Hate That I Love You Still (S...

By scoutbrothel

92.5K 1.5K 4.1K

Spencer Reid and Y/N were past-time lovers in high school. But as graduation came about, their relationship w... More

1. before, part 1
2. before, part 2
3. after
4. wheels up
5. bottoms up
6. inner turmoil
7. girls night
8. moving day
9. boxed memories
10. watch your back
11. finally
12. home...maybe?
13. surprise!
14. making amends
16. forgiveness
17. leave us alone
18. teamwork
19. remember me forever
20. recovery
21. us, always
NOT A NEW CHAPTER

15. haven't seen u in a while

3.3K 64 198
By scoutbrothel

a/n:

chapter photo from Pinterest.com

thank you for all the comments and votes! I appreciate them all and I read every single comment <3

!!!!! slight mention of s8 spoiler !!!!!

disclaimer: I'm not from Las Vegas by any means so I apologize for any inaccuracies!

─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───

"Y/N, are you okay?" Spencer asks as your dad pushes you back to your original spot at the table.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You croak, your voice cracking from your tears earlier. You were a little better now, especially with what happened with your dad. You weren't expecting him to talk to you like that since he never did growing up. It was almost...nice.

Spencer looks at you deeply, trying to see if you are lying or not.

"Don't profile me, Spencer. Please." You say, trying to keep calm.

"Okay. Sorry." He says as he slowly takes his eyes off of you. You notice the food is now at the table, and everyone except you, your dad, and Spencer have already started eating.

"Why haven't you eaten yet?" You turn to Spencer.

"I was waiting for you to come back. Didn't want to start without you." He shrugs, picking up his fork to begin eating.

"Aw, you are so sweet Spencer! How do you not have a girlfriend?" Kendra says beside Spencer. You internally cringe, but not because of your situation with Spencer. But because of Maeve. You understand it is still a touchy subject for him, despite how jealous you are of her.

"You don't have to answer that, Spence." You say, resting a comforting hand on his.

He mouths thank you to you, and you all continue eating. You can tell Kendra is annoyed that Spencer ignored her question, but frankly you and everyone else don't care. Once everyone is finished eating, your parents insist on covering the bill for everyone.

"Thank you, you guys really didn't have to pay for me." Spencer says, truly grateful.

"Spencer, you are family! Don't even worry about it." Your mother celebrates. She absolutely adores Spencer, even from the first moment you brought him home.

─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───

8 years ago

"Spencer don't worry, my mom is going to love you." You say as you watch him pace around his room for what felt like the hundredth time. "How could she not?"

"Y/N, I don't want to mess this up for you." He finally stops and looks at you. You are sitting at the edge of his bed, waiting patiently for him to calm down.

"Spencer I'm being serious! My mom will absolutely adore you." You smile, standing up and walking towards him. He turns towards you and slouches a bit. You brush off something from his shoulder and look up into his eyes.

"Please do not be worried about meeting my mom, okay? Let's go." You say rubbing his arm. He simply nods back and grabs something before you both head downstairs.

"Hi, Diana!" You say.

"What?" She says, looking disorientated. "Spencer, who is this?" She looks at him panicked.

"Mom." He sighs. "This is my girlfriend, Y/N."

"She is gorgeous, Spencer! Why didn't you tell me you had such a pretty girl by your side?" She smiles, standing up and coming up to you. This isn't the first time this has happened. In total, you've probably introduced yourself to Diana about 4 times now. It's slightly frustrating for both you and Spencer, but you put on a brave face for the both of them.

"It's nice to meet you, Diana. You've raised an amazing son here." You smile, reiterating something you've said to her in the past. Doesn't make it any less true, though.

"You really think so?" She smiles wide, looking at her son with pride. Your hand makes its way to Spencers, squeezing tightly. You know how hard it is for Spencer to see his mom like this.

"I know so." You say rubbing your thumb across the back of his hand.

"Diana, I would love to speak with you more but we are in a hurry. You enjoy the rest of your day, okay?" You say.

She sags her shoulders a bit, as if she is disappointed. "Oh, I see." She turns around quickly and returns to her seat, sitting down in a huff. She begins to chew on her nails nervously for some reason.

"Mom, would you like to come with?" Spencer asks. She looks up from her hands and completely lights up.

"What are you guys doing?" She asks, trying to deflect her excitement.

"Spencer is meeting my mom tonight." You explain. Shock takes over her face.

"Oh." Is all she says.

"My mom would love to meet you as well, Diana." You say quickly, trying to make the situation better.

She smiles once more. "I'd love to meet your mom! Let me go get ready." She says as she waves her finger to signify what she is saying.

Spencer and you sit down on the couch. You pull out your phone and text your mom that you are running a bit late and to let the restaurant know there's going to be an extra person with you guys.

"I'm sorry." Spencer sighs.

"For what?" You say, turning to him.

"For dragging my mom along with. This was supposed to be about you and meeting your mom tonight." He says.

"Spencer, I'm glad your mom is coming with. I've talked about your mom to mine for so long now, she's been wanting to meet her for a while. I'm happy this is happening." You say back. You two look at each for a moment, until you break the eye contact and kiss him tenderly.

"Okay I'm ready!" Diana walks up behind you two and scares you both apart. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment but quickly goes away.

"Alright. I hope you are okay with Italian food, Diana." You say, implying a question.

"I love Italian food." She comments back.

You nod to Spencer, and you all head out to his car. You sit in the backseat to let Diana sit in the front with Spencer. The ride to the restaurant goes by fairly quickly, and before you know it you are all settling down at the table where your mother has already seated herself.

"Hey, Y/N!" She smiles as she gets up and hugs you. "And you must be the famous Spencer, hello! I've heard a lot about you." She says as she peels herself off of you and turns to hug Spencer. He is stiff at first, but soon reciprocates the hug.

You hear Diana clear her throat behind you three.

"Mom, this is Diana. Spencer's mom." You say, stepping out of the way so she can see her.

"Hi, Diana. I'm Lauren." Your mom says sweetly, treading lightly not to scare her off. Like you said before, you've talked to your mom a lot about Diana so she is aware of the mental state she is in.

"H-hi." Diana responds, shakily sticking out her hand to greet your mom.

"Let's sit, shall we?" Your mom suggests. You sit down next to Spencer while Diana sits next to your mom.

"So, Spencer, how is school going for you?" Your mom asks, sipping on her water.

"It's going great, Mrs. Y/L/N." He smiles.

"Oh, please, call me Lauren if you want." She smiles back. He nods to show he understands.

"He is the top of our class, Mom." You say, looking at him proudly.

"Oh, is he now?"

"That's my son." Diana chimes in.

An hour passes, filled with many laughs and sentiments. You were extremely happy that Spencer has met your mom, and you can tell she loves him. You were also glad Diana had the chance to get out of the house and meet your mom as well. Today was a good day.

"Mrs. Y/L/N, Mom. I'm going to take Y/N for a quick walk if that's okay?" Spencer says, almost asking.

"Of course, honey. You two go ahead." Your mom says, as you both leave and walk out the restaurant.

"I think that went exceedingly well, don't you think?" You beam.

"Do you think your mom likes me?" Spencer asks, turning to you.

"She loves you, Spence. Honest." You look up into his eyes. He pulls you into a tight hug, all while stroking your back.

"I'm glad." He says into your hair.

─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───

"Alright, what is next on the agenda?" You prod. Everyone was full from the meal you all just ate, and were slightly tired. Maybe eating first wasn't the brightest idea.

"We are going to the Neon Museum." Your mom says as she leads the group towards the destination. Spencer insisted again on pushing you, so you look around at your surroundings as they pass you by.

"So, Spencer, how long have you been back in Las Vegas?" Kendra asks.

"Uh, well about the same time as Y/N." He replies. You can hear Kendra walking next to Spencer, but this time you decide not to entertain her conversation. You watch as the Neon Museum comes into view.

"I've been here so many times as a kid, I could show you around Spencer!" Kendra says.

"Oh, well you can show us all if you'd like?" Your mom asks innocently. You can't tell if your mom is catching onto Kendra's advances.

"Spencer, could you wheel me to the bathroom please?" You question in attempt to get him away from Kendra.

"Sure, Y/N." He branches off away from the group and towards the bathroom. Once you both are a good distance away, you speak up.

"I don't actually have to go." You state.

"I know." He says back.

"Oh do you now?" You say as you turn around to look at him.

"I can tell by the tone of your voice." He says matter of factly. "And not because I'm profiling you. Because I know you."

You smile and turn back around. "Kendra is being annoying." You huff.

"She's not that bad, is she?" He asks.

"Well if she isn't that bad why don't you go hang out with her?" You snap, crossing your arms.

"Y/N, why are you being like this?" He asks as he walks around and stands in front of you with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

You shrug. You know it's because you are jealous, but you'll never admit that to him.

"You know what I think?" He says, getting down to your eye level and resting each of his hands on the armrests of your wheel chair.

"What?" You say, tilting your head.

"I think you are jealous, Y/N."

You scoff. "As if."

His face lights up. "You are so jealous."

"No."

He rolls his eyes while smiling. "Whatever you say, Y/L/N." He grabs your wheelchair once more and wheels you back to everyone else.

"All set?" You mom says.

"Yep." You say shortly.

She looks at you suspiciously, but decides not to mention it. You all walk through the museum, looking at the various histories and other things on display. Despite Kendra's mentions of how she's been here before, Spencer wildly outperforms her in every possible way. He explains everything in so much more depth and detail than Kendra ever could; everyone is hanging off his every word. Even your dad is invested, which shocked you.

After about two hours of intense information overload and a lot of walking for everyone else, you are all done with the museum.

"Anything else planned for this extravagant tourist day, Mom?" You ask.

"Well, I had some plans to go to a casino, but if everyone is beat I have no complaints." Your mom laughs, causing your father to laugh too.

"I agree." He says.

"Up to you guys." She says, looking at you, Spencer, and Kendra.

"If it's okay with everyone, I'd like to go home. I'm very tired." You say while fighting back a yawn.

"I think I'm going to stick around the strip for a little while and get a drink. Would you like to join me Spencer?" Kendra flirts.

"I, uhhhh." He looks around like he's flustered. You again sit in your wheelchair with your arms crossed.

He looks at you, and sees you pouting tremendously. "Uh, not today, Kendra. Maybe another day." He says while you smirk a little bit.

"Alright that settles it! Home we go." You hear a cellphone go off, but this time it isn't yours. You watch as Spencer pulls out his phone.

"Dr. Spencer Reid." He says into his phone. You still have to get used to that.

"I see. I will be there soon." He says as he hangs up.

"It's my mom. I have to get going." He says.

"Can I come with?" You ask impulsively and immediately regret it. "I'm sorry Spencer, I shouldn't of asked-"

"Can you?" He asks sincerely.

"Yeah, of course Spence." You smile softly and wheel yourself away with him.

"Aw, shit. How are we going to get there?" You say.

"Fuck." Spencer says. "I didn't even realize."

"I'll order an Uber, don't worry." You pull your phone out and order the driver. "He'll be here in a few minutes."

You both head to the side of the road. He stands next to you while waiting for the car.

"What's going on?" You ask.

"It's not an emergency. My mom was just asking for me apparently." He replies.

"Oh. Can I ask you a serious question Spencer?" You look up at him.

"Yeah, sure what's up?"

"Do you think she'll remember me?"

Spencer pauses for a minutes and breathes in deeply. He ponders on what to say for a while until he finally speaks up.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Y/N. I can't promise you anything."

"I see." Before he can speak up again, you hear beeps. Your driver is here.

"After you." He signals. He helps you get up and into the car. Then, he sets your wheelchair in the back trunk.

After you feel the car shake from Spencer closing the trunk, he makes his way around the car and settles himself next to you.

"LV Treatment Center, please." Spencer directs the driver. The driver nods to show he understands.

"How do you think the team is doing right now?" You turn and ask Spencer.

He ponders for a second. "We should probably call and ask, shouldn't we?" He says finally, almost like he was reading your mind.

"Yeah." You laugh as you pull your phone out. You search your contacts and finally land on Hotch's name and dial his number.

"Agent Hotchner." He says sternly.

"Hey Hotch, it's Y/N." You say back.

"Hey, Y/N, what can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to see how you are doing with the case?"

"We've got a name of the unsub but have yet to find her." He says back.

"Her? I thought it was a male unsub."

"You know-" Spencer begins in the background but you wave your arms to shush him.

"Was that Spencer, Y/N?" Hotch asks.

You sigh. "Yes, it is. Spencer is here." You say as you switch the phone to speakerphone.

"Hi Hotch." He says.

"Hi Reid. The only thing we have left on the case is bringing the unsub in custody, so we don't need any help." Hotch sighs, "But I appreciate you calling and checking."

"No problem. Text one of us when you have her in custody." You say back.

"Of course. Bye, Y/N and Spencer."

"Bye." You both say at the same time and you hang up.

"That's good they are making progress in the case." You comment.

"Yeah, hopefully they can safely arrest her." Spencer says.

─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───

Arriving to the facility, you survey the surroundings. The building is beautifully lit up with lights and is covered in various plants. The building itself is huge- windows cover every square inch signaling rooms on every floor.

"Wow, this place is beautiful." You say, mostly to yourself.

Spencer gets out and grabs your wheelchair and helps you in. He leads you both into the building where the workers immediately recognize him and come up to him.

"Hey, Dr. Reid." One woman says. "She's doing great, I promise. She was just asking for you."

"Okay, is it okay if I bring my coworker with me?" He asks.

"She might be a little overwhelmed, but it's mostly up to you." The nurse says back.

"Okay. Follow me, Y/N." Spencer says as he leads the way once more. Diana is thankfully on the first floor, and it's not long before you both are standing outside of her room.

Knocking lightly, Spencer announces his presence to his mom. The door quickly opens as if she was waiting right by the door.

"Spencer!" She smiles as she wraps him in an intense hug. Her face is full of pure bliss up until she opens her eyes and looks down at you. You immediately recognize panic in her eyes.

"Spencer, I think I should g-" You start to say before Diana cuts you off.

"Who is this?" She states harshly.

"Mom, this is Y/N Y/L/N. We dated in high school, you might recognize her." He says as he rests his hand on his mom's arm.

"Y/N..." She thinks. "Y/N..."

"Mom, can we come in?"

"Yeah, yeah." She turns to let you both in, still trying to put her finger on your identity.

You look around Diana's apartment. It loosely reflects Spencer's aesthetic, as books line one wall. It looks a lot like Spencer's old house. Old picture frames hang off the walls, and you smile to yourself at the many baby pictures of Spencer. You try to hold back a laugh at a goofy picture of toddler Spencer.

"These pictures are adorable." You mention as you come to a stop on your wheelchair.

Spencer rolls his eyes while smiling. "It's only fair if you show me some of your baby pictures now."

"No way." You scoff. "I was an ugly baby."

Spencer smiles and rolls his eyes again. You smile at him as Diana watches you two interact.

"Y/N..." She says to herself. "I remember you. I remember going to a restaurant with Spencer and your mom. That was a good day."

"I remember that too." You grin. "My mom loved you and Spencer."

"Where have you been all these years?" Diana asks.

"Virginia." You say back. "I work at the BAU now." You say, neglecting to mention that you work with Spencer. You wanted to see if she would remember where her son worked.

"With Spencer?" Her eyes light up, almost as if she is happy she remembered a detail about her son.

"Yeah, with Spencer."

"Did you guys plan that?" She asks, looking at both of you.

"I had no idea." Spencer says. "You can imagine my surprise when she walked into our office and was there."

"Yeah, same. I had no idea whatsoever." You giggle.

"Sounds little like fate was bringing you two back together." Diana says as she wags her finger at the both of you.

"You're not the first person to tell me that." You comment. Spencer looks over at you weirdly, and you realize you just said that out loud.

"Um, so what have you been up to today, Diana?" You ask, trying to direct the attention away from you.

"Just reading. There's not much else I can do." She sighs.

"Certainly you've been reading something good though, right?" You ask.

"Ah, kind of. I've just been rereading a lot of stuff from when Spencer was a kid." She smiles, but Spencer smiles even bigger. You haven't seen him this happy in a while.

"So." Diana begins while looking at both of you. "Spencer, when are you going to ask her out again?" She smiles.

Spencer's face immediately glows bright red. "Mom-"

"Mother knows best." She says to herself. "Y/N, could I talk to Spencer for a moment alone?"

You nod your head and wheel yourself out of the room. Sitting by the door, you can't hear a word Spencer or Diana are saying. You smile to yourself thinking about what Diana said just moments ago.

"I was being serious, you know?" Diana says.

"Mom-" He says again, trying to get a word out.

"I see the way you look at her. It's the same look from when you two were first dating." She says, grinning wide.

Spencer, embarrassed, tries to cover his reddening face a little bit. "We are just coworkers, that is all." He says firmly.

"Coworkers." She repeats. "That's bull, Spencer. Suck up your pride and just ask her out again before someone else does."

"It's complicated." Spencer huffs.

"How so?"

"She did a messed up thing in the past and I don't know if I'm ready for that again."

"Is she sorry?" Diana says.

"What?" Spencer says, looking up confused.

"Is she sorry?" She repeats.

"Yeah, she is."

"Then what's the problem?" Diana inquires.

"I...I don't know."

"Well, there's your answer then, Spencer." Diana smiles and stands up. She hugs Spencer once more. "It was nice to see you, Spencer. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom. Is there a reason you asked me here?" He says, trying to hold back some tears.

"I just missed you, son. Go get your girl." She slaps his back, prompting him to leave.

Spencer waves awkwardly to her and exits her room. He looks down and sees you sitting there on your phone.

"Hey." Spencer says.

"Hey." You say, looking up at him from your phone.

"Let's get you back home, alright?"

"Sure thing, boss man." You joke, and he grins widely as he grabs your wheelchair and guides you out.

─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───

a/n: hopefully Spencer has the balls to do what his mom says.......

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