It has been 3 months since me and Sakusa started going out and honestly, I feel nervous about it. The reason for my anxiousness is because of what couples call the "Three-Month Rule." They say that on or after 3 months, couples start to break up because the time period is enough to figure out whether you like your partner or not.
That is why today, unlike any other day, I will exert my best effort to maintain our relationship. Even if it means holding his hand or being a cutesy yet clingy girlfriend.
[ 1 message sent ]
You: Sakusa-san are you there?
Boyfriend: Good timing. I was about to call you.
—
Reading the contact name 'boyfriend' still makes me shy.
But wait, why does he want to call me? That's so unusual for him to be the initiator in phone calls.
[ 1 message sent ]
You: Oh. What is it about?
Boyfriend: Let's meet up at the park near your home. I have something to tell you in person.
You: Okayy! d(•͈ _•͈ෆ)
Boyfriend: Weird emoji by the way. Haha
—
If this was a normal situation, I would've laughed by now at how Sakusa uses 'haha' so badly in chats. But I can't shake this feeling where I feel like something's wrong. I couldn't help but think of him bringing up the "Three-Month Rule."
When we found each other at the benches, we took a stroll first before tackling about the thing Sakusa was going to tell me. Instead of enjoying our moment together, my mind was still fuzzed up with negativity. We took a break from walking, and it was then that Sakusa finally started to bring up the topic.
"L/N."
"Y-Yes?" I replied with much tense in my body.
"Why do you feel so frightened with me today?" He asked with a concerned tone. "Do you.. your feelings... did they change?"
I looked up to his eyes. Even though his face was the same emotionless one, I still saw a gleaming light of sadness. Maybe what I've been so troubled about was not true. After all, the three-month rule is just a romantic myth.
"L/N please answer me." Sakusa was needy for a response.
With his actions, I finally concluded that he was scared of me leaving him. I know that that won't happen in a million years.
"I'm sorry Sakusa-san. It's just that..." And I further told him about the non-existent three-month rule.
I gave him a moment to think with his thoughts first. After a short pause, he replied. "I know that I don't and I haven't said this to you but L/N I-I..." There was a stutter before he told his feelings. "I love you so don't worry okay? I won't break up with someone special like you."
His face turned red like a tomato, and he was starting not look me in the eyes due to embarrassment.
Is this the thing he was going to tell me? I'm so lucky to have a boyfriend like him.
And then I realized, "Wait you're right though. This is the first time you confessed your feelings for me!"
"So what?" The usual Sakusa was back.
"Let's take a memorable photo in your phone! I'm ought to remember this day."
"Why not your phone?"
Ah here it is, the selfish germaphobe Sakusa I fell in love with. (A/N: Y/N you a sadist? ರ_ರ)
"My camera is low-quality so yeah." I replied to him with a smile.
He sighed before taking his phone out from his pocket. "Fine, but spray some alcohol first."
We started to poise and fix ourselves for our first photo together. I leaned in closer to him, while he was the same with his face mask on and unsmiling eyes.
3...
2...
And when the timer snapped at 1, I saw a message popped out of Sakusa's phone.
[ 1 new message ]
Motoya Komori: Did you finally tell L/N about the grades?
—
Huh? What grades? Did we actually fail?
Snap!
The photo captured was different from what I imagined. It was like we swapped expressions. I was frowning, probably because I was thinking of the message. While Sakusa unexpectedly lifted a part of his mask, enough to reveal a smile.
"Sakusa-san, what was the message about the grades?" I asked, not minding our first ever picture together.
He didn't speak so I asked him again. For the second time, he just said 'sorry.'
"What? What do you mean?"
From then on, he explained to me how he used me for his grades. That I was just his fake girlfriend and that his parents never really wanted him to get a girlfriend. All for the sake of his ambition. Volleyball. It made me realize that he wasn't in love with me. He was in love with volleyball.
"L/N I'm really sorry. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. Gradually, I honestly developed feelings for you. I love--"
I cut him off before I could hear those cruel words from his mouth. "What if you didn't?"
"Huh?"
"What if you didn't like me?"
"That's impossible."
I wasn't minding his comments because all I feel is rage. My blood was boiling and I just wanted to slap the person whom I fell in love with.
"Then tell me Sakusa-san, am I no different from a tool?"
"No. You are not a tool, please listen to me."
He starts to grab my arm and pull me to his chest. He was hugging me so I could calm down. But I kept punching him, cursing his name from my mouth.
"I hate you Sakusa-san." I pushed him away, leaving him with the words, "I guess the three-month rule was true after all."
As I was walking away from him, I couldn't tell if it were me or him that were crying. Or maybe it was both.
.・゜-: ✧ :- Author's Note .・゜-: ✧ :-
I feel so much pain just by writing this angst,,,
also, this is my gift for valentines. I hope you enjoyed(?) :'>
— end of chapter 23—