Chapter 47
Grace’s POV
“Oh goodness Harry, It’s such a pleasure to see you again.” The women said, enveloping Harry into a hug.
I stood back, letting them exchange their hellos.
“I locked the café door behind me.” Dr. Rollins said and Harry nodded, still holding onto her tightly.
He visibly relaxed at the sight of her and I didn’t know how I felt about that. Do I really bring him that much stress just because I don’t…obey him?
He’s too protective. I can’t just give up my independence.
When Dr. Rollins and Harry were finished hugging, she glanced over to me and smiled brightly, her eyes lighting up. She was very pretty. She looked to be late forties or early fifties but she was beautiful. She was very petite and even though I was short, she came to about my nose. She was kind of what I envisioned. Her fingernails were manicured and her dark hair lay perfectly, just barely touching her shoulders. She was put together. She looked like a therapist.
I jumped, a bit surprised when she threw her arms around me. I knew I had a confused look on my face and I was even more shocked by what she said next.
“Thank you.” She whispered in my ear.
Thank you? Why was she thanking me?
She pulled away, leaving me a bit wobbly.
“Shall we get started?” Dr. Rollins asked.
Oh gosh. I’m nervous.
I glanced in Harry’s direction and he nodded but looked nervous at the same time.
“Could I get you something to drink? We have coffee, hot tea…”
“Hot tea would be lovely dear.”
I smiled at Dr. Rollins and turned to Harry.
“Harry would you like anything?”
“An ice water babe?”
“Sure.” I said, relieved as I walked into the kitchen, busying myself.
I put the kettle on the stove top and leaned against the counter, taking long breaths. I needed to calm myself if I was going to make it through this night. I yawned. It was already so late. After pouring Dr. Rollins a cup of tea, I made Harry’s water and carried them out to the living room. They both looked up as I walked in. I set Dr. Rollins’ tea on the table and got her some cream and the sugar dish. She added a small teaspoon of sugar but didn’t use the cream.
“Thank you Grace.” Dr. Rollins said kindly.
“Yes…thank you.” Harry smiled, giving me a reassuring smile.
Dr. Rollins sat in Harry’s recliner between us, Harry sat on the couch, and I sat in my chair across from Harry. He took a sip of his water, looking terrified. I’d never been through anything like this. I’d never been to a therapy session. I knew Harry had loads of times but I think me being at this one was making him nervous. Dr. Rollins cleared her throat and looked back and forth between the two of us.
“To start off…Grace, do you have any questions about this session?”
“Um…how long will we…talk?”
“As long as it takes.”
Oh. She just got really professional.
“Okay.” I nodded.
“I need to know how serious the two of you are. Do you love each other?”
Harry let out a laugh.
“Of course we do. That’s definitely not the problem.”
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks as Dr. Rollins looked at me.
“Of course we do Dr. Rollins. I love Harry more than anything.”
Her eyes lit up and it made me feel good. I did something right. Yes!
“Good.” She smiled, her voice low.
“Harry, tell me why I’m here. You called me and I came. Now tell me why I’m here.”
“I need you to help me be a better boyfriend to Grace.” He said, his voice low.
“How?” Dr. Rollins asked.
“I need…”
Harry was struggling but I knew I couldn’t help him. She was going to ask me the same kind of hard questions. I could feel it.
“Harry, this is never going to work if you don’t know what you need. You know what you need. Now tell me. You should know I don’t mess around.”
“I need to stop being so protective. When Grace isn’t with me, I feel like I can’t protect her and it drives me mad. I’m controlling and jealous and irrational and I don’t know how to stop. I can’t stop. I’ve tried. I really have tried but I can’t by myself. Ever since…”
I looked away. Is he really going to talk about this? Last time I brought it up, it caused a huge fight.
“Your father?” Dr. Rollins asked.
Harry nodded, looking down at his lap.
“I died a million deaths that day. I’ve always wanted to protect her but now it’s all consuming. I have too many problems to count Stef. I have this fear of losing her. She tells me that she’s not leaving but I can’t stop worrying, worrying that I’m not good enough for her.”
Dr. Rollins crossed her legs and looked at me.
“What do you think about that Grace?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, playing with my fingers.
“I…I love him and I don’t want him to feel that way because I’m not going anywhere. I’ve told him but convincing him is tiring. He doesn’t see what a great person he is. He so full of self-doubt and it hurts me. It hurts me more than I think it hurts him and I know he would feel the same if I felt that way about myself.”
His eyes widened. Have I ever told him this? I don’t think I have but this is how I feel.
“Grace, where do you see yourself in five years from now? What do you see yourself doing?”
“Um…I’m not sure, graduated from college and working hopefully.”
“But with Harry?”
“Of course. I want to be with him forever.”
She turned her attention to Harry. He looked so uncomfortable. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to protect him from his own demons. All of this was bringing up bad memories from his past.
“Harry, where do you see the two of you?”
“Me married to her.”
Oh my gosh. What? Did he really just say that?
“You want to marry Grace?” she asked but she didn’t look all that surprised.
“Yes…I want to marry her someday. Not now but yes, I do.”
“Grace, do you want a family with Harry? Kids?”
Gosh, why is she asking this? We’re only teenagers. It’s like she can read us. It’s like she already knows our problems without even asking us but is trying to get us to see…something.
“Yes but…Harry doesn’t want kids.”
“I see…You know, you two are only kids yourselves. I can tell that you’re serious but right now isn’t the time to worry about this. Right now, you need to worry about your relationship. Right now, that’s what really matters to the both of you, right?”
I nodded and Harry glanced at me, not responding.
“Harry, I want you to clear your head. Obviously there is a lot of deep seeded anger you have bottled up inside but I need you to ignore that for a second and look into Grace’s eyes. Look into her eyes and talk to her. Tell her anything you want but just say something. Don’t talk to me but I want you to look into her eyes and talk to her.”
Harry looked deep into my eyes and my heart skipped a beat.
“Grace, I’m sick of not making you laugh because I love the sound of your laugh. I want you to be so proud of me and I want to always make you happy. The worst day of my life was when my father…had a gun pointed at you and I know he’s out there. I know he’s still out there somewhere and that’s why I am the way I am. I never had a dad. I had an abusive father but I’ve never had a dad. I didn’t know love growing up, at least not from a male figure. He slapped me around and treated me like dirt. That’s probably why I never want to be a father. I just never had anyone to teach me how to be a father. Just the thought of him being out there, it makes me crazy, but I want to change. I want you to do what you want and I want to not feel like I can’t breathe every time you walk out our apartment door.”
I looked at Dr. Rollins and she nodded. She wanted me to talk back to him. I had to be closer though. I stood up and walked around the table before taking a seat, grasping is hands in mine.
“It’s okay that you’re scared but you just have to stop worrying about me to the point where you’re holding me back. I hate saying that to you but you wanted me to drop two of my classes because I had a young male professor. This is my future Harry. You’re my future too but I want to be educated. It’s what I want and you can’t take that away from me.”
“I know…I’m sorry.”
“But you can’t say you’re sorry and not change. You apologize all the time.”
I had to tell him this. I had to.
“Tell her. Tell her what you’re going to do.” Dr. Rollins said, offering a reassuring smile to Harry.
“I’m going to change this time. I have to, for us. Please trust me. I’ll have to work at it. It’ll take time but I will.”
I leaned into him, placing my head against his chest.
“I trust you Harry.” I said.
“I want you both to look at me for a minute.”
I picked my head up off of Harry’s chest and we both looked at Dr. Rollins.
“You two don’t need me. Harry, you don’t need me anymore. What you need is right in front of you. I have never ever seen you so mature Harry, and I think you are both right on track. There is so much love between the two of you. I’ve never seen a couple your age so mature. You two can make it but you have to work at it for each other. You have to want it. Harry, you have to put your anger aside and channel your energy into something good and Grace, you have to help him with that.”
I nodded and so did Harry.
“Will you stay here in our spare room? Stay for the weekend?” Harry asked,
“Of course I will Harry, if that’s okay with you too Grace.”
“Absolutely! It’s late.”
“We’ll talk more tomorrow.” Dr. Rollins said and Harry carried her suitcase into the spare bedroom.
I turned out the lights in the living room, cleaned the dishes, and walked into mine and Harry’s bedroom. He was sitting at the end of the bed, waiting for me. I closed the door and quickly changed into my pajamas before standing in front of him. He pulled me close so that I was standing between his legs.
“I love you Lilian Grace Absure.”
“I love you too.” I whispered.
“Do you know how much?”
“I think so Harry.”
Harry’s POV
I held my angel as she slept. Her head was on my chest and our limbs were intertwined. Having Dr. Rollins come was the best thing for us and for me. It was an eye opener for me, a wakeup call. I knew that I had to get it together and get it together now. I had to give this girl everything. I had to treat her like the angel she was.
I pressed a kiss to her forehead. She was so beautiful when she slept, not that she wasn’t always. I was more sure now than ever; this girl would be my wife.
“You’ll have kids.” I kissed her lips, knowing she couldn’t hear me.
“And I’ll be their dad.” I whispered before falling into a deep sleep.
………………
“Harry.”
Lips pressed to my temple and I groaned.
“It’s Sunday and I’m not going to work. Let me sleep.”
She ran her hand down my bare torso and played with the waistband of my pajama bottoms. Oh so that’s how she wants to play.
I opened my eyes and rolled over so that I was on top of her body, holding my weight with my elbows.
“We can’t…Dr. Rollins is in our apartment.”
“So? She knows I fuck you baby. It’s not like I haven’t told her.”
Grace’s jaw dropped wide open and a blush rose in her cheeks.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes Grace. I’m very serious. She’s my shrink. To do her job she has to know everything about me. That’s the way she works. She’s all about her patients telling her the problem instead of the other way around. It’s very refreshing compared to some other shrinks.”
“So there’s a problem with our sex life?” she asked, making me chuckle.
“Oh yes. The problem is that you are so desirable and I want you every second of the day.”
“Even in coolers?” she asked, blushing fiercely.
“Yes even then, and we never finished what we started in there.”
“Um…maybe we should stick to rooms with locks on the doors.” She suggested.
I smiled. Could it really be this carefree all the time? I want us to always be like this.
“Will you shower with me baby?”
She glanced at me and smiled.
“We’ve come so far, haven’t we Harry?”
“What do you mean love?” I asked.
“I mean in our relationship. I’m more comfortable around you than anyone. We’ve come so far together.”
“Yes baby.” I smiled and pressed a kiss to her lips.
“We have.” I whispered.
I cupped her face, running my thumb over her cheekbone as her eyes fluttered closed.
“Now…stop distracting me. I want you in that shower.” I said, scooping her up and throwing her over my shoulder.
“I love you Harry.”
“Oh I love you too baby.” I said as I carried her into our bathroom.