~Harry~
The sky was just as dark as the thoughts wandering through his mind as he drove his car aimlessly down the quiet street. The slight afterglow of the moon illuminating the road caught his gaze as he drove in silence. He couldn't help but stare at it for a moment, before it suddenly came crashing into him.
When he thought about Marley, all he saw was light. He used to believe that he hated the way she always seemed to see the world, like it was this great and wonderful place full of love and happiness. He would always see her as the sun that peaked through the clouds after a terrible storm, trying to bring back all the colorful things the world had to offer and at the time wanted nothing to do with it. He hated that someone could be so oblivious to the horrors of the real world.
But as he came face to face with the moon sitting so brightly in the sky, he realized that he had been wrong. Because while the sun allowed for all the things to be seen in extraordinary amounts of light, showcasing the colorful and meaningful world around us - without the moon, everything would simply crumble at the seams. Without the moon, the world would be so dark, so terrifying... that even the evilest of evils wouldn't survive.
Marley was the moon.
Something so powerful - yet so beautiful - that her glow effortlessly brightened the darkest parts of himself, allowing it to finally see the light.
She was able to bring light to his biggest regrets, trembling worries and most terrifying traumas, all while not trying to change a thing. She was simply there with him, being the one thing that kept him away from the suffocating clutches of his deepest nightmares. She didn't try to blind him with the optimistic hopes that everything would be okay. All she did was comfort him, giving him the time to allow the darkest parts of himself to never be completely alone... like they had always been.
He looked down at his hands, hating the way he wasn't sure if the small amount of dried blood left on them were his own or not. He gripped the steering wheel harder, his foot stepping down onto the accelerator as the car sped up so quickly his body jerked back.
When he pulled up to the pub, he wasn't sure how he had gotten there. His mind had been spinning so quickly, it seemed as though all time was lost until the fluorescent lights of Pub 132 flashed so brightly in his face he had to squint his eyes.
He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair as he sighed. It felt as though a weight was sitting on his chest, like he had single handedly managed to ruin everything good he had in his life. Because he felt as though as soon as the girl had found out what his night consisted of, she would be terrified of him.
He leaned his head back against the seat, exhaling deeply as he rubbed his right knuckles in the palm of his left hand, trying to get any trance of the night off that the water couldn't wash away. Unfortunately for him, the aggressive motions only made it more noticeable as they were now bright red. So he just sighed loudly as he ran his fingers through his hair and ventured inside the shitty pub.
When he walked in, he was overwhelmed by the smell of intoxicated bodies sweating all over one another as the music echoed through his ears. He inhaled deeply at the smell, wanting nothing more than a sip of beer. Then hopefully another... and another.
He walked over to the bar, not even bothering to find Louis as his feet led him to the long, wooden table that had a wall behind it lined with everything he had been needing at that very moment. The bartender noticed his presence instantly, smiling at him as he made his way over to him.
"What can I get you kid?" He asked, nodding his head after he checked the ID that Harry had slapped onto the counter.
He was about to open his mouth to speak until he heard the familiar laugh ring through his ears.
He turned his head quickly, looking down at the two sitting at a booth to the left of the bar. As soon as he saw her, every single ounce of self pity had left his body completely. He was consumed with a warm feeling spreading through his veins as a smile made its way onto his face at the sight of the girl. Her hair was down, a small headband pulling the hair out of her face as some loose waves she pulled out fell over her shoulder. She was laughing loudly, the smile on her face mirrored his own as she talked to a girl with blonde hair that he had never seen before.
She looked as though she was enjoying herself, that was until he took a closer look at her gestures. To the girl across from, Marley seemed to be enjoying herself. She had a smile on her face and the laugh that came out of her sounded genuine. But once she stopped laughing, it was clear to him the smile was fake. Her pointer finger and her thumb were tapping together rapidly, as the other hand began playing with the same piece of hair that had been falling off her shoulder.
The girl across from her took a sip of her drink, causing Marley to take one of her water as her eyes roamed the small pub. He could tell she was uncomfortable, her guard being up as she carefully looked behind her and to her side. His heart stopped when her eyes connected with his.
Now there's her smile.
She placed her drink down instantly, turning her head back towards the girl as she excused herself. She was next to him in a second, the smile on her face so wide that Harry's couldn't help but grow along with hers.
"Hey," she said softly, running her fingers through her hair as she looked at her surroundings once more. "How'd it go?"
He shook his head, gesturing down to his hand as her eyes followed his. He could hear her gasp over the music, her body being so close to his he could every breath she took. She looked back up at him before he felt her finger slowly trace the palm of his hand until her fingers intertwined with his.
He reacted instantly, his fingers curling around hers as he looked at her bright blue eyes. She gave him a small smile as her eyes held nothing short of understanding as she traced her thumb slowly against his skin. She parted her lips slightly, exhaling deeply through them as she asked, "Do you want to leave?"
He smiled at her as she looked up at him, her thumb still drawing small patterns on his hand as he nodded. She stood on her tip toes and placed a kiss on his cheek, the small patch of skin feeling as though it was ignited with a spark when her lips fell softly upon it.
"Let's go," she said, leading the two towards the door before she turned around quickly as she spoke. "Let me just go tell Louis and Vicky, I'm gonna leave them some money so they can catch a cab home."
"Did you drive them," he asked, his hand never letting go of hers as she went to walk away.
She laughed when he pulled her back towards him, turning her body to face his as she said, "No. But I had a feeling I would be leaving early with you, so Luke drove us and I told them we would just fetch a ride home."
He nodded his head as he let go of her hand, allowing her to find Louis as he watched from the door. She knew where Louis was instantly, finding him in a second as she leaned onto her toes and whispered something into his ear. Louis' eyes scanned the bar for a moment before he looked over at Harry. His eyes held pity as Harry simply shrugged his shoulders, knowing for a fact he would be telling him about it later.
She handed him some money from her pocket as Louis smiled widely at her, he pulled her into a hug as he kissed her cheeks, laughing loudly as she tried to pry him off her. Harry chuckled to himself at the interaction, almost being able to hear the laugh leaving her lips as she wiped her cheek off. She walked back over to him with a smile on her face, shaking her head as he smiled back at her.
"I'm just going to say goodbye to Alice," she said, pointing to the girl who had been sitting with her when he got there before she turned to him with wide eyes. "She's from the states."
He laughed loudly as he watched her walk over to the girl with a smile on his face, shaking his head as a few last chuckles escaped his lips. He watched in amazement at the fact that she could make friends with anyone she had met, no matter how long the interaction was.
It was so weird to him that not even ten minutes ago, he could feel himself spiraling down the way he had always done. But then it occurred to him that this was now the second time that the girl seemingly changed his entire mood with just one look. But then again he wasn't really surprised; because lately, every time he saw her... all the darkness would slowly start fading away.
~
They pulled up to the lookout point like it was second nature. Neither of them saying a word as he stopped the car and opened the door. She followed behind without another word, the two sitting side by side as their feet dangled off of the cliff, their shoulder brushing against one another as he knocked his against hers playfully.
They sat quietly for a moment, both of them simply staring off into the horizon as the waves softly crashed on the shore below them. There was a small scatter in the field behind them, the sound of the trees softly swaying in the wind as he closed his eyes for a second, taking in the way the gentle breeze of the summer air consumed the two.
"Do you want to talk about what happened with Dean tonight," she finally asked, breaking the silence that they sat in as he opened his eyes.
He turned his head to look at her, watching the way her hair flew freely in the wind. She never turned her head towards him, her eyes staring out to the bank in front of them as he asked, "Are you sure you want to know?"
"Not if you don't want to tell me."
She turned to look at him after the soft words escaped her pouty lips, her eyes bright as his heart leaped. He admired the way she always knew exactly what to say, like she had known whatever it was he needed to hear at any given time.
But then his body ran cold, the fear that she would leave him came flooding through his body as he looked down at his lap. He inhaled deeply through his nose, trying to find the courage to speak before her voice filled the air, causing his head to snap up.
"Either way I'm proud of you," she said, her words held with such truth that he had a hard time believing she could be speaking them to him.
"What?" He asked, speaking his thoughts aloud as she simply nodded her head.
"But it hurts knowing how much pain you're putting yourself through. I know you don't believe that you've changed or that you deserve so much more than the life you have been given, but believe me when I say this," she turned her body towards him, giving him her full attention as she spoke. "You are so much more than what you give yourself credit for."
"How can you say that after everything I did to you, blue?"
She sighed for a moment, running her fingers through her hair before she grabbed his hand in hers, "We both did and said some pretty horrible things to each other Harry, that doesn't mean you're a bad person."
"I almost fucking killed a guy today, Marley," he snapped, his head shaking as he ran his fingers through his hair, lifting the back of his hand up to show her his fist. "Do you see this? This is what Dean does to me."
"Harry-" she said, but was cut off by his voice once more.
"I'm not a good guy, Marley. Maybe Dean was right, maybe they were all right because let's face the facts. I will never be anything more than just a fucked kid with a shitty childhood."
He closed his eyes once more at his outburst, his heart beating so loud he could hear it echoing through his ears.
"Do you wanna know what I see," she finally asked after his breathing returned to normal.
He looked back at her silently, not needed to speak as she looked into his eyes and nodded. "I see the strongest person I will ever know. You have been through so much, been through something that no one should ever have to go through yet here you are. You carry all this guilt that shouldn't have fallen on you because like you said, you were just a kid. You were a kid, Harry. Do you get that? How could have possibly known any better when the people who were supposed to love unconditionally didn't? It isn't your fault, none of it. Not what happened to your mum, to your sister, especially not what happened to you. But it breaks me watching you go through all of this."
He didn't say anything for a moment, letting her words sink into the core as he finally looked into her eyes. She had tears in them, one falling down onto her cheek as he raised his hand up to wipe it away. It broke his heart seeing her cry, especially knowing he was the reason why.
"I couldn't stop," he said softly, letting his hand fall down the side of arm and grabbing her hand in his. "He was holding him in front of me and I just lost it. I saw red. I couldn't stop thinking about what Dean could do to you and then the next thing I know, he was pulling me off of that guy with a smile on his face."
"Fuck Harry," she said, moving her body closer to his as she held his hand in her lap. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. This isn't fair to you."
"It's not fair to you either," he said slowly. "You didn't ask for any of this... you don't deserve this, blue."
"Then how come it's okay for you to believe that you do?"
"It's different Marley," he said as he shook his head, his body returning back to the original position as he stared out at the water.
She shook her head, placing her hand onto his knee as she said, "But it's not, Harry."
Maybe it was because he had felt so strongly about the girl to his right or maybe it was because he was just so emotionally drained from the day's events that he couldn't even think straight. But whatever the reason, he couldn't stop the small tears that made their way to the surface as he turned to look back at her.
"Do you remember when you told me that if I took every single thing I feel about you, it wouldn't even begin to compare to how you feel about me? How nothing could hurt you the way that seeing me hurt would?"
He nodded his head, patiently waiting for her to continue as she placed both of her hands on top of his, "Well seeing you believe that you're not good enough completely breaks me."
For some reason, her saying that made a smile form onto his face. He had always wondered if she could ever feel the same way about him that he felt about her. How just the sight of her sent him into an instant state of pure bliss, how he felt as though something was missing until she was standing right by his side. And once those words left her lips, that was all it took for him to realize that she had cared about him just as much as he cared about her.
"I just want to be good enough for you," he whispered, his entire body leaning closer to her without even realizing it.
She smiled at his words, his body feeling warm as she shook her head lightly before she whispered, "But you already are, baby."
Her lips ghosted over his and the action alone sent a chill down his spine. In an instant he closed the gap between the two, his hand quickly finding its way into her hair as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He wasted no time before he deepened the kiss, grabbing her by her legs and pulling her over his lap. She gasped at the moments before they fell into sync with one another.
She grinded her hips down onto his, moving them slowly over the fabric of his jeans that was becoming tighter by the second. It was as if something took over because at that very moment all he wanted was to feel her around him. To hear her moaning his name softly into his ear like he had been thinking about ever since that night. He just wanted to make her feel good, to make her feel the same way he had constantly felt every time he was with her.
He slipped his hand down the back of her neck, his fingers getting lost in her brown waves as she moaned into his mouth. Slowly, he brought his hand down from being woven into her hair and to the small curvature of her back, circling his pointer finger over the fabric of the shirt.
She slowed her hips down, grinding over him at a teasingly slow pace as she pulled apart from him slightly, keeping his bottom lip in between her teeth before running her tongue over the metal of his lip ring. He moaned in response, quickly bringing his hand down to her ass and pulling her back over his lap, guiding her body down onto him as the friction of their bodies almost became too much for him to bear.
He brought his face closer to hers as he attached their lips together again, his head feeling fuzzy when she began to suck slowly on the ring that was clung to his bottom lip. He kissed her feverishly, loving the way she effortlessly allowed his tongue to lap circles around hers as her fingers toyed with the small curls at the base of his neck.
He pulled apart from her, his eyes going straight towards her now swollen lip that held a small smile onto them.
"It's gonna storm tonight," he said, his words labored as he tried to catch his breath, only for it to be lost once again when he looked into her eyes.
She smirked at his words, biting her lip as both of them knew for a fact it wasn't supposed to rain again for weeks. He brought his hand up to her mouth, his thumb tracing over her lip as he pulled the flesh out of between her teeth before she spoke.
"We should probably go home then."
He chuckled at her words before bringing his lips back onto hers, wanting for them to stay in the small corner of the world for just a little bit longer. He wanted to see just how beautiful she was in the moon's glow, knowing with everything inside of him that he will be never able to find the words to describe the way he felt about her other than four.
Marley was the moon.
~
Hi guys, I just wanted to say that your constant love and support honestly means the world. I will never be able to truly thank you guys enough for reading Strawberries and Cigarettes. 85,000 reads. I can't even wrap my brain around it... you guys are so incredible. I love you all times a million <33
Question: Are we liking the quicker yet shorter updates or would you rather wait for longer ones?
Thoughts on the story so far??
~ Lizzy :)