ALEXA
The first week of school was finally coming to an end. Sitting in the back row of my English class on a Friday afternoon, the final class of the week, I couldn't wait for it to be over. It had been exhausting. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I think I might have been anticipating it to go a little smoother than it did. Maybe it was because I hadn't been in the whole school scene since before last Christmas, maybe it was being in a new state and adjusting to life outside of a psych ward with a loving parental figure and his band mates being the only people I interacted with, or maybe I just radiated freak energy and it put everyone off. Looking back, hoping to make a friend within my first week was a little ambitious. I just didn't expect people to be so mean straight off the bat.
The locker shoving and insults were nothing new, but what was new was how important your reputation was and how that could also be attacked. This was different compared to middle school, where attacks were in the form of physical violence and insults from a distinct group of people. Here, instead of it being a particular group of people who had an immediate distaste for me, it was somehow everyone. I had barely spoken to anyone, but since I was branded uncool by the popular group, the entire school blindly followed, the freak reputation sticking with me and sending everyone either running away or running to bash me.
Zoning in and out of focus, I only heard snippets of Mr Stevens spiel on the symbolism in Macbeth. My brain got stuck when he mentioned Lady Macbeth seeing the blood on her hands even after she had washed them - that was something I was very familiar with, albeit different reasons. Mine was more an insatiable craving for self destruction rather than guilt from what I'd done to another.
The piercing ring of the bell startled me, snapping me out of my daze as it made me jump ever so slightly in my seat.
"Make sure you complete the questions for Scene I of Act V before next class because we'll be moving on to Scene II. Have a good weekend everybody," Mr Stevens' loud voice boomed over the ruckus created by the students eager to leave and start their weekends.
I followed their lead, scooping up my books and singular pen before hurrying to my locker. Frank would be a little hurt if he knew that the pencil case he picked out for me had lived in my locker for most of the week and only ever made an appearance at home, but I saw it as one extra thing that would be swept off my desk as someone walked past or dropped when I was shoved, and considering it was something he lovingly bought for me with the purest intentions, I couldn't let people kick it around.
With my backpack slung over my shoulders, I peered around quickly, making sure I was in the clear. I could hear Calli's melodic voice ringing out down the hall and Jess' obnoxious laughter, and as much as I wanted to stick around to catch one last glimpse of her angelic features before the weekend began, I couldn't risk it.
Heading out of the school grounds while throwing the occasional glance over my shoulder, I was out surprisingly unscathed and finally free.
I was glad that on Tuesday I had asked Frank to park a few streets away to 'avoid the chaos'. It was working well - giving me enough time to get away from everyone and plaster a smile on my face before getting to his car. If he was still picking me up from the front of the school, he would have seen the relentless tripping and shoving and insults thrown my way, and I knew he wouldn't be able to help himself and would get involved. It felt like I had become the school's punching bag, or like there was a permanent 'kick me' sign on my back which for some reason I couldn't see. There was a part of me that hoped it was just part of some new kid hazing ritual and it would end, but I knew I was lying to myself with that one.
It was just safer for him to park further away and I could meet him there.
A smile found its way on my face when the familiar black sedan came into view and I half jogged the remaining distance.
"Happy end of your first week!" Frank cheered the second I opened the car door and slid into the passenger seat, my bag thrown down by my feet.
"I'm so glad that's over," I breathed, a sigh of relief escaping from my lips. Two days of peace. I have two days of peace. Thank the fucking lord.
Frank giggled, thinking I was being dramatic, but little did he know just how glad I was to have two days away from everyone, away from the pain and torment.
"How was school?" he asked sincerely.
I wished I could have answered him sincerely, but there were things I couldn't tell him. There was no way I was telling me about the kids at school, so I decided to keep it focused around the actual work side of it.
"It was okay. We're doing Macbeth in English so that's kinda cool, but I had it as my last class so like, who can think at the end of the week to be able to analyse the symbolism in something written like five thousand years ago?"
Frank let out a loud laugh. "At least it's not maths at the end of the week, now that would be flat out cruel."
I hummed and nodded. "That's true. It could be worse."
Frank turned the radio up as he pulled out of the street and onto the main road, and I relaxed back into the seat.
"I hope I got everything," Frank said over the music, looking into the back seat quickly before returning his eyes to the road. "It was just your sketchbook and pencils yeah? The stuff on your desk?"
Smiling widely, I craned my neck to inspect the items on Frank's back seat. "Yep, that's it!" I beamed.
"Rad, and if you're missing anything I can guarantee Gee has it and he'll be more than happy for you to use it." He shot me a quick grin before looking back at the road, a twinge of excitement shining in his eyes.
I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt to contain the excitement that building as we grew nearer to the Way's house. I had been looking forward to this since Wednesday night when Frank brought it up. Him following through with organising the drawing date had proved to me yet again that he didn't make empty promises, not that I doubted him.
"I'm so excited," I whispered as we pulled into the vaguely familiar driveway, unable to conceal the smile overtaking my face.
Frank looked over to me and grinned, looking about as giddy as I was, and unbuckled his seatbelt. I unbuckled mine and spun around in my seat to retrieve my supplies from the back, then eagerly jumped out of the car.
Holding them against my body as we climbed up the porch steps, I could feel the spring in my step. I was expecting Frank to knock and step back, waiting for either Gerard or Mikey to answer the door, but that didn't happen. He knocked, but then proceeded to unlock the door with a key attached to his set of keys.
"You have a key to their house?" I laughed in disbelief.
Frank smiled in amusement. "They decided it was easier to give Ray and I a key because we're here so often and they're too lazy to keep opening the door for us."
I nodded, still giggling. "I mean, it makes sense but I was not expecting that."
Frank giggled and opened the door, stepping inside. I followed just behind him. It felt strange being in someone else's home without them opening the door and inviting me in. It felt like we were breaking in even though we weren't. Does it count as breaking in if you have a key?
"Guys," Frank called out, "we're here."
Almost immediately, a 'hey' in both Mikey and Gerard's voices echoed through the house.
"They're so weirdly in sync," Frank whispered, making me giggle, before they came into vision.
"Lexa! Are you ready for the best day of your life?" Gerard asked excitedly as he rounded the corner.
Mikey laughed, following him and waving.
With them both coming to say hello I felt so loved, like they were eager to see me. Both of them greeted me with a warm hug, making my smile become even wider.
I giggled and nodded. "I'm so excited!"
"Good," he smiled, "I am too."
I bit my lip as I grinned, trying to not explode with the amount of excitement that was filling me from the inside while we did the usual greeting chit chat.
"Alrighty, we'll stop holding you up. Go have fun Lex, Mikes and I have video games to play," Frank chuckled warmly, placing his hand on my mid back and giving me a gentle push forward as a cue to head off with Gee now.
I was grateful for his help because I was terrible in social situations and he could read me incredibly well. He could pick up on the nervous energy underneath my giddiness, but I think that was mostly stemming from me not wanting to screw anything up in some way. Frank's warm touch helped all that melt away.
Stepping forward, I hugged my sketchbook against my body.
"We could be a while," Gerard said, smiling sideways.
"So could we," Mikey grinned at Frank.
"Have fun," Frank said to me, giving me a smile before he began talking gaming with Mikey and they headed off in the direction Mikey and Gerard came from.
"We're gonna go up to my studio," Gee said as we began climbing the stairs. "It's next to the comic room."
"Oh yeah, I remember Mikey showing me your comic room on the Fourth. I love how you guys have a whole room for it," I giggled.
"It's pretty cool, huh? But ugh," he groaned, shaking his head. "Don't get me wrong, I love my kid brother, but my god Mikey always messes it up when he goes in there. I don't know what he does, he swears he puts everything back where he finds it, but I'm telling you that boy does not know how to keep a bookshelf organised to save his life. Why is it that if I go in there after he's been in there, I find an issue of X-Men in with The Avengers? I wasn't the one who put it there. Ugh, I love him but he kills me."
I couldn't help but laugh as Gerard went on a tangent. They were so brotherly, it made me wish I had a sibling who I could be that close with and bicker with but deep down we loved each other unconditionally. I suppose in a way Frank was kind of like that person in my life, but he was filling so many gaps - father, older brother, best friend - that it was hard to pin him down to one thing.
"But in saying that, if you're ever over here, you're more than welcome to go in there and read anything. Just for the love of god don't be Mikey and put things back where they were," he said warmly, laughing at the end. "That's all I ask."
"Really?" I asked, hoping to not sound too surprised.
I wasn't sure I would ever get used to people willingly sharing their things with me, and after Mikey's in depth discussion about different comic books when he showed me the room I kind of wanted to read some to see what he was on about.
"Yeah, you're my favourite niece," he grinned as he looked over his shoulder.
"Do you even have another niece?" I laughed.
"That's irrelevant, you're my favourite."
Warmth filling my chest and tinting my cheeks a light shade of pink, I hugged my sketchbook tighter against me, smiling at my feet as they stepped in time with Gerard's.
"After you," he beamed, holding his arm out when we reached his studio, directing me inside.
There were drawings and sketches hanging up on the dark grey walls. It had a dark, gloomy aesthetic to it, with a black table and matching chairs, but the large window on the left side of the room illuminated the space and his drawings hanging up added life to it. There was a set of drawers against one wall which I learned housed all his supplies, and shelves which held many visual diaries and sketchbooks. I liked it immediately.
"Make yourself at home."
I placed my sketchbook and pencils down on the table before pulling out the chair in front of me and sitting down.
"Do you wanna listen to any music or do you prefer to draw in quiet?" he asked while pulling his supplies out of the top drawer. I hated how my eyes immediately fixated on the sharpener. I guess old habits never go away completely.
"Music could be good," I smiled, meeting his eyes.
He placed everything in his hands down on the table next to me before crossing the room to the record player I only just noticed.
"Whatcha feeling?" he asked, flipping through this vinyl collection.
"Uhh, I don't mind. You pick."
Much to my relief, instead of pulling a Frank and turning it into a 'no you' back and forth, he picked one up, looked at it for a few seconds and then put it on the turntable.
"Okay," he said with a smile playing at his lips, flipping through his sketchbook to a blank page. "What kinda style do you like to draw in? What sorta stuff do you do?"
"Uhh," I stalled, not really knowing how to explain that my drawings were pretty much reflections of my mental state and how I saw myself or what I was feeling. "I don't really know what you'd call it, I just like black and white sketch kinda things, like whatever comes to mind I guess. They look pretty rough - I don't like, go back and perfect them. I kinda like when they look rough and sketchy," I frowned, feeling somewhat embarrassed about my lack of vocabulary in describing what I was doing.
"That's cool, it's hard working that all out."
He gave me a half smile and opened the book in front of him, angling it so I could comfortably see the pages as he flipped through them. "I grew up fascinated by comic books and I would trace them trying to work out how to draw in that style, and then I became confident in how to do that and started free handing them and then I'd make it my own, y'know?" he explained, slowly turning the pages.
"Gee, these are amazing," I gushed. How was one man so talented?
He smiled bashfully. "Some are far better than others, but it's all practice. You can't expect to just start and be good, every time you pick up a pencil and put it to paper you get a little better."
"I haven't drawn that much in a while. I did a little bit at the hospital but not much. I've been trying to get back into it since Frankie got me a sketchbook but I've only drawn a few things - none of which are any good," I chuckled.
"Art is subjective," he dismissed. "There's no such thing as it not being any good - maybe in need of refining, but I'm sure there are at the very least qualities to it which are good."
Trust Gerard to put an uplifting spin on it to make me smile.
"D-do you wanna see what I've done?" I asked sheepishly.
"Only if you want to show it. Your art is personal, don't feel like you have to show me if you don't want to because I get it." Gerard spoke kindly, but I could see the curiosity in his eyes.
"No, it's okay. I don't mind showing you," I smiled.
He grinned at me as I flipped my book open to the first page.
There weren't many drawings that I had done considering I had only had the book for a week and spent a lot of that time at school, but there was one in particular that I didn't want him to see. The others surely wouldn't do any harm.
"So uh, yeah," I said awkwardly, looking at the one of a figure with their head scribbled out before turning the page to a silhouette of a girl with dark hands reaching out to grab her from overhead and behind. They grew more and more dark and twisted as the pages turned, the next one being a skeletal figure ripping their skin off as it morphed into a monster. Now that I thought about it, Gerard probably thought I was insane.
"They uh, all have a bit of a dark kinda theme to them."
I bit my lip, suddenly feeling like I shouldn't have shown him because not only were they bad drawings because I was a sloppy, unskilled artist, they were also a direct reflection of my mental state and it was obvious.
Gerard nodded, not taking his eyes off the pages, a look of deep concentration on his face.
As I began turning to the next page, my eyes went wide in realisation. It was one I couldn't have him see, even though what it was probably wasn't obvious to anyone but me. Either way, I quickly skipped it.
"Uh, don't look at that one, that one's shit," I laughed, hoping it would pass as embarrassment instead of panic.
"Based on the other ones, I'm sure it's not," Gerard said sincerely.
I let go of my book, it resting on the table, and pulled my sleeves over my hands. "It's just not something I'm proud of," I admitted, unable to meet his eyes.
There was a lot more meaning behind those words than he would have known, but he gave me a soft smile when I got the courage to look up at him.
"So yeah," I said before he could say anything, "that's kinda how I like to draw. It's kinda dark but... yeah."
GERARD
"Have you shown anyone these?" I asked as she fiddled with her hands, looking at her book which was open to the last drawing she was willing to share.
She shook her head before looking up at me with a small smile. "You're the first."
"Aww Lexa, I feel honoured," I smiled.
It wasn't so much her ability to draw that had made it so special, although she drew a lot better than she gave herself credit for. It was the intimacy and the opening up and the trust that went into showing someone else what you have created. There was a slightly worrying aspect to her drawings though since art comes from inside and that inspiration had to be from something, but I was aware of her dark past so I could understand. It wasn't like I hadn't turned to art to express the darkness inside before.
She giggled and shook her head. "I dunno why, they're not that good."
"No, it's not about that, but also stop saying they're not that good - they are! You can trust me on that because I went to art school," I grinned smugly, knowing she wouldn't be able to fight me on it now.
"Ugh, I guess you're the expert out of the two of us," she laughed.
"Exactly, so you gotta take my word for it. But seriously, thank you for trusting me enough to show me these. It's daunting sharing your art with someone, so I feel really special that you showed it to me."
She smiled shyly and looked down at her hands briefly before her eyes flickered back up, full of excitement when they met mine.
"So... should we start?"
"Yes, let's do it," I chuckled.
We spent the first hour going over technique, deciding it could be helpful if I showed her some things first and then she could try implementing them into what she would draw afterwards.
After that, we spent the rest of the time sketching, drawing, and talking. Conversation went from light hearted and joking to more serious, deeper topics, to me telling her about tours and music and the band in general. In return, she told me about her life before Frank, both good and bad, her life at the hospital, and how much the band meant to her and how we helped her through those times.
In other words, it was the two of us connecting with each other and using art as an excuse to do it. It felt really good.
She had opened up to me a little on the Fourth, but this was on a completely different level. I could see what Frank meant when he would say how hard a life she has had. There were things she was telling me, sounding so casual and nonchalant, that would make me stop and look at her while my heart was breaking, yet she seemed so indifferent to it. But the way she would light up when talking about something she loved, or her eagerness to listen to what I had to say warmed my heart. I could also understand the fondness Frank has for her and why it made him so happy to see her happy.
"How are you doing? Like, overall? I feel like I haven't really seen you last weekend when I picked you up and took you back to Franks." I asked after a while, trailing off.
The air became thick with what I was referring to but refusing to say explicitly.
Lexa set her pencil down on the table gently and sighed. "I-I'm really sorry about that."
"No! Don't apologise, I didn't bring it up because of that - I just wanted to see how you're doing."
"Uhh, I'm okay. Tired, but that's nothing new," she laughed, but it didn't sound as light as before. "And I am going to apologise for it. D-did Frankie tell you what happened?" she asked, looking at me with furrowed eyebrows.
I knew Frank's side of what had happened but I didn't know hers. I saw first hand the panic he spiralled into at the thought of losing her like that, but I didn't know what had led up to it or what happened afterwards. He called me that night to say it was a false alarm and she was okay, but there was more to it, I just wasn't going to ask because he had told me as much as he had wanted to.
"He told me bits," I settled on, hoping it would prompt her to continue.
She sighed and fiddled with her hands. "I uh, I'm guessing he told you about the letter?"
I nodded. "Yeah, he called me when he found it."
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, pushing some hair out of her eyes. "So I found that in my bag when I was cleaning it out before school started, y'know, trying to start fresh and all that bullshit. The only reason I have that bag was because I had it with me when... um, when I was taken to hospital back in Baltimore, so someone had obviously taken it there with me. I forgot the letter was even in there, but when I found it, it was like when you're cleaning out your room and you find a bunch of things that you'd forgotten about and the memories of them come back and you're like 'how did I forget about this?' and you get stuck in the nostalgia trap. When I reread it, everything from that day came back. Everything. It was... a lot... for me to handle. I felt like I was back there alone in that park and it felt too real because that was me, y'know what I mean? Like, I did that, that was me. I had to get out, I just wanted to walk and try to clear my head, and then obviously Frank had found the letter while I was gone and when he paired it with my panicky leaving of the house I can see why he panicked. I feel so guilty about it, Gee. So fucking guilty. I'm responsible for that panic he had, that was my fault." She went silent for a moment, looking down at her hands.
"Y'know he panicked that much because he loves you and can't bear the thought of losing you," I said softly.
The corner of her mouth tugged up ever so slightly. "Yeah, I know. I don't deserve that much love," she laughed sadly, shaking her head.
"That's not true," I frowned.
"I don't know, that's just how I see it," she said quietly. Before I could protest, she continued where she left off. "So then when you dropped me home and I realised what he was thinking, we had this big emotional talk and cried for like the whole night - it was nice though. I like talking about things like that with him, I've never really been able to do that before without it turning into a full blown lecture or getting yelled at. He's a very loving, understanding person, I'm so lucky to have him."
I tried to conceal my smile from hearing her talk about Frank with such high regard. They loved each other so much.
"I'm glad you were able to talk it out. Talking things out solves pretty much every problem."
She nodded, staring blankly at the table like she was lost in thought.
"How's school going?"
"It's... okay. It's kinda rough to be honest, but I expected that. I just didn't expect it to be so rough, y'know?"
I nodded and hummed. "Yeah, I get that. They say it's the best years of your life but I disagree on that," I chuckled.
"Good to know," she nodded and looked over to me, a smile grazing her lips.
I noticed she hadn't picked her pencil up as she leaned her elbow on the table, her chin in her hand. All of a sudden, she looked completely exhausted.
"You wanna call it there for tonight?"
"Is that okay?" she asked softly. "It kinda just hit me all of a sudden how tired I am. I think the week's finally caught up to me."
"Yeah, course. We've been at it for a few hours so we should probably stop there. It's probably time to check on Mikes and Frankie, anyway, make sure they haven't killed each other or something," I chuckled, making Lexa laugh. "We can do this again next week if you wanna?" I asked hopefully.
Lexa smiled lazily and nodded, beginning to gather up her pencils. "That would be so much fun. Thank you for today, Gee, I really enjoyed this," she beamed, and when she looked over to me I could see the warmth in her hazel eyes.
"So did I," I grinned, attempting to gather up my own and hand Lexa back hers which were mixed up in the mess of our supplies. We had both managed to spread our stuff out while we were drawing and things were scattered across the table.
The truth was, I had enjoyed this just as much as she seemed to. While I loved doing art and being up in my studio and fulfilling that creative drive, sometimes it got lonely spending all that time alone. The company was nice, and it was nice to bond with Lexa during that time.
"Oh uh, did you wanna see that other drawing - the one I didn't show you before?" she asked gently, biting her lip.
"If you'd like to share it then of course," I smiled encouragingly, hoping to not sound too eager. I didn't want to force her to show me, but I was curious. It seemed like it was more her not wanting to share it earlier rather than being embarrassed of its quality, it must've been something really personal.
She began flicking through her pages before she came across it, biting her lip before handing it to me open on the page.
Taking it in my hand, I held it up to get a good look. It was a singular page with a thick vertical line running down the middle, dividing it into two halves. Each half had another vertical line running down the middle of it, with dozens of smaller horizontal lines crossing it, filling most of the white page.
In all honesty, I was confused. I wasn't sure what it was meant to be, but it obviously had some kind of meaning to her.
"It's kinda dumb and definitely not worthy of showing, but uh, that's it," she smiled half heartedly before it fell, rubbing her arm before looking down.
She seemed slightly nervous, like she was worried about how I would react. I handed it back to her with a reassuring smile.
"I'll be honest, I'm not entirely sure what it is or what it represents, but I can see it means something to you and it took a lot to show me, so thank you for sharing that with me, Lexa. You didn't have to but I appreciate it."
When she looked up at me I noticed she had tears in her eyes.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked softly, stepping closer to her so I could give her a hug.
"Y-you j-"
She shook her head and began crying softly into my chest.
"Shh, just breathe," I encouraged. Rubbing her back gently, I looked around the room, unsure of what exactly brought this on or how to help her. I didn't exactly want to go get Frank because then both he and Mikey would know something was wrong and it felt wrong to do that to her. This felt like a private moment between us.
She moved slightly so I released my arms from around her, for her to then place the sketchbook she was still holding back on the table. She then turned back to me and wrapped her arms around my torso, burying herself in my chest as she softly cried. Unsure of what else to do, I repeated soothing words to her and hugged her tightly, not letting go until it passed.
After some time, her grip around me loosened and she pulled away.
"You okay?" I asked, lightly rubbing her shoulder.
She sniffed and nodded, looking down at her feet. "Y-yeah, I'm sorry," she mumbled.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
She wiped her face with her sleeve before looking up at me, her eyes red and her face blotchy, shaking her head.
"Okay," I said softly. "You wanna wait a couple minutes before going downstairs?" I asked, getting the feeling she was embarrassed enough - not that she had anything to be embarrassed about.
"Y-yes please," she laughed weakly.
"I can get you a glass of water if you'd like?" I offered.
She shook her head again as she leaned against the table. "Nah, it's okay. I just need a minute. Thank you though," she whispered.
"I'm here for you, Lexa, whenever you need me."
"Thank you, Gee," she whispered.
When she met my eyes, I understood what Frank meant when he said that there were moments where you could see how much pain they held, it making my heart shatter. She looked so innocent yet so hurt, it was painful to see.
I wondered what caused her sudden change, and also what changed her mind on showing me that drawing in the first place. The two must have been linked, but it didn't feel right to ask the question. Instead, I smiled at her warmly before giving her another hug, this one quicker, but the love was still there.
FRANK
"No!" Mikey cried as I sped past him after his car drove off the track.
Mikey and I started with a new game he got, but we ended up going back to Mario Kart when we hit a point we were stuck at.
"Yes!" I cheered, laughing.
"I'll get you for that," he threatened, shaking his head.
"Good luck, but you're never gonna catch me. I'm too damn good."
Although I really only played video games when I was with the guys, I would end up taking them a bit too seriously. I was terrible at them, but if I was in the lead, my ego would jokingly become a bit out of control.
Over the sounds coming from the television, my cheering as I crossed the finish line in first place and Mikey's protests at coming 5th, I could vaguely make out the sound of footsteps behind us growing increasingly louder.
"We're done," Gerard sang as he descended the stairs, Lexa's footsteps behind him.
"Took ya time," I giggled, putting the controller down.
"We lost track of time," Gerard explained.
"Yeah," Lexa giggled softly.
I turned around, a smile on my face, seeing both Gerard and Lexa smiling too.
"You ready to go?" I asked Lexa.
She nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready."
I hopped up from the couch and grabbed my phone and keys from the table in front of me. Checking the time on my phone, I saw it was almost 9:30pm. I hadn't expected to be here this late, so I decided that we could just get takeaway for dinner - we were already out anyway.
As we said our farewells, I noticed that Lexa hugged Gerard particularly tightly. He whispered something to her and she nodded before he rubbed her back and let her go, giving her an encouraging smile.
"Give her some extra love tonight, yeah?" he mumbled in my ear as I hugged him goodbye.
I furrowed my brows at him but nodded, wanting to ask questions but knowing now was not the time.
As I turned to face Lexa, I could see the very slight blotchiness in her face, her eyes slightly puffy and red. She smiled at me tiredly and I knew immediately she'd been crying.
"Alrightly, let's get you home," I said softly, slinging my arm over her shoulder, knowing she wouldn't want me to draw attention to how she was feeling in front of Mikey and Gerard, although there was no doubt in my mind that Gerard had a better idea as to what it was about than I did.
I knew she would be able to see through it though. We had developed this ability to communicate with each other without words so there was no doubt in my mind that she knew I knew something was wrong.
This was confirmed when she leaned into me and subtly grabbed the side of my shirt, a habit she had developed for when I would hold her close when she was upset.
We said a final goodbye to the Way's and left, walking to the car with her by my side, still holding on.
"How 'bout we get some pizza for dinner and watch a movie?" I suggested, a small smile playing at my lips.
She looked up at me and nodded, her eyes shining. "That sounds good."
I couldn't quite work it out. She seemed upset and wanting comfort and to be close to me, but it was like she was happy at the same time, although relieved might have been a better word for it. Almost like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and although it was emotional it was cathartic. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, Gee tended to have that effect on people. I decided I'd ask her about it later.
We hopped into the car and I started the engine. Lexa began rifling through the console for the cd's, flipping through until she found one she was wanting to listen to before taking it out of its case and putting it into the stereo. Warmth filled my chest as I thought about how much she had grown since I met her. The first time I took her out, she was asking if she was allowed to put the window down and was hesitant picking what cd to play. Now, she went straight to it without a second thought. I loved seeing those small progressions in her. They were things she probably wasn't even conscious of, but they warmed my heart.
"What?" she asked softly when she caught me watching her.
"Nothing," I dismissed, shaking my head and smiling fondly.
She glared at me before giggling, relaxing back into the seat as I began driving.
ALEXA
"Did ya have fun today?" Frank asked as we sat on the couch together, our empty pizza boxes on the coffee table, a comedy movie we were only half watching playing on the television.
"Did I have fun? Of course I had fun!" I laughed.
It had emotionally draining moments, particularly at the end, but overall it felt great. Opening up to Gee had felt like I could breathe just a little bit easier. It seemed like the more I shared things, the less power they held over me. It was a new, scary concept, but I kind of liked how it felt.
Frank's lips curved into a smile as he pulled me into his side. "I'm glad."
"Gee was giving me tips on how to do things and like how to angle my pencil for different effects and how to like, do my proportions better and oh my god it was just so cool! Like, he's so smart and talented and he makes it look so easy, meanwhile I'm like erasing the line I drew about 50 times before I'm happy with it."
Frank laughed and nodded. "Yeah, he's like that. But hey, it's cool you have someone like him to learn off. He's incredibly talented."
"I know! It was literally the coolest thing ever watching him draw," I confessed, still smiling.
We curled up to each other and I rested my head on Frank's shoulder, letting out a deep breath as I momentarily closed my eyes, trying to process the day. It began with the usual insults and shoving and bitchiness and getting beaten up, then ended with drawing with Gerard Way. If I could have told myself a year ago that that would happen, I would've laughed and died on the spot.
Frank waited for the next lull in the movie before speaking again. "You okay, darling?" he asked softly.
Of course he knew. I wasn't even surprised by his question - if anything, I was surprised he didn't ask it the instant we got into the car.
Sighing, I nodded. "I um, I just told Gee some things and showed him the things I had drawn and it was kinda emotional," I laughed softly, running my fingers down the length of my tangled hair. I really should brush it more than I do.
"Little bit of bonding time?" he asked, a smile in his voice.
"Yeah," I nodded. "It was... it was really good," I admitted, a smile tugging at my lips.
I was kind of surprised that Frank hadn't asked to see what I'd drawn. I guessed it was because he had been around Gerard for so long and so he knew showing people your art is a really personal thing and it's better to wait for the person to offer rather than straight up ask.
"Do you wanna see what I drew today?" I asked quietly, turning to face him.
In the soft, flickering glow of the television screen, I could see his face light up and he nodded.
"I'd love to," he said warmly.
Frank paused the movie. Biting my lip, I peeled myself away from him and retrieved my sketchbook from my bedroom.
As I came back down the stairs, I flicked through the pages until I got to the one from today. I smiled at it, it being the first resemblance of a happy drawing that I had ever attempted.
Frank turned around eagerly, a kind smile on his face as I approached the couch, holding the sketchbook against my chest.
"Please don't laugh, it's kinda bad," I said sheepishly, meeting his eyes.
"I'm sure it's not."
His confidence in me warmed me on the inside and gave me the courage to hand him the book, although I watched him nervously as I gauged his reaction.
"It's uh, it's not what I usually draw, but um, yeah..." I spluttered, trying to fill in the silence since Frank hadn't said anything and it had been at least thirty seconds.
"Lexa," he said softly, not lifting his eyes off the page as he touched it with his hand, running his fingers over it. "You drew this?"
When he glanced up at me, I could see tears in his eyes.
"I uh, yeah." I gave him a shy smile, rocking back and forth on my heels. "It's meant to be you and me, if you couldn't tell," I laughed airily, playing with my hands.
It was a really terrible drawing of two figures, one smaller and one larger. Darkness was surrounding the smaller one, but the bigger one was holding her hand, pulling her out of it and into the light. It was lame and cliche and poorly drawn, but it was depicting how I felt about Frank and how he came into my life, helping me escape the past and the pain and showing me things I never thought I could have, giving me a better life.
He sat the book down on the couch and got up, engulfing me in a massive hug that took me by surprise.
"It's not that good," I chuckled, wrapping my arms around him.
Frank shook his head, holding me close. I breathed in his familiar scent - cologne and the faintest hint of cigarette - and smiled. Everything about him was comforting, allowing me to melt into his embrace with ease.
"It's not that," he whispered, "I just love you so damn much."