z's hand touched her chest as her head moved backwards
I rolled my eyes at my friends while I strutted in the mirror of my closet "Just a friend"
"A friend that you have to wear your special occasion- meeting an important person- special occasion earrings for?" I hated it when they do that, repeat things as if I'm going to jinx my hangout "You know him, y'all relax" I shoved my face closer to the camera so they can all see me narrow my eyes at them
They squealed "HE?!!!!"
"Oh gosh" Face in my palm, at the same time laughing at how extra my friends are being right now. It's not even a big deal, I've hung out with him before, like, twice...
They all started talking at once forgetting that I was actually there with them. But I couldn't even bother butting in, I'd be cruel to ruin my best friend's fantasies and plus it's nice to hear something old but new.
Since it was beginning to be a little bit colder, I put on an oversized plaid trucker jacket from Good American, the leather jeans I borrowed from Kylie but never gave back, surprised it fits me considering I'm 5'11.. I brought pieces of home with me, without anyone noticing, is 't that just great?!
"S.S are you there?" I had left my door unlocked for him to be able to let himself in without me having to come down stairs and then back up because I'm not particularly ready
"IS THAT-" Before my friends could even finish their sentences I shut my laptop, turned my gaze at the man that stood tall with a beautiful and pure smile.
"Hey, you caught me in a good time" I got up showing him every angle, his face nodding and smiling, often chuckling at the way my eyebrows would move "I love it! Sporting that awesome jacket" He's only saying it's awesome after he'd told me he accidentally placed it on my chair at the fashion show last year, I apparently took it home. I swear this was a gift from Lovey, those "i was just thinking about you" presents.
"You're lacking any form of proof here Mr. Riddle" I rose one brow higher than the other, as he burst out in laughter.
I had absolutely no idea where he was taking us but I was honestly up for whatever, after basically being a lonely sad sack of mixed American in such a beautiful foreign country. Gosh, I hope it's not too late for me to develop an accent!
I might've stopped the conversation with my friends but they sure haven't stopped it with me! I love them and I most certainly miss them, it makes me nauseous! I miss them like crazy, I don't know if I can take this any longer, my homebody wants to be at home, not this new one but the one back in L.A.
"You got any idea where I'm taking you" just hearing that made me grow a smile "What?" He turned his gaze toward me for a moment before darting it back on the road
"Nothing" I smiled again
"That was not nothing"
I rolled my eyes at him with a smile that can't seem to leave me alone "I just, I don't know. I feel good every time you drag my ass out of the house, well, some times you kind of demand it but I always end up having thee most amazing time ever" I tried to be discrete
He then chuckled "It's because of me" The beautiful eyed man nodded "It is because of you"
"There's that smile that blinded me the first time we met" Another pause "At the fashion show where you stole my free coat"
"It's actually a trucker jacket, must've mistaken it for something else" I scrunched up my nose, having to share a laugh.
Moving to a completely different country is one of the hardest things I had to ever do. I'm a creature of habit, I like being comfortable in my home and in my little space, I'd change how it looks sometimes but nothing too extreme like this! I guess, this is for the best, as situations aren't looking too bright right now but, I'll be home in two weeks for mommy's gender reveal! I'm very excited, only Kylie knows the gender, she's got her lips sealed better than any of us!
As we arrived, my eyes lit up, it's simple and I've never been here, considering I've been to London so many times. "I've never been" I looked back at him, he smiled brightly, he smiled back "I figured" that accent with that smile and those eyes? Something in my gut is just dying to be let out!
"Well come on, let's go" He pulled me out the passenger seat, hand over my shoulder and whispered "Hope you're not afraid of heights" We laughed, as we came closer
"I mean, you're very tall but not at all scary" I joked, it was funny, to me at least but he didn't agree with me at all, yet he still chose to laugh, not because of how hilarious that was (to me) but because he found it funny that I thought it was. Which, is.
We enjoyed cotton candy on the ride, which took longer than expected. This private conversation, with the view of the beautiful city of London. This is different, and I'm not looking for a relationship but this feels nice, to be with somebody new, for once. Yet, I still can't take my mind off of Devin, what he's doing and who's he doing things with. As an ex I shouldn't wonder about his whereabouts this much but as a friend and as someone who deeply cares for him, it's natural but to be doing it all the time, kind of unhealthy. I'm still trying to balance our kind of relationship.
"Hey" I picked up the call, he laughed "Late night shower?" I rolled my eyes "I was out okay, I went sight seeing and you know how I am"
He cut me off "You feel gross right after, that's why you don't let me kiss you after hanging out" Devin laughed again
I popped my head back up in the camera, showing how I rolled my eyes "Don't roll 'em too hard or you'll never find 'em"
"You are so funny" my valley girl voice emerged, causing the both of us to lose ourselves in laughter
We talk, a lot. It's normal, because even if after the two years we've spent as a couple no longer is in existence, the great friendship we had then, we still have now. It's important to me that I don't end all of my relationships in bad terms. Fai, we worked things out in the end despite his drunken thoughts. I feel bad, still he chose friendship because I did too and that understanding, is key.
"When are you coming home?" I slipped into an oversized shirt, released the towel off of my head and brushed "Nip slip"
"Been there, done that, nothing new"
I repeated, it was totally an accident, I feel weird about it but I know I shouldn't, but I do
He chuckled "100%"
"I'll be arriving on the 7th at 8ish in the morning maybe earlier, I'm not really sure but estimated" I remembered how horrible plane timing is, private or not, shit still runs very slow.
"Just text me the time you leave and I'll just come 14 hours later" He computed, he's smart.
I'm surprising my parents by coming earlier than I said. I'm home sick, I can't stand being away from the people I love. I sacrificed, and I'm taking every opportunity I get to fly home. No exams, no homework, just break.
"Wow we love a mathematician"
"Wait" He paused, I sat in bed, turned on the tv to begin my Disney+ binge, "yeah"
"Is that my shirt you're wearing?" I looked down and laughed hysterically, without even noticing, I did put on Devin's shirt "I've been looking for that"
"I- I- I did take it from your closet, at one point. To be petty for not telling me you had a game in L.A"
"That was like months and months ago" Devin protested, I laughed even harder "It was a year ago actually"
"I- I thought I left it at a hotel or something. I'm gonna need that back Say"
I shook my head "fly out because I'm not bringing it home with me"