Freya
I've been awake for awhile now just staring up at the worn fabric of the roof. To say I was confused was an under statement. I really need to talk to Anna. I'm not a people person usually. I don't understand them. Ever since we landed I've tried to think like Anna when I was near people. She was a people person, effortlessly she made friendships and occasionally a relationship. Now I'm stuck, I got close to Clarke and Octavia then eventually Lexa. And I feel like if I pursue Lexa I'm betraying my people. Yes, we have a truce but how long will that last. I don't want to have to choose between Lexa and the others. Because I know what I would have to do.
"Hey" Clarke said just waking up.
She looked up at me from where she'd been asleep on my chest. She looks tired but more put together than last night. "Hey" I said. Clarke brought me a great deal of comfort.
Clarke slowly sat up at the same time letting go of me and pulling out of my arms. She brushed through her hair with her fingers. Looking over to the door she watched the light stream in for a while. "How does your head feel?" she glanced back at me. I only shrugged, it feels the same as yesterday. She hummed her eyes darting around the bandage. "Promise me you won't fall into a coma again" she said setting her hand on my thigh over the blanket. "If you didn't wake up I don't know where I would be right now."
"I'll try not to" I told her.
She smiled a little and patted my thigh lightly. "We should get up" she sighed looking like she was dreading going back to camp. But sooner or later she would have to face them. After a pause she climbed over me off the bed. I sat up throwing a leg over the side of the bed. Clarke scooped up my pants moving over to the table with them. "What's this?" she asked turning with a folded piece of paper in her hands.
I got up and walked over to look at it. It was the drawing from Lexa's table. One of the drawings at least. "I think Lincoln drew it when he was hanging around camp" I said.
Clarke looked at it a little longer before handing it over to me. "Lincoln's been a reaper for a while so how did you get it?" she asked. "He's fine now" she quickly added. I nodded glad to hear he was okay. He turned out to be a good guy especially to Octavia.
I leaned my palms against the table looking at the picture. "Lexa had it, he must have given it to her" I said. Thoughts of the commander swirled in my head. A little bit of anger towards her. How good it felt to kiss her. It was different. I've kissed Clarke before and I enjoyed it but Lexa's seemed to put me at peace in that moment.
Arms wrapped around me from behind guiding me to lean back into her. Clarke rested her chin on my shoulder. Reflexively my body relaxed against her. "What's going on in your head, Freya?" she whispered. I shivered from her being so close.
"I'm conflicted, everything keeps falling on top of one another" I said vaguely. I don't want to say too much with out Anna helping me make sense of everything.
She hummed sliding a hand under my shirt. "We both could go for a distraction" she lightly kissed my neck. Her other hand moving to the front of my underwear. I groaned feeling my mind cloud over.
Light shined on my eyes making them snap open. I jumped not expecting to see anyone standing there. Clarke gasped jumping back embarrassed. Lexa stood in the doorway. Her jaw clenched as she looked solely at me. Her expression was unreadable. "Your friend will be here shortly" She said flatly. Without another word she turned on her heel and left.
"Shit" I swore pulling on my pants and moving to the bed to lace up my boots.
"That's definitely not something the leader of the people we just made a truce with should walk in on" Clarke hurriedly dressed. "I should talk to her" she said.
"About what?"
"I don't know the next step in this truce then I'll have to go back to camp" Clarke sighed. "I'll come grab you before going back."
I knew I wouldn't be able to leave with her but Clarke was already out of the tent before I could talk. Lexa probably won't speak a word to me except possibly tell me to leave her camp. My head didn't hurt nearly as bad as it did yesterday. Unwrapping Clarke's bandage I threw it on the table and brushed my hair down over the stitches. Last thing I want is to look like some bed bound dying person. After I talk to Anna I need to get back to training.
"Sirus" I said stepping next to the grounder. He didn't speak only glared straight ahead. Okay, so he's defiantly angry with me for sneaking out of the tent. "The commander sent one of her riders up to camp for me" I said. He huffed and turned to walk away. He led me to the side of the camp that led up to the Skaikru camp. I saw Lexa standing with Clarke and Indra in front of a tent near the small clearing. Other grounders stood around chatting or sharpening weapons. A pile of burnt ash was near the pole I assume they tied Finn too.
A rider rode up with Anna behind him on his horse. I'll have to ask her how she liked riding on a horse later. The moment the rider dismounted Anna jumped off, the man barely catching her before she hit the ground. "Freya!" she shouted running out of the grounders grasp.
A grin covered my face for the first time since being on the ground. "Anna" I said more to myself. She collided with me, tears already running down her face. I had to steady myself or else I'd fall over. My legs are weaker from lack of use. A weight lifted off my shoulders that I've been carrying since the last time I saw my best friend in person. "Hi beautiful" I whispered in her ear.
"Damn it I missed you so much" She pulled away wiping at her cheeks. Then she shoved me, "You know how many times I thought you were dead!" A fierce look that was only seen on certain occasions glared back at me.
Thankfully someone cleared their throat stopping her from continuing. She might not have cared that the entire camp of grounders was staring but I did. I just want to get away from watching eyes so I can properly reunite with Anna.
The rider held out a bag in Anna's direction but she was still looking me over. I took the bag from the rider so he could leave. "C'mon I have a tent you can assault me there" I said. With one look around at everyone staring Anna stuck to my hip as I led her away. "Sirus" I nodded at the man who'd followed us. Again he just grumbled something in his language. I held the flap open for Anna and Sirus settled into his position.
"Thanks" Anna took her bag. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "You were hurt. Let me see" she said.
"I wouldn't say it was a big deal" I said but she glared at me and pointed to the bed. With a sigh I sat down so she can do what she pleases. I just need to talk to her about the kiss, I still don't know what it means or what I should do. Lexa probably won't even talk to me after she sent me away last night then walked in on us this morning.
Anna moved my hair back and touched at the stitches, every so often whispering something to herself. "How do you feel? Dizzy? Nauseous?" she asked.
"Just a slight ache now" I said.
She nodded and finally relaxed enough to sit down beside me. She frowned messing with her thumbs. Gently I set my hand on top of hers. "I was really worried, Frey. They were days away from executing you early then with the drop ship I really thought I'd never see you again."
"I never thought I'd be lucky enough to see you one more time before I met my end" I said thinking about everyday in that cell. I pulled my hand from hers, "I'm not worth all this trouble" I whispered shaking my head.
Anna took up both my hands forcing me to face her completely. "You are worth every second of struggle, Freya. You are my family, I would go through it all again knowing I would make it to this moment again. So don't say you aren't worth it because I'd spend my entire life worrying about you."
I pulled her into a tight hug burying my face in her neck. "I really missed you, Anna. I've needed you since we were launched off the Ark" I told her. For awhile we sat like this. Just holding each other in a hug.
"Alright enough sappy talk I know you hate it" she giggled wiping at her eyes again as she sat back. "Tell me what's been going on" she said.
I told her everything from being on the ground, Murphy kissing me, helping Lincoln escape, the casual relationship with Clarke I'd started. Which made her squeal in excitement since I'd never been with anyone on the Ark. It was when I began getting into my time spent with the grounders specifically Lexa that Anna hung on to every word I said. "And then last night after Finn's death secured the truce" I paused looked up at her.
"I gonna scream what happened!" she practically bounced.
"The commander kissed me" I said quickly. I kept the words Lexa had said just before to myself. Anna stared at me with her mouth hanging open in surprise. A smile started to show on her lips. "But then she sent me away and well I got pissed and Clarke needed a place to stay. So, Lexa may have walked in on us in a compromising position this morning" I said sheepishly.
Anna leaped off the bed pacing the length of my tent before spinning around on me. "May have? May have!?" she yelled. "What is may have!?"
"Okay you can't yell about this, Anna. We're in a tent in a camp of the commanders people. The truce is fragile if this got out I don't know what would happen. Finn died for this truce, granted he was an ass in the end but still" I scolded her.
"Geez I get it I won't yell anymore" Anna said. Then she slapped my arm as hard as she could, "What the hell are you thinking?"
"Ow"
"Freya" this time she was whispering angrily. "It's obvious that the commander likes you! And then you practically hook up with someone in front of her?" she crossed her arms.
I groaned rubbing at my eyes. "I didn't hook up with some in front of her. She walked into my tent and Clarke had her hands on me" I said. Anna hummed like she did when she was thinking about something. "If she likes me then why did she kiss me only to send me away?" I groaned. Wait did I want to stay? I've been so mad about her sending me away I haven't stopped to think about if I really even wanted to stay.
"She a leader to her people what if she was just worried about what getting involved with you would mean for the truce" she said.
"Who's side are you on" I sighed laying on my back.
Anna laid next to me, "yours. I'm just considering both sides."
"Why did she kiss me in the first place" I groaned.
"Only she can tell you that" she shrugged. Neither of us spoke for the next couple of minutes. "Freya?" Anna said softly. I hummed. "How do YOU feel about the commander?" she turned on her side to look at me.
I watched the fabric of the ceiling for a while as I thought about the question. "I'm not sure. Weird? I feel weird inside sometimes when she's around" I mumbled.
"Hmm" Anna made one of her noises again.
"Why? What are you thinking?" I looked to the side.
She perched her lip gazing off at the tent wall. "I'm not sure I want to reveal that yet, I need to observe for a day or more to be sure" she said.
I have learned to let Anna be with her thoughts on things until she is ready to share them. "Tell me what all I've missed with you" I said.
Anna smiled again lightly hitting me. "Well besides all the worrying and then the grieving after your wristband went out, thanks for that by the way. I've been working in the med room. I made a new friend, Raven."
"Yeah I talked to her a few times" I said.
"I know you don't trust easy which is why I asked her to watch after you" she said. I rolled my eyes at her. Soon Anna dived into a story about a sick kid she had to treat. I was just glad to be back in her presence listening to another medical story.