Naomi Black
Matti had lost his game against Ohio State.
Penn State had actually lost.
I didn't go to the game, I watched wrapped up in my favorite blanket from my couch with Sloane. We drank pumpkin spice lattes and watched with wide eyes. Ohio State hated Penn State and the feeling was mutual.
In the fourth quarter, the game was tied up by one touchdown from Ohio State. The worst part is that they were going for the field goal. If they actually made it, they would beat us by one point.
One fucking point.
And of course they made the field goal.
So Penn State had lost their first game of the season, and Matti Williams had lost his first game with Penn State.
The Ohio State crowd cheered with joy as Matti hung his head low, while he jogged off the field with his helmet in hand.
ESPN cut to the next news clip to bars in the city of Columbus, Ohio where college students were stomping on Matti's jersey and even burning it.
"Okay, we're turning this off." Sloane said as she reached for the remote— my eyes were frozen to the screen.
"Is—is it my fault?" I aske. Sloane hums in response, "is it my fault that Matti didn't play like he usually does?" I reiterated my question.
She laughed, "Girl, are you dumb? He did fine. Ohio's line was just too good. We couldn't get carry's through." I cracked a smile at her.
I had been doing fine without Matti, even though I couldn't help but try not to think about that man every single hour of the day. After my whole shower episode, the girls brought me coffee from Starbucks and said Matti had texted Nat that I was back at home.
It had only been 24 hours since the last time I saw him but I swear I still smelled his scent every time I closed my eyes. It was like I was back wrapped in his arms again.
I wasn't regretting my decision.
"So what are you going to do about him drugging you?" Sloane asks as I shrug. "Unfortunately, I feel like there is nothing I can do. First of all, it's his word against mine. I threw up all of the evidence. I'm 19 and I was underage drinking, I feel like everything would just go against me." I sigh.
"Matti would have a big influence if he spoke up for you. I'm pretty sure all of the boys would." I laugh at her suggestion. "I'm not asking Matti for help. None of the boys, they've done enough already." I responded.
She raised her eyebrows, "So you're just going to allow more girls to go through what you went through? And not every girl has a Blake Day willing to protect them." I groan and pull my hair. I stand up, "Just stop please. I don't need a lecture, Sloane. I'm already going through enough." I plead as she nods. "And I know that, but I'm here to tell you the truth whether you like it or not." I walk away from the conversation and head to my room.
My room has been my comfort space for the past week and more. My bed has stayed unmade. My clothes lay on the floor, I have water bottles everywhere, so not like my typical normal self. I walk over to my mirror and tear up. My hairbrush was filled with hair due to it falling out. My anxiety and depression had really been taking a toll on my body.
I walk over to my bed and curl up in a ball to fall asleep. I wanted to be far away from this moment in time. I sniffle and look at my window. The moonlight was illuminating the night sky.
Matti was probably beating the shit out of something right now due to the loss. I wanted to text him and tell him that it was okay to lose because that's what a good friend would do. I exhaled and closed my eyes praying to wake up and forget the boy that was tearing apart my thoughts and heart.
✧
Three days later and it was time for my first class with Matti.
I stumbled out of bed. I threw on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. My hair had no time for saving so I just finger combed it and ran out the door. Not before grabbing the granola bar that Nat laid out for me.
My idea was to get to class super early so that way I wouldn't run into him.
Entering class, I was relieved to see I was the first person there. Instead of sitting in my normal spot that I would with Matti, I decided to sit in a corner away from everyone wanting to be unbothered.
Dr. Metz was the next person to walk in after me. She waved at me and I returned the favor while still staying silent. Students started entering at a rapid pace after that.
I was hoping he wouldn't show up.
But at eight on the dot, he walked in looking as beautiful as ever. I watched as he looked up to our normal spot. Once he saw I wasn't there, I saw his eyes start to scan the crowd for me.
I shoved my face in my notebook, and suddenly the order of the colors in the rainbow became very interesting. I watched from my side eye as Matti walked up to our normal seats, but he sat in my seat, not his. He sat his backpack on the ground, sat in the chair, and flooded his fists together before resting his head on top of them.
He didn't give me any ounce of attention like he said he would?
Throughout the class, I kept pecking around the room. Matti wasn't even paying attention to the lecture. He was too focused on whatever was playing on his phone. He didn't look too good to be honest.
He was extremely pale and his hair was a mess. His eyes held bags and he looked like he hadn't slept a wink.
Dr. Metz decided to let us out five minutes early to get started on our Midterms that were due next week since we went on Thanksgiving break in fifteen days.
I was slow to get out of my seat. I couldn't rush to get up because the fact that I hadn't been eating properly, definitely was taking a toll on my already small body. I reached down and grabbed my bag and then pushed in my chair. I walked down the steps of the lecture and exited through the doors.
I walked down the long hallway minding my own business. I wanted to go home and curl up in my bed. I didn't have to go to my nursing classes since we typically got out of our classes before anyone else since we needed more time to study for our big nursing exam.
But, even if I passed the nursing exam, I still needed the art class credit to be able to do clinical rotations. There were so many amazing hospitals near me that I could do so, it would just be weird not having classes on campus anymore. All of my information would be taught hands on at the hospital.
I exited the building and started walking back to the apartment. I was so interested in my phone that I didn't see the person while I was turning the corner near the student affairs office. "Oof," I fell back but before I touched the pavement, I was caught.
I opened my eyes that were closed from the impact, "Still falling for me even when we're not talking, Black?" His voice spoke out. I looked into his eyes as he set me straight again and I shook my head. "Thanks-for catching me." I nod at him before walking around him. Before I could walk around him he stopped me, "Why did you ignore me in class today?" He asked as I sucked in a breath.
I did not need confrontation today.
"You weren't exactly jumping to talk to me either, were you, Williams?" I proved my point and walked around him successfully. I was about five steps from where I previously was when my pathway was blocked. "Matti. Leave me alone," I pleaded with him as he raised his eyebrows. "You don't mean that." He stated as I raised my eyebrows, "Yes. Yes, I do mean that." No, I didn't.
"Black, I told you before. Either we're friends or I'll just follow you everywhere silently." He said and I chuckled, "That would be stalking." I walked around him again but a hand grabbed me. "It's not stalking if you like it," He said smugly as I rolled my eyes. "Matti. Listen. I need time. So, if you actually did care about me- you'd give me that." I look at him as he nods.
He goes to reach for me but I step back, "No! Matti! Respect me! I don't want to talk to you right now. You hurt me, just leave me alone!" I yell at him. Luckily nobody was near, thankfully. He gave me a look before shaking his head and walking away.
And I did the same.
✧
When I walked in my front door, I did not think I would see Blake Day sitting at my dining room table with the girls laughing.
But I did?
"Oh, hey! Look what the cat dragged in!" Finn yelled while scooting the chair back to tackle me. I patted her back before her tall, slim figure released me. "How was class?" Nat asked as I raised my eyebrows.
Obviously I couldn't tell them all of the details because Blake was right there.
"Oh please ignore me, I can be one of the girls too." He smirked at me as Sloane smacked his bicep. "It was fine." I said as I dropped my bookbag. "Mattison didn't talk to you?" Blake asked as I shrugged. "I don't really want to talk about him." I said as he nodded.
"That's great." He stood up and pushed the bar chair he was sitting on in. He snatchd his expensive looking car keys off of the table and started hugging the girls bye. Since when did they become besties?
When he was done hugging them he nodded his head at me. "Put your shoes back on." He spoke to me as I shook my head. "No, I'm really busy-" I denied but I was cut off. "Yeah. That's exactly what Matti said when I tried to get him to play on the PlayStation with me yesterday. Now, get your shoes on." I groaned.
I stomped back down the hallway and threw back on my ugg boots, not even caring if they were tucked into my sweatpants or not. I walked back towards Blake and the girls. "Are you happy?" I asked as I did a twirl in front of everyone.
"Ecstatic." He sarcastically spoke before grabbing my hand and dragging me out my door.
"Blake, where are we going?" I rush out as he is literally dragging me down the stairs and through my lobby. He opened the door and took a step out, "We're hanging out." He spoke as if it were a casual thing. "No. No we're not." I try to stop him but he continues to drag me. "Oh yes we are." He states as he walks us towards a tesla. "Does everyone here except me swim in fucking puddles of money?" I ask as he looks back at me and chuckles.
He opens the tesla door for me and motions for me to get in. I hesitantly sit in the car, but before he shuts the door he smirks at me. "Matti can buy you one of these if you want," He suggests as I raise my middle finger at him.
He shuts the door and walks around to his driver side. He slides in with eaze and starts it up.
"So where are we going?" I ask as he puts the car in reverse. He tilted his head towards me and smiled. "We're going to the field." He says cheekily. "What?" I was shocked.
"Beaver Stadium. Ever heard of it?" He responds as he turns left and suddenly the stadium is at the end of the road. "Can't you get in trouble for this?" I ask as he shrugs. "Not if you were requested." He mutters as my eyes raise. "What?" He shrugged off my question.
Who requested me?
He flashes a pass to a guard at the parking entrance. He finds a parking spot and parks. He turns and looks at me. "We could've walked." I say as he chuckles. "Multi Million dollar legs." He points towards them as my eyes widen.
He turns and opens his door before pressing a button for mine to open as well. I hop out and he chuckles at me before shutting the doors with his keys and walking away.
Ok.
"Hey. Can you maybe wait for me? Since- you know, you dragged me here?" I speak with an attitude. He starts whistling and continues to walk despite the words I just spoke.
"So what exactly are we doing here? Who requested me?" I ask while trying to speed up my footsteps. He immediately stops so I slam into his back. "Ouch." I whisper. "Do you ever just shut up?" He asks as I raise my eyebrows.
What the fuck.
"Okay no need to be mean," I cross my arms and walk ahead of him towards the door we were heading to. Penn State was as cold as fucking ice today. I wanted nothing more than to just curl up in my warm ass bed.
I approached the steel doors and waited for Blake to walk up with the access card. He pushes me aside and scans his card. I sigh, how does this guy go from my knight and shining armor to the most dickish person ever?
No wonder he and Matti are best friends.
He throws open the doors and we're in the hallway of a million offices. I follow him as we walk all the way down to the end. We stopped at an office that you can't see in, but I had a feeling you could see out. There was no name on the door either.
"Okay, don't freak out." He says as I raise my eyebrows.
"What are you talking about?" I ask but before he can reply he opens the office door and shoves me inside, slamming the door. "Blake! What the fuck is wrong with you! Let me out! You did this for what reason!" I pound on the door trying to get his idiotic ass to open the door of the office that he just locked me in.
I stopped banging and sighed, what a jerk.
"Now- if you're done with that darling, come have a seat." A man's voice interrupts me. I gasp and jump in shock. My hand immediately finds the doorknob.
"No need for that, I'm Coach Webber. Nice to meet you, Naomi." He smiles at me and takes off his glasses to set them on his desk. I swallow before slowly testing the waters and walking over.
I sit in the chair closest to the door and pray that I'm not about to have a repeat of Thursday night.
I sit quietly as I'm waiting for what this old man is about to speak but he doesn't. He just hums, types on his computer, and smiles at me. Was it truly necessary for me to be here?
"Your dad is coming in two weeks," He says with a smile on his face. I groaned and put my head in my hands. "How'd you know?" I ask as he chuckles. "Your boyfriend wasn't the only guy to break down in my office about women, you know?" He winks at me.
"My boyfriend?" I shake my head in confusion.
"Williams. Number nine, my QB1. Quarterbacks run in the family don't they?" He giggles as I glare at him. "Listen, you didn't tell anyone about my dad did you?" I ask with hope as he shakes his head.
"No. It's not my business what goes on outside of my field. However, Williams lost the game the other day missy. And I think it's because you broke his heart." I chuckled. "I didn't break his heart." I deny.
"You know, when I coached your dad for those three seasons, he was so scholarly. He didn't care about partying, he cared about football and science. He was a great player for that." He stated before continuing, "When he left to go play for the Steelers, it was great. He was the first guy to put my name as a coach on the map. When he came to me after one season saying that he got a stripper pregnant, I was in disbelief. I tried to get him to come back to life, but he just didn't want to give up the high." He spews on as I listen.
"When I found out that you were a girl, I was bummed. I truly thought that I could have another great player on my team." I raised my eyebrows, what kind of sexist comment is that?
"Matti doesn't know you're his kid?" He asks as I nod. "Yes, correct. It's the last thing I want." I speak as he hums. "Why?" He asks curiously. I shrug, "My dad isn't relevant to me." He hums.
"So, tell me Miss Black, are you going to make my quarterback lose another game?" He asks as I scoff. "How dare you have Blake-" He cuts me off.
"That's your godbrother." I burst out laughing. "Okay. You're seriously, pardon my language, fucking nuts. I'm not a nurse yet, but you should get your cranium looked at sir." I stand up as he clears his throat.
"Do you want to know about your dad, or not?" He asks as I turn back around. "I would rather lose my chances of going to nursing school than to sit here and listen to you talk about that jerk." I spit as he chuckles. I turn around and walk towards the door.
I reach for the door handle, "Oh by the way, tell Blake that Uncle Ben called- he wants to have dinner with him after the alumni game." He says nonchalantly. I freeze and turn around, "Listen, what game are you playing at old man? My nursing specialty is in pediatrics, not geriatrics. But, I can get someone in here to diagnose you as soon as possible." I spit words at him marching back over to his desk.
"What? Just relay the message to Blake. Not that hard." He says with a smile on his face.
I sigh and throw myself back in the chair. I watch him as he continues to smile at me. "Are you going to talk or?" I say with an attitude. "You know, with that attitude. You might as well be Karla's daughter." I feel the smoke blowing out of my ears at his insult.
He takes my silence as an answer before he nods and clears his throat. "Your godfather played football with your dad, one of the best players I ever had." He speaks as he stares off into oblivion. "Your godfather is Blake's dad, which makes him your godbrother." I raise my eyebrows.
"So, Blake has known this entire time who I was?" I ask as he chuckles. "He knew of you, but didn't know you were her until about a week ago." He smiles at me. I chuckle, "This is a joke." He shakes his head, "Nope. It's not." He says.
Blake knew who my dad was.
Blake knew who I was.
Blake didn't tell Matti?
Blake and Griffin hadn't told Matti.
Coach hadn't told Matti.
Am I missing the punchline?
Or does my life really just suck this fucking bad?
"So my godfather is the Governor of Michigan?" I ask timidly as he nods. "And-" he cuts me off by throwing a newspaper in front of me. "And, possibly the next Vice President of The United States Of America." I read the headlines as my mouth dropped open.
"Also, if your lovely grandparents hadn't taken you in- you were going to be with the Day's in fact." He smiles at me again. What the fuck?
"So, If you put two and two together. You're very important to some key members of my team. Don't fuck this up for me Black." He winks as my eyes widen. "I'm not fucking it up for anyone." I state.
He nods, "I had a boy crying on my damn field over you. I had a boy that has never thrown in the towel, throw that fucker in. And you're telling me you have no effect on my team?" He chuckles and shakes his head.
Matti went to the field and cried over me?
"Your dad had never liked anyone, but Karla. And it's kind of like Williams. He always had the cheerleaders and the dancers. But, your dad and Matti are alike in a lot of-" I cut him off. "No they aren't. Don't ever compare them together again." He sighs.
"Listen, Naomi. I wanted to call you in here and tell you that I'm planning on hiring your dad as my assistant coach, next year. I thought since you didn't talk to him. It would be better for me, to tell you." He says as my heart drops in my stomach.
Can my life get any worse?
"Please don't hire him." I plead with him as he bites the end of his pen. He scratches the back of his neck. "Unfortunately, I'm thinking about hiring him." I groan.
"Tell Matti before he finds out from someone else," He suggests as I raise my eyebrows. "Don't tell him." I beg as he shakes his head. "No I wouldn't do that." He states as I breathe out a sigh of relief.
"However, Blake might." He suggested as I groaned. "Give Matti a shot, he's a good person." He says with passion. "Good, you like him so much then why don't you date him." He rolls his eyes at my comment.
"I don't give many people my time of day Black. I'm running a multimillion dollar college sports program." He points out. "Okay. I'll leave then, no problem." He chuckled. I stood up for once and for all. "I told Matti to send me a wedding invite in the mail. But, I also wanted to extend that your kids are going to make great additions to my team when they're older." He speaks as I flip him off walking outside of the door.
"Just like Benny!" He yells from his office to me. I was now walking down the hallway at fast speeds. I wanted to get home and scream into my fucking pillow.
I had been gaslighted by a football coach. I had been told that my godfather was Blake's dad & that Blake was my godbrother. I was also informed that my dad would be in the same general vicinity as me next year & that I would see him in two weeks.
Not to mention the fact that Blake and I were long lost family friends?
I plowed open the door and marched outside into the cold air. I speed walk down the ramp outside of Beaver Stadium. "Wait, Black!" I hear Blake calling out to me.
I keep walking away. But, he's too fast for me, he grabs my hand and turns me around. "When are you gonna tell him Black?" He taunts me as I raise my eyebrows at his ludicrousy. "I'm not telling him anything. Nobody is." I emphasize on the last two words as he sarcastically nods.
"He's going to be pissed that you kept that from him. He told you everything." He points as I roll my eyes. "I don't talk to my dad! I'm embarrassed of my dad! Why the hell would I tell a guy I liked about my dad?" I argue with him.
"Because you like him! And it's the truth!" He argues back. I cross my arms over my chest. "Oh well, he didn't think about telling me the truth the other night." He chuckles, "You always got to live in the past- don't you, Black?" I scoffed.
"I don't even know why you're approaching me about shit right! Matti and I are on good terms." I throw my hands in the air. "Really? Ignoring each other during a class? And then yelling at him in the middle of College Ave is good terms? You must be on good terms with your dad then." He spits at me before walking past me.
I jog on the asphalt to catch up to him. "Hey, asshole. Our dad's might've been friends back in the day. But, you don't know me." I poke my fingers at his chest.
"Oh, trust me Black. I know exactly who you are." He chuckles at me. "Don't poke your fingers at me ever again or I'll say some things that I know you won't like. If you want to play the asshole game, that's fine, because at the end of the day: you're the over-sensitive one. Not me. So, try me." He spits out his words like venom.
"You're a fucking coward, Black. I can be nice. But, you hurt my best friend. You're a coward." He walks away from me towards his car. He walks angrily towards it, gets inside, and speeds off.
Leaving me stranded.
But it was okay because I would've unleashed hell fire in that fucking electric car.
✧
"He said what!?" Finn screamed across the table as we were all sucking down our pasta. "Yep." I shrug as their forks hit the glass plate with a clunk. "This is why Blake will never get a girlfriend. His fucking temper is out of control. He's nice when he wants to be nice." Nat speaks as she reaches for her glass of water.
"Oh and not to mention, coach said that Blake knows." I mutter as Sloane's eyes bug out of her head. "He knows?" She emphasizes. I nod my head, "He knows." They all gasp.
"How?" Finn asks as I chuckle. "Good ole Benny was besties with Blake's dad back in the day. They both played for Penn State." I drink my water. They all sit with their eyebrows raised. "Mr. Day is my uh- godfather." Nat gasps.
"Which would make Blake my- '' I get cut off by Sloane. "He's your fucking godbother?" She yells.
I nod. They all burst into commotion with each other as I sit back and watch. "This is fucking nuts, I know. Small world." I speak as they nod.
"He's not going to tell Matti is he?" Nat asks as I shrug. "He might. Who knows, nobody can stop him though." I speak as I push the food around my plate.
This was the most I have eaten in days.
"So, what are you going to do about your dad?" Finn asks as I chuckle. "Avoid him at all costs." I state the obvious. I stand up from my chair and collect my plate. It was eight, and I was exhausted. It had been one hell of a day.
"Alright ladies, I have to finish this paper, and then I'm peacing out." I speak as I walk into the kitchen putting my stuff in the dishwasher. I grabbed another water and walked back into my room. I closed the door and walked to my bed.
I fell face first on my bed and let out a groan.
If I knew what sex felt like, this would probably feel better.
I flip over and reach for my laptop. Opening the screen, I clicked on docs and focused on my research paper. I only had to revise, luckily I had gotten the 22 pages out of the way two weeks ago.
With the way this past week has been, I would've had no motivation or effort to do it.
So for the next hour, I endlessly clicked and tapped to correct my mistakes. Once I finished, I needed to print. That way I could drop it off tomorrow on my way to Starbucks. I needed to start getting back into my old routine.
I clicked the left corner and selected the print option.
I waited patiently for the screen to tell me it had printed, but instead it told me 'unable to print: low on ink.'
I groaned.
I couldn't wait to not print it. I threw myself off of my bed and put on a hoodie. I walked towards my bedroom door. "Whoever used all the ink! I fucking hate you for the next 60 seconds!" I yelled.
"Sorry!" All three of the girls yelled from behind their closed doors.
I grabbed my keys and wallet from the rack and walked out of the apartment. Luckily the campus Target was right down the road. It even had a Starbucks on the inside, so it was a win for me.
I walked along the sidewalk where the moonlight shined. I looked up to the moon and smiled. I continued walking down the path, kicking the frozen leaves with my rain boots. It was a quiet night.
It was so peaceful.
Just me and the moon.
I walked around another five minutes and finally reached Target. I walked through the automatic doors and was hit in the face with the warm air. I walked to the technology section and got the black ink that I needed.
I turned around and walked towards the cash register. I paid for my stuff and walked out.
Easy job.
I started my walk back to the apartment when I decided to take a detour. I didn't get coffee, so I could stop for some yummy ice cream. I had a rough week, I needed to build back my appetite.
Instead of turning left, I turned right and started walking to the Creamery. It was a five-minute walk. I texted the girls to ask if they had wanted anything. Of Course they all said chocolate bowls.
I skipped all the way to the creamery. I was in such a good mood.
Blake wasn't going to tell Matti, who are we kidding. He knows that it would fuck up Matti's game even more. He's not going to tell him.
Having my dad near me will be hard. I'd want to fucking deck him in the face everytime I would see him, but I needed to be the bigger person.
Turning the last corner the creamery came into sight.
She was beautiful tonight.
I walked closer and closer, I could practically taste the strawberry goodness on my buds. I threw open the door and walked up to the counter. "Hey! Welcome to the creamery! What can I get you?" The girl asked. "One strawberry bowl and three chocolates please!" I asked and then paid.
"Go head to the other end and we'll get you sorted down there!" I smiled at her and followed her directions that I've heard many times previously.
I walked down to the end and looked at my phone. I was preoccupied with my instagram feed until I heard something that made my head turn.
"Haha! Matti! Stop it!" A girly voice squealed. I turned my head and what I didn't need to see, I saw. Matti was feeding Chloe his ice cream.
Ice cream was our thing.
He smeared his mint chocolate chip bowl on her face while trying to feed her. I inhaled and turned around. I didn't care.
I swallowed.
Hurry up. I needed to get out of here.
I breathed in and out.
In and out.
In and out.
"Order for Naomi!" A guy from behind the counter yelled and I grimaced. Hopefully he didn't hear that. "Thanks." I gave a sad smile to the guy and grabbed my bag. I turned around and avoided his stare that was following my every move.
The giggling from Chloe had stopped.
I held my head down and walked towards the door.
I heard a chair screech.
I flew outside and started speed walking away from a situation I didn't want to be in.
The door chimed meaning that someone was excited. I took a deep breath.
He's not following me, nope. Not a chance.
"Naomi." His voice boomed from the street. I didn't turn around though. I kept my head down and watched the moonlight as it lit up the pathway for me.
Get me out of here, mom.
I continued to walk away from him.
He ran up to me and in front of me. "Naomi." He spoke again. I continued to walk, ignoring him. I needed space and time but seeing him with a different girl, I didn't think he would've worked that fast.
Or I didn't think it would've hurt that bad.
"Naomi." He grabbed my shoulders to stop me from moving. "Matti. Let go." I demanded as he chuckled. "You can't be mad at me Naomi." He says as I scoff. "I'm not mad. Let me go." I speak and try to walk around him but he walks in front of me- facing me.
"You did it to yourself Naomi. You brought this on yourself." He said out of spite I chuckled.
"Fuck you, Matti. I did what was best for me." I spat at him as he shook his head. "It doesn't have to be this complicated. Why are you making it so complicated? I didn't want to go out with Chloe!" He admitted as I dropped everything I held in my hands to the concrete.
"Just like you didn't want to put that picture out there with Coen Miller, right? Just like you didn't want to tell me about your dinner, right? Oh. Just like you didn't mean to make me feel like I had to act rich, right?" I mock him as he rolls his eyes.
We are now at a complete standstill in the middle of College Ave, arguing with each other underneath the moon's light.
"Quit. Bringing. Up. The. Past. I. Don't. Care." He slowly states with venom. I chuckle, "You know usually when someone cares for someone truly, they will always care." I mock him again.
"I do care." He denies me.
"You care in the wrong fucking ways then Matti! I told you I needed space! I didn't think you would jump in bed with her the next day!" I yell at him. "So what Naomi! You didn't want me anyways!" He yells back with emotion in his tone.
He goes to speak again but I cut him off, "You have a bad day, and you take it out on me! You mess up, you take it out on me! But apparently when I want space, I'm the problem! I deserve to suffer while watching you be with her! I bring it upon myself?" I yell back.
"If this is what it is like with you, then I don't want it." I cry out as I walk away from him. And everything that I left on the ground.
"But I want everything with you!" He yells to me as I walk away from him in the distance.
I wanted to yell back. I wanted him too, but I couldn't. I couldn't muster out the words. I didn't ever want to let my guard down to another man in my life again. I looked like a fucking fool.
I'm a fool for him.
I did not want him.
But instead I was fucking cursed.
Like the coach said earlier, having a thing for Penn State QB 1's runs in the family.
I busted through the front door as the girls were waiting for their ice cream, smiling. I closed the door behind me. They took in my disheveled appearance and their smiles dropped.
We all stared at each other in silence. Until the girls walked towards me and hugged me. That's when the tears started flowing.
"Shhh. It's okay." All of the girls comforted me while I cried. I was doing so well.
"I want to fucking hate him! I can't hate him! No matter what he does he won't get out of my head!" I screamed as I cried. Their grips tightened on me as my cries got louder.
"Naomi! Breathe! You aren't hard to love, you just asked the wrong person!" Nat yelled as I clung to her body. "This always happens!" I yell back.
Mattison Williams- I hope you had a great fucking time feeding her ice cream.
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