Fuck up
A long, painful silence stretched on as I watched the man in front of me in disbelief, the paper I was holding burning the tips of my fingers. Seeing that he wasn't replying I slowly turned back around to pick up the other papers, looking over them with my stomach in a painful knot.
''Chaeyoung please, don't-''
''All these...'' I muttered under my nose, gaping at the tens of documents all around me, ''they're all about me...'' I looked at the paper which was numbered one. All the basic information about me was written down one after another. My full name, my age, my original address, my parents' names, even my fricking blood type. Turning my eyes away from it, they landed on the one just next to it, this one was numbered five. It had all the information about my previous education, my grades, and my report cards.
Standing up from the ground I turned back to him.
''What's all this?'' I questioned in a hoarse whisper, ''why do you have all this?'' sighing, Taehyung rubbed his face, looking down to the ground.
''I got them today.''
''Why?'' looking back down at the papers in my hands, my heart jumped in my throat as I ran my eyes over the page numbered three. The one I picked up first. The one that had everything about my parents written down. Their late families, their jobs, their health statuses, their death...
Looking back up to him, Taehyung was silent, the guilt never leaving his features.
''Taehyung, why do you have these?'' I was raising my voice right now but I couldn't help it.
As far as I knew, no one had ever mentioned to me that the king checked our backgrounds. The girls would have told me, right? Does this mean he knows everything now? Everything from A to Z about me?
It's not like I had anything to hide but... was this really necessary?
''I wanted to...know some stuff,'' I scoffed quietly at that, watching him in disbelief.
''Why didn't you ask me then?'' Taehyung took a deep breath in, not looking at me. Clenching my jaw I threw the papers to the ground, ''so what now, you basically know everything about me there is to know?'' at this he shook his head quickly, looking at me with widened eyes but I didn't let him talk, ''you went ahead and got all this information about me without my consent, without just asking me about it.''
''Sweeth-''
''No,'' I interrupted him sternly, my fists clenching by my sides, ''I thought we were getting somewhere.'' I said now quietly, Taehyung's eyes softening at the little falter in my voice. He took a step closer but I stepped back, shaking my head, ''Don't, it's okay. I was simply getting way ahead of myself,'' I uttered bitterly.
''Chaeyoung please, I know you're upset but listen to me-''
''No, I'm sorry I just...'' I sighed running my palms up my face, brushing my hair back, ''if you don't mind I want to be alone for now. I have a lot on my mind and I am not in a good position to talk about this right now.'' with that I walked around him to leave the room but suddenly I stopped in my tracks, my fists grabbing onto my dress tightly.
Might as well drop the bomb now.
Turning back around I looked up at him. Taehyung was already watching me, his eyes searching me hopefully.
''During these past two months,'' I started, quietly, watching him, ''I've been meeting up with Jungkook. I went to the festival with him and I was supposed to be with him tonight as well.'' my throat clogged painfully as I watched his eyes fog over with hurt, his posture slumped as he looked away from me, gulping.
The pain in his eyes tugged at my chest uncontrollably but right now, I couldn't bring myself to ponder about it too much, or else I might have just exploded on the spot.
Looking back at me, his eyes were dull now, the pain hidden but he was still visibly upset. He nodded stiffly.
''I understand that. It was unreasonable what I did to you and I shouldn't have forbidden you to meet up with him in the first place,'' I looked away, my eyes glossing over, ''you're free to see him whenever you want. I won't be in your way anymore.''
Nodding, I couldn't bring myself to utter another word. I ran out of the chamber, grabbing on my throat as I felt myself getting choked up by the sobs I was holding in. Finally, at a safe distance, I crouched down to the ground, hiding my face in my knees as I sobbed loudly.
I was exhausted. This past week everything's just been bubbling up inside me, all the pent-up frustration and pain. My parents, the pharmacy back home, the stress of Taehyung finding out, and now this. I didn't want to feel anymore. I was spent, I was done. I just wanted to rest finally, go back home to Jungkook...to my parents.
This wasn't fair.
3. person
Taehyung watched as the heavy door shut behind her, leaving him alone, feeling like thousands of bricks dropped down on his chest. Heaving a shaky breath he ran his fingers along his hair before tugging at it harshly, a deep resonating growl rippling through his throat.
''Fucking hell!'' the few papers that were left on the table went flying to the ground, soon followed by the table itself. Breathing heavily he slumped down on his chair, hiding his face in his palms.
It seemed like no matter how much he tried, he kept messing up. And he was fucking furious with himself.
''I heard you called for me your Majesty.''
''Nam Sungho, yes indeed I did, I'm glad you could make it.''
''It is not so often you ask for my assistance lately, once I heard you need my services I came as soon as I could.'' Taehyung nodded at the old man dressed smartly in front of him, however, his eyes were absent, his thoughts running all around.
There was this frustrating tug at his chest, telling him not to do this. To just leave it be. But he didn't understand the feeling, and so he ignored it.
''What can I do for you then, your Majesty?'' snapping back to reality he looked at the man in front of him.
''I need you to do a background check on one of my brides. I want a full report.''
''Yes your Majesty, that wouldn't be a problem, I just need her name and birthplace.''
''Park Chaeyoung. Clawsen from Hangar.'' nodding the man smiled at Taehyung cheerfully.
''I will get on it right now, your Majesty.'' but all Taehyung managed to do was a nod of acknowledgment.
He felt sick to his stomach for some reason and the anxiety in his chest made him irked.
It's been ten minutes now that he's been sitting in silence, watching the file in front of him with a scowl.
Somehow, he didn't want to open it. Just touching the godforsaken papers made his skin crawl.
But he couldn't understand himself. Why was he feeling like this?
It's not the first time he's done this, he did a background check on at least half of the girls, including even Juhyun. So what made this time so different?
Why did this feel so fucking wrong it made him want to burn the papers?
He knew Chaeyoung was different, but this was getting ridiculous. He was the fucking emperor, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted. This was nothing but a simple background check. And yet he felt bile rising up his throat as he read the words at the front of the file.
Park Chaeyoung
Full report.
Sighing he rubbed his forehead, exhausted. He would just run through it quickly. No matter how much he despised this, he still wanted to know about her parents.
Gulping he skimmed over the file quickly, making sure none of the words actually got to his head, only focusing on one word: parents.
Finally, on page number three he found them, sighing in relief. Pushing the other papers away from him, he leaned his forehead against his palm, reading.
And fuck, he thought he was going to throw up. With each sentence, it got more and more difficult to read on, his stomach clenching painfully.
''Five days after the attack, Park Chaeyoung moved in with Jeon Jungkook, her friend from the village, whose parents died in the attack as well. Reportedly they've been living together ever since, together with the help of Lee Gyunghui, today a 74 years old woman who lives one house down from them. 21 days after the attack, Park Caheyoung's mother was found dead by the village gate.''
''For fuck's sake,'' cursed Taehyung to himself, burrowing his face in his palms.
He was such a fuck up.
''I do not care Chaeyoung, you are not allowed to meet up with him anymore.''
''B-but it is allowed to meet up with our friends and families, isn't it?''
''But Jungkook...he-''
''Chaeyoung, do not make me angry.''
''Y-you don't understand...please-he-he's someone really close-''
''Your brother?''
''No...''
''Cousin?''
''No, but-''
''Then I don't want to hear it.''
''Please! I-''
''Chaeyoung!''
With a heavy heart, he lied down in his bed, his arm over his eyes.
He should have listened to her, he shouldn't have been the unreasonable prick he was.
Now that he knew what happened, it was obvious to him why she was so heartbroken when he forbid her to meet him. He was obviously someone very close, he was one of the few people she got left.
Yet, back then, blinded with jealousy, he did not want to hear her reasons. He didn't want her explaining how much some other guy meant to her. And now, his ignorance paid back.
Taking a deep breath he looked up at the ceiling, clenching his jaw.
He didn't blame her for going behind his back, but he couldn't deny the painful tug at his heart just thinking about it. But he had no right feeling sorry for himself. He called this upon himself.
He looked down at the papers scattered around the ground, eyes glossed over with regret.
And now this. Now he had to be stupid enough to do this to her. Pry around in her personal life without her knowing, all while things went so well. But he messed up. Like always.
Shaking his head he ruffled his already messy hair, taking in a deep breath while trying to compose himself.
He needed to fix this. He wasn't giving up on her, God knows Taehyung couldn't stand a day without being next to her.
He needed her and he wanted her. And he always gets what he wants.
The next day
''The moment I see him I will wring his fucking neck and hang his head on one of the willows over there,'' seethed Jisoo, clenching her fists on her sides.
''Oh come on Jisoo, that's just-''
''And don't you fucking try to defend him or your head will end up next to his,'' Seokjin closed his mouth shut, looking away from the scary girl immediately.
The two stood near the palace wall, watching the sorrowful sight that Chaeyoung was, sitting in the summer house by herself with her head on the table, eyes dull as she looked ahead at nothing in particular.
Earlier in the morning, after seeing the state she was in, the two forced her to tell them what was wrong.
And once she did, Jisoo couldn't help but turn into a ball of rage as she spat one curse after another, all of them directed to the king. And while she thought of all the ways she could end the man's life, Seokjin next to her couldn't help but feel torn.
He was disappointed in Taehyung. Chaeyoung had enough on her plate as it was. And from what he knew, the two were getting very close lately. He didn't know what possessed Taehyung to suddenly get a background check on her.
But on the other hand, he knew Taehyung must have been very confused himself. Background checks were something the two dealt with on daily basis, Taehyung used to get them on the brides as well, whenever he wanted to be sure of something. Hell, he even did a background check on Seokjin earlier in the days. So Seokjin can only imagine how confusing it must be for Taehyung to have Chaeyoung react this way.
Saying that Taehyung wasn't good with feelings would be an understatement.
''Just look at her! She looks like she's gonna cry any moment!'' raged Jisoo next to him, making him sigh. Glancing at Chaeyoung from across the yard, he felt sorry for her. The girl must be crushed after everything.
''Let her be, she needs to be alone for now.''
''But Jin-'' rolling his eyes he turned towards Jisoo, taking her by her shoulders, making the girl look up at him with widened eyes.
''Jisoo, I know you're worried but this is something they need to sort out on their own. I'm more than sure Taehyung will come running to her in a few days.'' looking up at him Jisoo sighed, nodding.
''Yeah, okay, you're right.''
''You and the girls were planning to organize a little birthday party for tomorrow no? The most we can do is try to cheer her up with that.'' Jisoo nodded, looking down.
''I will do my best,'' smiling down at the girl, Seokjin bit his lip, thinking.
Should he? To hell with it.
Coming closer he leaned down, planting a soft kiss on Jisoo's forehead. Startled, the girl stared at his chest silently, blushing. Once he pulled back, she looked up at him dumbfounded, reaching up to touch her forehead.
''I will go now, take care,'' and with a sly wink, Seokjin walked away, leaving the flustered girl alone, staring at his retrieving back.
Later that afternoon, Seokjin walked along the fourth floor, heading for one specific room. He knew Taehyung would be most likely there right now, either drinking away or just simply wallowing in his pitiful state.
And he wasn't wrong. Once he entered, he immediately noticed Taehyung sitting by the bar, gulping down a shot.
The room was quite small in comparison to other rooms on this floor. It gave off a homely feeling with the wooden furniture, brown carpet, and black leather couches on the side. In the middle, there was a bar with shelves lined up with alcohol behind it. On the left side by the couches, there was a smaller library filled with old dusty books.
No one besides the two of them used this room. They usually came here to spend their free time or think about stuff in serenity.
''You fucked up,'' was the first thing Seokjin said as he approached the younger before sitting on the stool next to him. Taehyung only rolled his eyes, not looking his way.
Sighing, Seokjin slumped his shoulders, looking around the quiet room. Noticing the folded paper on the bar beside Taehyung, he quirked up his eyebrow, glancing at the younger.
''What's that?'' Taehyung looked at the paper before turning to Seokjin, silent.
''Is that from Chaeyoung's report?'' at that, he could see Taehyung's jaw clench before he shook his head, placing down the shot cup.
''It's for you,'' he muttered quietly before sliding the paper Seokjin's way without sparing him a single glance.
Surprised, Seokjin took the paper slowly before unfolding it, his heart stopping in his chest as he read the words.
''Taehyung...''
''Jisoo is officially free from her bride responsibilities,'' Seokjin was speechless, running his eyes through the paper in disbelief, ''technically, she will still be a bride, I cannot take the position from her fully as that would cause havoc, not only among the other girls but around the whole palace as well. At least not yet. But I will no longer consider her my bride. There will be the next bride fest in two months. Then I can make the claim that to get a new bride, I want to free one as well.'' this time Taehyung looked at Seokjin, his expression blank, ''she just needs to sign it.'' Seokjin looked up at Taehyung, perplexed.
''Why so suddenly?''
''This paper won't change much. It's been a long time since I stopped considering her as one of my brides. It's obvious you two belong together, and I'm not going to stand in your way. I've been meaning to do this for a long time, but you always seemed to avoid the topic,'' at that Seokjin bowed his head, sighing.
''I knew she would be the first bride to ever be freed. I didn't think you would do this.'' there was a silence as Taehyung watched Seokjin closely.
''You think I would keep her here against her will when I can clearly see you two love each other? You're like my brother, hyung. What makes you think I would be that cruel?''
''I'm sorry,'' Seokjin muttered quietly, still bowing his head. Rolling his eyes, Taehyung pushed the bottle of liquor towards him. Seokjin grabbed it immediately, taking a big gulp.
''But you know,'' started Seokjin, wiping his lips with his sleeve, ''you didn't have to say that stuff about her that day.'' Taehyung frowned, thinking about what the older meant when he suddenly remembered.
''You know, I'm sure she wouldn't mind if we shared her.''
Cringing at the memory, Taehyung rubbed the back of his neck.
''I know. I was trying to rile you up so you finally break and speak up about it. But you're right, it was uncalled for. I'm sorry.'' nodding Seokjin looked up at Taehyung, spreading his arms with a grin.
''So, we good now?'' as much as the younger tried to hide it, Seokjin could clearly see the corners of his lips quirking up.
''Yeah, we're good,'' he went in for the hug, patting his friend's shoulder. However, as he was about to pull away, Seokjin held him tight still, making Taehyung groan.
''Hyung, come on, let go,'' when he finally freed himself he looked at his hyung annoyedly only to get a smack on his head in response.
''Hey, what the-''
''That's for what you did to Chae you little bastard,'' sighing, Taehyung slumped back down on the stool, leaning his elbow against the bar tiredly, ''you really did fuck up.'' scowling, he looked at the older.
''Yeah, I know, thanks for reminding me. Again.'' he grumbled, leaning his head against his palm.
''Why did you do it?'' poking the inside of his cheek, Taehyung looked at the wooden bar in front of him.
''I wanted to know about her parents,'' he said truthfully.
''Why didn't you talk to her about it?'' sighing, Taehyung ran his palms up his face before pushing his hair back, the repetitive action causing the hair to stay back, revealing his forehead.
''I didn't want to add fuel to the fire. She was already struggling enough as it was, I didn't want to make her talk about it. And I...I didn't know she would react this way,'' after his quiet confession a silence followed, both Taehyung and Seokjin deep in thoughts.
''Taehyung she lo-she likes you. And I know you feel something for her too. The most important thing when building any kind of relationship is talking. Yes, it would be difficult for her, but so is finding out you went and did this shit behind her back. Fuck, I'm not even talking about what you did to her and Jungkook,'' Taehyung groaned, rubbing his temples.
''Of course, you knew,'' he muttered under his nose, getting a scoff from his friend in response.
''Duh, I'm her best friend, of course, she told me!'' now it was Taehyung who scoffed.
''Yeah dream on,'' Seokjin glared his way, making Taehyung smirk to himself. But soon the little grin disappeared and got replaced with a dejected expression, ''what should I do?'' he asked his friend, looking at him in a silent plea.
Seokjin sighed, looking at his younger friend.
The man was whipped and so oblivious to the fact, it was funny and sad at the same time.
''Well, you're in luck since it's her birthday tomorrow. You co-''
''Her what?!'' Taehyung straightened up in his stool, looking at his friend with widened eyes. Seokjin looked him up and down oddly.
''Her birthday you prick, you didn't know?'' bewildered, Taehyung slumped back down, looking at Seokjin in disbelief.
''Well...no she didn't tell me,'' he muttered, looking away.
Why the fuck was he finding out a thing like this just now?
''Well, now you know. So you better put it to good use,'' he glanced up at Seokjin, frowning, ''get her something for her birthday you dumbass. Everyone loves presents.'' humming, Taehyung rubbed his chin, thinking.
''What should I get her?'' he heard Seokjin groan, making him glare at the older.
''You're the one who basically spends his 24/7 with her. I'm sure you will think of something.'' Taehyung nodded.
''Yeah, alright.''
Seokjin was right, he needed to use this opportunity well.
''Oh and also,'' he looked back at Seokjin who was already looking smugly his way, making the younger narrow his eyes in suspicion, ''besides that, I also thought of something else you could give her, something that could get her to maybe forgive you a bit faster.''
Taehyung watched his smirking friend, hesitating.
He didn't like where this was going.
***
if you guys are wondering why I'm updating so frequently lately, it was my spring break this week, unfortunatelly school starts again on monday >.<
but as you can clearly see I have lots of inspiration for writing lately so I will try to update during school as well, of course I won't be able to write as often as I did these days :(
anyway, besides that, thank you all for supporting my book, I appreciate all your votes and comments so so much <3
have a nice day and stay safe loves <3