the next two weeks of may are much the same.
distance in class. quiet at lunch. apart in the common room.
and then he comes striding into the potion's lab every friday, a smirk on his lips and his eyes glued to mine.
arrogant, confident, and god damn gorgeous.
at the end of may, my resolve is fading. i'm rationalizing returning his smirks. i find myself moving closer to him in groups. laughing and pressing my shoulder against his as we walk between classes.
things are better— they seem better.
i haven't been to the room of requirement since the accident, nearly a month ago. theo's kept me in the loop— somewhat— although he says he can't talk about much.
it makes it all the more easier to pretend. pretend he isn't— doing what he's doing.
pretend he's just a boy. just a boy who fell for a girl and is doing everything he can to win her back.
and i'm starting to believe i just might let him.
the third friday in may he doesn't come walking through the door, however, blaise does. looking jovial as ever, his bag slung over his shoulder as his teeth shining in a wide smile.
"i've been put on potion's duty it seems, malfoy's in a right mood today," he huffs, tossing his bag down onto the floor and then making his way over to me. "you would've ripped each other's heads off— trust me— i deserve a thank you—"
"is he alright?"
blaise rolls his eyes, walking over to stand next to me. "he's all for the dramatics— just having a fit over the cabinet, per usual. don't know why— he's gotten it to work you know— even sent me to borgin and burke's last week—"
"wait, the cabinet's working?" i drop the knife i was holding, the metal clattering against the countertop.
blaise shrugs, "yeah— i thought nott had been filling you in—"
"he has been but he never mentioned—"
"oh," blaise says, his face falling. "oh fuck, i wasn't supposed to tell you— was i?"
i turn to face him, blinking my eyes, my jaw gone slack.
"please don't tell nott— or god forbid malfoy, they'll crucify me, y/l/n—"
"yeah— okay," i nod quickly, seeing his face fill with worry. "secret's— safe with me i suppose."
"good god, thank you," blaise sighs, falling back onto the stool behind him, a hand on his chest.
i'm still stuck, thinking of the possibilities now that the cabinet's working. any day now. everything could change.
what the hell is draco waiting for? some kind of signal? he was meant to do this ages ago so— why doesn't he?
unless he's planning on not doing it— as i've suggested time and time again. fess up and in exchange for his assistance be granted immunity by the order.
that would be the smart thing to do.
but— although draco malfoy is the smartest wizard of our age— he didn't tend to make very wise decisions.
"when is he—" i clear my throat, steadying myself on the table. "is he planning on— going through with it all?"
blaise tenses beside me, his fingers curling in the fabric of his dress pants.
he hangs his head, hesitates, and then looks up at me— eyes dim and a frown on his face.
he nods— and my heart breaks.
"july," blaise whispers, his voice cracking. "he'll do it in july."
__________________________
i wish i could have seen draco in june. talked some sense into him. placed him on a different path.
but i couldn't reach him anymore.
he had made his decision— and was determined to be sure i was no part of it.
theo came to make the potion that month. draco sat as far away from me in classes as possible— if he decided to show up.
i tried to linger after class to speak to him, but he would rush away or catch someone else in a conversation before words could even leave my lips.
i tried to go to the room of requirement.
the door didn't appear for me anymore.
blaise says it's because draco's intention when using the room is secrecy. it's for his mission.
anyone against his mission won't be able to find him.
blaise says theo can't enter anymore either— not unless blaise is with him.
i go to sit next to draco at mealtimes. he turns away. moves next to urquhart a couple times, a clear sign that means i'm unwelcome.
i stay up in the common room, rehearsing what to say to him, thinking of a script that could finally knock some sense into him.
he's never there.
i never catch him in the library, or after quidditch practice, or anywhere else i could think to look for him.
he's practically disappeared from my life— just a flash of blond rushing away from me in the halls.
so i'm left to worry, for all of june, waiting for everything to fall apart. for blaise to run into my dorm and deliver news— good or bad. that draco had finally done it. dumbeldore was dead. would draco have gotten away with it?
or would he be gone too?
__________________________
june 30th, i'm wondering if tomorrow will be the day. blaise said july.
it's finally a bit nicer out, and i've been putting off my astronomy observations all week due to rain or wind.
once it's dark enough to see the stars, i wrap a thin cloak around myself and tuck my books into a bag, waving goodbye to daphne and pansy and then leaving out of the dorm.
i'm just about to leave the common room when crabbe comes rushing in, looking completely out of it. out of breath. a paper clutched in his fist.
"crabbe? are you alright—?"
"draco— this is from—" he heaves, doubling over and clutching his stomach. "fuck— he made me run all the way down here." he mumbles, shutting his eyes tightly and then looking to me again.
he extends the arm holding the paper, thrusting it into my hands.
"he told me— to give this— to you," crabbe gets out shaking his head and then collapsing back onto the nearest chair.
i slowly look down to my hands, shaking around the piece of parchment, and hastily unfold it.
i'm assuming zabini or nott told you.
leave the school, y/n, please. the ward's end on the outskirts of the pitch. you'll be able to apparate. get somewhere safe. i don't know what will happen after today. they're coming.
get parkinson out for theo.
remember you promised me when it came to this you wouldn't do anything stupid. please, don't do anything stupid.
i don't know when i'll be back, or when i'll be able to speak to you again.
let's hope the next letter you receive from me isn't sent from azkaban, yeah?
i ———
thank you, for everything,
draco
the last line is scribbled over, but it doesn't take a genius to work out what it might have said.
the paper falls from my fingers as my bag slips from my shoulder— and in a second i'm off.
__________________________
i send a patronus to daphne and pansy, telling them to get in a safe space. as i run up to the room of requirement, my hearts racing, pumping hard beneath my chest.
for the first time in over a month, the door appears for me, and the second it finishes materializing i'm pushing my way inside.
the room's a cluttered mess.
books, everywhere. clutter covering the entire expanse of the floor.
blaise and theo, staring at the open cabinet before them.
"where is he?" i say immediately, the door still hanging open behind me.
the turn around suddenly, eyes wide as they meet mine.
"gone, he—" theo breaks, shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling. "he didn't tell us—"
he hits his forehead, beginning to pace in circles, his voice trailing off.
"fuck!" blaise shouts, kicking a stack of books on the ground at the wall. "he's a fucking idiot, i told him i would help—"
"he doesn't want our help, blaise!" theo shouts back at him, throwing his arms up in the air as he spins to face blaise. "you know he was never actually going to let us—!"
"well then maybe you should've been keeping a better eye on him so he didn't pull some shit—"
"i should've kept a better eye? you're fucking with me, zabini—"
"stop it! both of you!" i scold, stepping forward. they both back away from each other, still fuming but looking somewhat ashamed. "now explain— calmly— what happened. because all i have is some ominous letter from draco telling me to flee the castle— which i'm sure as hell not doing."
"fuck," theo mutters, "pansy—"
"i told her to leave," i assure him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "although, i can't guarantee she'll listen to me—"
as if on que, daphne and pansy come rushing into the hall. daphne looks determined. pansy looks like she's just been slapped in the face.
"where's the fucking idiot that decided to do this whole ordeal on such short notice?" daphne huffs, crossing her arms and looking between all of us.
theo's rushed away from me, reaching for pansy, holding her by her upper arms and assessing her.
"daph told you—?"
pansy nods, looking nervously back at him. "i— i should've known. you've been acting so—"
"pans, you have to leave. please," theo says, his voice breaking.
the rest of us go silent, and pansy's face hardens and she straightens, no longer leaning her weight onto theo.
"no," she says plainly, shrugging her shoulders. "i'm not just running away—"
"pans," theo sighs, reaching for her arm again.
"are you making y/n leave?" pansy raises her eyebrow, "or daphne?"
theo's silent, pressing his lips together.
"that's what i thought," pansy tilts her head. "i'm staying," she nods, turning to face all of us.
"so— draco's a death eater and he's about to kill dumbledore?" she chuckles to herself, shaking her head. "why am i not surprised?"
she smirks, looking back up to all of us and crossing her arms.
"well? what are we going to do to stop him?"
__________________________
we can hear the screaming even from the seventh floor. the crashing of chandeliers breaking. the ghosts rushing through the halls and shouting for students to retreat into their dormitories.
we ignore it all, rushing down the halls towards the astronomy tower— where theo is almost positive draco was headed.
then— i see an out.
snape.
up ahead in the hall, i see him ushering first years down into classrooms, blockading the doors and hastily placing wards around them.
i don't bother to explain to anyone my plan, not even sure how much the guys know about snape's heavy involvement in draco's life.
i rush past theo and blaise until i'm at snape's side, tugging on the arm of his cloak.
"professor—"
"miss y/l/n!" snape says, a scowl on his face. "as a prefect you should be escorted your house back to the dormitories—"
"i know, professor, it's draco—"
"he is not your concern, miss y/l/n—"
"he's going to do it, snape." i say more seriously, straightening up. i step in front of him as he tries to turn away.
"you need to stop him—"
"i'm afraid there's nothing i can do, miss y/l/n, he's made his decision—"
"he'll go to azkaban," i say under my breath, stepping towards him again. i can see my group of friends over snape's shoulder, looking on with confusion.
i'm sure theo and blaise are vaguely aware that snape is cognizant of draco's... condition. but i'm nearly positive they don't know the extent.
an unbreakable vow with your professor is hardly something you publicize.
"snape. he can't do this—"
"it seems as though he has, miss y/l/n—"
"don't make him do this—"
"as i said, it's not my decision—"
"you have to invoke the vow," i say with finality, lifting my chin and staring him dead in the eye.
i see the shock pass over him— briefly. he's good at concealing him. his face twitches for a moment, just a moment, before he's staring back at me.
"he should not have told you about that—"
"he didn't tell me," i shrug, "i overheard you. as did harry po—"
"hush!" snape warns, sharpening his eyes.
i almost smile.
he swallows, and takes breath, looking back at the others looking on.
he looks back to me, "where is he?"
i do smile.
"astronomy tower," i say, and in a second snape's cloak is swishing away.
__________________________
we're going back to the dungeons. theo says we should. it's where it's safest. draco is out of our hands now— we need to fight for ourselves.
he's the only voice of reason we have anymore.
we haven't seen crabbe or goyle— we can only pray they're okay. that they found each other and we're locked down somewhere with everyone else.
the great hall is a mess. glass everywhere. books are torn in the hallways.
dark figures in masks swish around corners, attempting to keep a low profile.
we pass more than one first year crying in corners, and gather as many as we can manage to take back with us.
we're about to turn to the stairs when we see it.
everyone staring out in the courtyard— frozen.
frozen in circle, all staring at the same spot on the ground. the same object, lying limp before them, making the world stand still.
dumbledore.
dumbledore's dead.
__________________________
dumbledore's dead 🥳🎉🍾🤝
time to celebrate xoxo
maybe a few more chapters of sixth year :( i'm thinking seventh year will be mostly summarized. then the battle, aftermath, etc. then like a little epilogue moment. that's that on that.
additionally: work on the next book is going well, so the second this book ends you WILL have another series to start reading :)
—> the next book i'm writing is a different story. still draco though