Bismillaah hir Rahman nir Raheem.
Entering the hotel, she sighed.
What has gone wrong with her?
Why did she act so stupid?
Deep down, she knew that it was the deck of the moment and her brain wasn't functioning very well. One thing she was so sure of was, no one deserved her after what she has gone through.
There is a pile of reasons and cons on her. Well for starters, she was a divorcee and not a virgin. As horrible as it sounds, it's her bitter truth. She has been used once and when she didn't give anymore usage, she was dumped. She feels like trash, her insides churned whenever she was reminded of her tragedy. Even if she doesn't address it loud, she feels horrible inside.
Then comes the main part of being a woman. Women give birth to children and she lacked that. She was flawed, inside and out.
It's the fact.
She can't hide, or run away or even forget about it. It's her bitter reality. No one best deserved her. If someone, perhaps, who would deserve to marry her again would be the one who has sailed the same ship as her.
He could be an aged man, a divorcee as well, a man who has children to take care of, someone like that. She has fixed that in mind long back because she cannot burden her parents even more.
About Maahi? Well, he was out of her league.
Crushes happen to teenagers, while adults fall in love. She is an adult now and for her, the word 'Love' is deceiving and more like betraying.
Once the one she loved didn't reciprocate it back, cheated on her, betrayed her trust, deceived her with lies and after causing all the turmoil, he didn't take a stand when her boat was sinking. He let her go, sink in the abyss.
The above one was enough of a lesson for a lifetime to haunt her nights. And what assurance could one give for the sentence "All Men Are The Same" because they are the same in the reality?
How would she be hundred percent sure that perhaps Maahi or someone other than him would be any different?
Oh! Does those kind act? They do them to make the lady in act to fall for them and when they finally achieve their mission, they don't even spare a second glance.
She has promised herself one thing, she would eventually think about her second marriage, but only with the one who is in the lowest of the lows like her. Because she knew she won't be happy again and she wants to settle with the one who is on the same page as her. All for one reason, they would know her pain and understand her the way she should be understood. To trust with the fact that she wasn't the one who did the mistake in the past and they would not account her for the things she shouldn't be accounted for.
Finally, the main topic of discussion is to be concluded for the last time and she wanted to clear her head of his thoughts. He was in the same city as her and there would be a lot of coincidences happening in the future, so, she should be sure of one thing, she was over him and she would ignore him to the best of her abilities so that, he won't notice her in the crowd, because he deserved someone better and someone who is not 'her'.
...
After a week-long search, they found solace in a 2BHK Apartment. It was semi-furnished with all the furniture they would need and came with a wide-open balcony.
Jesima had already started her college and Shabna's days passed searching for some good offerings. She spent her time doing ibadah and trying some new dishes, which, at the end of the day would be loved by her friend.
Once Jesima commented as she filled her mouth with chicken pasta which was baked with a good amount of cheese on top, "Shabna! I took you here for how incredibly you cook."
"Meanie! Sometime before you said you took me here for being happy," Shabna had replied faking hurt.
"Oh! That was just a passing fact."
Shabna had hit her playfully and they both had laughed at each other.
She would eventually wander the streets and know more about directions and she was very thankful for Jesima for taking her here. For once, she didn't feel strange whenever she passed someone on the road.
No one judged her for who she was or from where she came, and it gave peace to her heart. That's what she craved more than anything in this situation of hers.
After her loss, she craved to be around children, so she applied in every school, nurseries, daycare center nearby her locality. At last, she was accepted to be a third-grade class teacher.
She uttered a 'Bismillah' as she stepped inside of her class for the first time.
She smiled at the small bundles of happiness in the form of cute little ones in front of her.
"Hi, Sweets!" She beamed, "I am Shabna! Your new class teacher. May I know your lovable names, please? One by one, you go."
"Alex."
"Charles."
"Suzanne."
"Mary."
...the kids started telling their names and she followed her gaze accordingly.
"Myself Asad!" said a boy among the last benchers and ran a hand through his hair stylishly and despite herself, Shabna rolled her eyes at his over-dramatic introduction.
"I am his twin, Samad," the next one said getting up and that's when she realised the familiar faces from her previous encounter. Her pupils dilated on the memory, so Samad added, "We have met before. You were talking with my mom about the directions to the bus stop."
Shabna eyed him surprised that he had a strong memory power and she shook her head and smiled, "Yeah! Nice to meet you again."
.....
Shabna's life, for once, started to become busy. She didn't have time to hover over what had happened, instead, she started focusing on her present.
School life with children relaxed her mind, in ways she didn't expect it to.
She felt at peace.
The cool breeze of the evening flickered her hijab as she stepped out of the Principal's office. After school, she had to submit some records and she had just finished handing them to the Coordinator.
Her hands flew to secure her hijab in place. All of a sudden, her eyes flew to the familiar faces of the twins who studied in her class. It was quite late in the evening and all the students had already been out of the campus.
"What are you two doing here? Don't you have a ride?" She asked, walking to them.
"Maam! We have. But our ride hasn't arrived." Samad said out loud.
"Oh!" Her mouth turned into an 'O' shape.
"I was telling him that we can go home on our own." Asad started and when Shabna eyed him curiously placing her hand over her hip, "Come on Maam! After all, we are grown-ups."
"Are you?" She asked and he turned slightly pink, "I don't see any grown-ups here." She said sitting beside him.
"Yeah, Maam! I am."
"How?"
"I have two bros."
"Bro?" She turned towards Samad, "What is even a bro?"
"He and his stupid bro code rules, Maam, which no one follows."
"Samad! For your kind information. Ali used to follow all my rules until.."
"He was married to Fathima," Samad finished and turned towards Shabna who looked puzzled at the exchange, "Maam! Asad wants to grow up as soon as possible so he keeps friendships with big guys like Ali who is my sister's husband and Maahi."
"Maahi follows my rules." Asad pouted, folding his hands.
"He doesn't!" Samad shook his head, "You were grumpy with him even today morning that he accompanied Maam and her friend without asking you, remember?" Now, it was Shabna who turned red.
Silence encompassed them and she did not know what to talk more about. Samad had a wide grin on his face that he won the conversation and Asad looked ahead, his hands still folded in his stomach which meant he was still not over the facts that what was stated to him.
Soon enough, a red SUV was parked in front of them and got out the protagonist of our story. Maahi closed the door behind him, fixed his white shirt, and ran a hand through his hair.
"Boys sorry for being late. Chachi called me that she's ill and wanted me to take you home..," he said walking towards them. When his eye fell over Shabna who was sitting between the twins did the realistion hit him and he stopped in mid-sentence.
At once she was on her toes, "I think I should take my leave now. See you tomorrow, In shaa Allah." She smiled awkwardly, grabbing her handbag. Her eyes everywhere but not once cast towards him.
Samad grabbed her hand before she could walk away and she turned around to glance at him.
"Maam! One moment please." He called her waving to bend to his height.
Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion but nevertheless, she bent down.
"Thanks for being with us." He smiled and suddenly, she was surprised when he pecked her cheek. It was a small gesture, but she felt her heart sore with love for the little one.
When she came back from her reverie, unknowingly her gaze flickered to Maahi who was leaning against his car, folding his hands over his chest just like Asad or perhaps Asad got all his actions from his brother. His expression was clear amusement.
She waved her hand one last time and walked away without turning her back.
.....
Maahi turned the steering towards the left as he once again looked through the rearview mirror at the twins who were seated in the back seat.
Samad had a goofy smile across his face as he leaned against the window. And Asad had a hand over his cheek as he was thinking something, which he couldn't decipher what.
"So?" he started.
Both the boys turned to face him.
But before Samad could reply, Asad jumped in, "Yes! She was the one who you accompanied for a walk."
"I remember that but how come she is..." he couldn't finish his sentence because again Asad barged in, "She's our class teacher."
"Oh! Okay." He added two and two in his brain and everything clicked at the place.
He drove through their street and stopped the car in front of their home.
"And what is-" he was again stopped mid-sentence.
"I know you would want to know her name but I would never, ever tell you that her name is 'Shabna' and I am still mad at you." He finished and closed the door with a thud and ran inside.
Maahi rolled his eyes at Asad's mood swings and exchanged a look with Samad, next moment they both ended up laughing.
"He is such an idiot." Samad commented as he got down from his seat, "He gave away her name, without you even asking for it " He closed the door behind him.
When he was left alone did he ponder over the name,
Shabna.
......
For a person like Shabna! It's normal to have an inferiority complex after what she has endured.
And the characters of this book will grow, learn lessons, and mature as the chapters unfold. So don't judge this book, with the cover.
Even a minute detail mentioned in this book is important for the story to lead.
This small rant is because of the starting of this chapter. In real life, Anyone in Shabna's shoes will have the same mentality. So I want to make it clear to you all. The book won't be filled with cliche, it would rather show the real side of life.
....
How was the chapter?
On one to ten, how much you would vote for Maahi?
Asking again, which one is your favorite character in this book?