"I can't do this anymore!" you exclaimed, grabbing your car keys off the counter.
"You can't do what anymore?" your boyfriend, Kyle, asked.
"Us!"
"Y/N-"
"You and I both know it's not working, Kyle," you sighed, "We fight way too much and I can't keep putting myself through it. I'll be back for my stuff in the morning." You quickly left before he had the chance to say anything that would make you stay. You meant what you said; You couldn't do it anymore.
You rushed across town to your friend Michael's place. You and Michael weren't best friends, but you were close enough that if you ever needed someone to vent to, you knew he would listen.
You finally made it to his apartment and started knocking on the door. When the door opened, you tilted your head in confusion.
"You're not Michael," you stated obviously.
"I will take that as a compliment," the guy standing in front of you smiled, "I'm Ashton. Michael went out to... Well, I don't know what he's doing exactly, but he's not here at the moment."
"Typical Michael," you mumbled, making Ashton laugh.
"Do you want to come in a wait for him?"
"Sure," you replied, walking past him.
"Are you okay?" he asked as you both took a seat on the couch beside each other. You looked at him and he continued talking. "You seem like something's bothering you."
"Isn't there some rule about not talking about your exes with someone you just met?"
"I'm pretty sure that's on a first date," he chuckled, "And technically, we haven't met yet; I still don't know your name."
"Y/N," you said.
"Y/N," he smiled, the sound of him saying your name made your heart race, "Did you just tell me your name so you didn't have to talk about your ex?"
"Yes," you nodded. He rolled his eyes, grinning slightly.
"So you're single then?"
"Wow," you laughed nervously, "You're very upfront, aren't you?"
He shrugged, "I'm trying to be." You watched him carefully for a moment.
Call it what you will – a burst of confidence, a moment of weakness or vulnerability – but something happened inside you that you weren't expecting. You grabbed the back of Ashton's neck and pulled his head to yours, pressing your lips together. And you finally felt a spark again – something you hadn't felt with Kyle in a long time.
Ashton had just put his arm around your waist when you were interrupted by hearing the door opening. You immediately pulled away and Ashton jumped up, sitting back down on the other couch just before Michael walked through the door.
"Oh," Michael said when he realized you were there, "Hey, Y/N." You covered your mouth with your hand, happy you weren't facing him because you knew he would suspect something was up by the stupid grin on your face.
"Hey, Mikey," you said, quickly recomposing yourself before turning to look at him.
"Trouble in paradise again?" he asked, walking over and throwing the two movies he had went out to buy onto the coffee table as he sat down beside you.
"I guess you could say that," you sighed.
"What happened?"
"I broke up with him," you shrugged. Ashton was looking down at his phone, but it was obvious he was trying not to smile.
"Oh, man," he muttered, "I'm sorry, Y/N."
"It's alright," you smiled, "It was bound to happen eventually."
"Well, you can stay here until you find your own place if you need to," Michael told you, "You know you're always welcome here."
"Thanks, Mikey," you replied, laying your head on his shoulder.
"Oh! Y/N, this is Ashton," Michael said, apparently previously oblivious to the fact that Ashton was still there, "Remember how I told you I'm in a band and we needed a drummer? Well, this is him."
"We've met," you snickered, causing Ashton to start coughing.
"Dear God," Michael's eyes widened, "Please tell me you didn't have sex while I was gone."
"Michael!" you laughed, "I just met him like, 10 minutes ago!"
"You still could have done it!"
"He only lasts 10 minutes?" you smirked, looking at Ashton, "No, thank you."
"Y/N!" Michael shouted, although you could tell he was holding in a laugh.
"Michael, I can assure you: we did not have sex while you were gone."
"Well, something happened," he stated, raising his eyebrows, "And I'm gonna figure out what it was." He got up to go get a drink and you kept your eye on him until he was out of the room.
"Dinner?" Ashton whispered, making you look back at him, "Friday at 8?"
"It's a date," you smiled, leaning back in your seat.
~
The next morning, you went back to Kyle's apartment to get your stuff. Fortunately, he had already left for work and wasn't home. You packed up everything and were out the door within a couple hours.
You stayed with Michael for a few days, finally able to meet Michael's other band mates, Calum and Luke, and the four of you actually became really close.
You were lucky enough to get the available apartment across from Michael a few days later and the boys were more than happy to help you move in. Ashton was a frequent visitor, of course – which only made Michael more suspicious, but he never brought it up.
The next week, however, when Ashton arrived to pick you up for another date, Michael heard him knock on your door. He watched through the peephole as you answered and Ashton leaned forward to kiss you. He suddenly burst out of his apartment.
"I knew it!" he shouted excitedly, "I knew something was going on between you two!"
"We never said there wasn't," Ashton replied simply, draping his arm across your shoulders as you closed your door.
"Yeah, Mikey," you shrugged, "I can't believe it took you this long to say something."
"I just had to be sure!" Michael frowned.
"See you later, Michael," you shook your head, smiling as you put your arm around Ashton's waist, leading him back to the stairwell.
~
When you got back from your date with Ashton, you changed into your pajamas and decided to watch your favorite movie before going to bed. As the movie was just getting started, your phone rang. You sighed, pausing the movie and grabbing your phone. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw who was calling, but you answered anyway.
"He-" you cleared your throat, "Hello?"
"Hi, Y/N," Kyle said quietly.
"What do you want?"
"I want you back."
"Kyle," you sighed.
"Please, Y/N?" he begged, "I miss you. I-I promise I'll treat you better this time – I swear I will. Please just give me a second chance."
You had always believed in giving people second chances, but now? You were seriously questioning it. You and Ashton weren't exactly boyfriend and girlfriend, but you weren't exactly nothing either.
But you decided to give Kyle another chance anyway.
~
The next day, when Ashton came over to hang out, you knew you needed to tell him about Kyle. You had spent all day building up the courage, but chickened out each time. He was getting up to leave and this was your last chance. You got up and walked over to him.
"Ashton-" you started, but he cut you off.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" he blurted out. Your eyes widened, not expecting him to ask you that. He started panicking slightly at seeing your expression. "I know we've only known each other for like, two weeks and we've only been on three dates, but I... I really like you and I really want to be able to call you my girlfriend."
You honestly didn't what to do. On one hand, you had just given Kyle his second chance not even 24 hours ago and you didn't want to go back on it so quickly. But on the other hand, Ashton made you happier than you had been the last two years you had been with Kyle.
So you did the worst possible thing you could have done: You said yes.
~
Six months later
You had been with both Kyle and Ashton for several months now. What was going through your head during that time? You didn't know. All you knew was that you were a terrible person for it. But you also knew that if you came clean, you would lose both of them and you didn't want that to happen, so you kept the lies going. You were surprised you kept it up for so long, to be honest. But you knew it had to stop.
You decided that you would confess everything to Ashton after the band's show that night. You didn't want him to be upset or distracted during the show, so you thought afterward would be the safest option.
You were anxiously waiting in the band's dressing room, pacing back and forth. You could hear the show going on as the venue was fairly small and once they got to the last song, you felt your heart start beating in every part of your body. Honestly, you felt nauseous.
Your thoughts were interrupted when the boys came into the room cheering.
"How was the show, guys?" you asked, trying to act as normal as possible.
"It was amazing!" Michael sighed dramatically, falling onto the couch, "What were you doing in here the whole time?"
"Nothing too exciting," you shrugged, "Um, Ash... Can I...talk to you for a minute?"
"No post-show kiss?" he pouted, walking over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist. You rolled your eyes, smiling slightly, and leaned forward to kiss Ashton.
When you heard a voice break as they said your name, your head shot up toward the door and you saw Kyle standing there.
"Kyle!" you squeaked, pushing Ashton away from you, "I-"
He cut you off, "You're cheating on me?" Ashton's jaw dropped as everyone just stared at you.
"What are you doing here?" you asked, avoiding his question as well as everyone's eyes on you.
"My sister wanted to come see the show... And I saw you at the side of the stage before it started. It took me this long to convince the security guy to let me back here. I can't believe you of all people would do something like this!"
"Kyle," you swallowed the lump in your throat, "I'm sorry..."
"Tell me it didn't mean anything," he said, although you could tell he was close to tears, "Tell me it was just because he's in a band and he means nothing to you and we'll move on like it never happened." You froze and his face fell. "Y/N..."
You opened your mouth, but couldn't form any words. There was never any justification for cheating. You fucked up – you knew that – but the problem was Ashton didn't mean nothing to you.
"Y/N..." Kyle said quietly, "Tell me you regret it... Please..." You took in a shaky breath, doing your best to avoid making eye contact with Ashton.
"I can't," you whispered, shaking your head slightly. "Kyle, I... I'm sorry – I am so sorry that I did this to you. There's no excuse for what I did and there's no excuse for letting it go on for as long as I have, but I can't say those things. I can't keep lying."
"How long have you been doing this?"
"Six months," you answered under your breath.
You heard Ashton let out a breath as he collapsed on the couch. By this time, Luke, Calum, and Michael had retreated to the other side of the room.
"I can't believe this..." Kyle mumbled.
"Ky-"
"I don't want to hear it, Y/N," he said angrily, "We're done."
He walked away and you wanted to go after him, but you knew he wouldn't listen, so you turned around to look at Ashton. He had his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. You started making your way to him when Michael ran back across the room and stopped you.
"Michael," your voice broke, "I need to talk to him."
"I know you do," he said, leading you over to Calum and Luke, "But he just needs some space right now."
After what seemed like an eternity, Michael finally let you go talk to Ashton. You made your way over to the couch and took a deep breath, sitting down beside him.
"Ashton..." you said slowly as he looked up at you.
"Y-You took him back?" Ashton stuttered.
"Ash-"
"I can't believe you took him back!" he shouted, getting up and starting to pace around the room, "Was one of us not enough for you?!"
"I was being selfish, Ash!" you exclaimed, standing up as well, "And I know it was a shitty thing for me to do, but you know what? I did it anyway! But if you want me to say I would go back and change it, I'm not going to!" He froze in his spot, turning to look at you. "You clearly don't want to hear any excuses, but please just know that I'm sorry," you shook your head, "My intentions were never to hurt either of you and I knew you would find out eventually, I just didn't think it would be like this."
"You lied to us! You lied to me! Why would you think that wouldn't hurt?!"
"Ash, I'm sorry..." You honestly couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Leave," he said in a barely audible whisper.
"Ashton-"
He shook his head, "I never want to see you again."
Those words hurt you a lot more than you ever thought they could. You looked back at the other boys and gave them a slight nod as if to say goodbye.
And that was it. You didn't want to make Ashton even more mad than he already was by staying, so you left.
And you haven't seen him since.
~
Three months later
You were woken up by the irritating vibrating coming from your phone. You groaned, looking at the clock and seeing it was nearly 3am. You checked the caller ID and saw Michael's name.
"This better be important, Michael," you yawned, lying on your back.
"Have you by chance spoken to Ashton at all in the past couple months?" he asked, sounding a bit out of breath.
"You know I haven't," you sighed, "He 'never wants to see me again', remember?"
"Well, he may have meant that at the time, but he certainly doesn't now," Michael told you.
"What do you mean?"
"How fast can you get here?" he asked, a begging tone to his voice.
"Where are you?" you sighed, turning on the lamp on your nightstand and sitting up – you knew he wasn't home because he would have just come to your door instead of calling you.
"His place." You paused for a moment before answering.
"I'm on my way," you said and ended the call. You got up, threw on a pair of sweatpants, your shoes, and your jacket before heading out the door.
~
Once you got to Ashton's apartment, you knocked softly. You heard someone run to the door and you were greeted by a very exhausted looking Michael.
"What happened to you?" you asked, walking inside.
"See for yourself," he mumbled, motioning toward the drummer lying on the living room couch. Ashton was curled up on his side with an empty container of ice cream in his hand.
"Go get some sleep, Mikey," you whispered, "I'll take care of him."
"Thank you," he whined, trudging down the hallway as he was in no shape to drive himself back home safely. You watched Ashton for a few more moments before taking off your jacket and hanging it up, walking over to him.
"Ashton..." you said quietly, sitting down on the coffee table in front of him.
"Y/N!" he exclaimed, shooting up and nearly throwing the ice cream container onto the coffee table beside you as he furiously wiped his face with his sleeves, "What are you doing here?"
"Michael called me," you answered, "Ash, it's 3 in the morning. What are you doing?"
"No-Nothing."
"Ashton, eating an entire thing of ice cream by yourself at 3am with tears streaming down your face isn't nothing." He stood up and tried to leave the room, but you wrapped your arm around his waist, pulling him back as you got up. "Michael wouldn't have called me for no reason, Ash." He looked down at the hands on his sides, then back up at your face.
"I want to hear your excuses now," he stated shakily.
"I don't have any," you smiled sadly, shaking your head, "What I did was terrible and inexcusable and I don't blame you for never wanting to see me again." You let go of him and made your way back to the front door to leave. Before you could grab your jacket though, Ashton spoke again.
"Have you spoken to Kyle at all?" he asked. You turned to face him, nodding. "What did he say?"
"He forgave me," you replied, "He's still incredibly upset with me, but he said he understands."
"Understands what?"
"Why I did what I did."
"Why did you do it?"
"Kyle and I had been arguing," you explained, keeping your gaze toward the floor, "A lot more than we had been when we first started dating and I knew I had to end it... So I did. And I went to Michael's to vent about it, but you were there instead and one thing led to another..." you trailed off. "Kyle apologized a couple weeks later and promised he would make things better, so I gave him a second chance. And things were better, but I didn't feel that spark anymore – not like I felt with you," you sighed, shrugging, "And you asked me to be your girlfriend the next day and... I don't know... I guess I thought I could have both the feeling of being treated like a princess with him and the feeling of weakness you gave me. I was gonna come clean after the show – I swear I was – but then Kyle walked in and saw me kiss you and everything fell apart and there was no way I could put it back together."
You finally looked back up at Ashton as saw he was just staring at you. You quickly got your jacket and had just grabbed the doorknob when Ashton's voice made you stop.
"I could treat you like a princess," he said quietly.
"Ashton..." you said, still facing the door, "Please don't..."
"I could," he said, slowly making his way to you, "I've missed you, you know. I've missed your voice, your laugh, your touch, your lips..."
You jumped slightly when he took your jacket out of your hand and threw it onto the couch. You shivered when you felt his breath on your neck as he reached for the hand on the doorknob. He pulled you away from the door as he turned you to face him.
"You need someone who makes you feel safe all the time, not just when his arms are around you," he said, staring into your eyes and he moved his hands to your hips, "You need someone who treats you like a princess every day, not just when you ask him to." He pulled you closer to him, resting his forehead against yours. "You need someone who makes you weak every time you think about him, not just when you're with him."
"Is this your way of telling me you're giving me a second chance?" you muttered. A smile began pulling at the corner of Ashton's mouth as he tilted his head, pressing his lips to yours.
~
oh my god. i hate myself. why did i write this. that's it. i'm quitting. it's never going to get better than this.
inspiration: http://imagine5sosmembers.tumblr.com/post/110396989361/cal-imagine-youre-dating-niall-horan-and